Thankyou for all the reviews and Im so happy that you're all enjoying my story! Chapter 3 took a little longer to type, it's been a very busy 2 weeks for me and my family, then I caught a cold. But Chapter 4 will be up by Tuesday! 3
Santana
She's always been you're sunshine.
For as long as you can remember Brittany has always been the star in your sky, the light for dark days.
You didn't grow up in the best home life; if your dad wasn't out sleeping with other women he was home drinking and trying to control everything. He was a business man, but he was possessive, and threatening. He was mentally abusive, and physically abusive sometimes as well, and you always promised yourself to be nothing like him. He picked fights and pointed out every single one of your flaws. The only attention he gave you was if you acted out in school or brought home bad grade. Other than that you didn't exist to him.
Brittany was your way out. You'd walk the few blocks to her house and she would make you feel special and wanted, she made you feel free. To her you were perfect; she liked your wild black hair and your pouty lips. She liked that you read comic books and didn't play with dolls. She liked everything about you, but if there was something she didn't like she wouldn't make you feel so bad about it. She would make up stories about unicorns and magical beast living on far around islands. She'd always name them Santana… she made you believe that this wasn't going to be your only life.
Santana and Brittany.
Brittany and Santana.
There's never been a single thing the two of you couldn't handle.
/
Her phone has been going off all morning. And every time she just looks at it and sets it down.
"Who's texting you?" She chews on her bottom lip and doesn't look at you. "Brittany." You say a little louder and she sighs,
"Just Aaron." You arch an eyebrow,
"He must have an awful lot to say."
"Just… checking in on us." You don't need him checking in on your wife. Or on your daughter. That's what you're here for.
"Can I see?" You ask, looking through each other's phones had never been a problem before.
"Sure." She hands her iPhone over to you, but she seems unsure. You scroll through the messages but they're basically one sided. He'll send Brittany a flirty text, telling her how cute she in and how he can't wait for their next date. He tells her how he couldn't stop looking at during school and he tries to convince her to let him come over so that they can get to know each other better. And Brittany, being the friendly ass person that she is, sends him 'thanks' with a smiley emoji or a 'maybe later.' But you already know that's all he needs to think he's in good with her. You didn't think your anger would be so visible but as you stand there clenching your jaw and gripping your phone you can't help the feeling to throw it and smash it against the wall. "Santana?" Brittany asks quietly, "We've only been on a few dates…those text are nothing, really-"
"You think a grown ass man calling you beautiful and wanting to spend alone time to get to know you better is nothing?" You ask in disbelief.
"I meant that it means nothing to me."
"You're allowing it to happen so it must mean something to you." Brittany shrugs,
"I might just like the attention… but nothing's going to happen between us." She tries to reassure you. Brittany's much too innocent for anything to happen between her and someone else.
You're the only person she's ever been with.
You set the phone down on the bed and you walk closer to Brittany. You keep walking until you have her pushed against the wall and you bring your hands to her hips. You lean in close to her ear, just grazing the shell of it with your lips. "Santana…" She breathes, "We shouldn't-"
"Shut up," You whisper to her softly, "You're mines-"You growl, "and mines only" You let your tongue run flat against her neck, nipping at it softly. She breathes in deeply, cocking her head towards your face to give you a small kiss on the cheek. "Do you understand?" You ask her and she nods, "Tell me you understand." Your arms run up her back and down to her soft, barely covered ass and she squeaks.
"Yes… I-I understand." You continue to kiss her neck and you can feel her body giving into you.
"You understand what?"
"That I am yours."
"Do you want to be mines?" You pull away just enough to look into her eyes. And you see so much want in them you almost burst.
"Yes," She whispers and you bring her closer. She wraps her arms around your neck and starts to rack her fingers through your loose curls. I'm yours. She repeats softly to you and she pulls you closer. She's warm and welcoming, she humming softy into your ear. You kiss her neck once more, sending chills down her spine as she whimpers.
"Is this enough attention for you?" You mumble and she nods her head,
"Yes…" She breathes.
"Tell me that I'm all you need." You whisper and she does. You're all I want. Its music to your ears, it makes you grow weak in the knee's how much you missed her touch. Your kisses grow urgent, she taste like vanilla and chocolate, she's wearing one of your old college sweatshirts from freshman year. It's a little big but she makes it look so sexy, the way it's hanging off her shoulder and giving you just the right amount of access to everything. You kiss up to the back of her ear and she lets out a shaky breath, then you kiss back down, all the way to her bare shoulder. You can feel her body shake slightly and you can hear her soft, barely audible moans.
