The harm was already done, and for more that Triss tried to change the subject and light up the mood, it was useless. The auburn haired sorceress held a unintentional monologue, to which Geralt just smiled, however, Yennefer knew it was only out of politeness. Finally, after a while Triss, probably noticing the awkwardness of the situation, gave up and excused herself for the night. Yennefer and Geralt remained sitting silently in the kitchen next to each other.

"Can we talk and make this ridiculous thing that is going on disappear?" said Yennefer irritated waving her hands between them.

"I do not know, can we? You are the one keeping the secrets, Yen." He shrugged and drank a large gulp of vodka.

"Geralt, please, do not play the role of the offended maiden, it does not suite you."

"Once you asked me to trust you, and I did, despite everything."

"You are exaggerating!"

"I wish you had told me sooner what you wanted," he ignored her, speaking with a low emotionless voice. "However, sincerity is not something I can ask you, not to you. Since I first met you, you always had second intentions, always following a secret agenda. I'm not one of your schemes, Yennefer. I was a fool to believe something else…"

"You want me to be honest? I'll be honest!" She growled furiously getting up and pushing the glasses off the table, they shattered loudly on the kitchen stone floor. "When you asked you damn last wish you did not take in consideration my role on it. You did not ask me if I wanted to be part of it. You never bother with the consequences. It was my right to at least discover if what you made could be undone."

"It was the only way to save your life, Yen!"

"I do not remember asking to being saved," she said harshly.

"I'll redeem myself then. I'll help you break the spell," he said holding her violet gaze.

"There is nothing we can do now, witcher."

He looked at her intensely, she figured he was trying to decide if she was lying or not, which made her even more furious.

"I've never lied to you Geralt," she lowered her voice - "the djinn spell is practically unbreakable."

"But not completely."

"Not completely? I'll rephrase myself to facilitate it for you," she said annoyed, "it is virtually impossible to break."

"Then I'm sorry you are stuck with me," he said maintaining the emotionless tone.

"How little you understand." She grunted.

"But now I understand a little more about you, thank you."

"I despise when you use that sarcastic tone."

They looked at each other in silence for a while, until Yennefer could not stand it anymore.

"Geralt, let us go to bed. This discussion is pointless," she sighed, holding her hand out for him.

He took her hand, getting up.

"Yen."

"No, Geralt. It does not make sense to go on," she said interrupting him. "Let us just go to bed."

He leaned in and kissed her lips a little too roughly. He lifted her up, sitting her on the kitchen table. They kissed hungrily, both still slightly angry from their fight. It took them a long while to go to their bed.

The effects of their sweet reconciliation did not last long, and the fight repeated itself many times thought the next weeks, until Yennefer could not stand it anymore and found an excuse to leave for a few days. Perhaps some distance would help them both clear their heads, she concluded.

She felt bad that Triss had to witness their fights and then was left unattended by her. Yennefer knew she was being a bad host, but she was sure the younger sorceress was going to understand. Moreover, Triss and Geralt seemed to get along very well, he could keep her company and maybe he could distract himself and forget about their fights.

Yennefer fled to Aretuza where she was supposed to meet with Tissaia, however, due her quarrels with the witcher, she had come several days too early and the archmage was still away, busy with her tasks for the Chapter. Fortunately, her good friend Margarita Laux-Antille had replaced Tissaia as the headmaster of the sorceress' school, so Yennefer decided to stay and wait at the palace.

"Monogamy is an illusion, Yennefer," said Margarita one warm summer night. She stretched her long legs, leaning into the cushions, her golden locks falling back graciously.

"Oh no, are you getting philosophical, Rita?" Snorted Yennefer, sitting next to her.

"Only because I see that you need it, honey," the beautiful blonde sorceress said. "You know men invented monogamy and it was only because they needed to make sure their heirs were really theirs, poor fools. Monogamy does not make sense for women, because obviously a mother would always recognize her offspring. And for the same reason it makes even less sense for us sorceress."

"What do you suggest, Rita? That I should lay with as many men as I can?" said Yennefer amused.

"As many as you wish. Look at me, I'm here contented and satisfied while you are furious and frustrated. Come on Yenna, you have to admit I'm right," Rita smiled mischievously.

