DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Walking Dead. If I did, it would be very different...
Carl isn't thinking clearly. Like, at all.
His mind is so foggy that he wouldn't be surprised if a lighthouse sprouted out of his brain. Michonne's description of his mind going fuzzy like radio static is actually quite accurate, as his head is currently full of absent buzzing and random snippets of songs he likes and conversations that he can vaguely recall having within the last year. His hands are sweating and shaking as he grasps the branch and his face is heating up like a stove. He never expected his face to be so goddamn close to Ron's after pulling out of the hug. But it is. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the proximity that they're in.
He just stares at him, and he stares back. Its like the world's most awkward staring contest, and the loser is forced to acknowledge just how close they are.
Carl can tell that Ron is in deep thought just by how Ron is looking at him and the way he's chewing up his bottom lip like a piece of gum. Questions as to what Ron's contemplating lazily loop around within the static buzzing in Carl's mind, and a part of him is scared that Ron is uncomfortable with how close they are and he considers moving away, but he's become hypnotized by Ron's eyes and the logical part of his brain seems to have shut off. Speaking of Ron's eyes, Carl's always thought that they're nice, but he's never really stared into them like this and admired the different shades of brown that swirl around in his iris. His eyes remind Carl of the caramel that Carol uses to make her walnut caramel cupcakes. Ron's eyes are also soft and sweet looking, and they remind him a little bit of his mom's... As Carl analyzes Ron's eyes, he picks up a lot of raw emotion hidden underneath them, but he can't tell what emotion it is. He wishes that he could look through Ron's eyes and see back into his head to see what's going on in there and find out what he's thinking about.
Suddenly, Ron's face lights up with a smile that makes Carl's heart beat even faster, and somewhere in the background noise of the static, he wonders if his heart may explode in his chest. The taller boy starts to laugh, still staring at Carl with soft eyes, a new emotion seeming to shine within them.
"What's so funny?" Carl asks as he tries to tune his brain so that there's no more static.
Ron just keeps laughing, a fond smile on his lips. His cheeks are just as flushed as Carl's and Carl can actually HEAR Ron's heart beating, meaning that he's not the only one who's heart is about to implode on itself. His eyes shy away from Carl's momentarily and stare at something else lower on his face. For a second Carl thinks that Ron is staring at his lips, but he quickly dismisses that theory as wishful thinking. 'He's probably looking at the stupid zit on my cheek,' Carl thinks, feeling embarrassed and awkward.
He's too close to Ron to think straight, its like Ron makes him stupid or something because usually this is when Carl would crack a joke about the awkward situation.
But instead his head is full of static, his heart is racing like a cheetah, and his face feels like its on fire because of how much he's blushing. Ron's still laughing and smiling at him with a look that makes Carl feel like he's loved and appreciated, but once again, he waves that off as wishful thinking and assumes that his friend just finds the situation awkward and is laughing to make it more bearable. Carl feels drawn to him anyway, and its honestly like Ron is a magnet or something because Carl feels compelled to either hug him again and bury his face in his chest or...do something really fucking stupid like kiss him. He's definitely close enough to do it, he'd just have to tilt his head upward a little.
It freaks Carl out that part of him wants to kiss the boy in front of him, and it scares him shitless that he's actually sitting there considering doing it. In a burst of clarity, he moves away from Ron to avoid doing something idiotic that could totally destroy the friendship they've built over the last 24 days.
The second he moves back, Ron's eyes lose their glow and his face starts to return to its normal color. But, he continues laughing.
"Seriously man, what's so funny?" Carl asks again, assuming that whatever the hell Ron is laughing at must be really funny since he's STILL laughing after like two minutes.
Ron wipes away the tears of laughter that have started to form in his eyes. That fond smile still on his face. "I'm just really fucking grateful that I spotted you in this tree, squirrel boy," he says.
Carl feels his lips stretch into an impossibly big smile and his heart starts to thump wildly again. "Me too." And Carl knows that he should just leave it at that, a friendly, 'yeah, I'm glad that you found me and we became friends too' but as he figured out earlier, being around Ron makes his IQ drop drastically. So, no, Carl Grimes is not doing the smart thing and shutting up.
"I mean, I was really lost when my family got here. I didn't feel like I fit in here, I honestly still don't think that I do, but now that I've got you its a lot easier. I mean, you're what helped me transition and made Alexandria feel like my home instead of just another camp. Seriously, I have no idea what I'd do if I didn't have you. On the day you spotted me in this dumb tree, my family had basically kicked me out of the house for the day in hopes that I would socialize and make some friends. I thought that there was no chance in hell that I was actually gonna get out there and talk to anyone, much less get close to them. I mean, never tell Tara that I said this, but I think I'm kind of shy. I don't like talking and to be frank, I just don't do people. You know? And at first, I felt a little weird hanging out with you because I'm not good at that sort of thing, but it got easy really fast. I don't know how to explain it, I just feel COMFORTABLE around you and I feel at ease. Its like...maybe its not Alexandria that I've grown attached to and gotten
to know, but you. Maybe I still am an outsider here, but I'm not an outsider to you, so in a way, I belong to part of Alexandria, namely you."
'Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up,' Carl thinks, internally groaning and kicking himself. It's like his lips aren't attached to his brain and he just keeps talking.
Ron is practically glowing and smiling like he just found the cure for the zombie virus. It's amazing to hear him awkwardly ramble on about how much he appreciates Ron and how much he means to him and all of that good stuff. And it makes anyone feel good when a shy person who hates people says that they actually like you, despite the fact that you're a human being. The best part of Carl's little speech though, is when he says that he belongs more to Ron than to Alexandria as a whole. Ron's heart basically melts at the thought of Carl being his.
"And you're my best friend. I can be myself and I know that you're there for me. I mean it when I say that I felt like an alien when I first got here, but its like you introduced me into the native cultures and helped me feel at home. If you hadn't come talked to me, I would've spent all day up in the tree, hiding from everyone. Even today I'd probably spend my day sitting up here by myself, still feeling out of place and lonely. But I've got you to sit up here with me and...wow, I'm really sorry, holy shit. I'm just gonna stop talking now before you push me out of the tree. I'm sorry," Carl says, finally getting a grip of his tongue. His face is flushed again and his visibly cringing. He's tempted to smack himself for rambling on like that. 'What the hell was that?' He mentally scolds himself. 'Its like my lips have a mind of their own. Seriously, that was really fucking bad. What the hell is wrong with ne?! Why am I an idiot? Why?'