Brittany
God.
Have you missed her kisses. You've missed her, you like the way she takes control when she wants you. She's always had this kind of power over you; the kind of power to be able to have her way with you… but you wouldn't have it any other way because she's the only person you'd give yourself to over and over again. Her lips are like fire on your skin, making her mark on you and making you hers. She handles you like you'll break; her touches are soothing and gentle. They make you crumble and give in and it's so hard to tell her no. It feels too good. And when her fingers make there was around to the front of you chest you groan, she's massaging your breast now, rolling your exposed nipples between her thumbs. You've never had a big chest; they're just the right size to fit in the palm of Santana's hands.
She kisses her way up your chin, but then she stops and rests her forehead on yours. You can feel her heart racing; feel the shiver in her bones from being so close to you.
"I love you," she breathes, her eyes closed
"I love you too, Santana," You tell her, "Always," She leans in, catching your lips with hers. It's not an innocent kiss, it's hot and needy. It's so passionate and demanding. Warmth spreads through your body. That fire is back and in full force as she pushes you deeper into the wall. Santana's lips taste like cherry and wine and they fit perfectly with yours.
You want so much more. It's the first time the two of you have kissed in… you don't even remember how long.
Santana is hungry for you, almost like she's been starving without you for the last 3 years and she's finally getting her meal. She kissed you like she was drowning and you were her only source of air.
There's a knock at the door and you know its Manuela. But Santana doesn't move away, she drops her head down to your shoulder and lets her lips linger there. You're breathing is hard and irregular; your heart is beating so fast you think you'll pass out.
"Your daughter is hungry!" Manuela whines,
"We'll be there in a minute, Manny." Santana smiles to your daughter and sends her on her way. Santana turns back to you, that hungry look still in her eyes as she licks her lips, "We should get ready."
/
Santana was wild. Growing up… she was lost, and no one thought much good of her. But you saw past that. You saw her heart and soul, and you saw that when she did love; she loved hard.
Which was how she loved you. Santana was always your knight and shining armor… and you were her Princess. Other times… like when her dad was home and arguing with her mother you were her knight and shining armor and she was your Princess.
The weather had got better; the roads were starting to clear. As much as you didn't want to admit it… you knew that this fantasy world that you and Santana had been living in would soon come to an end. She'd have to go back to work and things will go back to how they were before. Her ignoring you, her never being around, and you feeling like you didn't matter.
/
You had just finished grading papers and doing lesson plans when you got into your bedroom and found a note on the bed.
Dear Brittany,
I know you're fed up with me and work… but I would like to have a talk, about us… about where we stand. I have dinner waiting for you downstairs in the kitchen, Manuela is already sleep and has had her dinner. Please get dressed and meet me at 7ish? Please?
Love Santana,
/
You forgot how beautiful Santana was.
It's not that you actually forgot… it's just that the two of you have had little to no alone time to really look at each other anymore. Sometimes you'd stand outside her office door and watch her work. You would admire the way her hair would sit in a high messy bun, or the way her glasses would sit on the bridge of her nose. You admired the way she typed so fast or how her lips would get pouty if she didn't approve of what she was reading. You liked the way she talked herself through her cases while putting together her arguments and getting her facts straight. But whenever you did that she never looked up once.
She's waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs; she looks nervous but so damn gorgeous. She's wearing a strapless red gown that stops right above her knee's and flares out at her hips. It's matted and gorgeous on her, especially with the way her dark hair cascades over her shoulders in defined curls. The left side is covering her eye, in a swoop like bang while the rest of it forms around her face. Her lips are colored a dark red, matching her dress.
You actually can't breathe right now.
"I can see you read my letter." She says eyeing you down and the white dress you chose to wear. Her hands are behind her back and you know she's fiddling with her fingers.
"I did." She clears her throat not sure what to say. "You look beautiful, Santana." You watch a blush spread across her cheeks as she smiles. "I can't remember the last time I saw you so… dressed up." She licks her lips and gives you a devilish grin,
"You look… exquisite." Her voice is husky when she says that, her eyes are looking you over and it makes you feel uncomfortable in the best way possible.
