Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for the encouragement, and for reminding me to tag characters (I has a dumb)...
As ever, OUTLANDER SPOILERS. This chapter brings us up to what is going to happen in episode six of the Starz show. =)
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Liam had the papers in order by nightfall, and Killian and I dutifully signed. As I watched him write his name, entranced by the little hooked flourishes he added to his beautiful signature, I realized I hadn't been told what my new last name would be.
"Jones," I said thoughtfully, reading it aloud as he finished the S.
His head snapped up as he looked at me, and he seemed to realize I hadn't known it.
"Aye," he said, still looking surprised.
"Well," I said, not really sure what to say.
"Killian Jones," he said, holding my eyes. His were so very, very blue.
What had I gotten myself into?
"So," I said, shaking my head to clear my thoughts, "when's the wedding?"
"Tomorrow," Liam said. His eyes flicked to Killian for a moment. "There are some things that need to be done in preparation."
I raised an eyebrow, but neither brother elaborated.
Later that night, I was surprised that I had no trouble sleeping. As I climbed the creaking stairs to the attic room, I was sure I'd spent the night staring at the ceiling and listening to the softly muffled conversations and movements of the people on the floor below. But I found a sealed bottle of wine leaned against the door frame when I arrived. I didn't know or care who'd left the present. I uncorked it gratefully and drained half the bottle in one go. Once the surprisingly strong alcohol warmed my bones, I closed my eyes and drifted off as if I didn't have a care in the world.
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I was having a rather nice dream, something to do with chasing down a bail-jumper and thumping his skull, when I realized that what I had thought was the perp's feeble grip on my arm was actually someone shaking me awake. I sat up with a jerk, blindly flailing.
When I got my eyes open, I found far too many people crowded into the tiny room. Marian and Robin and Liam were there, along with a heavyset woman with a sour expression holding a wicker basket. She, it turned out, was a local seamstress, and she'd been tasked with making sure my (probably) ill-gotten wedding dress fit correctly.
The dress itself was all shimmering silk and layer upon layer of skirts (I didn't ask where they'd gotten it. I assumed I didn't want to know). It didn't require much alteration, though I was given a strange band of silver roses capped with a crown of feathers on each of my upper arms. Beyond that, my arms were bare. The bodice of the gown nipped in tight, decorated with silver embroidery that edged the narrow straps, the dipping neckline, and then trailed off down to the voluminous skirts, which were made of layer after layer of gauzy, semi-transparent fabric.
Marian pulled my hair up and back into a soft, feminine bun, leaving tendrils to fall prettily to my shoulders and down the back of my neck. She added little white flowers here and there, giving me the hint of a tiara made of daisies.
Standing in front of the looking glass, I couldn't deny the woman had done their job well, but my throat looked particularly naked without the swan pendant Neal had given me so many years before. My stomach turned when I remembered finding it in the circle of stones. My fingers had just closed around it when I fell through the cleft in the rock and awoke in fairytale land. I wondered if it had come through with me or if Neal would find it (had found it?) when he looked for me.
"You can't make me do this," I whispered to Liam as he led me down the stairs. We both knew my words were empty bravado.
Silence fell in the main room when we arrived, and the looks of open admiration made me smirk with pride. I didn't see Killian, and I wondered if storybook land shared my world's custom of the bridal couple not seeing one another before the ceremony.
Or maybe he'd escaped.
Neither proved to be true as the front door opened, letting in the late morning sun and the striking figure of Killian Jones. He was wearing what looking like an antique (in my world, anyway) military uniform, all high collars and shiny buttons. The coat was navy blue, with a gold collar and simple shoulder-strap epaulets. The jacket cropped sharply at his waist and was left open, revealing a snow-white waistcoat snugly buttoned over a blue cravat with the hint of a white shirt beneath. His pants were also impossibly white, resembling the faded, torn pants I'd seen him in before, but these were new and clean, though they didn't seem to fit him quite as well as the previous pair. The pants were tucked into his tall, black boots, which had been painstakingly shined. A cutlass hanging from his black leather belt completed the look, and he had a jaunty, feathered hat tucked under his arm. His hair had been washed and brushed, and there was a new blue ribbon tying it back into a neat queue.
To say my breath caught would be an understatement. I think I forgot how to breathe entirely as he stepped through the threshold and made a precise, formal bow before me.
"At your service, my lady," he said as he stood up. I could tell by the hint of a smirk he wore that he had some idea of the effect he was having on me. He looked quite pleased with himself.
"Oh," was all I could manage.
He stepped forward again, coming close enough for the edge of my skirts to hide the toes of his boots. Holding my gaze, he pulled something white from within his coat and leaned forward to fasten the necklace around my neck. Looking down, I saw it was a string of irregular, freshwater pearls interspaced with silver beads. I felt a pang, thinking again of the necklace from Neal that I'd lost, but I couldn't deny the new one was pretty, and it was a sweet gesture.
"They look lovely on you," he said softly, hesitating before he added, "Emma."
His finger slid along the necklace, carefully touching only it and not me, then he stepped back.
"Those were our mother's pearls," Liam said in a gruff voice, as though he didn't approve.
"And now they're my wife's," Killian said calmly, giving his brother a level stare. "Shall we go?"
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Wherever we were going, it was some distance away from the farm. We made a rather odd-looking wedding party with the bridal pair encircled by the others like convicts being escorted to some distant prison. The groom and I kept stealing glances at one another, looking away pointedly when we made eye-contact. The only conversation was his apology for being late while he put together his uniform. The coat, hat, and waistcoat were his own, saved in a chest somewhere in the farmhouse, but he'd had to go off and find new trousers and a shirt, and white pants weren't apparently popular with farmers or villagers. The ones he was wearing had been supplied by his brother, which explained the poor fit.
