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I Own Nothing
This chapter did not exist until about four days ago, so if it seems a little rough, I apologize. The title is a comment on the efforts of both Hiccup and me.
Chapter 26
Trying to Fix a Mess
After returning to Berk and getting over a bout of motion sickness, courtesy of the Twins, Marva went straight to the Chiefs meeting in Mead Hall and shouted that Hiccup had tried to kill her. At first nobody could really believe it but Marva was so loud in her demands for justice that Stoick was compelled to send for his son. Hiccup would have gone to Mead Hall anyway, but he had to help get the riding gear properly dismantled and stored first. The others, especially Astrid and Fishlegs, had wanted to come with him, but he had flat out refused. He did not want them to get further mixed up in this mess. Only Toothless came with him, and that was purely for moral support. When at last he entered Mead Hall he felt like a convict brought before Judges.
"Hiccup," Stoick said coldly, "Let's keep this simple. Marva says you tried to strangle her. Is that true?"
"Did she tell you everything that happened before that?"
Gort, who was looking angrier than Hiccup had ever seen him, turned sharply to his daughter. "What's he mean by that?"
"Nothing! He's just trying to dodge the issue, can't you see that?" Marva said contemptuously. Toothless was standing behind Hiccup and he now growled dangerously.
Hiccup spoke formally. "As to what I did, I don't deny it, and I already wish very much that I had not done it. I think we've all done things in anger that we deeply regret doing—" this was said with a sidelong glance at Stoick, "—but at the same time, Marva, you provoked me. I know I should have not risen to your provocation, but neither should you have acted that way in the first place," He was then compelled to explained the day's events. He had hoped to avoid telling them about Spain—he had once hoped to never have to tell anybody about that—but it was the only way they would understand why he had acted as he had, so he told them about his time in prison, in as few words as possible.
As he spoke he watched their expressions. Gort looked angry and conflicted. On the one hand, his own daughter had been attacked by someone who was supposed to be his ally. On the other, his own daughter had in many respects brought it on herself and had acted in a completely inexcusable way. Stoick at first looked ready to strangle Hiccup when he heard about the bit with the Screaming Death, but when the story was finished he looked ready to strangle Marva. And Bertha, the most neutral of the three, was downright outraged when she learned that Marva had put the others, especially her own daughter, in danger by provoking a Screaming Death, and was equally disgusted with both of them by the aftermath. But all three of them looked at least partially sympathetic when Hiccup told them about Spain.
During this time Marva interrupted constantly, often trying to make it sound like Hiccup was lying or minimizing or exaggerating some detail. Every time she went a bit too far Toothless growled loudly and she nervously fell silent.
"Well," Hiccup said when he had finished at last, "that's what happened. Marva, do you deny it?"
"Aside from you trying to kill me you got it all wrong!" She snapped.
"We'll ask the other Riders then!" Stoick growled, "They all saw it!"
"They'll share the lie with him!" Marva spat, "don't you see they're all conspiring to make me a scapegoat for their failures?"
"What failures?" Bertha asked sharply. Hiccup echoed her.
"What did they do to stop this anyway?" Gort demanded,
"They were all hoping he'd finish me off, I'll bet!" Marva shouted.
"Considering that was the point where they interfered, I highly doubt it." Hiccup said dully.
"Are you telling me that while she was tormenting you they did absolutely nothing to stop her?" Stoick shouted.
"Not exactly…" So much for not getting the others mixed up in this further.
"That's enough!" Bertha said loudly, "this kind of blaming will get us nowhere. Gort, the way I see it, this is between your tribe and Stoick's…"
"No it isn't" Hiccup said quickly, "This is between the Owl Guts and me. Gort, I know I made a big mistake and I'm really sorry about it, but Berk had nothing to do with this! Be angry at me, name my punishment and I'll do it without complaining, but for all our sakes don't take this out on the others here! We can't lose the Owl Guts help at a time like this!"
"Maybe you should have thought of that before you tried to kill me!" Marva shouted.
"The only thing I was thinking about then was that time in Spain!" Hiccup said in exasperation. "And I'm sorry, Marva, I'm really sorry I snapped like that, but at the same time, who made me snap in the first place?"
