Author Notes: I know I haven't properly updated this story in ages. It was the first fanfic that I started writing, thought not the first one for me to post. I've lost the plot in my mind, and I could have sworn that I had more of it actually written, but apparently not. Instead of leaving you all hanging, I've decided to post all the pieces that I did have. Ya'll are smart cookies, so I trust you to figure out what necessarily happens between the gaps, and I give you creative license to fill in the rest of the gaps any way your imagination wishes to do so. ;)
On another note, because this was my first fanfic, you probably will see elements in this story that were carried over into the first two stories I posted on this site: "Bruises and Bitemarks" and "Don't Forget To Remember Me."
Without further ado, I give you the rest of this story. :)
"You should go to sleep too, Seto," Akira murmured as she rolled over to do so herself.
"I don't sleep," he replied simply, continuing his work. At the moment, he was mostly just responding to emails from his employees on various matters.
Akira turned to face him once again, looking confused. "What do you mean you don't sleep?"
"I have insomnia," he said stiffly. She could see that it cost him something to admit it. "And even when I do manage to fall asleep, I usually wake up after a couple hours anyways."
"Why? Do you have bad dreams?" she asked quietly, knowing that he would never come out and say it on his own unless she prompted him to.
Seto glanced away from the bright screen of his tablet and nodded, his jaw clenched. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh as he tried not to think about the dreams that tended to wake him.
Akira didn't say aloud that it was adorable and humanizing to hear that the CEO of KaibaCorp suffered from nightmares. What she did say was, "You know, you can always talk to me about them. That's kind of what a therapist is for." Although she wasn't technically his therapist now that they were romantically involved, she was still a therapist and still capable of helping him.
He glanced back at her, looking suspicious, almost uncertain, and Akira gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I promise I won't tell anyone." They were both silent for a few moments, then Akira added, "You really should go to sleep Seto. Operating on little to no sleep is really bad for you."
He contemplated this for a moment, then asked quietly, "Will you come with me?"
Akira looked up at him in surprise, then her eyes softened. She understood. He was afraid, he didn't want to be alone with his demons. "If you want me to, then of course," she murmured back. He set his tablet down on the table and stood, then scooped her up in his arms, much to her surprise. He carried her all the way to his room, where he lay her down on the bed and kissed her forehead gently, the tender gesture a small expression of the concern he had for her concussion, acquired in the earthquake.
"I'll be right back," he whispered, and she smiled back at him.
"I'll be here." As he strode away to his closet, Akira snuggled down between the silk sheets, the luxury making her feel even drowsier. She dozed off while Seto was gone, but was roused as he joined her in bed, reaching out to pull her close. She felt her back press against his bare chest, and her cheeks flushed. Seto seemed content to try and sleep, so long as she was close.
Akira rolled onto her back so that she could press a kiss to his cheek. "Sleep well, Seto," she murmured, giving him a smile. If she knew of some way to take his nightmares away for good, she'd do it. What a pity that he couldn't even sleep well to de-stress from his day. Then something caught her eye, giving her pause. She reached up with one tentative finger to trace the tail end of a scar on his shoulder that seemed to extend to his back.
"Seto, what happened?" she murmured, worried. His jaw clenched again, unwilling to answer. But he did sit up, letting her see the extent of the damage. Scars covered his back, the patterned remains of purposeful and systematic abuse.
Akira was shocked, and felt her heart tear in pity for him. She sat up and put her arms around him, hugging him as tightly as she could, as if she could erase that pain with her embrace. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," she whispered sadly.
"It's alright," he said with difficulty, hugging her in return. "Let's just go to sleep."
Akira nodded in assent, and they resumed their former snuggling. She couldn't help but wonder what secrets his past held, what former pains he hadn't told her about. Hopefully some day he'd confide in her, some day soon, because the sooner he talked to her about it, the sooner she could help him.
Even with this weight on her heart, she fell asleep much sooner than Seto.
Akira's presence alone was not yet enough to banish Seto's nightmares. He twitched in his sleep, grunting and crying out, waking up in a cold sweat with his heartbeat pounding in his own ears. He jerked into a sitting position, panicked and panting. He felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped, then sighed as he saw who it was.
"Seto, breathe, it's okay," she murmured, rubbing his back gently and pulling him against her in a gentle embrace. "Just breathe, I'm here." He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he fought the shaking in his bones. She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead, doing what she could to bring peace to his mind and soul.
"Are you alright, Seto? Do you want to talk about it?" she ventured faintly after several minutes. She understood, perhaps better than anyone, the barriers that he used to guard his heart and mind. He closed his eyes, shuddering. "You don't have to if you don't want to," she added, knowing full well that talking about himself and his troubles was not his favorite activity.
"I'll be alright," he sighed, averting his eyes. Even so, he felt incredibly tense in her arms. She gently unwound his arms from around her, and he glanced up at her, vaguely confused.
