. The next morning she woke in the sandwich that was her lovers in a fit of nausea. Bolting up straight between them, it was a struggle to untangle herself from the sheets and limbs that were invading her bed. Barely making it to the toilet in the bathroom linked to their bedroom, dinner from the night before jettisoned into the bowl. Her retching woke Noatak first, who rolled from the bed in a sleepy flurry. He reached the doorway, rubbing his eyes, to find his young lover bent over the toilet. He immediately rushed to her side and pulled her hair back from her face.
"Korra, are you okay?" He asked frantically. He was answered with more vomiting. She just shook her head between gags, and soon it was just stomach bile coming out of her mouth. After a few more heaves, she was left shuddering in front of the toilet. Noatak reached over her head and flushed the offending bile from the bowl. Korra rested her head on the seat, breathing. "Korra?" Noatak prodded gently.
"I'm fine, just drank too much last night," Korra said, looking up at him, smiling. She stood a little shakily and went to the sink. Her sleep shirt was wrinkled from the nights rest, and she tried to straighten it, self-conscious. Noatak followed her, and placed his arms around her waist while resting his chin on top of her head. She brushed her teeth and tongue roughly, trying to get the taste of stomach acid out of her mouth. Tarrlok entered the bathroom's doorframe the, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
"What's going on?" He asked sleepily. Korra just shook her head, and Noatak gazed at his brother through the mirror.
"Korra's sick," Noatak told him after realizing Korra wouldn't. Tarrlok's eyebrows shot up in concern.
"What's wrong, my love?" He rushed to her side, his eyes boring into her face. Noatak moved over to look at her face properly. The brothers looked at her expectantly.
"Nothing, I'm fine," Korra said again. She rinsed her toothbrush and placed it back into the cup behind the door of the medicine cabinet. She smiled at Tarrlok, who just continued to look at her. After a while, he shrugged and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
"If you're sure," He said. He then dropped his shorts and entered the large shower in the bathroom. Korra turned to Noatak who still seemed skeptical. She smiled as widely as she could. She actually didn't feel nauseous anymore, and was back to her chipper self.
"I'm fine," She said again and got on her toes to kiss his cheek. When she pulled away, he nodded and exited the room. Glancing at Tarrlok in the shower, she left the room as well. Noatak made his way to the kitchen with a small Korra trailing behind him. He didn't say anything to her as he prepared breakfast.
He knew, and he didn't want to spoil it for her. He wanted her to find out naturally, on her own. He'd talk to Tarrlok about it later, who he knew would also notice before long. Noatak wracked his brain for the information he had learned long ago when he was studying anatomy. He had noticed the blood flow of his young lover was focusing in her lower abdomen the night before, but thought nothing of it. Now, the next morning, he didn't want to accept that he and his brother had impregnated the Avatar.
Korra saw that Noatak was thinking hard about something, but didn't know what it was. She really was beginning to worry, but when he turned to her with a smile and a full plate, it slipped from her mind completely. The food made her recently emptied stomach growl, and she gladly accepted the food from him. Before she began to eat, he lifted her chin and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, which she returned willingly.
It wasn't until after Korra left that Tarrlok emerged from the bedroom.
"She left already? I didn't get a goodbye kiss," He pouted. Noatak shrugged and his brother's whining.
"Maybe you shouldn't take so long in the shower," He joked, clearing Korra's dishes from the bar. Tarrlok's bottom lip jutted out in a dramatic display as he prepared his own plate of food.
"Perhaps that's the solution," He agreed. He noticed that Noatak was preoccupied. "What's on your mind, Noatak?"
"Didn't you feel it?" Noatak asked. He was actually very surprised that Tarrlok hadn't mentioned it.
"Feel what? How much I love both of you wonderful people?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.
"Her blood flow, Tarrlok," He whispered, as if she were across the room. Tarrlok's eyes widened as he shook his head slightly.
"No way," Tarrlok looked down at his hands. "Does she know?"
"Of course not, she's barely along at all," Noatak replied. His brother looked up again, his face scrunched in thought. After a few moments he spoke again.
"When is her bleeding supposed to come?"
"The end of next week," Noatak answered without hesitation. The brothers kept better track of her cycle than she did, and it was good that they did.
"So there's still time," Tarrlok's voice dropped low. Noatak shook his head violently.
"Tarrlok, we are not doing that!" He was offended that his brother would try to take something from the girl they both loved more than life itself. "I'm appalled you would even consider that."
"She wouldn't ever know," His brother responded.
"But we would," Noatak rested his elbows on the surface of the bar and placed his forehead in his hands. Then a thought unveiled itself, causing his head to snap up to glare at Tarrlok. "How many times have you done that?"
"Only once or twice," Tarrlok responded, avoiding his brother's eyes. Noatak lunged across the bar and landed a heavy punch right in his eye. The force caused Tarrlok to tip backwards in his chair and land with a thud on his back on the ground.
"How many times?" Noatak gritted through his teeth. Tarrlok held his now swelling eye as he looked up as his brother. He had never seen his brother this infuriated, even when they were younger.