Ron just sincerely smiles at him, still feeling beyond elated over Carl's little rant. The only part that sort of stung was the whole 'You're my best friend' thing, but its ok, because Ron will take Carl anyway that he can have him as long as he HAS him in some way. He finds it funny that Carl's apologizing, because it didn't upset him in the slightest, it actually made him feel special and appreciated. "No need to apologize. Honestly. It was really nice of you to say all of that meaningful stuff to me. That was seriously one of the nicest rants anyone has ever made about me. I mean...its the only rant about me that someone has said to my face...but still! I'm glad you feel comfortable and relaxed around me, because it would be kinda weird if only I felt that way. And I'm honored that I'm what makes this place awesome to you. To be honest, I'm really glad that you're group came here. I've never really opened up to anyone else before, I don't tell anyone else the personal shit, just the typical 'feel-good' stuff.. I don't think Mik could listen to me talk about the booze or my dad's tantrums or how my mom gets hurt or any of that without starting to treat me weird, almost like I have a handicap ...and Enid could listen without treating me different but we're not close enough...I don't want her to see me like that, you know? I don't wanna be the 'victim' or 'the kid that gets beat by his dad' to her. But I know that I can trust you not to judge me or let what I tell you effect how you view me. You're my best friend too."
Carl smiles at him. Its relieving to hear Ron tell him that his little spiel didn't weird him out. Its also like a straight dosage of dopamine to hear Ron talk about how much he trusts him and that the 'you're my best friend' thing is mutual. It actually causes Carl to laugh a little because a few weeks ago he was kinda nervous that Ron didn't like him nearly as much as he liked Ron, and from the looks of it, Ron's actually pretty fucking attached to him at this point. Although...Carl still has a feeling that he DOES like Ron a bit more than Ron likes him. But its probably for the best, because Carl secretly thinks that Michonne is right, and that he does have lovesick enamor wafting off of him like bad cologne.
"Can we climb down?" Ron's voice yanks him out of his thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"Can we climb down?"
"Why, are you gonna vomit? I haven't even started shaking the branch yet," Carl teases with a smirk as he gives the branch a little bounce.
Ron grips the branch tighter as it shakes, but manages to smile at him "No, I really wanna hug you and I'm not taking any chances by letting go of the branch. Especially with you being a douche and shaking it. So, can we climb down?"
Carl grins and nods. He would never turn down a hug from Ron. They both descend from the tree. The second Carl's feet touch the ground, he's pulled into a tight hug. Carl hugs back as he feels Ron's grip on him tighten. Ron sets his chin atop Carl's head and sighs out happily.
"So, you up for a game of frisball or tic tac toe, squirrel boy?" Ron asks playfully.
"Don't call me that," Carl mutters, resting his head on Ron's chest and closing his eyes.
Ron smiles and gives Carl a squeeze. "Why not? It makes sense: You can climb trees like a squirrel and you're a boy. You're my squirrel boy." He cringes a little at how awkward that sounds.
Carl just laughs. "Watch it, Anderson. I could very well withdraw my hugs from you," he jokingly threatens.
Ron laughs. "Alright, alright! Damn, that got serious fast."
"Yeah, Squirrel Boy doesn't fuck around," Carl mutters with a smile. "But I'm game for some frisball."
Ron grins as they pull away from each other. He spots Carl's hat lying in the grass where it fell from the tree a few feet away. He bends down to pick it up and sets it on Carl's head.
"You almost forgot your hat," he mutters, keeping his hands on the brim.
Carl smiles up at him, placing his hands on top of Ron's, on top of his hat.
Something sparks in his chest when Carl puts his hands a top his own, and Ron once again realizes that he could kiss him. It's then that Ron actually starts to crane his neck down and tilt Carl's hat back, as if going to kiss him. No BSing around, just a kiss. His heart starts hammering again and his hands clutch the brim of Carl's hat even tighter. Self doubt starts to scream at him, demanding him to explain what the hell he thinks he's doing. Ron just ignores the angry voices...until his face is once again right next to Carl's.
Then he gets cold feet and feels his cheeks turn red as Carl just stares at him, sucking on his bottom lip nervously. 'You're a moron,' Ron tells himself. 'A complete and total moron. What the hell am I doing?' Its a dumb question, because Ron can even answer it himself: For the second time in less than an hour, he's trying to kiss Carl Grimes.
As Ron had started to lower his head to his level and move his hat away from his face, Carl had just blankly stared at him, not sure what to think. He originally thought that Ron was just trying to get closer to him so that he could whisper some ludicrous and inappropriate joke to him. But...Ron was getting a little closer than he needed to be to whisper to him. Carl's heart starts racing again and his hands start to shake and loose their hold on Ron's hands. And before he knows it, Ron is just as close to him as he was before.
They just stare at each other again, the staring contest picking up where it left off. Ron feels his breath catch in his throat. He's caught off guard by his own stupidity and he curses his dumb teenage hormones for getting him in this compromising situation...for a second time.
'Crack a joke and play it off, crack a joke and play it off,' he thinks. But he can't think of any good jokes because he's caught up in those fucking blue eyes that are looking up at him.
"You have nice eyes," he blurts out. "They look like the ocean. You know, a clean ocean with no fish feces or oil spills."
It's literally the dumbest thing Ron has said all week, maybe even all month.
'Smoooooth. Such a good thing to say to deflate the tension and awkwardness,' Ron thinks to himself bitterly. He could smack himself. Now after he's said it, ten decently funny jokes that he could've used pop into his head.
Carl's practically over the moon. "M-my eyes?" He stutters. Did Ron Anderson really just compliment his eyes or is he imagining things? Sure, it wasn't exactly well said or romantic (it actually sounded like something in one of Mikey's sonnets) but Carl will take what he can get.
"Yeah. You've got nice eyes," Ron mutters, swallowing nervously. He purposefully bites down on his lip after he's done saying what he feels comfortable saying to avoid anymore cases of 'word vomit'.
Carl beams up at him. "Thanks. You're eyes are nice too."
"Sure, but yours are really amazing. I feel like I'm lost in them when we make eye contact for too long. Really, it looks like someone could go swimming in your eyes," Ron says, the lip-biting proving to be a worthless cure for word vomit. He mentally threatens to duck tape his own mouth shut and/or cut out his tongue after he gets home.
Carl can feel his face light up in happiness and excitement at Ron's words. He wishes he had a snappy joke about Ron 'getting lost in' and 'swimming' in his eyes, but he doesn't and all he can do is smile. "Thanks," he breathes out.
Ron smiles, the huff of air from Carl's sigh brushing by his nose. "You're welcome," he replies. He feels Carl's hands slip off of his own and drop to his sides. He awkwardly stumbles back from the hatted boy, and ends up tripping and falling on his ass. Carl laughs at him as he helps him up.
"Really coordinated, aren't you?" He teases.
Ron rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm-" he cuts himself off as a wicked idea forms in his mind. He gives Carl a cheeky grin before snatching his hat off his head and taking off.
"Hey!" Carl yells with a snort of laughter as he start to run after him.
Ron just laughs as he sprints down the street, Carl right on his tail.
