Authors note: s So here you have the other chapter like I promised. Finally the slow burn has started to burn. I hope you guys enjoy it.
XX
Pink King
His stomach felt sick, as he held tight to her unconscious body, not being aware of what had happened after her cry. He didnt know whether he'd hurt her. She had been his...for a second in this twisted galaxy, he found someone whose heart burned at the same temperature as his, and he might've hurt her again.
Still holding her, he ran to his quarters and gently placed put her to his bed, linked her to the medicinal apparatuses and waited for their boot signal to begin the scan-and-heal process. Stealing the technology from the First Base was the best thing he'd realized he'd done. After the machine let out the signal, he went around it regulating the pressure and the parameters according to her body and state. From time to time he would glance at her, making sure she was still breathing.
Her body laid pale and still and her chest moved only slightly, with a faint breath going in and out. The apparatus was on but there was no reaction from her.
Kylo Ren clenched his fists and started going around it, to change parameters to a better fit, frustrated at his uselessness. He started murmuring, while felt his anger filling his body, as none of the inputs that he was giving worked on her. Pacing around the bed, he tried thinking of the extensive training the medics gave them on the First Base when they introduced it. It was complicated but he always had a way with machinery. He'd learnt it in less than 3 days when it took the commanders one month. Yet now, that he needed that knowledge most, he had nothing. Nothing. There was nothing inside in his head about this damn machine. He felt like a helpless child, anger and tears rising up to his head, as he went for his lightsaber, ready to unleash his anger onto the machine and the room.
But he saw her, and he saw her chest rising more and more, as her breaths became fuller and the colour had returned in her cheeks and her skin.
Kylo recognized the feeling all too well. But this feeling of relief was buried back within him, with Ben, into his childhood. The feeling of weightlessness, joy and relief as the heart dropped off the chest. When he would know everything would be fine. Every time Han Solo would come home, every time he would see the shadow of the Millenium Falcon up in the skies, his heart would drop and peace would take over his body once again. All the angsty lonely breakfasts with his mother, all the nights that he would sneak in on her chamber, only to hear her cry; days filled with worry, anguish and sleepless nights, all the vortex of feelings that would take over their house after Han Solo would climb on that ship. And it would all be gone when the most famous ship in the planet would approach their system.
He knew the feeling, when he saw her finally move slightly and moan slowly from pain. He realized she was healing herself.
He slowly approached the bed, taking the tubes off her arms and her ribs, to let her freely heal herself. He looked at her bruised body and lightly brushed the hair out of her face. He realized his heart was beating faster, something that he had accepted happened normally whenever he was near her. He continued to look at her as guilt took over his stomach but was interrupted by her heavy breathing that was becoming deeper and deeper. Alarmed, seeing that she was running out of breath again, he ran towards the apparatus to turn it on again. Behind his back he heard her move and took a moment to turn around-
''They are looking for us!'' Her sharp voice cut through the air, behind him. He turned around, terrified of what she'd said and stared at her as he'd forgotten all of the words he could mouth.''You heard what I said.'' Her words were icy.
''What are you saying? Who? Who is looking for us?'' Kylo felt the terror growing on his guts. How could she possibly know? How could she know?
''Im saying, you know damn well what I'm saying!'' Rey shouted in disbelief. ''What even is happening? When will someone give me the truth around here? What do I need to do? Because I have done what was asked of me!" Her voice was close to cracking. " I have travelled half away the galaxy, to train myself, to become worthy, to become the One. And I don't even know what's happening!'' It wasn't just her voice that was vibrating in the air. Her disappointment, her disbelief, Kylo felt her energy, filled with anger and confusion, vibrating through her bones. ''I left everything behind me.'' she said, now her expressionless face was staring at the ground.