"Gort," Stoick said coldly, "I think both our children were at fault here. Perhaps everyone's been at fault. Now, we've been friends for a long time, and I especially do not want this to cause a rift now when we need you so much, so I'll leave it to you to decide what the punishment should be for this." He was still really angry with Marva, but he was also anxious to patch this up.
Gort considered. "I thought we were supposed to be allies, Stoick. Do you expect me to side with people who threaten my own child?"
Hiccup's palms began to sweat.
"Yeah Dad, tell them off for once!" Marva said encouragingly,
It was the wrong thing to say. Gort turned to look at her furiously. "And Marva: do you expect me to stand by idle while you bully our allies? I haven't heard you apologizing for anything yet! After all these years I've put up with your disrespect to me, but you've gone too far today! Go to your cabin this minute! I'll decide what to do with you later."
"Now look here, dad—"
"This minute, Marva!" Gort shouted.
"And I suppose Useless here gets off scot free?" Marva shouted back.
"No he does not! But that's none of your business! You get to that cabin right now and you will stay there until I have dealt with you! That's an order from your Chief and if you disobey it again—!"
"Like you have any—"
"Marva, push my temper any further and I might just strangle you myself!" Gort roared. Marva hesitated and then stormed out shouting a string of profanities. Gort had gotten to his feet during the shouting and now he sat down wearily. "I just don't understand it. I've been able to control everything in my tribe except her and death." He turned to Hiccup, "Hiccup, I'm not happy one bit with what's happened, but I agree neither side is blameless. So, since she refuses to do this herself, I'm sorry about what happened today. Her behavior was inexcusable,"
"So was mine," Hiccup said glumly. Toothless gently nuzzled his side.
"Stoick, I'm not blind," Gort laughed humorlessly, "I know we mustn't split up our alliance now. So…" he mused a minute. "Hiccup, I will make three demands for this. We still have a lot of weapons to sharpen. You'll sharpen them until sunset—and no help from your dragon friends either."
"Agreed,"
"Secondly, when this fight is over, I claim half the booty."
Hiccup looked at the other Chiefs. Bertha looked a bit annoyed but Stoick was relieved that things were calming down. "I agree to that, and if the amount is not enough to satisfy, I can provide more loot for all parties,"
Bertha stirred. "You can?"
"Yeah," Hiccup smiled slightly. "I don't bring it up very often, but I'm rich,"
"How rich?" Bertha asked eagerly, but Stoick interrupted her "What's the third demand, Gort?"
"Never let this happen again," Gort said sternly.
Hiccup nodded humbly.
"And seeing that my daughter provoked you first, here are my concessions. I agree that Marva should not ride a dragon into the fight. In fact, I'm thinking of not letting her join the fight at all. She won't like that. Oh don't worry: I'll punish her in other ways too. The decks could do with some scrubbing, among other things,"
"So we are still allies?" Stoick asked,
"Yes," Gort said dismissively, "I can't fight Drago alone and I can't in good conscience leave your tribes to his mercy either. The plan should proceed as we agreed earlier today: the day after tomorrow we sail. And my weapons had all better be sharp by then—"
Hiccup quickly left the Hall.
"Do you think we can keep this quiet?" Stoick asked, "for the sake of our alliance?"
"Knowing Marva, she's probably shouting about her side of events at anyone within earshot," groaned Gort, "I imagine the whole island will know it all within the hour,"
"And Hiccup's side will soon be told too," Bertha pointed out, "I imagine the other Riders will see to that,"
And they were right, but the reaction was not as bad as they feared, mostly because most of the Owl Guts Vikings did not like Marva. She was for many the Owl Gut's answer to Mildew. In fact, a small handful secretly wished Hiccup had squeezed Marva's neck a little longer. Snotlout, Gustav, Cami, and the Twins meantime were very vocal in Hiccup's defense, describing dramatically how he had dealt with a rampaging Screaming Death and making a sympathetic case of provocation whenever the strangling part was brought up. Fishlegs was equally vocal in defending Hiccup but less dramatic about it. As for Astrid, she had shut herself up in her room without speaking to anyone, nobody quite understood why.
And now that everyone knew about Hiccup's fits and the reason for them, it was apparent that most people were on his side rather than Marva's in this case. And when people saw Hiccup working without rest at sharpening swords and compared that to Marva screaming and throwing things against the wall in her cabin, they sympathized with the Dragon King even more. Ironically, nearly wrecking the alliance by attacking a Chief's daughter seemed to actually gain Hiccup more support.