-
The next two weeks are the most confusing weeks of Carl's life. He has no idea what to think. He doesn't understand his own emotions and it's frustrating and honestly a little nerve wracking. Its not like Carl has ever been an expert at identifying and dealing with icky emotional stuff, usually Michonne is the one that makes him acknowledge it and walks him through dealing with it, but he's actually too scared to tell Michonne what's wrong with him. Mostly because he's afraid that she'll think he's a freak and will hate him. The worst part is that she jokingly teases him about what's wrong on a daily basis, and sometimes he gets nervous that she actually knows. He also wonders if other people can tell. He sometimes gets paranoid and thinks that they can smell the 'pheromones' too.
So what is Carl freaking out over? Actually, Carl is worrying about something that 70% of teenagers worry about at one point or another. The nasty, awkward, uncomfortable, S word:
Sexuality.
Its not something Carl has ever really spent a lot of time thinking about. Ever. Out on the road, its obviously not something that you really contemplate since most of your thoughts consist of 'Do we have enough clean water for the week' or 'Is it worth the risk to try to go into the restaurant to get food? Can we go another night without eating?' Or the occasional 'Ok, does the car have enough gas to get there and are those highways possibly swarmed? Should we take a back road or will the terrain be too rough and pop the tires?'
Needless to say, Carl never had any unsettling thoughts about who he was attracted to because he was preoccupied by threats of starvation, dehydration, gruesome death, and infection. Not once did he ever think he could be gay or bi.
To be honest, Carl hadn't even been entirely sure what it meant to be gay until he met Tara. Then he learned that being gay simply met that you were attracted to people of the same sex. And it didn't bother him at all. Seriously, so what if Tara wanted to be with other women? Its not like it was HURTING anyone or making the world any worse of a place than it already was. It was just two people who loved one another. Besides, its the end of the fucking world, two women kissing, holding hands, having sex, and telling each other 'I love you' was really the least of anybody's worries. But Carl personally thinks that even if it wasn't the end of the world, that it shouldn't matter who loves who. It really wasn't anyone else's business what happened in somebody's bedroom nor was it their right to condone them just for being in love.
But even though Carl now knows what homosexuality is and has absolutely no problem with gay people (actually, he doesn't even think of them as 'gay people' he thinks of them as just 'people'.) it freaks him out a little to think that he could be gay. He doesn't even know WHY it scares him. He's pretty sure that no one would care if he's gay and that him liking another dude is probably pretty low on their list of shit to worry about, if it's even on it at all.
But he's still really uncomfortable at the thought of telling anyone. He's not even SURE that he is gay or anything, he just...well he's never been attracted to anyone. Male or female. ...that is before he and Ron got close. He doesn't like to think that he's necessarily 'in love' with Ron...but he has no fucking idea how else to put it. He's pretty sure its not just some flimsy 'crush' because Carl doesn't just think that Ron's cute or like a few of his personality traits. No, its actually a lot more than that to him. Carl isn't a very trusting person, but in a very short period of time Ron has managed to gain his trust. He's also managed to become one of the few people that Carl can tolerate and actually likes. But the main thing is that Carl thinks that he's genuinely a wonderful person. He's patient with him and nice and understanding. Hell, he even liked the mis-matched group of insane people that Carl calls his family. Ron's home life is terrible yet he manages to pull through and keep moving forward, which is something Carl really respects. Carl also likes how Ron makes him feel: Appreciated, liked, and irreplaceable.
And yeah, he's nice to look at too, but Carl would never say that its a 'crush' because Carl Grimes doesn't get crushes, he falls in love way harder than he should.
Carl hates being in love. He knows that that's not something many other people say, but he does. He hates it. It's not like he hates love in general or like he hates people that are in love (Maggie and Glenn are both very important people in his world) but he doesn't like that he's in love. It makes him feel awkward and cornered because its not something that he can escape. He can run from walkers and fight off people, but his own emotions can dominate him and make him feel weak and stupid. He also hates that he fell in love with his best friend, but really, who else would it be? Carl very rarely opens up and makes himself vulnerable, and when he does it takes time, but Ron managed to scale the walls and make his way into the inside within about a month. Seriously, it's a world record and the kid deserves a prize.
Over the weeks of confusion, Carl doesn't avoid Ron. He would never do that because being around Ron makes him feel better, despite how confused the taller boy makes him feel. Its usually ok until Ron smiles at him or laughs, then that funny trampoline feeling in his stomach kicks in. He also feels achy when Ron grabs him by the wrist (which he's been doing A LOT lately. Its not like Ron grabs him by the wrist to lead him anywhere either. They'll just be sitting on his bed and Ron will grab him by the wrist and hold it, like he's afraid Carl is going to run off) he realized that he aches because he WANTS Ron to slide his hand just a bit further down and lace their fingers together. Sometimes, Carl thinks about yanking his hand up while Ron's gripping his wrist so that they're holding hands, but he never does it because he knows that would freak Ron out and probably end in Ron calling him a fag and storming off.
But to be fair, Carl has noticed that Ron has started invading his personal space a lot lately. Not that Carl's complaining or anything, but Ron has started hugging him more, holding his wrist a lot, and just generally touching him way more than necessary. Like when they listen to music together. They used to sit or lie next to each other on Ron's bed or on the floor with a respectable 6 inches between them, but now Ron always sits or lies so close to him that they're sides touch. Sometimes when they're lying down, he'll lay one of his legs over Carl's knees or customarily grab him by the wrist. When they play frisball Ron doesn't just shove him anymore, he tackles him and pins him down for an excessive amount of time, holding Carl's wrists above his head and straddling his hips while smiling down at him. Once again, not like Carl's complaining. Sometimes Ron will hang off of him, like he'll wrap his arms around his shoulders or come up behind him and rest his chin on his head. Once Carl had been trying to reach a can opener on the top shelf, but due to his height, he hadn't been able to get it. Ron had offered to get it since he was taller. Carl had expected him to step beside him to grab the can opener, but instead he had just reached up over Carl, causing him to rub up against him. It was the first time Carl had been thankful for his short height. It sort of stings though, because all of this is practically Carl's heart to explode while Ron is unaffected because he doesn't like him back.
But even though Carl has admitted to himself that he likes Ron as more than a friend, he's not comfortable talking about it. To anyone. Even the people he usually talks to about weird things that make him uneasy. He can't even fathom sitting down to talk to his dad about how he's feeling or what's going on. Seriously, he'd rather lick peanut butter off of Daryl's foot before talking to his dad about it. He doesn't know how Daryl would react to Carl saying he liked another guy. He doesn't think he'd be mean or cruel or anything, but he's scared it might weird him out. Talking about it to Carol would be even worse than talking to his dad, and even though Michonne claims to know everything about him and teases him about Ron, he's not entirely sure if she's being serious or just joking and if she'd be weirded out or not by the whole thing. And usually Carl would talk to Ron about it, but he can't since Ron is the problem...or maybe he himself is, he doesn't know anymore. He just know that he wants to talk about it though, because he's sick of not understanding himself.