"Who am I to argue against your flawless logic."

"I'm just saying you should give it try. Once you satisfy your physical needs without the interference of all the other superficial demands and futile obligations, you will have more time and energy for more important things."

"Oh that has "Tissaia" written all over, if she had other physical needs than organize and tidy up everything, that is." giggled Yennefer.

"Of course darling, it was me the one who always took our adorable mentor's lessons to the heart, or in this case, I just adapted one of them. You never really appreciated Tissaia's wisdom in this matter: Phil was too rebellious and you were always making these bizarre choices. It always have been like that."

"Excuse me? Bizarre choices?" said Yennefer raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, honey." Margarita fluttered her long eyelashes, using the same tender tone she would use with a novice confusing the hand gestures of two different spells. "Your choices of men, for instance, and how weirdly attached you get to them. How long has lasted that thing with Istredd? And now that witcher?"

"Can't we change the subject? I fear we are heading back to the monogamy matter," snorted Yennefer, provoking a beautiful laugh from Margarita.

"Yes we are, Yenna, but only because I want to share my experience with you. Either you commit to this… relationship or you don't, you cannot do both."

"I'm not doing both things…"

"Oh yes you are, honey. You and the witcher are playing the married couple, living together and so on." Rita winced and continued, "But you do not talk. You argue and have sex to stop arguing and never really address what started the fight on the first place."

Yennefer sighed loudly in response so Margarita continued.

"I'm only telling you this because I do not want you to get hurt." The blonde sorceress smiled kindly, "You have to make up your mind."

The silence of the library interrupted rhythmically by the soft sound of pages being turned over, as Yennefer browsed the old book she had chosen absently, her thoughts somewhere else. She had been in Aretuza for almost two weeks now, she needed the time to make up her mind, as Rita had said. Yennefer hated to admit it, but her friend was right. However, Rita did not know how difficult it was for her, she was never good showing emotions let alone talk about them. Could be from her loveless upbringing, Tissaia's strict education or even for the lack of need when she was with Val, as he read her as an open book…

"Lady Yennefer?" whispered a petite novice shaking her out of her thoughts."You have got a message."

The girl placed a small piece of folded parchment in front of her and left after a quick bow.

Lady Yennefer,

As I told you, everything leaves a trace behind. I followed the trail you have asked me and it led *temporarily* to Evallfen by the Braa.

Your friend,

C.

Yennefer stared at the impeccable calligraphy for a while, pleased with the efficiency of Coedringehr. She smiled triumphantly as she always did when her thoughts organized, forming a plan of actions. For her, actions had always been much simpler than words.

Evallfen was a very small settlement by the Braa river. She was not surprised, as its elvish name indicated, the small town was completely dedicated to breed horses. She approached a young woman who was tending the damp clothes on a line. She was startled when she saw Yennefer, the sorceress' appearance clashed severely with the bucolic surroundings.

"Excuse me, could you please point me out the direction of village's sorceress?" Yennefer asked as gently as she could.

"So-sorceress? Nah ma'am, theres no sorceress in here," said the woman nervously.

"The village's healer, then," guessed the sorceress maintaining a friendly tone, even though she was starting to get annoyed.

Yennefer saw the change on the woman's eyes as she looked at her suspiciously now.

"There is no healer in Evallfen. When we get sick, we drink mare's milk and we wait for it to go away or to die."

"You are lying," said Yennefer with a soft voice moving her fingers delicately conjuring a spell. "Lying to a sorceress is a very bad idea, my dear. But I feel generous today and I'll let you make it up for me showing me where Visenna is."

"Yes, madam," said the woman suddenly standing oddly straight and letting the clothes she was holding fall to the dirty ground. She walked past Yennefer, who followed her closely. The woman passed the houses of the village and walked towards the golden hayfields. By the edge of the forest sat a small cabin covered with ivy.

"Thank you for your kindness, now please return to your chores and forget everything about me," Yennefer whispered and stroked the woman's forehead very gently. The woman nodded and turned around, not looking back.

The raven haired sorceress knocked softly on the door and waited patiently. She could hear movements inside the house.

The door flung open revealing a petite woman with copper colored locks held back by a snakeskin band. Her green eyes were wide by surprise when she saw Yennefer, probably identifying her immediately as a sorceress.

