DISCLAIMER: The characters you recognise from Wicked aren't mine, obviously. But the other characters are.

Chapter 1: The Letter

April 1935

It seemed to Fiyero that he'd spent the entire first month of his reign as king locked in his study, poring over thousands of papers- proposed laws, letters from the leaders of other provinces and lands outside Oz, and many other things Fiyero never knew his father had dealt with.

He was grateful that his mother was handling all the condolence notes that were still pouring in, and that the mourning period kept any social invitations to a minimum. It was one thing less he had to deal with, and he never knew what to say when someone said they were sorry for his loss.

In some ways, people already expected his life to be returning to normal, not recognising that there was no normal anymore. There seemed to be a weight pressing on his chest at all times. Although granted, Fiyero wasn't sure if that was due to his father's absence, or Elphaba's.

Oz, he missed her. Missed them both.

But where his father's absence was like a kick to his gut every morning he woke up and remembered that he was no longer here; Elphaba's abrupt departure had taken his breath away, and he hadn't remembered how to breathe again yet.

It had been a month, and there'd been no word from her. Nothing to say that she'd arrived safely… wherever she had gone. Nothing to explain why she'd left, or even to say that she was sorry.

Fiyero felt that if she was here, he might have been able to cope with it all. Losing his father, trying to support his mother with her own grief, being king. If he had her beside him, it might have been slightly bearable. Without her, it was all Fiyero could do to get out of bed each morning.

Kasmira kept suggesting that he try and find her, even just to get an explanation from her. But Fiyero refused. He wasn't sure that there was a point to trying to find her.

Although she had been sure that her father wasn't even looking for her when she'd run away from Munchkinland, Fiyero knew that if Elphaba didn't want to be found, he wouldn't find her. And, if he were really honest with himself, he was a little afraid to hear any explanation she might give him. If she didn't love him, as a little voice in his head whispered a little louder every day, hearing that from her lips might crush the splintered remains of his heart beyond repair.

There came a knock on the study door, and Fiyero threw down the papers he was reading immediately, grateful for any distraction. He hadn't taken a word of what he was reading in.

"Enter," he called.

A servant entered, a silver tray in his hands. "The mail, Your Majesty."

It had been three months that that term now applied to him. Fiyero was now able to only wince mentally when someone addressed him as 'His Majesty', and he'd just stopped instinctively turning and looking for his father.

"Thank you," he said, and held out a hand for the mail.

The servant bowed and left the study, and Fiyero flicked through the stack of envelopes, dividing them into what looked important and what could wait until later. Then he stilled, the remainder of the stack falling from suddenly numb fingers. A letter addressed to Elphaba Thropp.

At first, he couldn't fathom who would be writing to Elphaba, who knew she was- or had been- in the Vinkus. And then it occurred to him in a flash and his breath caught. Shiz University.

Fiyero hesitated only briefly before reaching for the letter opener on the desk.

He'd always felt like he was going through the application process with Elphaba. He'd seen so many drafts of her application; had been with her when it went into the mail; and until Ibrahim had died, he'd been so caught up with plans and visions of how their relationship would work while she was at Shiz. And now the answer was here, after so many months of waiting.

His stomach clenched nervously as he opened the envelope and opened the letter within.

For the first time in three months, a grin broke over Fiyero's face as he took in the words.

'Dear Miss Thropp,

Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Shiz University to begin studying this coming fall.'

Fiyero's chest filled with pride. Elphaba deserved this more anyone else in the world, as far as he was concerned. He knew how bad she wanted this.

Without thinking, Fiyero pushed his chair back and left the study, heading for his mother's rooms.

"Mom!" he cried enthusiastically as he entered.

Kasmira looked up from the book on her lap, rather startled. "Yero, what is it?"

She was actually relieved to see him look excited about something.

Fiyero handed her the letter as he sat down beside her. "Fae got in. To Shiz. She got in!" he exclaimed, beaming with pride.

Kasmira sobered as she slowly accepted the letter and read it for herself.

"Mom, what is it? What's with that face?" Fiyero asked, confused.

Kasmira lowered the letter and sighed as she met her son's gaze. "I was just thinking. This is the first time I've seen you smile in months," she said softly.