Ron isn't having as hard of a time with it as Carl is. He's fully accepted that he likes Carl, even though Carl is a dude and his best friend. He's actually ok with it for the most part. Ron never considered himself gay, or straight, or pan, or anything really. Ron's thought about it briefly a few times, just because Mikey tends to ramble on about the stuff he sees in his stolen Play Boy magazines and how pretty he thinks Enid is and the wonders of the female body, but Ron has never really been into any of that. But to be unbiased, Ron had actually never been really into anyone before Carl. Sure, he thinks Enid is pretty, but he never has the urge to kiss her or hold her hand. Ron actually doesn't even take Carl's gender into consideration, he just loves Carl. He doesn't know what that makes him, but he doesn't really care. Because he's head over heels in love and probably even more lovesick than Mik at this point.
But...Ron doesn't say anything and just swoons in silence because he's pretty damn sure that the feeling doesn't swing both ways. He's not certain, but he has a funny feeling that Carl likes Enid just as much as Mikey does. He mostly believes this because whenever they talk about her, he voices his concern for her and talks about the stuff he used to do with her outside the walls. Ron's concerned about Enid too at this point, but...he just thinks Carl's not into him. Which sucks, but he'll stick it out because if he can't have him he at least wants to be as close to him as he can be. And as long as Carl has no idea, it can all be normal between them.
But sometimes Ron has the urge to kick himself because he does some really stupid stuff that makes his feelings obvious to anyone with a brain in their head. He doesn't even mean to sometimes, but he gets really close to Carl because being close feels good. He pins him down below him and gets on top of him because, as perverted as it sounds, he likes how Carl looks when he's on his back under him with his hands up over his head. He likes how it looks because it makes Carl look like his. He goes to grab his hand all of the time, but quickly makes a half-assed save and grabs his wrist instead. That can be friendly, right? He wants to kiss him. A lot. Sometimes he absent mindedly stares at his lips and wonders how they feel and taste. He hugs Carl as often as possible and he likes to smell him while his nose is buried in his neck.
Ron won't lie to himself about it, he loves Carl Grimes.
But Ron DOES lie to other people about it. He'd never tell his family about it. It would be humiliating and he doesn't know how they'd feel about him liking another boy. He can't imagine his mom would hate him for it, she's always seemed to be accepting of everyone, but he still doesn't want to take any chances. He doesn't tell his dad shit, so why would he even consider telling him something personal like this? He lies to Mik too. One morning as he was going over to Carl's house, he'd spotted Mikey sitting on the sidewalk writing more sonnets and love letters.
"Hey Mik. Working on some more poems? Have you mentioned how her head is shaped like a perfect cantaloupe yet or how you want to be her hairbrush so that you could run your finger bristle things through her hair?" Ron had teased.
Mikey glared back up at him and replied by saying: "Shut up, man. Why don't you go makeout with your boyfriend?"
Ron had blushed. "What the hell-"
Mikey had laughed and shook his head. "That's where you're going right now aren't you? Carl's house?"
"So what?"
"You like him, dude."
"No, I don't!"
"You're right, you don't like him, you love him."
Ron's face had been too flushed at that point to keep up with the denying lies, so he just walked away. When he had walked by Mikey again two minutes later, this time with Carl in tow, his face had gone aflame again. Mikey had just smirked and mouthed at him to 'make sure to use a condom'. Ron had almost died. Mikey still does stuff like that to him sometimes, and it makes Ron want to kill him.
But Mikey's teasing isn't the most embarrassing part of the whole ordeal. The dreams that cause him to have to get up at 2 AM and change his sheets are by far the most embarrassing part of it, but they aren't anything new, they've been going on since before Ron admitted that he fell love to himself. At least he understands WHY now...
Its also sort of hard to be completely normal around Carl after a night when he got up at midnight to take a cold shower because of the dreams he'd been having about him. Sometimes Mikey used to be in the middle of telling him about the stuff he and Enid had been doing in his dreams, and she'd walk up to them. Mikey would cheerfully greet her and act like he hadn't just been talking about licking her taco. Ron's starting to think he needs to get lessons about how to play it off from him, because there are some days when he's really close to shamefully admitting to what he'd dreamt about the previous night. And the stupidest everyday things push him to admit it. Like the time that Carl had fallen down a few stairs and Ron asked if he was ok. Carl had just smiled and said that he was fine but that his ass was going to be sore. And then there was that time Ron had been eating a popsicle by himself on the porch, when Mikey rode by on his bike and asked him if he was 'practicing'. Ron had flipped him off and gone inside. The next day had been particularly hot and somehow he and Carl both ended up eating Popsicles. Needless to say, it was the most awkward ten minutes of Ron's life, and he'd sat with his legs crossed.
Besides the embarrassing things and his feelings not be reciprocated, being in love isn't bad. Ron likes that its something nice to think about when his dad goes off the deep end. He likes feeling light and splendidly love drunk when Carl smiles at him and when they make psychical contact, no matter how insignificant or light. He loves having something to look forward to every day and he loves that no matter what he's thinking about, Carl's always in the back of his mind like a catchy song that gets stuck in your head. Speaking of songs, its great how all of those songs about being in love are finally relatable and meaningful instead of just songs. Seriously, 'I Wanna Be Yours' by The Arctic Monkeys is almost always on reply in his brain. He also sorta feels for Mik now, because he realizes that it is actually really hard to like someone and them not like you back. But Ron thinks he has it harder, because who he's in love with is his best friend, who isn't even into guys. He feels sort of stupid for accidentally falling in love with him. You aren't supposed to fall for your best friend...
-
"Morning," Michonne greets Carl as he sits next to her on the porch. It seems to have become their thing to eat breakfast together on the porch in the mornings.
"Morning," Carl replies with a small smile. He looks at her nervously before awkwardly clearing his throat. "Do you love me?" He hates how dumb and needy that sounds, but he needs to really be reassured before he starts this conversation.
Michonne looks shocked. "Of course I do. Your my charade buddy, my toast dealer, my I Spy competition, my run partner of choice, and my friend all in one."
Carl shakily smiles at her. He wants to start talking, but now he's having second thoughts. Maybe he can figure it out on his own...
"Is everything ok?" She asks, looking concerned.
Carl looks at his feet and nervously runs a hand through his hair.
"Carl, look at me. Is everything ok? Is there something you need to tell me?" She asks seriously, setting her spoon down and reaching out across the table to hold his shoulder.
"Could you ever hate me?"
"No! You're not a monster, do you understanding? We've gone through this. You did what you had to and you're-"
"It's not like that this time," Carl interrupts before she launches into a speech. "It's different. I...I have something to tell you, but I don't know what you'll think of me after I tell you."