You missed Santana looking at you like that.
She steps closer to you, so close that your bodies are touching "You look delicious actually." Santana licks the shell of your ear, sucking it into her mouth briefly before letting it go. "Are you ready for dinner?" All you can do is nod because you're not sure how much longer you can deny Santana. On the dinner table there are two plates with Texas toast grilled cheese Sandwiches with a side of Tomato soup and a bowl full of salad. Along with two glasses of wine.
"There wasn't much left in the fridge…" She points out as she pulls your chair out for you and you grin,
"No, it's perfect. Thank you. I love tomato soup."
"I know," She takes a seat next to you and the two of you start to eat. It's quiet between the two of you but you can tell Santana has a lot on her mind; she's trying to put it into words. But when she finally gets them together she clears her throat again, "Brittany… I'm so sorry." You glance up to see tears forming in her eyes, all of the confidence she had earlier has disappeared. "I've been a terrible wife to you,"
"Santana-"
"No, I've been so horrible for the last 3 years." She whispers, "I don't even remember the last time me and you sat down and had dinner together, or went to the movies together, or have even been in the same room together for longer than 10 minutes. Or went on a date or just had a family night. Or had sex or cuddled…By the time I get to bed you and Manuela are already sleep and by the time you get up I'm already gone." Her voice cracks as she speaks to you and you just listen closely. "You have every right to be angry with me, and you have every right to… to not want to be with someone like me…I-I've ignored you and acted unappreciative and ungrateful… I've taken advantage of you so many times. And no marriage should be like that." Santana doesn't look at you, it's like she can't. She's too ashamed. "When I would come home to my office and everything was so clean… it was because you straightened up for me. Or when I would get home late at night and dinner was warm and waiting on me…Or my clothes being clean. And I never once said thank you. I should have said thank you. I should have woken you up with a kiss and said goodnight… something." You're not sure what to say to her, she's right about all of it but you don't want to say that. "So I have been thinking of how we could work this out… if you want to work this out."
"I'm listening."
"I'll quit." You blink a few times, not sure if you heard her correctly.
"W-what?"
"I'll quit my job at the firm." You're not sure if she's being serious. Santana's worked her whole early adult life trying to be a lawyer. You remember her late nights during school. She'd never go out to parties or hang out with friends because she was too busy trying to be the top of her class. And it's paid off. The second year that you two were married was the year she got hired at the firm and the year after that she bought you this huge, beautiful 5 bedroom house. It was your dream house and she only bought it because you loved it so much. You loved the hard wood floors, the cream colored carpet and the large living room and kitchen space. You loved the master bed room with two walk in closets and a full bathroom. You loved all the space you had in the backyard for Manuela to play and the huge tree right in the front.
"Santana… you've worked really hard. I can't ask you do something like that for me… for us- "
"I'd do anything for you… I'd give you the moon and the stars if I could because it's what you deserve." You want to tell Santana that you don't need the moon, that you don't need the stars, you just need her. "You are my world, Brittany. Nothing I have matters if I don't have you. You've always been with me… I don't think I could survive without you in my life." You'd hate to admit it but you wouldn't last long without Santana, either. You've literally been one person since the day you two met in Kindergarten
"Well maybe… you can… not work as hard?" You suggest
Santana chuckles at your words and rolls her eyes,
"I have to work 5 times as hard just to get half the respect that they get." You blink your eyes and ask her,
"What do you mean?"
"You know I'm like… one of the only women in the firm. And no other women that does work there is Partner… it's nothing really. The men there just… talk a lot."
"Talk how?" Santana's never told you any of this before, so you listen closely.
"How I slept my way to the top. They basically tell me that I only win my cases because I've slept with the judges and the jury and…" She licks her lips, "My boss actually called me into his office last year and told me my attire was distracting to the men at the firm." She laughs sarcastically, "Like I wore leather crop tops and miniskirts to the office." She plays with her tomato soup. "He told me not to wear skirts anymore. It's so fucking complicated, Britt. If I wear a skirt then I'm giving them 'easy access' but if I wear pants I'm putting my ass on display. If I wear a button down then my breast are distracting them from handling their cases." She shakes her head, "And they always have some… joke about my body or my sexuality- Jesus, they had a field day when they found out I was a lesbian."