Fiyero's smile faded only slightly. "Well, there hasn't been much to smile about lately," he responded. "But what does that have to do with anything? Mom, Elphaba got in to Shiz! She worked so hard for this. She sacrificed everything. This is great news!"

"I know, Yero," his mother said gently. "And it is wonderful news. But, sweetheart… Elphaba's not here."

Kasmira's heart sank as Fiyero's smile did disappear at that, the now familiar ache reappearing in his eyes.

"I know," he said glumly.

The dowager queen hesitated and then placed a comforting hand on his arm. "You know, I'm sure that Elphaba would be as thrillified as you are to hear this news. After all, as you said, she worked very hard for this."

"I'm sure she would," Fiyero said, his voice stiffening. "Unfortunately, she didn't exactly leave a forwarding address."

Kasmira faltered. "Are you sure that she didn't leave a note? Maybe it fell behind some furniture or…?"

"No, Mom. I looked. A thousand times I looked. I asked the maids, and they never saw anything. I looked in my bedroom, I looked in the study, anywhere it makes sense for her to have left a note. There's nothing. The only trace that she was ever here is that damn engagement ring that sits there mocking me," he said bitterly.

Fiyero rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Why couldn't she just talk to me, Mom? If she was having doubts…"

"You don't know for sure that she was, Yero. That's just Avaric's impression. He could be wrong."

"I haven't heard you suggest any plausible theories in the past month, Mom."

"Well, I'm sorry that I refuse to believe your theory that she agreed to marry you but didn't actually love you," Kasmira replied sharply. "People don't do that, Fiyero."

Fiyero said nothing. He didn't want to believe that Elphaba didn't love him, but at times in the past month as he dwelled on her abrupt absence, it seemed the only logical explanation.

"I think you should try and find her," Kasmira said softly, not for the first time. "If not to get closure for yourself, at least to pass on the news about Shiz. But I think it would do you a world of good to get some answers."

"I don't know if I really want to know the answer to some of my questions, Mom," Fiyero sighed, taking the letter back from her.

His mother squeezed his hand gently. "Yero, your father was the love of my life and I lost him," she said simply. "We had our ups and downs like anyone else, but I don't regret a moment of our life together. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life wondering about Elphaba. I believe she loved you. I don't know why she left, but I do believe that. If there is even a chance that you believe that, you should try and find her."

Fiyero stared at Elphaba's acceptance letter for another moment and then nodded slowly.

"When you arrived home and told Dad and I that you were engaged, we could see how happy you were. Dad said he'd never seen you so happy, and that he was so pleased you'd found the love of your life. Was she, Yero? Is Elphaba the love of your life? Because if she is, I wouldn't let her go so easily."

Fiyero's face was irritatingly blank so Kasmira couldn't tell if her words had any effect on him.

"Thanks, Mom," he said quietly and then left the room.

Kasmira sighed heavily into the empty room.

Avaric found Fiyero quickly after leaving his mother, plying him with a series of matters that apparently urgently demanded his attention, and Fiyero shoved the letter into his jacket pocket.

He didn't bring it out again until he was getting ready for bed that night, and he sank down onto the bed, re-reading the words.

He and Elphaba hadn't discussed Shiz since Ibrahim had died. Their last conversation on the subject, she still hadn't had any idea about what exactly she wanted to study; and Fiyero had been trying to convince her that there was more to college life than classes. The idea had been bewildering to her, which Fiyero had found more than slightly amusing.

Fiyero had almost wished he had never graduated, so he could go to Shiz with her and see her experience it all. And then Ibrahim died, and everything had changed.

As much as he wanted Elphaba to experience university, he wanted her as his wife more. And they couldn't have both. He hated that.

Of course, none of that mattered anymore, did it?

Fiyero opened the drawer to his nightstand, the one that contained Elphaba's engagement ring. He hadn't opened the box since his coronation, but as much as he tried to forget about it, he always knew it was there. Mocking him. Reminding him.

He tossed the letter into the drawer alongside the little box and shut the drawer resolutely. His mother's words were still swirling around his head, at odds with the voices in his own mind, but he shook his head firmly to drown them out. He didn't want to think about this anymore tonight.