''You are right.'' Kylo heard the words leave his mouth with a long sigh while slowly approaching her. ''You deserve to know everything, more than anyone else.'' He leaned closer to her and gently, with his index finger, caressed her chin upwards, to look at her hazel green eyes. ''I will tell you everything you want to know. So far, I have done nothing but treat you like Luke Skywalker has treated you. He has put you in a container, he is scared of your energy. I was wrong, and I want to redeem myself.'' He took a deep breath, his eyes stilled fixated on the features of her face. ''You, are the most powerful Jedi I have ever seen Rey, and I will help you become what you wish to become.''
Rey could not help herself but stare back at his dark eyes in awe. He meant everything he said. She realized that deep inside her, she trusted this man more than she ever thought possible, and for the first time, she felt comfortable with it. It was not the encouraging words that he'd always say to her, it was the way he said those words. He had never lied to her, and he was sitting in front of her, apologizing for not telling her the whole truth. Having to deal with scammers, thieves and liars her whole life, she had grown weary of everyone, always putting her instincts first. But Kylo Ren had always been honest to her. And now he had offered himself, his whole truth, to her. Rey gulped.
''Just tell me what is happening.'' She said with a sigh, trying really hard to hide the contempt she was feeling. ''I am tired of playing guess every time someone wants to draw a lightsaber through my body. I want to feel in control.''
''I understand.'' He paused for a few seconds, and sat down, leaning against the wall. ''I did leave the Knights of Ren. I left Snoke. I left it all. The battle inside me...it became unbearable, and killing Han- my own father became the culprit of that. I became nothing but my fight between the light and the dark. I could not escape either of my sides. See Rey, living inside my head is rather...exhausting if not excruciating. And after I saw what you could be, it gave me hope.''
''Hope? Me?'' Rey said, confused. She had sat next to him, listening attentively to every word that he said.
''Yes. I know you will deny it, but the Force that you have, you might be a Jedi but you are not all light. You have darkness inside you...'' He paused, fearing her reaction, but she never said anything. ''...but you still live with it, you choose whichever works for you best, and you do it so lightly, you make it seem so unbearably easy, it makes me jealous. You make the choice. It is all you.''
''Jealous?'' Rey scoffed. ''Did you know that I've eaten sand for most of my life?'' she said jokingly.
''Your peace of mind.'' he interrupted her. ''You are so perfectly in harmony with yourself. Your thoughts are so...pure, so simple to find. Ive been inside your head, and I wish I could live there. And because of that, your Force is so balanced and pure, something I have killed for.''
Rey shook her head at his last words, trying to get rid of the thought, and looked at the window in front of them. The rosy sparks of the sun had catch on to the clouds like a leaking water paint. She had forgotten it was time for the sun to rise. Rey knew he was looking at the sky too. The silence that had fell between them was one of the most comfortable conversations they ever had. The warm feeling in her chest kindled a faded smile in her lips.
''I always loved the mornings and twilights in Jak'ku'' she said, not knowing why she was telling him that. Maybe he needs a normal conversation. '' Jak'ku is a cold-hearted bastard of a desert but, the colours of the morning and the painted skies in the evening...'' She sighed deeply and turned to him, her smile still lingering in her lips. ''They are something worth waking up for.''
''My life wasn't always like this, I remember...'' she said, '' But I dont remember enough not to call Jak'ku my home'' The hint of sadness in her voice shook Kylo into reality. While gazing out of the window, he had only half listened to her words, all of his attention was on her soothing voice, the distant accent that she spoke them with, and the gentleness that she carried with them.
''Another thing I envy of you...of most of people actually'' he said, looking at her. ''Is the ability to have a home.'' Rey looked at him confused. He is the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. The most famous people in the Galaxy. He is almost of royal blood. How could he possibly feel like this?
''Everyone I ever knew, they told me how lucky I was to have Han Solo as a father. The most notorious adventurer in the Galaxy. The pilot of Millenium Falcon!'' he scoffed. ''Well, I had Han Solo but I never had a father.'' he whispered.
''What do you mean...?'' Rey was too afraid to ask for more. Nothing could ever justify the murder of Han Solo, but maybe she would get to know the ''why;; behind it.