The fact that Hiccup was sharpening weapons reminded those who saw him about the prospect of going to battle and the work that came with it. This made most of the Vikings put the day's events behind them quickly. They had more pressing matters to worry about. And in an attempt to help draw the tribes closer together and improve morale, Stoick announced he had decided to throw another dinner party that night.
Sitting with Meatlug in the Arena that late afternoon, Fishlegs could not bring himself to care about any of the politics or the reactions or the party. All he could think about was the fact that during that whole scene earlier that day he had done virtually nothing to stop it. It was like the night Hiccup had revealed himself: everyone had stood around watching and listening but for some reason nobody did anything more until something terrible had happened.
"I just can't think of an excuse, Meatlug," he said miserably, "I promised myself I would try to make amends to Hiccup, that I would try to be a stronger person, and what happens? Hiccup nearly has a breakdown thanks to Marva and then he nearly kills her and I do nothing to stop it! Nobody did! Why? I try to defend us, but I just don't know!" he slammed his fist into the ground but instantly regretted it. "OW!"
"Something the matter?" Camicazi came in from behind him. Fishlegs was suddenly rather sweaty. He knew he had vowed to be a stronger man, but that vow had been made without the consideration of beautiful women in close proximity to him. So he was suddenly about as nervous and shy as he had been when he was fifteen.
"N—no, nothing's wrong," he said. Camicazi gave him a warm smile that made him suddenly relax. "Actually, yeah, something's wrong. I just feel really ashamed of myself—again."
"With what happened, I'm guessing?"
"Why didn't anyone do anything, Cami?"
"Fish," Camicazi said grimly, "I know there's no good excuse for it, but sometimes something bad happens and all anyone can do is stand and watch. Sometimes an argument gets so personal and intense you don't know how to interfere."
"That doesn't make me feel any better,"
"I doubt anyone would feel better. But sometimes that's just the way it is."
"All right, look, I know most of us aren't really used to taking command of a situation like that—I know I'm not the type to mediate in most arguments and certainly Snotlout and the Twins aren't any better—but Astrid did nothing until Hiccup snapped. Astrid!"
"Yeah, I don't know what her excuse is," Cami said.
"Where is she, anyway?"
"Last I saw her she was heading home. That was shortly after we returned."
Meatlug suddenly decided that this conversation was too depressing. So she climbed into the lap of her rider and nearly flattened it with her weight.
"ARGH!" Fishlegs groaned.
"Whoa, Fish, are you okay?"
"Oh fine, just fine!" he grinned weakly, "never better!" Meatlug now began to roll around, as if expecting him to pet her. In doing so she banged him in the face with her club-like tail. "Not so fine anymore,"
Camicazi had to laugh at the sight of Meatlug in his lap, looking like a gigantic slobbery puppy eager for affection from its owner. "Do you two want to be alone or something?"
"I certainly wouldn't mind being alone with you, my dear lovely as a butterfly Camicazi," Snotlout now showed up, looking his usual self-inflated self. "Permit me to offer you this invitation to dinner tonight! I hear the meat is going to be exceptionally tender!"
"I'll bet you don't even know what half of those big words actually mean," Fishlegs mumbled.
"Well Snotlout, I would love to share this exceptionally tender meat with you tonight…" Cami replied with a tone to match his. She drew near to him as she spoke. Then she pulled away. "Except I'm a vegetarian,"
"What? Since when?"
"Since about two minutes ago. It's my latest life-changing decision." She abruptly ran off, light on her feet as a deer, before anyone could react to this.
"Hmm. It would seem the future Mrs. Lout is playing hard to get," Snotlout mused. He took a step forward but the movement suddenly made his pants start slipping.
"What the—what happened to my—THAT DIRTY LITTLE THIEF! CAMICAZI YOU GIVE ME BACK MY BELT!" Snotlout roared as he tried to keep his pants up and run at the same time. He tripped within a minute.
Fishlegs laughed as well as he could with Meatlug on top of him. He reached for his pocket to find his information card on Gronkles in the hopes he could figure out how to coax Meatlug to get off of him. But his pockets were somehow all empty.
"But I could've sworn I—CAMICAZI!" Meatlug, misunderstanding the situation, gave him a huge slobbery lick on the face.
