Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 25! I can hardly believe I have one chapter and an epilogue remaining before I finish this story. It has been such an incredible experience, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. Here's Chapter 25: Return

Disclaimer: The Secret Saturdays belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned. Also, self harm and suicidal undertones.

New Year's Eve is tomorrow, and I am having such a hard time believing that. It has been a truly hard year, not just on me. Zak died in May after Argost ripped Kur's spirit from him, and Dad died in May as well. Then there was Dr. Beeman's pursuit of us and Zak's second death and resurrection that resulted in him regaining his Kur powers. I learned about my family and tried to heal. Then, back in August, we lost Drew and spent four months mourning her. We found her, and I learned that Mom and my unborn baby sibling are both dead. What a year it has been, and next year shows no signs of getting any easier. There is so much uncertainty and so much fear. How is this fair?

Drew cuts my hair, and I watch it fall to the ground. My head feels so much lighter now that all the hair is gone. All I have left is a pixie cut that covers my left eye. I still have not told the Saturdays about Dr. Beeman taking my powers. I wish I knew, however, why he wanted them so badly. None of this really makes sense, but at this point, I don't really care. We are taking Indigne home, and we probably won't ever see her again. After that, we are returning to Seward to try and live life as normally as we can. Doc starts work soon, and Drew still has some paperwork left to do to prove that she is still alive. After that, I think she wants to work as a doctor at the local clinic. Zak and I start public school soon. Honestly, I am not looking forward to that. It will eventually warm up in Seward, which means no more long sleeves, which means people will see my scars. I'm not proud of my self harming, but I don't know how else to cope. I want to stop, I really do, but I can't. I've tried, and each time I relapse. I really regret doing it, but it's become an addiction. There are times when I scratch myself for no reason other than I simply felt an urge. I know I need help, but I don't know whom and how to tell. There is obviously something wrong with me, but there is nothing I can do about it.

I hear Drew and Indigne talking at the door. Looking around, I notice that Drew is done cutting my hair and has cleaned up. How did I miss that? Indigne has something in her hand, and she is apparently asking Drew if she can talk with me alone. Drew consents and leaves the room. Indigne approaches me and sits down in a chair across from me.

"I found this picture of your Mom. Figured you might want it." Indigne hands me a picture of Mom with Dad. There's no date on the picture, so I have no idea when it was taken, but they both look so happy with each other. Yet, both seem sad somehow. But it's a lovely picture, and I will cherish it forever. It's all I have left of my family besides my memories and the star shaped charm that I have sitting on my dresser in my room at the Saturdays' house.

"Thank you, Ms. Albright."

"You can call me Indigne, Lily."

"Thank you, Indigne."

We drop Indigne off close to where she lives and head back to Seward. It's dark when we arrive, not that that unusual. Everyone says goodnight and goes their separate ways. I shower and head to bed. I really need the sleep to try and process the past few days' events. However, I don't sleep. I'm war with myself. I've lost my family and my powers, but I have the Saturdays. So why do I feel so worthless? Why do I feel like someone took away my ability to feel positive things again? Why do I feel like I just don't belong here anymore? I can't give the Saturdays anything, but they don't need anything from me.

I eventually fall asleep, but it is a restless sleep. In that sleep, I dream of Mom and Dad. They are happy and together. It is the first time I have ever seen them together since I was a small child. It makes me happy to see my parents so happy, but a melancholy fills me. I will never see that again as long as I live. I will never see my parents so elated to be with each other. All I will have to remember their relationship by are the memories from when I was a little girl. That hardly seems fair at all. Zak will get to watch his parents be happily married, but I won't get that. My parents are dead, and I can never be a true Saturday. It's not like with Doyle, where they accepted him almost right off the bat. I get the feeling that I am somehow an extra mouth to feed, despite the fact that no one has ever told me this.

I thought dreams were supposed to be a way to escape the reality of the world, not make it worse. For a while after I first arrived at WeirdWorld, I remember I often tried to escape the reality of the situation through dreams. I cherished sleep so much because it was the only time when I wasn't who and where I was. There was a separation between dreams and reality. Now, I have no such separation. Reality has since leaked its way into my dreams until finally I dream only of reality.

Jolting awake, I realize that my face is wet and that my eyes sting. I make my way to the bathroom and turn on the shower. The water is scorching hot, but I like it. I stand under the water and let it burn me. Maybe, just maybe, it'll burn me away completely.

That's the end of Chapter 25. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I will have Chapter 26 up soon. Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. I love you all so much!