Michonne looks worried, but keeps holding his shoulder. "I could never hate you! What do you have to tell me?"
Carl sighs before closing his eyes. "Uh... So I think that I'm..."
"You're what? ...Bit?!"
"No! No! I haven't left the walls in a week now. I uh...well I'm thinking that there's a small possibility that I might be..."
Michonne raises an eyebrow and looks at him. She gives his shoulder a squeeze. "You can tell me," she assures him quietly.
"Ok, uh...do you like Tara?"
"Yeah, she's a nice person. She's energetic and bubbly and funny. Maybe a bit too excited sometimes, but she means well. What does my opinion of Tara have to do with anything?"
"Do you like Aaron?"
"I don't really know him that well, but he seems like a skilled survivor and he's a nice guy. Carl, really, what are you getting at?"
Carl shrugs. "Nothing really I guess...I was just wondering what you thought of them..."
Michonne just stares at him in confusion. Then, something in her head clicks and she puts two and two together. "You finally realized that you aren't straight, didn't you?"
"No I...wait, what? How do you know? I didn't even-"
Michonne smiles at him and laughs. "God Carl, you were really scaring me there for a second. I thought that something was really wrong."
"You're not weirded out by me...not being totally straight?"
Michonne shakes her head. "Why would I be? I already knew anyway! Why do you think I was teasing you about Ron? Well, its fun to do it, but I also just wanted to hint to you that I knew. I've known for... Jesus, like three weeks and I've had a feeling about it for months."
Carl gapes. "Three weeks?! I've only known for like one week!"
"Not surprising. I've always known you better than you know yourself. So, you admitted to yourself how you felt a week ago? Finally! But...why were you so scared to tell me?"
Carl shrugs. "I don't know...maybe I thought you would be grossed out by it."
"Grossed out by it? You make it sound like a bloody gash with worms living in it. No, why would I hate you? I'm not and never have been homophobic, and its the apocalypse Carl, I think that everyone has bigger problems than you liking another guy. Seriously, its ok."
Carl visibly relaxes. "Yeah, I kind of assumed that."
"Then why were you so scared to tell me? Wait...I get it."
"I don't," Carl mutters, running a hand over his face. "Please explain me to myself."
"I think the problem for you isn't that who you like is male, I don't even think the problem is related to the person you love. I think you're afraid of being in love. I think you're scared that You'll fall in love with someone and then they'll get ripped apart by the living dead or killed by the evil living. You're scared of loving and losing. You weren't scared of telling me either, you were scared of openly admitting that you're in love, because you're afraid to be in love."
Carl thinks about it and realizes that Michonne is right. He's always afraid of losing her and his dad and Judith and Daryl and everyone else. He's sick of losing people too, and he's sick of grieving and always being sad. He doesn't want to commit to too many people, because the more people you love, the more likely you are to experience heartbreak. And Carl's never loved someone the way he loves Ron, and he bets that it hurts like hell to lose someone that you love like that.
"Why do you understand me better than I understand me?" Carl weakly asks with a grin.
Michonne smiles back at him. "Its a gift." She gets out of her seat and walks over to give Carl a hug. He sighs again and hugs her back.
"You're not really living if you restrict how you want to live because of fear. If you do that, you're surviving not living. To live, you've got to liberate yourself mentally and emotionally. Within reason though," Michonne mutters to him.
Carl smiles. "I get that. I know the difference between living and surviving, because I've done both. This doesn't count though, because he doesn't like me back..."
Michonne lets out what sounds like a squeal. "So you admit that you like him?!"
Carl groans, but doesn't pull out of the hug. "No, I...uh...I was saying...uh...yeah."
Michonne laughs happily and gives him a squeeze. "You're growing up. And you're in love. Ah, I knew my blood hound nose was right, and that those pheromones I was smelling are real and I WASN'T just seeing stuff that wasn't there."
"Whatever," Carl mutters as he pulls out of her arms.
Michonne smiles at him. "Trust me, he does like you."
"Does not."
"Does too."
"Why do you think he does? Because he doesn't, ok? Trust me."
"Trust you? Uh, I was the one who was just right about you being in love and you're fear of it. I think YOU should trust ME. He likes you! I only had to see him with you once to be able to tell that he likes you. He looks at you all the time, and you should've seen the way he glowed when we kept telling him how much you talk about him. Seriously, he looked like a Jack-O-Lantern, and that smile didn't help," she says teasingly, causing Carl to laugh. "He hangs out with you EVERY day. C'mon Carl, every goddamn day. And he hugs you-"
"Hugging doesn't have to be romantic," Carl says pointedly.
"That's true, henceforth the bro-hug and the one-armed hug. But you two don't just bro-hug, ok? You guys like cling onto each other. Seriously, it looks like you two are trying to morph into one person," Michonne says, using both of her hands to illustrate her point. It makes Carl slightly uncomfortable. "And he looks at you in this way that just...it looks love struck. He looks at you the way Glenn looks at Maggie, except more pubescent and awkward and hormonal."
Carl rolls his eyes but smiles. "You really think so? I still don't. I kinda think that he likes Enid."
"How can you tell? She's not even around."
"Because Mikey loves her too and he and Mikey have been being sorta weird with each other lately. Like, Mikey smirks at him and Ron glares back."
Michonne shakes her head. "No, he likes you. I don't know what's going on with him and your other friend, but it's not about Enid."
"He doesn't like me, Michonne."
"Ok, look, if he ever tells you that he likes you, you have to tell me that I know everything and that I'm always right."
"Fine, I will. But don't count on it, because I know that he doesn't like me ," Carl says, crossing his arms over his chest.
"And I know that he does, and I'm Michonne, so I'm always right."
Carl just groans and rolls his eyes. "Ok whatever."
Michonne smirks at him and nudges him with her elbow. "So...I'm guessing that I'm the first person you've come out to."
"Come out of what?"
"Its terminology for saying that I'm the first person that you've told that you're gay."
"Ok, I never said I was gay-"
"You like a guy,ok? You could be bisexual, but for now I'm going to assume that you're gay since you've never shown any interest in girls, even when there were some hitting on you."
"I've never had girls hit on me," Carl says, sounding confused.
Michonne laughs. "There were two girls at the prison around your age, I don't remember their names, but they were ALWAYS flirting with you."
"Oh, I remember them, but I don't recall their names anymore. Sabrina and...Charlotte or something like that. They weren't hitting on me!"
"Holy shit,they both FAWNED over you! Oh my god, for two months the two of them constantly twittered around you and asked you to do stuff with them and tried to hold your hand. What was so funny was how oblivious you were. I think that's why they eventually left you alone."
Carl shrugs. "I thought that they were just annoyingly friendly."
"Yeah, I think that makes you gay."