We dismounted and left the horses at the foot of a small hill. We climbed the hill in silence and found a curly-headed, red-haired man in wire spectacles waiting for us beneath a wide willow tree. Someone had hung ribbons and streamers from the branches of the tree and studded flowers among them, making a rather festive bower. Once we were all within the canopy of swaying limbs, Killian and I were maneuvered to stand before the red-haired man near the trunk of the willow.
Killian took my hands in his, and I was surprised to find his fingers cold. It occurred to me for the first time that despite his outwardly calm demeanor, he might be as nervous as I was. I looked up at him and found him staring at me with a carefully neutral expression, betrayed only slightly by the tightness around his eyes. I tried to smile at him, but only managed to make my lips wobble. He squeezed my fingers in response. I got the impression that we were holding each other up; if either of us let go or looked away, we would both fall down. It was strangely reassuring. Whatever we were in for, at least we weren't alone.
The officiant had said something, and Killian licked his lips before speaking:
"I take thee, Emma, to be my wife…"
His voice did not shake, but his hands did. I tightened my grip.
"...to love, honor, and protect… for better and for worse…"
The words came from far away, and I felt the blood drain from my head. The boning of my bodice was infernally tight, and though I felt cold, I felt sweat pooling between my shoulder blades and running down my sides. I hoped I wouldn't faint.
And then it was my turn.
"I take thee, K-Killian..." I stammered. I paused and took a breath. He'd made it through well enough, I could try to do as well. "...to have and to hold, from this day forth…"
My voice became stronger as I went, the words coming more easily.
"...'Til death do us part."
The words rang out in the little well of the tree, and I felt proud of myself for managing them all. There was a moment of silence, and then the red-haired man asked for the ring.
A murmur passed through the crowd, and it seemed like no one had thought about this portion of the ceremony before that moment. Then Killian released my hands long enough to twist a ring off his own finger.
I still wore Neal's ring on my left hand. The fingers of my right hand looked frozen and pale in the shadow of the tree. Killian slipped his too-large ring, heavy and gold, onto the fourth finger of my right hand. It would have slid off if Killian hadn't immediately curled my fingers around it and folded my hand between his.
There was more talk from the officiant, and then Killian bent to kiss me. I was lost in his blue eyes as he slowly descended toward me, his expression a strange mix of apology and anticipation. I knew he intended to make a brief, ceremonial touch of his lips to mine, but when his gaze flicked down to my mouth, I instinctively moved toward him. I let my eyes flutter closed and pressed my lips to his, finding them soft and warm. Clutching his coat's lapels, I lost myself in the kiss, feeling safe, and whole, and good. I vaguely heard the appreciative and encouraging calls and whistles from the crowd, but I paid them no mind.
When we finally pulled back, touching foreheads for a moment before I let my heels find the earth again, I saw his cheeks and ears tinted pink. I gave him a shy smile, and he returned it, looking deliciously flustered. I watched in mild confusion as he pulled his hands away from mine and drew his dagger. Liam took the blade from his brother, which didn't seem to surprise Killian. Instead, the younger man held up his right hand, palm facing the sky. Liam made a quick, neat slice across Killian's wrist, making me gasp in shock. I didn't have time to properly protest, however, before my own hand was seized and Liam made a cut along my right wrist as well. Liam and the officiant pressed Killian's and my wrists together so that the wounds touched, and then our arms were bound together with a strip of white cloth.
Killian took my elbow with his free left hand, holding me steady.
"Just a bit more," he said, catching my eyes and giving me an encouraging little nod. "Repeat after me?"
I returned the nod, bewildered.
He said the words, and I repeated them, feeling the old poetry in the simple verse:
"Blood of my blood, bone of my bone.
I give you my body, that two might be one.
I give you my spirit, 'til our life shall be done."
The strip of cloth was untied, our arms were wiped clean, and we were married.
There was an air of relief and exhilaration among our party as we made our way down the hill. We were nearly at the bottom when the fact that I'd eaten nothing all day, the remnants of my hangover, the damn corset, and the stress of the day caught up with me and turned my vision black. I dimly heard Killian say my name in a slightly panicked voice before the roaring in my ears swallowed up everything.
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I came to lying in the damp leaves with my head in my new husband's lap. He set aside a wet cloth that he'd been using to stroke my face.
"That bad, was it?" he said with a grin that didn't reach his eyes. He looked utterly uncertain, and it made me think of all the times I'd been unwanted as a child.
"It's not you," I assured him, taking his hand. "I just haven't had anything to eat since lunch yesterday, and this stupid corset…"
His smile warmed, which made me feel better. I pushed myself up to a sitting position, wincing when I remembered the wound on my wrist. It had come open when I fell, so I took the damp rag from him and dabbed the cut with it, cleaning up the new smear of blood.
"I thought that might have been what made you faint," he said quietly. "I should have warned you. It didn't occur to me."
"What was it, exactly?" I asked.
"It's…" he hesitated, frowning for a moment. "It's a blood vow—an old custom, no longer common in this realm, but it was always done in my family…"
He trailed off and gave a little shrug, looking down. He wasn't lying, but I could tell there was something he was holding back.
"It's okay," I said, feeling his discomfort. It seemed somehow right that he should have secrets of his own. I was certainly keeping things from him. I looked around, surprised to find us alone on the path. "Where is everyone?"
He looked bashful for a moment.
"I made them go away so I could tend to you," he said. "They're just down the path. They won't leave us completely alone until everything is official."
"What?" I said, my brow furrowing, "but we're married now."
"Aye…" he said, his ears going pink again, "but it's not legally binding until… until it's been consummated."
My jaw fell open.
"Oh," I said, feeling a little lightheaded again. "Let's go find something to eat."