So maybe Geralt's eyes were green. Was he a redhead, too? I'd love to see that." Yennefer thought observing the woman.

Visenna tried to close the door but Yennefer held it wide open with a quick spell.

"Well, well… took the Chapter long enough to find me. What do you want?"

"I'm not here in the behalf of the Chapter, Visenna. If the Chapter were to worry about every deserter mage, there would not be time for much more, and you know very well that we do have great amount of time, and I'm here because I wish some of yours."

"What do you want?" Snarled Visenna defensively.

"I just want to talk," said Yennefer with the friendlier tone she could muster. She walked in the humble hut, closing the door behind her.

"Can I at least know who is disturbing my peace?" Visenna said crossing her arms in the same way Geralt did when he was irritated.

"Oh forgive my manners… I'm Yennefer of Vengerberg."

"There is no need to introduce myself, whereas you seem to know perfectly who I'm. I am going to ask for the last time, because I'm not satisfied with your answer: what do you want, Yennefer of Vengerberg?"

"Let us go directly to the matter then, I also prefer it this way. I'm here to ask you about your pregnancy, Visenna."

"How..?" The red haired sorceress was surprised. Her expression gave away that she had not visited that matter in a long time.

"It is not important how I know."

Visenna observed her for a while, puzzled.

"Do you know him… my son?" The last words sounded as she had said them for the first time.

"I do," said Yennefer, suddenly changing her plan of letting Geralt out of the conversation.

"Did he send you?"

"No. He doesn't even knew I was looking for you," Visenna turned around and silently, she putted away the flasks and vials that were scattered on the rustic counter. After a long silence, Yennefer could see that she lowered her shoulders like she just had lost a battle against herself.

"How is he?"

"He is alive, for much that it seems he has been trying to change that, you know, witchers…" smiled Yennefer and saw that the Visenna did not reciprocate when she turned around. Yennefer decided to answer her question differently, "Visenna, your son is a wonderful man, the best one I have ever met…"

"Are you in love with him, Yennefer?"

Yennefer looked into Visenna's green eyes, surprised with the question and with her own answer

"Yes. I think I'm."

"Yennefer," said Visenna touching her arm softly, "You know it never ends well for us…"

The raven haired sorceress bit her lip and looked down, "I know."

"Our lives are so long yet so empty," said Visenna looking at her while embracing herself. "We can find comfort fooling ourselves assuming that everything will last forever… and then death comes to take what is more precious to us… doesn't matter how hard we fight and how much we wish them to stay, death is relentless. We are convicted remain alone, prisoners forever of what had been. We remain forever prisoners of what is long gone and will never come back."

Yennefer observed her in silence, feeling the pain in her words.

"Why are you really here, Yennefer?"

"I want to fight the emptiness I feel," confessed her, both to Visenna and to herself. "I want to take back the chance that was stolen from me when I became… this."

"I can't give you that and neither can my son… Geralt…"

"I just want to know, Visenna… how it happen? How it was possible?"

Visenna observed Yennefer carefully. "I wondered for a really long time how it happened. Why to me? What had I done differently? But I do not have those answers. I'm sorry."

Yennefer felt the honestly emanating from her and she dared to ask further.

"Why did you leave him with the witchers?"

"Yennefer… I saw the love of my life die in my arms. With his last strength he clung into me, into our unborn son. My beloved died in my arms and there was nothing I could do to help him. Nothing. Everything I had learned during my whole life with the mages and the druids, it was all useless. All this power and knowledge could not save him."

Visenna voice shook and she sighed loudly before continuing.

"When Geralt was born… when he opened his eyes for the first time…They had the exact same blue eyes. I could not look at my son without seeing his father, who I had failed to save, who died in my arms. I could not look at my son without wanting to die myself, Yennefer. That is the horrible truth."

Yennefer could not find words to undo the knot she felt on her throat.

"I cannot face Geralt, I do not think I'll ever be able to. What I did to him… I should have been stronger, but I was not. I'm not. I'm terrified to collect the hate I earned from him when I abandoned him. I do not expect nor want you to understand me."

"Visenna, I… " Yennefer cleared her throat, "You did what you thought was the best for you and for him."