Well out of earshot, in the Chief's cabin on the Bog Burglar Flagship, Camicazi put her latest spoils of war into a chest. "It's been a good haul today! And just wait until that dinner's over!"
Not everyone was in a cabin and happy. Marva had finally stopped shouting due to a very sore throat. Her father had not come to see her yet but she did not care about that. She had made up her mind. There was only one person in the world whom she respected, so what was she wasting her time here for? She knew where he was now and even better she knew what the plans of his enemies were. That would make an excellent gift for him. The only problem would be getting to him. She had heard during a lull in her shouting that there was a dinner that night. What better time to slip away than when everyone was busy stuffing themselves and gossiping? Oh yes, she was getting out of here tonight.
Toothless glanced up at the sky.
"Not long before my human will be done and we can have some fun!" Toothless grinned with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "He's been too depressed today. I'll cheer him up!" He approached a rain barrel that was nearly full to the brim. "Hope this works,"
Hiccup put down the last sword into the sharpened pile. Sunset had arrived and so had Gort.
"Very impressive job, lad," Gort remarked, "I might just have to extend your sentence permanently,"
"I'd love to help, Gort, but I don't think Stoick would approve it being permanent," Hiccup replied with a slight smile. They made their way off the ship Hiccup had set up shop on and onto the docks.
"True," Gort sighed, "now what am I going to do with Marva?"
"Sir, I know you'll hate to hear this, but she idolizes Drago Bludvist. I think she should be confined somewhere until the war is over or she might betray us."
"And I hate to say it but I think you're right. I'll see to it," he looked about. A Chief was almost never allowed to be outside without his tribesmen gathering around him and this was no exception. "So where's your Night Fury? For that matter, where are any of the dragons?"
"They went off for some more practice flights about an hour ago. Astrid's directing them." He remembered how serious and withdrawn she had appeared when she had suggested it. "Toothless is—right in front of me,"
Toothless had his cheeks puffed out, as if he was holding his breath. He got right in front of Hiccup and spewed water right into his face.
"—waiting to ambush me!" Hiccup shouted, his face and hair soaking wet.
"Surprise!" Toothless sniggered.
"You get over here you dirty little lizard!" Hiccup lunged for the dragon and grabbed his head playfully, "I'll teach you to mess with me like that!"
"You don't have to! I already know!" Toothless responded by tossing Hiccup onto the ground. Then he raised an arm and bonked him on the head. The crowd roared with laughter and so did Hiccup—until he swatted Toothless in the face. A small wrestling match now began, with Hiccup getting the worst of it. The crowd started cheering, with most of them rooting for the dragon after he looked at his audience with his enormous and cute green eyes. Then he slammed his head onto Hiccup's body and pinned him to the ground.
"Do you surrender?"
"This is so not fair! You're like ten times my weight!" Hiccup shouted.
"Don't change the subject! The advantage is clearly mine! Surrender and I might spare your other leg!"
"Surrender or I'll make you take a bath!"
"And just how are you going to do that?" Toothless grinned. "I'm like ten times your weight!"
"I'll put you to sleep with dragon nip and I'll get others to help me drag you to the bathhouse!"
"HOLY SHEEP!" Toothless leapt off his human.
"You see?" Hiccup called to the crowd. "Where physical strength fails words will succeed!"
"And then physical strength will come back for the final blow!" Toothless said and he tripped Hiccup with his tail. The crowd went wild with laughter again.
Hiccup picked himself up slowly. "All right, all right, you win,"
"Naturally,"
Hiccup looked around at the crowd. "You see, everybody? The Unholy Offspring of Lightning and Death and the so-called "Dragon King", wrestling around like a kid playing with a dog—"
"And you're obviously the dog,"
"Compare that with both of us trying to kill the other, and which would you prefer? You can all guess my answer," he turned around, "come on, Bud, let's go flying. See where the others have gone."
"Fine with me, but I left my flight stuff in the arena,"
Toothless had only diverted his human's depression, not cured it, but still, sometimes a momentary release makes it more bearable.
As they moved to the arena Stoick joined them.
"So," he said at last, "you've been quite busy today, haven't you? Training riders, nearly getting killed with a Screaming Death, nearly destroying our alliance, and now sharpening a few hundred weapons,"
"Yes, well, idle hands are the devils tools, so they say," Hiccup replied, his relieved mood fading rapidly into something bitter.