"Does not."
"Does too! You totally ignored two females that were flirting up a storm with you! Hell, you didn't even THINK that they were flirting with you!"
Carl rolls his eyes at her, but doesn't have a good comeback.
"But in all seriousness, I'm honored that I'm who you trusted enough to tell first," Michonne says with a tiny sweet smile.
"I trust you and I can't even imagine having this conversation with anyone else. Really, on a scale of 1 to 10, how awkward do you think that my dad would've made this conversation?"
"98," Michonne replies, pulling Carl into another hug. "I'm gonna throw you a 'coming out' party," she teases.
Carl groans. "I would kill myself."
"I'm gonna invite everyone and make you a cake. A rainbow cake. And I'll hang rainbow streamers all around the house and there will be a big banner that says 'Carl Came Out of the Closet' across it."
Carl pulls out of the hug and buries his face in his hands.
Michonne just laughs and keeps going. "And it'll be a surprise for your dad. We'll all hide around the house and jump out and yell 'Surprise!' when he walks in the front door."
"This sounds like a surprise party."
"Aha, but here's the twist, after we all jump out, you'll present him with the rainbow cake with rainbow sprinkles that will say 'Your Son is Gay' in icing across the top. And then I'll obnoxiously throw rainbow confetti around and blow a rainbow colored party horn in his face. I'll get Tara, Carol, Glenn, and Eugene to compose and preform a song about loving and accepting your gay child. I'll also have Daryl and Abraham both write some poetry about it and have them read it aloud. Maybe I'll let Maggie make some big acceptance speech. If your dad still doesn't accept you, I'll take him to the back yard and Daryl and I will knock some sense into him. It will be glorious."
"Please don't..." Carl mutters, face still buried in his hands.
"But its no trouble! I'll do all of that, and just because I love you."
"Gee, I feel so loved." Carl mutters. He then looks up at her through his fingers. "But really, I love you."
"I love you too. Don't think that I'd ever hate you," she says, pulling him into yet another hug.
After they pull apart Carl starts to head down the porch steps. "I've got to go. I promised Ron that I would meet up with him by the library."
Michonne smiles. "Alright have fun! While you're gone I'll start making the cake and find some streamers!" She calls after him.
Carl groans, but keeps going down the steps and ignores her.
"Just you wait! It'll be the best rainbow cake ever!" Michonne yells, causing Carl to start sprinting down the street.
"A rainbow cake? Why are you baking Carl a rainbow cake?" Rick asks as he walks out onto the porch to see what Michonne is yelling about.
Michonne just starts to crack up, leaving a very confused Rick.
"Honestly, shouldn't you just make him a vanilla cake or a chocolate cake? It'd be easier. I think that it'll take forever to make a rainbow one. Why are you even makin' him a cake? Are we celebratin' somethin'?"
-
When Carl arrives at the library, he's greeted with a hug. Him and Ron get into a long conversation about what would happen if humans got an adaptation where they grew wings. They then end up playing a really lame game of would-you-rather and eventually, Ron tries to do one of his favorite things: He goes to steal Carl's hat. It's become a daily thing for Ron to snatch Carl's hat and take off, and since its happened so much, Carl's seen it happen before. So as he reaches for it, Carl smacks his hands away, stands up, and grabs Ron's hat off of his head instead.
"Karma!" Carl yells as he makes a break for it. Ron smiles and takes off after him.
Carl's actually faster than Ron is, and he's decently far ahead...but Ron knows the geography of Alexandria better than Carl, so as he starts to run by the supply house, he takes a short cut by ducking back behind a few houses, before jumping out in front of Carl as he nears the park.
"Holy fuck!" He shouts in surprise, taken aback. "How'd you get-"
"Short cut," Ron says with a smirk before leaping out at him. Carl manages to run past him and get a few feet ahead...before tripping over his own feet and almost falling. He manages to catch his balance, but he slows up just enough for Ron to catch up to him. Ron gives him a little shove so that he falls back, before crouching in front of him.
"I believe that that's my hat."
Carl childishly sticks out his tongue and clutches the red beanie to his chest. "It's mine now."
Ron just smiles and gently pushes Carl onto his back before crawling over him and sitting on his pelvis. "This is such an act of treason that I'm not even sure what to do," he says with mock anger, trying to grab Carl's arms. Its a little hard to since Carl is laughing and squirming around underneath him. It's the best thing Ron has ever witnessed: Carl Grimes giggling and squirming around on the ground with his face all pink from laughing and his hat falling off of his head to reveal messy brown hair and his eyes shining with tears of laughter and a big goofy grin on his face...he looks fucking beautiful.
"Gimme my hat back," he mutters with a smile, finally managing to grab one of Carl's arms.
"N-never," Carl chokes out, still squirming around and laughing.
Ron grins and wrestles around with him to try and grab his other arm. "Gimme my hat back."
"W-why should I? You steal my h-hat all the time, karmas a b-bitch," Carl retorts, a few tears of laughter winding down his cheek.
"A fair point. I'll stop stealing your hat if you give me mine back."
"You're lying, you asshat!"
"Yeah, I am," Ron admits with a grin, grasping Carl's other arm. "But give me mine back."
"O-over my dead body!"
Ron just smiles at him, feeling his heart rate pick up as he watches Carl try to squirm out of his grasp. He feels like he wants to kiss him, but that's nothing he hasn't felt before 'But right now would be perfect: him with his stupid squirmy arms hooked over my neck and his hat is off so that I wouldn't awkwardly bang my forehead against it,' Ron thinks to himself. 'And he's all nice and warm from running and squirming around, so his warm body would be pressing up against mine and I bet he'd run a few of his fingers through my hair, and if Im really lucky he'd hook a a leg around my waist. Wonder what he tastes like...I bet he tastes sort of sweet like strawberries and pineapple. It'd be the best thing ever right now to just bend down and lazily and sloppily kiss him. Maybe nibble on his bottom lip a little. Leave marks on his neck and collarbone.'
Carl just keeps squirming and giggling, unable to calm down, especially with his heart pounding because Ron's pining him down and sitting on his crotch. Ron looks down at him fondly, and the helpless romantic in Carl wants the taller boy to bend down and kiss him. But the realist in Carl laughs at the mere notion. He gazes up at Ron, smiling at how the wild lions mane of blond hair frames his face. Carl's tempted to tell him how nice his hair looks and how he wants to run his fingers through it, but he doesn't because he knows how weird that sounds. As he's lost in his thoughts, Ron snatches Carl's hat off of the ground and waves it in the air like a victory flag, before quickly pinning his friend to the ground again.
"Hey!"
"Looks like we've come to a hat stalemate," Ron drawls.."If you give me back my hat I'll give you back yours."
Carl scrunches his face up, like he's seriously thinking about it. "Hmm...alright, a hat for a hat."