''They never spoke. They only yelled. And screamed. And threw things at each other. '' He was speaking softly, but Rey could tell he was desperate to speak the words. ''And he would disappear for months. Mother would think him dead, but she never said so to me. Sometimes I think she wanted him dead. At least that would be a good reason for not seeing your family for months, sometimes years.''
''At least they didn't abandon you on a desert planet...'' Rey felt the competition for the worst parents was playing up to her standards.
''-No.'' he looked at her. ''I know why they left you. I was there when the Knights of Ren destroyed the Jedi temple. They wanted to save you. Han Solo never gave two thoughts about me, let alone save me.'' He took a deep breath, and Rey hushed, giving him time to tell her more. ''The day they sent me to Luke...He had just come home two days ago..." He fell silent for a few seconds. "...The thing with being force sensitive is that you can feel what others around you feel.'' His facial expression changed into discomfort while he pressed his lips. ''I hate that. I always felt it. Mother's worry, grief and anger. It confused me so much.'' Kylo Ren took a deep breath and stood up, reaching his arm for her hand, to help her up too. His hand is warm. She got up and followed him as he headed outside the door, out of the quarters. Rey couldn't read him anymore, he was far too focused on the story. But she followed him throughout the four quarters and to a quite small maintenance room with many parts, where he started looking for something. She wanted to know the end of the story. Ben Solo's story.
''You know the day I left for Luke's jedi temple'' he stopped, his voice was covered by the noise of the rumbling metals that he was moving around to find what he was looking for. Rey saw him squatting to search some other parts of the room, much too confused at what was happening. ''Was the first and only time I saw them next to each other, almost happy. No,'' he said while grunting, reaching through some metal parts, still searching. ''They were happy the baggage wasn't there anymore.'' The noises soon stopped and he stood up and turned around, his dark hair ruffled and much too out of place. He looked like a young boy with half a smile on his face, holding up a reactor piece. Rey's eyes widened and her mouth fell open wide.
''Oh my! That! How do you have that?How?'' Rey could not hold her excitement, when he handed her the piece. ''This- You know how much this is? This could give me meals for a lifetime- no for three lifetimes! My childrens children could be eating like lords with this!'' she squealed while continuously looking at the piece, and then at Kylo. He on the other side had a contempt smile on his face.
''Im sorry your life was hard,'' Kylo heard himself say with a saddened expression, catching her attention. Rey looked at him, puzzled at his words. She went closer to him, their bodies almost touching each other. Slowly, she put her free hand on his arm and took a deep breath.
''The Jedi raid.'' She cut him short. ''Luke told me. You dont have to talk about that'' she said, diverting the conversation. Kylo took the hint, and reached his hand to the piece she was holding. He put it up to examine in front of the dim light that shone in the small room and started walking towards the main entrance of the ship. Rey followed him, not sure where they were going- where he was going. Following him, Rey thought of what had happened the last days that she'd spent with him. A sudden thought stroke her.
''Why did you kill the knights of Ren? Arent they like a family or something?''
Kylo didn't turn around, but kept walking. ''They betrayed me...They knew the consequences of their actions'' he spoke, his voice barely reaching her from his back. ''I was their leader, and they choose to follow some else's orders'' He paused and turned around to look at her. ''Insubordination is punishable by death.'' After he finished talking, Rey became aware at where they were going. They were almost deep in the woods now, but it wasn't too much of a strain on her. She took a deep breath to soak in all the fresh air that came in a breeze.
''Where are we going?'' she asked, still confused as to why she was following him. The ground below them had started to become rougher and steeper. There were more rocks than dirt, and the trees had begun to shorten into bushes. Rey glanced behind her and saw that they were already far away from the base ship, actually one could not tell where the ship was, had they not known the way where they came.