"Hold on a moment," she murmured with a smile, crawling across the bed to sit behind him, her legs extended alongside him.
"Wait, what are you—Nnngh…" Seto was cut off by his own grunt of surprise and pleasure as her hands began to expertly massage his back, working out the knots in his muscles.
"Wow, you really need to relax more often. I don't think I've felt anybody this tense before." Seto didn't have a response to that; he wasn't sure he could have spoken if he'd tried. He'd forgotten what it felt like to relax. It felt good. Akira knew this of course, because she knew that dopamine was being released in his brain, causing a spike in pain-relief and pleasure. She smiled, glad that she could do him some good without making him feel too vulnerable. She was still bothered by the scars on his back, but she wasn't going to bring them up again until he was ready to talk about it. Besides, he had her now, and she knew certain effective strategies for fading even old scars.
She worked on him for a while, until she thought she had done as much good for him as she could in one sitting and without any massage oil or lotion. She slid her hands around his torso, hugging him from behind. "Remind me to work on your back tomorrow too. It's going to take several sessions to get all of your knots worked out."
Seto reached around and ruffled her hair. "Come here," he rasped, and Akira lifted her head, loosening her arms and starting to crawl around to his side when he hooked his arm around her waist, rolling her underneath him in a single, swift movement. Her own breathing was unsteady as she stared up at Seto's blue eyes, which were fixed so intently on her, they seemed to burn. He slowly bent his head until his lips brushed against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as her chin tilted upwards to press her lips more firmly against his. That was all the encouragement he needed.
He deepened the kiss in a careful, calculated manner. He was holding himself in check, not wanting to overwhelm or upset her with the intensity of his passion, a passion he'd kept secret for so long he'd thought that he'd certainly incinerate himself with it. Even so, she could sense the beast that paced restlessly inside of him. She was tempted to compare it to a tiger, but tigers were too fluffy. No, Seto was a dragon, just like his favorite trading card.
She cupped his face in her hands, kissing him with increased ardor and eliciting a reciprocal response. He groaned, his hands beginning to advance, wanting to know her better.
This was all new territory for Akira, so she was grateful that Seto took the lead without expecting any initiative from her. She was content to receive his attentions, urgent and tender as they were.
Then a sound entered into her consciousness that sent a jolt of fear through her. Seto heard it too and swore under his breath, looking incredibly annoyed. They waited for a moment in the darkness, still and silent but for the sound of labored breathing. Then it came again: a knock on the door, this time followed by a call from a distressed sounding Mokuba.
"Seto? A-Are you awake?" came his timid voice.
Seto started to sit up, and Akira grabbed his arm, panicked. The words expressing her concerns didn't come immediatelyto her, yet he managed to anticipate them before she even spoke.
"He probably had a bad dream," he said softly. "I'll just take him back to his room and get him settled down, you wait here."
Seto picked up his shirt and tugged it on as he approached the door, opening it partially and crouching down to hug his little brother.
"I-I had that dream again, Seto," he whimpered as he cried into his brother's shoulder. "The one with Gozaburo. Can I please sleep with you tonight?"
As Seto rubbed Mokuba's back in a soothing manner, he glanced over his shoulder at Akira, a vaguely pleading look in his eyes. She nodded. She couldn't say no to Mokuba when he was this upset. Seto assented verbally and stood up, carrying Mokuba to the bed with him and letting the child crawl under the sheets in the middle of the bed.
Either Mokuba was so upset by his dream that he didn't have the emotional energy to be surprised by Akira's presence in Seto's bed, or he was simply ignorant enough to not understand its significance.
"Don't worry Mokuba," she murmured gently, smiling as she let the child cuddle up to her in search of comfort. "You're safe here, with us. Nothing can hurt you now." He nodded, still sniffling, though he was making an effort to stop the tears.
Seto had, by now, joined the other two in bed, on the opposite side of Mokuba. He wrapped an arm around both of them, the only two people in the world that he loved, and lay his head on the pillow. Mokuba turned to face Seto, whispering in a fearful voice, "He's… really gone, right Seto? We're sure he can't come back?"
"No, he can't come back Mokuba. You're safe here, like Akira said. We'll never let anything bad happen to you." Seto's response was calm and steady, alleviating Mokuba's concerns enough that he lay down and closed his eyes, preparing to go back to sleep.
Seto and Akira exchanged a glance over Mokuba's still form. She was curious, but it was a concerned curiosity. If both of them were suffering from nightmares, Seto's back bore old scars, and Mokuba feared the return of their step-father, then there was cause for Akira to get involved, even just from a professional perspective. She could help them with this, whatever it was, but they'd have to let her.
