Week 1: Business
Roman Torchwick was bored.
A common theme, really, since the duo of diabetes and that damned... damnit. There's no proper fairy word that starts with a "D".
That thought alone should provide enough insight to how painstakingly bored the master thief was. And, as stated before, the reason for this is none other than the moronic pair of Recette and Tear. As much fun as it'd be to think up of other fairy tale fairies to insult Tinkerbell with, Roman Torchwick had better things to do.
At least, he hoped he did. He honestly did not want to spend his waking moments attempting to come up with half-hearted insults for something he could just as easily squish with a fly-swatter. Maybe he should risk trying to pay attention to what the two store owners were up to?
And yes, two. Roman absolutely refuses to have any part in this business venture; Not only was it doomed to fail, it was doomed to fail by exploding head-first into a poorly planned White Fang raid that involved a lot of cleavers and a lot more security airship fleets. Or robots.
Ah, how he missed those animals. Wonder what they're up to now?
"Very well. It is time to give you a 'crash course' on the basics of running an item shop." Of course, Roman's musings were interrupted by the stern voice of a certain annoying fairy. Then again, if he was stuck reminiscing about White Fang of all things, that only meant one of two things: That he was going senile, or that he was bored.
"Okay! What do I do first?"
A chipper voice gleefully reminded him the benefits of waning cognitive thought, but the master criminal decided against doing any permanent damage for now. Instead, he straightened himself up, no longer leaning against a wooden support pillar as he stared at the two.
"First, we need to put some items on display."
They were really doing this, weren't they? The kid and the fairy had freaking smiles plastered on their face, too. No one in the group was being sarcastic or willfully ignorant, and this just drove the man to tears. Figurative tears, of course; Roman wasn't going to waste his time crying over two morons. Two morons that had to spell out the obvious.
"If we do not have our goods out for people to see, we can hardly expect the customers to buy them, after all!" Floating Moron A cheerfully reminded the kid how simple logic worked.
You know, maybe Roman was looking at this the wrong way. He knew firsthand that adapting to society wasn't always a smooth transition. Maybe fairies were just so utterly literal that they had to-
"So I just need to get near these counters?"
Or maybe dealing with Recette was just a special case. On one hand, Roman recognized that the little brunette brat was only twelve, and probably couldn't understand basic concepts like cause-and-effect, math, or gravity. Yet, on the other hand, this was the exact same kid that he had been told at laser-gunpoint—long story—to help squeeze some money from. It was the fairy's bright idea to turn this house into an item store, one which eluded the thief to this day. Roman shot a glare to the fairy, as if willing her to give him an answer.
Tear, for the most part, ignored him as she continued with her explanation. "Just so. Once you know where you wish to place something, choose what you wish to place in that spot by pressing the "primary" button."
... The what now?
"Primary... button?..."
Okay, judging by the fact that the kid had no idea what a primary button is, we can safely say that Tear's gone insane. What's the average shelf life for fairy brains, anyways? Regardless, that was the criminal's cue to stop paying attention. Roman instead turned his gaze to the knife he had pilfered from the Merchant's Guild. Honestly, it wasn't that bad of a tool. It was called a craftsman's knife, and for good reason, as there were all sorts of crafts the criminal could think of that'd make use of this blade.
Sure, most of them involved breaking and entering, but that was just his personal biases. There were plenty of other uses for a solid blade. He just didn't have the energy for figuring that out today.
Besides, what self-respecting mastermind would take up woodworking? Granted, he had put together Melodic Cudgel... Most of it, at any rate. The parts he didn't steal? Either way, Roman was relatively good with his hands, and if this little lecture was any indication, he'd have plenty of time to waste in this stupid world.
By now, the ditz of a kid was putting the various scraps of stuff in the counters. She was just about to place a hat by the window counter when the fairy chimed in once more.
"Recette. may I speak with you for a moment?" Tear had a serious look on her face, but by now, Roman was convinced that she had some stupid bit of trivia that should've been common sense.
"Sure. What is it?"
At the same time, the brunette child had that annoying expression plastered on her face that was completely devoid of all understanding. This was going to be one of those explanations, wasn't it?
"Those counters by the window..."
The criminal prayed for that impossible: That she wasn't going to say something absurdly obvious, like 'people can see through those windows'. Of course, like everything else so far, his hopes and dreams were dashed in an instant, as the blue fairy spoke continued.
"Items you place there are visible to anyone passing by on the street. As such, putting 'eye-catching' items..." And there she goes, off on another little tangent about another trivial matter.
The way the fairy seemed so sure of herself when making that lecture was almost heartening. Well, heartening for others, of course. Roman himself just felt exhausted by the constant repeating lectures of stuff that should really be obvious.
He was also getting tired of his own mind complaining about these matters, which spoke volumes about how bored he was. Wasn't there something he could do? Maybe he'd take up a hobby. Something that involved that knife.
"...So choose what to place there very, very carefully."
"Wow, I never thought about it like that..."
Of course you didn't, brat. You're twelve. The criminal was tempted to reclassify the kid as a ten year old, but decided against it, since she still at least tried to-
"Hokai! I'll be careful!"
... Very tempted. He needed a cigar.
"Alright. That should do for displaying our wares."
Sounds like the kid was finally done. Roman sighed and looked down on his watch, before realizing that he didn't wear a watch anymore. Instead, he took out his Scroll, his eyes fixed on the glowing display. As usual, there was no signal, but since this place somehow had electricity despite being a backwater town, he still had something useful. And judging by his tablet, they had spent a good half hour laying things out. And re-laying things out.
That little ball of annoyance sure was indecisive.
"...Are you sure it doesn't look dumb? I..."