"Oh, Santana…w-why didn't you tell me any of this before."
"I didn't want you to worry."
"But it's sexual harassment."
"You'd be surprised at how common that is in any office setting-"
"It's a terrible thing for you to be subjected to!"
"I'm fine, I just…"
"Has this been going on since you started working at the firm?"
"Yeah… about 5 years." You can't say anything because you're too upset now. "I must have gotten lost while trying to prove to them that I'm not some office slut and forgot about us, Brittany." She turns to you, taking your hand in hers. "I never want you to think that I don't love you… I love you more than anything on this earth." You nod your head, you love her too. "I'm sorry if I haven't shown that to you… I'm sorry if I let you forget that I do love you and I shouldn't have let my job get in the way of our marriage."
"You're right, you shouldn't." You tell her, "Santana… I don't think anything will change."
"But it will!"
"No, it won't… you can't just make yourself stop working…And I don't want to force you to do anything-"
"Brittany-"
"This is too much." You whisper. "I think you only want me because you're jealous of Aaron and you don't like the idea of me being with anyone else. You don't like the idea of anyone stepping in and doing what you haven't been doing for years. I think I've waited long enough… I've been patient long enough. And I love you Santana… more than you'll ever know… more than I can express… but I love myself too. I think you only miss me when it's convenient for you… other than that you don't think about me at all. You don't treat me like a wife… you barely treat me like your best friend anymore. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night because I'm not sure if we matter to you- If I matter to you-"
"Of course Manuela and you matter to me-"
"How do I know that?"
"Because everything I do-"
"You do it for yourself. You do it for your own comfort, Santana. I'm sorry about what happens in your office and how they treat you but… it doesn't change how I feel. None of this changes how it feels…"
"Brittany… I thought-"
"I am yours, forever and always, Santana you know that. The only time you acknowledge that I am yours is when it's sexual… But… I don't think that… I don't think you're mines." Santana is at a loss for words, you can tell. Her eyes are tearing up. "I think… I think you should leave."
/
You miss her more than your words could express. When she left she was mad.
So mad.
There were flames in her eyes when she threw her spoon down, and her face turned red. She slammed her car door and sped out of the driveway. She didn't say goodbye and she didn't give you a hug, and you cried afterwards. You cried because you hurt the one person that you've ever loved… you hurt Santana and that tears you apart.
But you had to do it.
If you would have taken her back after 2 and ½ days what would that have proved? It would have proved how weak and naive you were. How attached to her you are. It would have proven that Santana could treat you how ever she wanted and still get her way in the end… could still get her prize.
You.
You asked her to leave because you knew that if she stayed- if she stayed one more night you wouldn't have made it. You wouldn't have been able to tell her no one more time; you wouldn't have been able to resist her. You would have given yourself to her willingly and completely and you would have enjoyed every second of her lips on your bare skin and her tongue on your most sensitive areas. You would have loved the way she whispered everything you wanted to hear so close to your ear that it gave you chills. You would have loved the way she pinned you down and made you hers. You would have forgiven her because you'll always forgive Santana. No matter what.
If she would have stayed one more night… You would have taken her back in one breath.
You would have taken her back and Manuela would have both of her parents in her life again living in the same home… but it wouldn't have been happy.
Everything would just stay the same.
You want her to know it won't be that easy… that you're not that easy. That even though her kisses are nice, and taste like a forbidden wine, and leave you hyperventilating…they're not good enough. Not them alone anyway.
But you still have to call her. And you're surprised when she answers.
"Hello?" Her voice is unreadable,
"I'm guessing you got home okay?"
"I'm fine." Santana says. "How are you?" Her voice was so raspy and hurt, you could hear it all. And it only made you want to hold her, made you want to kiss her pain away.
"I'm fine." You say sweetly. "Manuela will probably have school in the morning… and I know she'll ask a thousand questions about you. Maybe you could take her?" It's like a peace offering… that even if you're currently separated Manuela is still her's and you would never stop them from spending time together. There's a long pause on the other end,
"What time?"
"She needs to be there by 8."
"I'll be there at 7:30"She says flatly.
"Okay." There's a long, silent pause on the phone. She's holding something back and so are you.
"Okay," There's another pause before you hear, "Good-bye, Brittany."