Clarke was disappointed in the morning when instead of Lexa she found just a warm spot on the bed beside her where the other girl had been. But it was enough to bring a smile to her face when she realized that the last day had been real, and that Lexa had come back to her, regardless of how.
Stretching out her arms she slipped out of the side of the bed and stuck her feet in her boots, not even bothering to lace them up as she stumbled to the door.
Sticking her head outside, she was met with the sight of Lexa growling softly at a lizard that was creeping closer and closer towards her front paws. Although she seemed more irritated than actually bothered by it.
"Will you stop that?" Clarke laughed, picking the lizard up by the tail and moving it to the other side of the clearing, "You sound like a thunder storm, the idea is to avoid other people, not draw them directly to us."
Lexa just tilted her head to the side expectantly, "Stop looking at me like that, this would be so much easier if I could pretend I didn't know exactly what that look meant." Clarke scowled childishly. "I don't want to go back to Arkadia. It doesn't matter if you're alive now, if they had all just trusted me then you wouldn't have died and Polis wouldn't be in ruins."
Seeming to wince, Lexa dropped her head down to rest on her paws dejectedly, giving a soft, mournful whine.
Clarke sighed, lowering herself to sit down next to her, leaning into her side so she could rest her head against Lexa's shoulder, "I'm sorry, I tried Lexa, I really did. But what could I have done? I'm not a nightblood, I couldn't have led your people even if I wanted to, they would never have accepted me. I think most of those that survived scattered, with some of them eventually finding their way to Luna."
Twisting slightly, Lexa rested her chin on Clarke's legs, allowing the girl to stroke her fingers over her face, trailing the war paint designs that were now part of her fur.
"I know you want me to let them find me, but if I go back to Arkadia what happens to you, there's no way mom's going to let me just show up saying, oh hey mom, sorry I abandoned you all again. And by the way this is my girlfriend that you all hated anyway, she died because Skaikru as a group are moronic but she came back as the world's biggest wolf so all is forgiven."
Lexa looked up without bothering to move her head, her green eyes sparkling.
"It's not funny." Clarke laughed despite herself, "This is just an insane situation, it's far better if I just stay away. So we're leaving."
Clarke tried to stand up to pack her things, but Lexa caught hold of the waistband of her pants in her teeth, pulling her back to the ground before she pounced on top of her. Pinning Clarke in place by laying across her body with her full weight.
"Get off!" Clarke cried out, trying to wriggle out from underneath her, but even as a wolf Lexa was pure muscle and she was far too heavy for Clarke to escape until Lexa was prepared to let her.
Giving up the futile struggle, Clarke glared at her reproachfully, "This is cheating, you're huge now."
Lexa huffed in irritation, her warm breath tickling Clarke's neck.
"I'm not calling you fat, you idiot. But you're twice the size of me now and you have four legs. Are you really going to make me wait until night time when I'll have a fair chance?"
Lexa made an odd barking noise and Clarke tipped her head to the side quizzically as she tried to work it out, "Wait, are you laughing at me?" She asked in confusion, the confusion quickly clearing up when Lexa's face dropped into that same lopsided grin from the day before, "You are! That's just rude."
She was about to say more when Lexa's eyes suddenly narrowed in focus and she stood up to allow Clarke to stand beside her, "What is it?" Clarke breathed softly in her ear, not even needing to bend down because of how tall Lexa's wolf form was.
In answer, Lexa just dropped down to her stomach and started crawling towards the treeline, as Clarke followed she realised they were going in the same direction of the panther's den where Lexa had saved her.
"How could you let this happen?" They heard from up in front of them, "After three months you finally find her and then you leave her to die horribly and all alone."
"That's my mom." Clarke whispered, "She came herself?"
Lexa shot her a withering look out the corner of her eye, as if to say, of course she did you idiot, she loves you.
"I don't know how you can be more sarcastic by not talking at all." Clarke snarked back at her before they crept a little closer to continue listening.
The two guards who had abandoned her were desperately trying to defend themselves to a furious looking Abby, "There was nothing we could do, there was the panther and then a wolf showed up, we barely got away with our own lives."
"You had guns, my poor Clarke had nothing." Abby snarled at them, before she took a deep breath and continued down the path to where the opening of the den was, fully expecting to find her daughter's body when she rounded the corner.