"At least this encounter with you will bring a small grain of peace to my mind. To know that he is alive and well, and not alone." Visenna sighed and seemed to hesitate for a while. "Yennefer, please take care of him. Not for me, because I gave up of that right long ago, but because of him."

"I have nothing for you, Yennefer. I'm sorry I could not help you, I'll pray that you find a way to fulfill the emptiness that is haunting you."

Yennefer nodded feeling that the knot on her throat had grown to the point where if she tried to speak, everything would fall apart. She would never tell Geralt about her encounter with Visenna. She did not have the right to interfere.

When she arrived to her house in Vengerberg it was almost midnight. She climbed the wooden stairs quietly, the only sound was the clicking of her high heels on the steps. Yennefer lighted a small oil lamp and sat at her vanity table. She saw in the reflection of the mirror that Geralt was already in bed. She removed her diamond earrings and careful to not make a sound, she took off her shoes. Absently, she proceed with her nocturnal beauty rituals, their routine brought her the comfort she much needed.

Quietly, she laid next to the witcher, she did not want to awake him up. She was not ready to even look at him after her talk with Visenna. She felt guilt, wondering if she had gone too far, if she had meddle too deep into that subject, which did not concern her at all. She had failed her personal mission but she had learned so much. Too much.

The sorceress could not sleep, the words of Visenna kept reverberating on her head. She spent many hours considering every word they had exchanged. She pitied Geralt's mother for the decision life had forced on her and could not even begin to wonder what she would do on her place. She could not sleep but did not rise from bed or moved too much. She did not want to awake the witcher, she did not want to see his catlike eyes, so instead she focused on his strong heartbeat, pretending to be asleep.

She did not realized that next to her, Geralt also pretended to be asleep.

"Thank you for your hospitality," said Triss with a sheepishly smile that did not reach her eyes, "I have to return to Vizima. King Foltest has summoned me."

"I'm sorry I was gone for so many days. What kind of hostess am I?"

"Please, do not worry Yenna. I had time to read cheesy novels and rest my head from the court drama. But I must to return now. Please come visit me next time you are in Vizima."

The young sorceress climbed her grey mare and left, looking back once. Not at Yennefer, however.

Yennefer spent the rest of the day on her office, with the pitiful goal to hide from Geralt. It was easy to avoid the witcher that day as he had been gone most of it.

He only arrived when the night had already fell and Yennefer had already decided that her cowardice fueled by the guilt was too pathetic.

"Where were you the whole day?" asked Yennefer using an unemotional tone while she combed her hair delicately. She observed his reflection on the mirror.

"I was tending Roach," he said without looking at her.

"You know there are people who get paid to take care of our horses."

"Yes," Geralt said clearly uncomfortable, "But it was not only her that needed stretch the legs."

"Triss left today, she was summoned back to Vizima."

"Hm."

She laid next to him, nestling herself on his arms. He caressed her hair absently, which felt strange. She looked up at him and saw that he observed the ceiling, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Curious, she glanced his thoughts that came to her like through a haze. She saw porcelain skin contrasting harshly against his scarred own. She saw cornflower blue eyes shining with a predatory flame and delicate lips, reddened by kisses, slightly parted.

Was it a dream? A memory?

She did not react even though jealously was crushing her. She was perversely curious.

Yennefer saw in his thoughts a cascade of auburn waves falling graciously over him. A feeling grew intensely, burning his thoughts. A statuesque figure leaned over, while the shapely curves of the woman's body rose and fell rhythmically following an agitated breathing. A soft moan.

She finally identified the feeling that soaked his hazy thoughts. It was guilt.

Despite her decision in Aretuza to try to make everything clear with Geralt, she could not bring herself to do it. She did not brought up his thoughts she had listened many nights ago or her conversation with Visenna, which she wished nothing more than forget.

She still wondered although, the nature of Geralt's thoughts for they felt different. She was mostly scared to find out they were not memories of a dream, but something else. The jealously hurt her almost to the physical level but she did not know what to do with it. As result, she had been treating him coldly. Which only added more guilt to what she was already feeling.