''I want to show you something'' He said in a serious tone, turning around and reaching his arm to help her climb the steep grounds. ''I have left something here, many years ago.'' He pulled her up and continued ahead, while Rey was left again vexed and curious about what was ahead of them. Did he hide a weapon or something? Supplies? Maybe...Oh my, what if he shows me his first lightsaber? That cross guard must be a recent one. He probably made one out of the crystals, with Luke...But why did he take that reactor piece? That reactor piece that can feed me for the rest of my life. In Jak'kkus name that could feed the entire village. Unkar Plutt would probably retire...or buy a lowlife planet. You definitively can with that piece. Rey found herself smiling at the thought of showing Unkar Plutt the reactor piece. He would probably start to melt grease from his head every time he saw something more valuable than a ship. She kept her head straight and looked at Kylo Ren's figure as he led the way. There was something about him that always stopped her from wanting to actually kill him. She had vowed to Luke that she hated him and every inch of his being, but she had realized she was wrong. His tall, broad and dark stature was frightening nonetheless, but not hostile. It hurt her pride admitting that she felt safe around him.
As the ground became steeper and steeper, he turned back more often so to help her. His breathing was significantly heavier as well, and Rey could see some strings of his dark hair, clinging to his face as he turned around, from the sweat.
''Did Luke train you this well?'' He said in a tone of almost disbelief, and looked for the nearest boulder to sit down. ''How are you so wounded still, and ready to climb a mountain?''
''I've climbed dunes and AT-AT's for a living for about ten years.'' She said nonchalantly, trying to hide her content. ''This is nothing. Try climbing this in desert temperatures...Sometimes other scavenger's booby traps... you haven't eaten for days, there is no water in sight,'' She said tilting her head. '' only sand and the Sun.'' She thought of sitting down but Kylo got up and started walking again up the mountain. A long silence fell between the two of them for which Rey didn't mind. She would listen to the nature instead. She loved the songs of the birds, and the fluttering of insects, no matter how annoying they seemed to others. She liked the silence of the people, but she loved the language of nature. Sand dunes used to speak also. Sometimes, when the sun had just lef the peak, and the wind would start to howl through them, they would sing sad songs, as if they were looking for something, or someone lost. As much as she loved music, she never learnt to play, or to sing. But the nature as she had learnt, the deep green forest, the angry blue water, they would sing beautifully, and that was enough for her.
While lost in her own thoughts she noticed that Kylo had started to hum a melody too. She knew she had been careless and that he'd been inside her mind but it didn't make her angry enough to say something about it. It made her smile. Supring to her since they met, he had a rather soothing voice. It was deep and sometimes raspy, but very comforting. Probably another reason why he wore the mask. The melody had turned sad and oddly melancholic but she didn't want him to stop.
''My mother used to sing me this when I was a child...many, many years ago.'' She heard him say. He had started to walk slower and closer by her side, and she'd notice the ground become softer too. Rey realized that they were close to the destination. His steps were more confident and he'd turn to his usual marching-like walk. ''We're almost there'' She heard him say, as she glanced at the wide meadow that had slowly appeared in front of them, as their view was completely free of trees. In the end, she noticed a large dark object, that she could not make of what it was yet. Rey blinked again to tried to see clearer, and her mouth opened wide as soon as she realized what it was.
''You have another ship here?!'' The words came out almost shouting.
''It's a ship I had started to build while training under Luke.'' He said, and Rey knew he had a smile on his face. As they went closer she could not help but wonder at his abilities. The ship clearly took off his father's vessel. ''We came here, the two of us, on Luke's business at the time, and I had too much time on my hands. I hated picking stuff up with my mind all the time, so I'd climb the mountain every day to kill time. At that time, there was a Resistance base nearby so I stole some of their scrap to build this.'' Rey was amazed at the ship, and the story that came with it. ''I never got to fly the Millennium Flacon, so I wanted to make my own. But at the time I missed the most important piece of all,'' He said while showing her the small reactor he had in his hand. '' And no one in the Resistance had one of these laying around back then. Now I get to finish what I started'' he said as they approached the ship.