"Do not worry. Everything looks good enough for a first attempt." Tear gave the little girl a reassuring smile, before returning to her 'lecture mode' expression. "Now I need to teach you how to actually sell things. Please go sit at the counter. Roman, please accompany her."
"Right-o!"
"As you wish, fearless leader." Sarcasm was his only reprieve now. There was nothing else to keep his sanity intact, and he resigned himself to his fate.
Recette quickly darted over behind the counters, her arms splayed out as she sprinted like a child. It really was an odd contrast from the fairy, and one of the many reasons why Roman couldn't look at this as anything but a babysitting job.
Which didn't make it better.
"Well then, the items are in place, and now you need to learn how to actually sell things to people without embarrassing yourself!"
Was it just him, or was the fairy getting sick and tired of Recette's antics as well? Roman shot a curious glance at Tear, who ignored him as always.
"O-kai-o!"
And, like always, Recetted butchered the local language. That was identical to theirs. Both in writing and in speech. Another thing to go on the pile of stuff Roman didn't have time to care about.
"So, to start with, I will lecture on the actual process of selling an item we have displayed."
"Yes, professor!"
Another lecture for Roman to tune out. However, he didn't even have the luxury of looking at his stolen weapon this time, as the little fairy would be sure to call him out.
"Er, um, uh, ah..."
"What they want will be in the 'target' window. You will also be able to see the name and base price. Pay close attention to that base price! Also, if you press button 3, you can view expanded information on the item in question. Consult the ' ' program included with Recettear if you wish to check or alter your button configuration."
"Wait... 'Button 3'? ' '?"
"Focus, Recette. Your life is hard enough to control as it is."
See, on one hand, Roman was confused about the button and program bits. But on the other hand, he was equally confused by the fact that Recette wasn't confused about the 'target' window things. She wasn't questioning how she was able to see the name and base price of an item, which in and of itself was something absurdly weird. On multiple levels.
Was this this place's equivalent to semblances? The magical ability to see market prices? The criminal took back everything he said about the brat, if this was actually true.
Granted, whether or not it was actually true was another matter entirely. Given what he's seen of Recette so far, Roman just wasn't sure whether this was an actual trait, or just the kid missing an unfamiliar term because three more popped up.
In fact, he was about to go with that second explanation when he heard Tinkerbell wrapping up her lecture, as she rambled out some final conclusion about haggling and customer interaction.
"...Well. Time to put theory into practice."
"Uhm, okay!"
The next moment was ... eye-opening for Roman. Tear took out a steel broadsword. He wasn't quite sure from where, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Recette hadn't seen the item before, and shouldn't have really known what its name and price were. Yet, the little girl only took a few moments to glance at the item, before spouting out some price. 3650 Pix? Was that right?
Judging by the expression that the fairy gave, Recette's suggested price was spot on. This happened a few more times, as the Fairy took out a few more blades, each different from the last. And each time she asked for a price, the little brat gave out the properly appraised value.
Roman missed the rest of the conversation. This had... implications. He wasn't too sure what, yet. Hell, he had no idea whether it was even a fluke or not, but it was becoming increasingly unlikely.
"We still have a little bit of time left today, so let us go ahead and open the store proper. If anyone comes in, simply handle them in the same way we practiced." Tear's words broke the man out of his thoughts. Partially. He was very resilient when it came to thinking up plans, and months of having to deal with a bored Neo meant he had a fairly high environmental tolerance.
"Whoa. Are you sure it'll be okay?" On the other hand, Neo never talked. Which was a good thing, because if she did, and she had the same annoying voice as Recette, Roman would've retired long ago.
"Do not worry. As the saying goes, salesmanship is more of an art than it is a science. You'll learn as you go. Now then, I will open us up. Go on and sit at the counter."
"Okey-day!"
Welp, that settled it. Whatever plan he was trying to think of went up in a puff of diabetic smoke. Still, he had to put on appearances, and since the fairy was finally opening the shop, Roman brushed the dust off of his suit. Within moments, the first customer entered, an older woman who accepted Recette's ear-piercing greeting with a smile.
The woman quickly walking around the room for a bit before picking up the walnut bread from earlier. Roman's face was impassive as he contemplated the consequences of storing baked goods out in the open like that.
"This, please."
"Okay!"
The exchange itself was swift, as Recette quickly spouted out some price. Again, Roman had no clue what the market value for freshly baked gift-bread was, but apparently the girl knew, as she beamed with delight at the sale.
"Glee! I sold Walnut Bread for 120pix!"
No other customers came in that day, but that didn't seem to put a damper on the girl's enthusiasm. She was all chipper and... wait. No, she's silent. This caused Torchwick to raise an eyebrow, since that little ball of annoyance rarely stood still for more than a few moments.
"Congratulations. You did well."
"... I sold stuff." Recette's voice was quiet, as if in complete awe of her "I - me. Recette - I sold stuff. Like, to people."
There was a moment of silence.
"Hey, Tear?" The kid's beady eyes shot up to her fairy companion, her voice quivering as her vision shot from Tear to the criminal. "I... I'm so happy! I... I did it! Tear! Roman! I did it!" Her joy was palpable. And sickening. Hopefully it didn't get on his clothes.
But even Roman couldn't snap at the girl, as she continued cheering. Honestly, this was too much for the man, and the only thing the coated criminal could do was to let out a sigh, as he made his out the door. After all, the fairy was distracted enough that he'd be able to sneak a quick smoke break outside, right? Maybe even cause some mischief and-
"Papa... I did it!..." Those last words were muted, but even if he was halfway out the door, a man like Roman could hear them perfectly.
Maybe he'd hold off on the mayhem for today.