They heard rather than saw when she came across the body of the panther, and Clarke could picture in her mind's eye what her mother was seeing, the huge cat practically ripped apart by Lexa's teeth and claws.
She felt Lexa's nudging her with her head, and tried to push back, hissing that she didn't want to face her mother. But one look at Lexa's serious expression and she knew that the ex-commander was right, her mother deserved to know she wasn't dead at the very least.
"Fine ok, but you're coming with me." She muttered, before standing back up and slipping through the trees, moving quietly until she reached the edge of the clearing the panther carcass was in and she could just catch a glimpse of the sun glinting off Abby's hair in front of her.
"Mom." She called softly.
Abby's head whipped round as a hopeful expression flashed across her face, "Clarke is that you?"
"It is mom." Clarke answered her, "I'm going to come out and talk to you, but you need to tell your two guys to keep their guns down, and to not panic and shoot ok?"
"Why would they-?"
"You'll understand in a minute, just do it ok? Or I'll just disappear and you won't find me again. I know these woods far better than any other member of Skaikru."
Abby waved at the two guards, "Either one of you shoots a weapon without my express permission and I'll have your heads."
They nodded quickly, swallowing nervously at almost the exact same time Clarke did.
"Ok, come on Lexa, and remember I'm only doing this because of you."
Lexa made that same soft barking noise that Clarke interpreted as a laugh and then shoved again with her head. Gently padding out of the trees and into the clearing after Clarke.
Abby stiffened as she saw the enormous wolf behind her daughter, but to her credit she took a deep breath and her hand didn't even twitch towards her weapon.
The two guards didn't show the same self control, both of them starting to raise their guns again before Clarke herself snarled at them angrily, placing herself very deliberately between Lexa and the weapons.
Lexa herself practically rolled her eyes, shoving Clarke to the side lightly and trotting across the clearing until she was in front of Abby before sitting down deliberately as though she was taking her place on her throne.
"Maybe you should ask to shake her paw." Clarke joked towards Abby before she could stop herself, her grin widening when Lexa gave a low growl of indignation at the thought of her performing like a common mutt that had been commonplace in the capitol.
Abby looked between Clarke and the wolf for a few moments, before finally deciding that no one was in immediate danger. Crossing to her daughter she pulled her into a fierce hug, wrapping her arms around Clarke tightly and refusing to let go until Clarke eventually pried her off of her.
"Mom will you please let go. I'm fine I promise."
"Where have you been Clarke, you can't keep doing this to me? And why the hell are you being followed around by a dangerous predator as though you've tamed it like a pet?"
Clarke shook her head softly, sniggering as Lexa somehow managed to look offended behind her mother's back.
"Mom, you need to understand something ok? When Lexa died, that was really hard for me, but I stayed because everyone was in danger. Once they were safe, well then I needed some time to grieve."
Abby sighed patiently, "Sweetheart I know she was your friend, but she-"
Clarke cut her off with a gentle shake of her head, "No she wasn't mom, I loved her. And I never said it, and then I had to watch her die, and it was my fault."
Abby's eyes widened at the pain she saw in Clarke's, and all she could do was pull her in close again, "Clarke I am so sorry, I really am, I never realised. Please honey, come home, I'm sure Lexa would want you safe, let me help you."
Clarke laughed, pulling back from her and nodding towards Lexa herself, who was watching them with her wolf grin back in full force, looking smug. "Actually that's exactly what she wants."
Looking back at the wolf, Abby suddenly saw the resemblance between the young grounder leader and the animal, and her heart broke at the fantasy Clarke was using to help her cope.
"Clarke honey, you have to understand, no matter how much we want people to come back they just can't."
Huffing in annoyance, Lexa stood up and padded over to them, standing beside the two of them, allowing Clarke to run her fingers over the war paint marks.
"Mom I promise you that I'm not going crazy, this is literally Lexa, and I'm going to prove it. Stay with me tonight and I promise I can."
Abby looked at her doubtfully.
"Please mom, one night, if you're not convinced then I'll come back and do whatever you say until I get over my grief."
Reluctantly Abby nodded, "Ok, one night. But don't be too disappointed if you can't Clarke. I know how hard we can wish for people to come back."