Ron smiles, releasing his hold on Carl's arms so that they can exchange hats. But after the exchange, Ron still doesn't get off of him.
"Get off of me," Carl mutters with a smile, starting to squirm again.
"Why should I?" Ron asks, setting his hands on Carl's shoulders and leaning forward.
Carl shrugs. "Cuz I told you to."
Ron laughs and lowers his lips to rest beside the smaller boy's ear. "Cuz you told me to?" He whispers, burying his nose into his hair. If he cant kiss him, he'll push the friendly privilege as far as he can. Carl's heart starts thumping faster and he stupidly loops his arms around Ron's neck and drags his fingers up through his soft hair. "I like your hair," he mutters dumbly, closing his eyes, dying a little as he feels Ron breathing in his ear.
Ron's heart has started racing too when he felt arms around him and fingers weaving into his hair. "Really?" He whispers, stupidly sliding a few of his fingers across Carl's shoulders and to his collar bone. He can feel the boy under him stiffen when he slides a few fingers a little bit under the neck of his t shirt and over his collar bone. His skin is pleasantly warm.
Carl's heart stops when he feels cold fingers on his skin. He balls a fist in Ron's hair and feels his spine go straight.
Ron's tempted to lick the shell of his ear since his mouth is right next to it, but settles for nuzzling his face into the other boy's neck as his fingers dance across the collarbone and back up to his neck. "You're warm," he mumbles.
"And your fingers are cold," Carl replies, eyes still closed.
Ron laughs a little and nudges his nose into the side of his neck. He feels Carl's hands ball in his hair and his knees pull up to rest against Ron's lower back.
"You have nice skin," he murmurs, closing his own eyes and resting his forehead against Carl's neck. "It's smooth and warm...pale, sorta like the moon."
Carl wants to tease him about how he should try giving Mikey lessons on how to write his poetry, but he's too far gone and really lost and confused at the moment. This is a friend thing, right? Friends can cuddle like this? This IS cuddling, right? He REALLY doesn't understand what's going on. He honestly thinks that Ron likes Enid. Maybe he's just practicing on him? Maybe this is a normal way to show affections to your friends?
"I can feel your heart beating," Ron mutters, his mouth is literally a breath away from the skin of Carl's neck.
"I can hear yours," Carl whispers. It's always a little bit of a strange feeling when Ron climbs on him because it reminds him of the night when the claimer dragged him out of the car, threw him on the ground, got on top of him, and attempted to rape him. But he's always able quickly to move past that because Ron is never aggressive or even rough with him. Nor is he trying to rape him. But its always a little weird for him at first.
"Your tense," Ron observes quietly, fingers moving up to rub little circles on Carl's neck. "Is everything ok? Is this creeping you out? Im not trying to, I'm just-" Ron then realizes that he has no idea what he's doing. Does cuddling like this count as a friendly privilege? 'What am I doing? Seriously,' Ron thinks. He slowly pulls himself back into a sitting position and looks down at Carl.
"You're not creeping me out!" Carl says hurriedly, gently tugging Ron's hair and trying to pull him back down into the crook of his neck. He likes the cuddling. A lot. Even if its just friendly bro-cuddling. (if that's a thing)
Ron smiles at him, sort of relieved that his friend isn't weirded out and happy that he can keep...doing whatever the hell he was doing. He starts to lower himself back down, but he pauses as he looks at Carl, and he gets a spurt of stupid bravery and decides that the friend privilege is shit and that he's not going to play around like this, he's either going to put it all out there or lock it all away. His hands gently clench the neck of Carl's t shirt as his heart starts pounding and he decides to rather awkwardly try to express what he's feeling. C'mon, can he really be as awkward and bad at it as Mikey? He'll just tear his heart out and offer it over to Carl and hope for the best. But...Carl will probably reject him and basically hand the throbbing bloody thing back with an apologetic look and point to the hole in his own chest and tell Ron that he can't accept it because Enid's holding his. It's probably going to suck, but Ron's feeling brave and he thinks it'll be better just to get it all out there, even if it ends in dejection.
Ron opens his mouth to say something along the lines of 'I think I might have accidentally fallen in love with you' when that spur of bravery abandons him and leaves the him feeling kinda scared and helplessly love struck. He looks down at the boy under him and feels the color come to his cheeks. He internally groans and asks himself why he's so bad at making good decisions. He contemplates whether to really go through with it, just in case there's the tiniest chance that Carl likes him back, or to pussy out and play it safe. He knows what he SHOULD do, but its not what he WANTS to do. What he WANTS to do is bend over and close the gap between his and Carl's mouths.
'Fuck it,' Ron thinks with much more certainty than he's actually feeling. He's denied himself this several times now, and he supposes he may as well try. Even if it ends in Carl pushing him off of him and giving him a look of disgust. Carl's a nice guy, he'll probably forgive Ron and let shit go back to normal, right? 'Well, I guess I'm about to see,' Ron thinks, swallowing the lump in his throat and trying to make sure that his heart doesn't actually burst out of his chest because its beating so hard.
Carl had stopped yanking on Ron's hair when he had opened his mouth to say something. He'd watched in slight confusion as Ron started blushing and breathing harder. And then he closed his eyes and started to lower his head, but not back to lie beside Carl's shoulder, it looks like if he keeps going down that their lips are going to make contact. Carl's heart skips a beat and that fuzzy static returns, blurring everything into a happy haze. If Carl didn't know better, he'd think that Ron's about to kiss him...but a voice in the back of his head tells him not to get his hopes up because there have been numerous instances where Ron lowered his head or got so close to him that Carl had been thinking (and hoping) that Ron was going to kiss him, but it never happened. Ron always just ended up laughing awkwardly and pulling away or stumbling away from him like he was a walker. But this time might actually be legit, Ron's eyes are closed and he's getting really close...
"Whoooaa!"
Ron flinches when he hears the voice and Carl's face flushes. They both know stuff doesn't look...right at the moment. Ron's on top of Carl and Carl's got his arms around his shoulders and his hands rooted in his hair and their faces are so close that Ron's intentions are pretty damn clear.
Ron lifts his head and looks over to see the worst person possible standing there. If it were Sam, he could lie about what they'd been doing, and if it were Mik, he could just roll his eyes at the teasing. Even if it were his mom or Rick he could try explaining himself (although if it were Rick he'd probably already be on the ground with a broken nose, black eye, and dislocated shoulder)
But no. Its Eugene.
They all stare at each other in an awkward silence.
Eugene clears his throat, his face looks flushed and uncomfortable. "Uh, I apologize. I suggest finding a more, uh, private place to initiate in those sorts of activities...Uh, I'll just leave you two alone..."
"It's not like that!" Carl yells quickly. "It's really not!"
Ron frantically nods. "Yeah, we were just wrestling." He knows how dumb that sounds.