When Yennefer opened her eyes, she saw bothered that her bedroom was in complete darkness. She did not feel comfortable sleeping in the dark. She turned around and saw that Geralt was not in the bed with her. The sheets on the place where he was supposed to be were cold, it could only mean that he had left hours ago. She did not remember him mentioning a contract or something alike, but it was also not the first time the witcher had left before the sunrise. He probably felt caged again.

Yennefer sighed loudly.

Feeling awake, she realize that behind the thick blinds that covered the windows, it was already morning. She was not ready to get up yet, but she could not fall back asleep in the dark. Bothered, she sat down and casted a simple spell to light up the oil lamp on her nightstand.

The sorceress was about to lay back to try to fall back asleep when she realized that the soft yellow light from the lamp was illuminating a small posy of violets laid on top of a folded parchment. Curious, she picked up the piece of paper and read the words on it and they crushed her heart.

All the hurtful memories resurfaced painfully, she had been able to bury them deep inside her brain during those four long years since the day he left her house of Vengerberg.

All the sorrow that he had brought her ached more intensely than the physical pain she was feeling on her burned ankles. For all these years, she had tried to let go of him, but never was able to. Not even all the hate and anger that she felt drowning her for so long were able to overpower what she really felt about him. It was not rational nor could explained. Which only made her more furious.

She was always careful, trying to not run into Geralt, she could easily track him down magically, thanks to the connection they still shared. She would do it every time she heard rumors of his death.

She believed she could cheat on destiny that due to his foolish last wish, bonded them forever.

However, this time she made a mistake. The one time she was careless, when she thought she had no reason to worry, he came to her.

The Chapter had assigned her a task to deal with a minor king chasing a dragon. The possibility of a loot containing a great amount of gems concerned the Chapter, as part of their long relationship with the guilds of jewelers, who paid richly in exchange of protection. Yennefer complied quickly, not thinking too much about it. For once, she did not worry about meeting Geralt there, as she knew witchers did not hunt dragons. She had made a mistake.

Yennefer thought he would not look for her, after all was he who left before the dawn without even a farewell.

She sighed loudly, fighting back the tears brought by her thoughts and memories. She held him tighter instinctively, as they rode the mountain roads of Caingorn. She was not ready to be so close to him, it was too soon. However, they had no option as her horse had fled after the rockslide. The kiss he had gave her was also too soon.

Despite all the things he had done, after all these years, he had come to her, and that made her furious. She tried with all her strengths to treat him with indifference, not giving him the pleasure to know that he still had any effect on her. Her efforts, however, did not last long.

They saw each other for the first time in four years in the company that followed king Niedamir to hunt the dragon. Soon afterwards, Geralt had followed her into the woods, away from the camp. When she saw his catlike eyes on the dim light and heard his powerful slow heartbeat, all her resolution faded away.

Then he had the petulancy of calling her Yen, nobody but him did, and just the vocalization of his nickname for her brought her too many painful memories. She snapped at him, pushing him away.

What scared her the most was that after all those long four years they had been a part, since the day that he had left her, he was still able to awake feelings in her other than anger. She was furious not only with him, but with herself too.

She was not ready to forgive him, she could not forget what he had done to her. However, when they both almost died by the hands of the dragon hunters, something snapped inside of her and all the anger she felt was gone. It felt meaningless.

The sadness fueled by the memories, quickly took the anger's place, establishing itself firmly in her heart together with his premature kiss.

They rode in a calm pace thought the snaky mountain road, the sun was already hiding behind the tall snowy peaks that surrounded them. He had been his quiet self, Yennefer remembered very well. Her witcher was never too wordy. Four years ago, when she could not stand his silence anymore, she filled it with his thoughts. However, she did not dare to read his mind this time, too afraid of what she might find.

After all these years and everything that had happen between them, she still felt drawn to him, with a force many times stronger than her. Perhaps she always knew, that is why, unconsciously she had done everything on her power to avoid him.

The golden dragon offered the only possible explanation: they were meant for each other. Perhaps even before the spell of the Djinn had fallen upon them, they were destined to be together and there was nothing she could do to undo the bond between them.

She took a deep breath and embraced her witcher tighter. As response he squeezed her hand softly, holding the reins with the other hand. They rode the snaky mountain road in silence; there was no need to say anything. Not now at least.