"Not this time by the sound of it," Stoick said sternly,
Hiccup sighed. "Do you think I'm proud of everything I've done? But honestly, out of all those charges you've brought up, I'm only guilty of the third one, I think. And even in that case I was not the sole aggressor,"
"No, you weren't," Stoick said softly. "But if you'd restrained yourself you wouldn't have been the aggressor at all,"
Hiccup bit back his first retort and said instead "So it's my fault all that stuff happened? As always?"
"Son—"
"You asked me to come back so we can start again, but honestly I'm getting the sense nothing has really changed except the fact that there's a few winged reptiles roaming freely! What was that you told me? 'Every time I step outside disaster happens.' I get the feeling you're going to say it again. And lately I've been starting to wonder if it's true."
"I didn't mean to imply that, Son. I just meant you shouldn't have reacted the way you did."
"So if you punch Mildew for insulting Mom it's fine but when I throttle Marva—oh what am I saying, I know I shouldn't have reacted that way, I don't need you to remind me of that, but even so—" he looked up at the sky. "Gods, why can't this day just end already?"
Stoick suddenly laughed. "I often ask that meself. After a hard day of being a Chief where I try my best and yet nobody's happy with the results and all the problems I had to deal are still present, I just want it to end and go to bed. Speaking of which, I do have to thank you for one thing." He grinned, "After you disappeared we stopped having those night raids, so it's thanks to you I've slept well a lot during the past few years."
"Glad to be of service," Hiccup said dryly, "I've mostly slept well too. Sleeping next to a dragon is remarkably comforting."
"I can believe it." Stoick had meant to lighten the mood but now he chose to darken it with another question. "If you don't mind my asking, why didn't you tell me about Spain?"
"I didn't want anyone to know about it. If I'd gotten my way I'd have gone to my grave with nobody but Toothless knowing about it." He said heavily.
"I see," Stoick sighed, "Hiccup, if I'd know how Marva was going to behave—"
"We all should have expected it. I thought maybe if I got her up there on a dragon she might—it worked on nearly everyone else, including you,"
"Still, what was she thinking, trying to threaten a Screaming Death? And I must say, from what I've heard, well, you acted a bit more—rashly than I would have liked, but still, you handled the situation pretty well,"
"Until the aftermath, yes I know,"
They reached the arena and Hiccup began putting the saddle on Toothless. As he did the other Dragon Riders came in for a landing. Everybody landed just fine except the Twins; Barf n' Belch flopped over and sent them rolling over the ground. Naturally they thought it was the best landing ever.
"How'd the training go?" Hiccup asked uncertainly,
"Fine," Astrid said evasively. She avoided his gaze, but he could not decide why exactly.
"Except for Gustav and Snotlout trying to impress Astrid in mid-air," Fishlegs added quietly. "You might wanna make them flight suits in case it happens again,"
"You know I always hoped my final years as Chief would be quiet and peaceful," Stoick said loudly, for the Twins were wrestling around again.
"Well, I'm going out for a flight," Hiccup announced, "I don't know when I'll be back, don't wait up for me, I'm not used to it and it might be a long wait,"
"Hiccup," Fishlegs said at once, "I want to talk to you—"
"Not now, Fishlegs,"
"But I—"
"Not now," Hiccup repeated. His gaze was icy. "I need to clear my head,"
"And I need to clear mine too," Fishlegs replied, "I feel like I let you down earlier today, that I was just doing what I always did when we were younger, sitting and watching while you got bullied and doing nothing about it, and I want to apologize and know what I can do to make it right!" He took a deep breath, "How can I make this right?"
"That goes the same for me," Snotlout abruptly said.
Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "Did you put on a different belt?" Camicazi giggled. He looked around and saw everybody was now looking at him with the same expressions. "All right, guys, if you want to know what can be done to make this right: learn from it and never bring it up again."
Astrid watched them fly away with a pained expression on her face. Out of all the others she had probably been the most upset by what had happened. So ashamed in fact she at first could not bring herself to face Hiccup. She had only taken the Riders out flying because she had needed a distraction or she might have gone crazy. And when they had landed she had badly wanted to apologize and talk to him—except she wanted to do it with nobody else around. And she promised herself she would do just that when he returned.