"Twice, Noatak," He answered calmly. Noatak gripped the collar of his brother's overcoat, getting ready to land another punch on him.
"What's going on here?" Korra's voice rang out in the kitchen, causing both men to look over. Noatak took a deep breath to relax both hands. He stood and walked over to his lover.
"Korra, I'd like to talk to you, in private," Noatak whispered in her ear, shooting a look at Tarrlok, who was brushing himself off. Korra looked between the two men and nodded slowly. The older man gripped her wrist and pulled her towards his study. Once they were inside, he locked the door and pinned Korra against the door. Her heartbeat quickened in anticipation, but he confused her when his right hand pressed flatly against her stomach.
"Noa?" She asked quietly, knowing exactly what he was doing. His eyes were closed, his forehead pressed against hers. He took a shaky breath and opened his eyes to look at her.
"Korra, are you on any contraceptives?" He asked. He wasn't going to reveal immediately what he knew. Korra shook her head.
"No…" She trailed off. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't been on any form of birth control since she and Tarrlok first engaged in sexual relations. She was either very lucky, or very infertile.
"Are your bleedings regular?" His hand moved to her hip, pressing her tighter against the door. She nodded. They had always been regular to her, and always present. Noatak kissed her then, trapping her between his arms. She wasn't sure why he was asking so many questions about her cycle, but she wasn't going to object to this passion. He kissed her deeply, and she returned the kiss until she could taste the saltiness of tears. She broke the kiss and gazed up at her lover, whose eyes were closed with tears streaming. Korra reached up to wipe them away. "I'm so sorry."
"What?" Korra was so confused at why this normally composed man was so unraveled. Noatak began sobbing then, and fell to his knees in front of her, muttering, "I'm so sorry" over and over again. He pressed his forehead into her stomach and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She stroked his hair, trying to calm him down, but the sobbing didn't cease. Finally she slid down to the floor in front of him. "Noatak, what's wrong?"
"Korra," Noatak looked at her with bloodshot eyes. "I'm so sorry," He reached out to stroke her cheek. She leaned her face into his palm, pleading him with her eyes. "It's so wrong, Korra…"
"Noa, I don't know what you're talking about," She said. "Please tell me what has you so upset."
"Korra…" He said her name again, and pulled her into his lap. "Please don't hate me."
"Noa, I don't know how I could hate you," She replied. He kept his head down as he spoke.
"I wanted to let you find out on your own, but Tarrlok never wanted you to find out at all," He began. Korra took his face into her hands and made him look at her. "You're with child," He whispered. "And Tarrlok wants to terminate the pregnancy…"
"What?" The question wasn't because she didn't hear, but because she didn't understand. "What?"
"Korra... I'm sorry…" Noatak repeated again. She looked at his face with wide eyes.
"I thought…" She started. She took a deep breath. "I thought I was infertile…"
"No, Korra," He wrapped his arms around her. "Tarrlok has been preventing your pregnancies."
"Pregnancies?" She looked up at him. "As in plural?" She face drained of any color. "He's been causing me to miscarry?"
"Yes," Noatak whispered the word she didn't want to hear. In the year she'd been with Tarrlok, she never once thought that he would do something like that. So she wasn't lucky.
"How many times?" She asked, not sure if she actually wanted the answer or not. Noatak just shook his head.
"He says twice," He tells her. That hit her hard. She had been pregnant twice in the past, but had not even known it because her boyfriend the blood bender ended them. Korra fell silent, not knowing how to handle the information, or process it.
"Why did you tell me?" She asked after a long moment. Noatak seemed taken aback at her question.
"Because… I love you," He tried to come up with a valid reason. Why did he tell her? Was it because he loved her, or because he wanted to have her to himself? Though, would this news make her not want to be with either of them anymore?
"What do I do..?" Korra asked. Noatak wasn't overly sure how to answer that question. He felt it wasn't his place to tell her to leave Tarrlok, and didn't want to lose her by doing so.
"I don't know, Korra," He replied. "I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you. I wont leave you alone in this."
"I was pregnant with his children twice before…" She trailed off, trying to understand why he had taken that away from her, why he didn't want them. Korra pushed Noatak away from her to stand and leave the room. She walked through the house, unsure.
"Korra…" Tarrlok called from the doorway of the kitchen, fidgeting, as he didn't know what had been said in the study. She didn't acknowledge his existence as she ascended the stairs. The door to their bedroom was locked for the rest of the night, and she refused to let either brother in.
~Is there really a baby in there?
~How did this happen?
~Why weren't they wanted?
Korra asked herself these questions repeatedly as the night went on. The phones rang throughout the day, people asking where she was, why she wasn't where she said she would be. She lay in the bed that she had slept in for over a year as she stared at the canopy.
She wondered what her life had been like if she had been allowed to know of the babies before, what she would've done. She wondered why Tarrlok hadn't told her, or at least hadn't let her find out herself. She never thought about having a baby, or being a mom. She thought she had a few years before she would start a family.