Being closer to it, Rey could see how the ship was build by a teenager, but it did seem magnificent nonetheless. Besides the darker colour, and the rust of time, the ship was an almost identical smaller model of the Millennium Falcon.
''Did you name it?'' she said, walking around it. Kylo's eyebrows narrowed into a pained expression.
''No.'' He scoffed. ''Ships don't need names, they need serial numbers.''
''That's fair'' Said Rey, not caring much about his reaction. She followed him up and inside the ship. ''But if I was still a teenager and I had just build a ship, I would definitively name it something. How old were you when you built this?''
''Fourteen.'' Kylo Ren said. He moved closer to one of its wings and opened a casket beneath the turbine. ''I want to make it work, because I need to leave this planet, or system.'' He moved from the wing and to the main entrance. He sounded annoyed. ''Not because I want to fulfill my long time dream of finishing my childhood ship.''
''You already have a ship- a rather big one!'' Said Rey confused, following him around the ship. ''Why would you get this one? It can't even fly!'' She shouted at him while pointing at the ship with both hands, for she'd been left behind one of the pilot's quarters in a narrow corridor between the two rooms. Rey saw him turn around and marching towards her, angered at her words.
''The ship I have there is a 11ATS weaponised unit with an uncrackable tracker, fifteen reactors and a self informed server, from the First Base, courtesy of Hux and Snoke. It can think for itself, It can endure higher temperatures than the planet's core, it can be tracked everywhere in the universe and above all, it possesses enough energy and weaponry to blow this planet up whole. Now, seeing that because of you, I murdered the Knights of Ren, defied Snoke's orders and saved your life, do you really want to be there Scavanger?''
''Because of me? What- I never told you!'' Rey felt hot. What did he mean because of me?
''You need to listen- stop wandering around the ship!" He shouted impatiently. "Concentrate! You need to come with me!" He said in flash second, surprised himself from the words that came out of him.
Rey stopped looking around the ship and gazed at his face. She saw the rage and the impatience all over him. His muscles were tense, and so was the air between them. He was close enough for her to see his chest breathing and his nostrils flaring. After scanning his eyes, and the scar that marked his face, her eyes deliberately searched for his lips. They were slightly parted, and she saw his jaw clench at her words. Amidst the anger that she had and slightly embarrassed about it, Rey thought of the softness of his lips, before touching them lightly with the tips of her fingers. She felt his chest softly gasp at the surprise, but his anger started to slowly fade away.
''I don't know whether I want to kill you or kiss you.'' He said in a stern voice.
''You're a monster.'' Rey was still angry, but her voice whined in a soft tone. ''I dont know why I want to be around you-''
He was close enough for her to feel him breathing, and his body against her. After her last words, she felt his weight slowly shifting onto her and the wall behind her pushed against them. His eyes were tracing her lips and Rey felt her heart beating in her ears. He leaned closer and his lips slowly touched hers, lightly in the beginning, growing more aggressive with each touch. The shame that she'd felt before had vanished. She didnt care why she liked his lips, or the way his hand would trace her face, and the other would slowly wrap her waist, bringing her closer to him. She didn't care that she liked the way his soft lips felt so warm against hers, or the way her head would grow hot with each time their tongues touched. All Rey cared about was that she wanted every moment of it. She ran her fingers through his thick hair and pulled him closer, letting herself get lost in his lips.
What are we doing? What am I doing? Luke told me I should kill him! He killed people! What are you doing Rey?! But everything inside her wanted him. He is your enemy! He tried to kill you! Stop! Her body, her hands, her lips, she refused every one of those thoughts. She felt him grab her hand and slowly parting their lips, before leading her to the piloting quarters. He stopped, took a deep breath with his chest pounding, and looked at her, searching for answers that none of them had. His eyes were much clearer than before, Rey could tell the hazel in them. She could also see every freckle of his, dotting and tracing the features of his face with a youthful touch. Her chest felt heavy too, guilt and excitement all alike, but she could not stop thinking about his lips.
''What are we doing?'' she whispered softly, before she kissed him again.