Eugene looks confused. "Seems like a pretty intimate match."
"It's not like that! I swear!" Carl yells as Eugene walks away from them. He groans and runs a hand over his face. What if Eugene tells his dad what he saw? He's soooo fucked then. He can already just imagine walking in the front door later this evening and his dad waving him over to come 'sit and have a little talk'.
Ron looks down at him apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't-"
"It's ok," Carl says with a sigh, feeling himself smile. "I just hope he doesn't tell my dad. That would be the worst misunderstanding ever."
Ron blanches slightly at the thought of Eugene telling Rick. He can already see Rick storming to his house and demanding for his mom to send him outside to have little talk. He can then envision himself being strangled by him.
"Yeah, I hope he doesn't. That'd be a really awkward misunderstanding." But part of Ron doesn't want it to be a misunderstanding, he wants it to be exactly what it looks like. He wants it to mean something and not just be two friends kinda-sorta cuddling and kinda-sorta looking like they're going to kiss.
"C'mon, let's go back to my place. Aaron brought me a new Beatles CD," Ron says, getting off of his friend and helping him to his feet, deciding not to dwell on it for too long. He holds his wrist as they trek back to his house.
-
The rest of Carl's day is good and generally not awkward. Yeah, Ron hooks a leg over him while they listen to music and holds his wrist when he walks him home and hugs him before departing, but Carl actually enjoys it when Eugene's not standing there gawking at them.
He half expects stuff to be awkward when he gets home, but its not. Eugene obviously kept his mouth shut about the display that he'd witnessed since no one says anything to him. And Michonne seems to have kept Carl's secret to herself too, or else everyone would be all up in his face. Dinner is actually enjoyable...until Eugene walks up to him and asks if they can talk outside on the porch. It's even worse when his dad raises a suspicious eyebrow, but Carl follows Eugene out onto the porch anyway, shrinking under his dad's gaze.
"Look, I know stuff got weird today, but just so you know, I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me. I will act as a safe with a really strong lock that has a complex code," Eugene says the second the front door closes.
Carl flushes. "But it wasn't ANYTHING! We were wrestling and-"
"And he ended up cuddling with you and kissing you?"
"He never kissed me!," Carl explains desperately. "He was just sorta cuddling my neck with his face. That's all."
Eugene looks at him skeptically. "Cuddling your neck with his face?"
"Yeah." Carl says stubbornly. "He's just my friend! C'mon Eugene!"
"Just your friend? I don't think 'friends' lie on top of each other and cuddle or try to kiss each other. I'd say that he sees you as more than a friend. From what knowledge I've collected about human relationships during my lifetime, when people like someone, they try to get as psychically close to them as possible, which explains the uh...position you were in and I've seen him touch you more than necessary. He also spends an excessive amount of time with you."
Carl just flushes and shakes his head. "We spend time together because we're friends, that's what you do. Besides, he likes someone else and he wasn't trying to kiss me. He gets close to me a lot and it looks like he's going to, but he doesn't. We're just really close to each other and at that weird stage of friendship when you're comfortable doing that sort of stuff."
"I was not aware that there was a stage of friendship were it was considered normal to cuddle and, as the young people's slang says 'drool all over each other'. I think that this 'stage' is something that you're using as an excuse to avoid admitting any feelings out of fear rejection, which is a normal teenage fear. And he most definitely was trying to kiss you, and would've if I'd kept my mouth shut. I sincerely apologize Carl, I believe I acted as what some may call a 'cock block'. I don't know who else you think that Ron likes, because honestly I'm not trying to be crude, but unless you see him shoving his tongue down someone else's throat, all my metaphorical money is on him liking you. And if I'm not mistaken, I think you're captivated by him too."
Carl flushes and groans. The fact that Eugene is talking in about this with an expressionless face and in a serious tone makes this conversation even worse. "Trust me, he likes Enid, not me. And I never said anything about liking him, so you are mistaken."
"Am I really though?" Eugene challenges.
Carl bites his lip and lowers the brim off his hat to cover his face. "No..."
Eugene nods. "That's what I thought. If you're nervous that I'm judging you, I'm not. Well, I am a little, but not because you have what Abraham would call a 'homoerotic boner'. I'm being judgmental because you're totally blind to his affections towards you."
"But there are no affections besides friendly ones. I mean it. My one other friend likes the same girl Ron does, and I think that's why they've been being weird with each other lately. And we talk about her a lot and he used to hang out with her..."
Eugene sets a hand on his shoulder. "I know that as your friend I'm supposed to say something cheesy and sweet that belongs in a rom-com, but I'm going to cut to the chase: Has he ever gotten aroused while you talk about this girl you claim he likes?"
"Uh, no...but we're not really talking about anything that should arouse him when we talk about her," Carl says, showing clear signs of discomfort. Eugene seems oblivious though and keeps going
"Did you ever see her and him together?"
"Yeah?"
"Did he look aroused?"
"No, of course not! It's not like they were making out or groping each other though, they were talking."
Eugene nods. "Fair point, but it still points to him liking you. Just saying. Because he's never been aroused around her and he had a decently big metaphorical tent in his pants today when I interrupted you two."
Carl feels like he's dying of embarrassment. Seriously, he wishes an anvil would just fall from the sky and hit him. "Wh-what? No he didn't, I would've felt it...holy shit I'm actually having this conversation with you and its really awkward..."
"I will admit that it is slightly awkward, but I'm just proving my point. Besides, you may not have noticed his tent because you were too distracted with your own."
Carl just stares up at him, not even sure how to respond to that. "Please stop."
Eugene shrugs. "Alright. Well, glad we had this talk. I wanted to make sure that you knnew that I wasn't going to run my mouth. Its a secret."
Carl sighs. "Yeah, thanks, man. Uh, hey, you're not weirded out by me liking him?"
Eugene shrugs. "Not at all. I saw it coming. Anyway, when he finally does kiss you because I'm not there to be a 'cock block', let me know so that I can tell you that I told you so."
"Not gonna happen, trust me," Carl mutters as him and Eugene go back into the house.
As Carl sits back down at the table, his dad looks at him in interest. "What were you in Eugene talking about?"
Carl's about to roll his eyes and say 'we were discussing how to beat all of the other cartels and enhance our products,' when Eugene passively says, "I've been looking into how the minds of teenagers work and figure out what goes through those hormonal, awkward, overly rebellious minds and makes them make short sighted and idiotic decisions. I figured your son was the perfect test subject to question."
Carl groans as his dad and Daryl start laughing. Eugene just shrugs, not sure why his response was so funny. Carl is just thankful that he didn't tell them what they were REALLY talking about or the room probably wouldn't be as full of laughter and chatter as it is now. It'd probably be awkwardly silent except for Michonne throwing a handful of confetti into the air and blowing a rainbow party horn to break the silence.