"I'll tell you tomorrow," Seto finally said in a barely audible whisper. She nodded, content with his answer. She gave him a gentle smile and kissed his hand, hoping that one last expression of affection would be enough to hold his own nightmares at bay. He smiled at her one last time before closing his eyes for sleep. She did the same, content with the turn of events, despite the interruption.
She awoke still cuddling with Mokuba and Seto, the grey pre-dawn light filtering into the room and softening all its stark features. She felt her heart warm at the sight of the brothers, embracing even in sleep, both at peace only when unconscious. What darkness did they carry in their souls? She may have been Seto's therapist for several months now, but most of the personal details she knew of him she'd only learned in the past month or so.
They'd both become so dear to her, despite the elder's reticence and the younger's mistrust. After last night, it seemed like she was as dear to them as they were to her. A sudden burst of joy swept over her, and her eyes watered even as she smiled. The tears were prompted by both joy and sorrow. Joy, because in this moment, she had a family, or was at least close to having one. This was what it felt like to wake up and first see the faces of the ones you love before anything else, to feel safe and know that you are loved. Sorrow, because they weren't quite her family, not legally or nominally. She had no claim to them as anything but a therapist, and she couldn't even claim that for Seto now that she was involved with him. She had no promises to hold to, no guarantees, no certainty that a year from now, she'd still be with them.
More tears trickled from her eyes and she sniffled, pressing her face into the pillow to blot her tears.
"Hm? Is something wrong?" Seto lifted his head, having heard the sniffle, and peeked over Mokuba's mess of dark hair at her. She was crying. He'd never seen her cry before, and this alarmed him.
"No, I'm fine," she answered unconvincingly. Seto immediately sat up and crawled around Mokuba's small form so that he was now at her side.
"Tell me what's wrong," he demanded, gently but firmly. "Why are you crying?"
"I just… I don't want to lose this," she answered quietly. "You and Mokuba and I like this. I don't want it to end. I don't want to lose either of you. You're like family to me, and family's something I've never had before." More tears spilled down her cheeks as she spoke, and Seto wrapped an arm around her, hugging her close as he stroked her hair reassuringly.
"I love you. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you or Mokuba. So please, don't cry." Please. It was such a rare word for Seto Kaiba, but even rarer were the words "I love you." Was she still dreaming?
"I love you too, Seto," she answered with a smile, burying her face into his chest as she fought the tears of joy that threatened to overwhelm her. After a few minutes of silence, she asked, "Seto, why wasn't Mokuba surprised to see me here last night?"
Seto waited a few moments before answering straightforwardly, "Because I've already told him that I wanted to marry you."
Akira gaped at him for a moment, her cheeks flushing, before she let out a cry of joy and threw her arms around his neck. "Yes," she whispered, smiling and crying simultaneously. Seto held her close as Akira imagined how he had informed his brother of such a thing. She could just see him mentioning it to his brother casually one day at the office, completely off-handedly at the most inappropriate moment. The very thought of it sent her into a fit of giggles, and when she paused to look up at Seto's face, his bamboozled expression sent her into another fit of giggles. The great Seto Kaiba had never before been faced with such a display of emotion: simultaneous laughing, crying, and smiling. He had no idea what to do, and he couldn't understand what was happening.
"Are you okay?" he finally asked, in answer to which she nodded vigorously. She let out a sigh and leaned into him, all of the emotions wearing her out, though she was still smiling broadly.
"Never been better," she answered, snuggling against him and closing her eyes for a moment as their hands clasped together, as if to never let go. By now, Mokuba was starting to stir, and as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, he seemed just as perplexed by Akira as Seto was. This only further amused her, and she held out an arm to the child, welcoming him into their embrace. The raven-haired child snuggled in between his brother and future sister-in-law, looking up at Seto questioningly.
"I don't think I've ever been this happy before in my entire life," she whispered blissfully.
"Good. I'm glad." Seto shrugged at Mokuba in answer to his curious gaze.
Akira opened her eyes and saw their expressions which caused her to laugh yet again, wiping away the tears from her cheeks as she did so. She didn't even have any words at the moment, she just reached up with one hand to caress Seto's cheek while she kissed the other. On impulse, Seto took her chin in his fingers and kissed her full on the mouth. It was the first time Mokuba had ever seen his brother exhibit any significant form of affection to anybody besides himself, and he looked appalled. When they pulled apart and saw his expression, they both started laughing, though Akira laughed more freely than Seto. Still, it made his small laugh that much more precious.
Those moments that morning became shining jewels in their memories. It was the start of something new for all of them: the beginning of a true family, the beginning of a much happier life, the beginning of a life filled with light and heart and peace for the brothers who'd been plagued by cold shadows all their lives. They were tentative to accept the laughter and joy she offered them, but as they gradually became accustomed to happiness, they also felt safe in its embrace. Life became so much better, even as she forced them to face the demons of their minds and memories.