She definitely didn't expect it to happen like this, though. She didn't know how to feel about it. She didn't even know she was pregnant, she didn't know whether to mourn or rejoice them. She wasn't sure of anything.
"You're not going to get hurt," She whispered to her very flat stomach. She was suddenly so grateful that she had met Noatak, because if she hadn't, who knows how long the secret abortions would've gone on. She rubbed her hand over her abdomen thoughtfully. "How am I going to tell anyone?"
She rolled onto her side, trying to hold back the tears.
"What do I do?" She whispered to no one.
The next morning Korra padded barefoot into the kitchen to find some breakfast. She had packed and unpacked over and over again throughout the night, trying to decided if she were going to leave the brothers. She knew that wasn't fair to Noatak, as he had been honest with her from the get-go, but she still didn't know what she was going to do about Tarrlok.
"Korra, you're awake," Tarrlok looked up from the breakfast table, his eyes red from lack of sleep. He stood to approach her, but she held her hand up to keep him away. His shoulders slumped in defeat. "Korra.."
"Don't, Tarrlok," She skirted around the island to the fridge.
"I can explain," he stated. Korra swung around to face him, her nostrils flared and fire in her eyes.
"Then do it! Tell me why you felt the need to kill our unborn children! Because I sure as hell can't figure out the motive," Korra practically screamed at her significant other. "I don't understand why you didn't at least let me know that it had happened, or that I was expecting in the first place."
"Korra, you were still under age when our relationship began," Tarrlok began. "The first time happened within two months of the beginning. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you considering keeping that child, no matter how much I wanted to. The second time wasn't long after that, so close in fact that if you had kept the first one, you would've still been pregnant. I didn't hurt a baby, Korra, I terminated those pregnancies before they grew enough for you to realize they even existed.
"I never intended for you to find out about it either, though I've been regretting those decisions every day since. I just wanted you to live a normal, healthy life, without me screwing it up for you," Tarrlok approached her then. "I swore to myself that I wouldn't interfere again, and if you fell pregnant again, I'd leave it alone, to allow you to make your own decisions."
"Tarrlok, that doesn't excuse that it happened, or that I don't even know if I should mourn them," Korra leaned against the closed fridge.
"I didn't," He said, stopping about three feet in front of her. "But not because they didn't matter to me, only because I knew they weren't yet human."
"How far along was I?"
"The first time only about three days, and the next time about a week," He wanted so badly to hold her. "I tried to align with your cycle, so you wouldn't worry."
"Tarrlok, how could you tell so soon?" Noatak's voice rang out from the doorway.
"I just felt it," Tarrlok responded. Noatak's eyebrows rose.
"That's very odd that you couldn't tell this time then, as Korra's already about sixteen weeks along," The older brother crossed his arms.
"But that would be four months!" Korra gasped. "How did I not know?"
"Because your cycle has been very irregular since I tampered," Tarrlok stated. "You haven't bled for almost as long as we've been together, Korra."
"My cycle wasn't regular in the first place, Tarrlok," Korra said. "But that doesn't mean I can't tell when I'm ovulating or anything."
"When was the last time you ovulated?" Noatak asked. The fact that Korra was so in tune with her body amazed him.
"I thought it was the other day, I felt it," She said. "So even if I wasn't already pregnant, I could've been very easily."
"Could it be that you just felt the baby move?" Noatak asked. "And could it be that you weren't pregnant before in the first place?"
"I felt my child growing inside her, Noatak," Tarrlok said. "I felt it!"
"But it was only a few days before her bleeding. Could it be that you just felt her body getting ready for that?"
"That doesn't make any sense, I can tell the difference between an infant and just blood," Tarrlok defended.
"Then feel Korra," Noatak said, taking long strides across the kitchen. He grabbed Tarrlok's hand and placed it on Korra's abdomen before she could object. "That is an infant, Tarrlok."
The younger brother's jaw went slack as he sensed the child growing in his young partner. Korra squirmed under the touch of the man that claimed he ended her pregnancies.
"That…. Is not what I felt before," He said, letting his hand fall from her. Korra's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Does that mean I wasn't pregnant before?" Korra asked.
"No, Korra, you weren't," Noatak stated. "I've been feeling the changes in your body for a while, but I didn't think anything of it. I've never been around a pregnant woman before, but it's unmistakable once you get far enough along."
"So, I was just helping her cycle along..?" Tarrlok asked. Noatak nodded.
"I did some research, and went to the healing temple to converse with the healers there. They allowed me to feel different stages of pregnancy, and women that were not pregnant at all," Noatak said.
"So this is my first pregnancy, no doubt?" Korra asked.
"Why don't we go see a healer and find out," Noatak put too much faith in the healer's capability. Korra nodded, taking his outstretched hand.
A/N: WOAH TWO PLOT TWISTS IN ONE CHAPTER? What's wrong with me? I hope you enjoyed this, because I definitely didn't, and it was really hard to write. I'm just thankful that Tarrlok isn't as horrible as he and Korra thinks. Please leave reviews, and help me write this further, because I'm starting to get writer's block again. No, korra isn't showing at all yet, though she will start here in a bit. 3