Leaving Edward behind was probably one of the hardest things I had ever done. The look on his glorious face when I last saw him was, well, desolate. That image would be forever ingrained in my mind. And this was only the beginning. I know I would still see him at school, and no doubt I may bump into him in the forest, but, I couldn't imagine his expression being as dejected as it was tonight. I had no idea how to make this right, now. What we did tonight, should never had happened. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. Entirely mine. I sought him out with the full intention of explaining to him why 'we' could never be, but found myself fuelling his hopes (and mine, for that matter), only to burn him down in flames when I had fulfilled my need for him. I was utterly selfish, and now, disgusted with myself. I rubbed absently at my chest as I slowed my pace before reaching home. I needed just a little more time to think, and I knew Azriel would sleep a while yet. Staying within the tree line, I walked slowly around the perimeter of my home, hoping that Edward had left for home, but secretly wishing I would meet up with him again.

"Fuck! Get a grip Maeryn!" I hissed to myself. I needed to stop with the obsession I had with Edward. True, it wasn't just an obsession. It was more than that. Way more, but I would treat it as lightly as I could. It would be the only way to try and get over it. There were other things I had to deal with, important things, and I had to try and clear my mind of all distractions. I toyed with the idea of skipping school for another week or two, so as I wouldn't see him. That was a no go though, as I had already had enough time off. If I were to maintain the human façade, I would need to go to school. My only option was avoidance. I would avoid him and fill my evenings with Azriel and my training. I would rid myself of all unhealthy thoughts and memories of this night. Azriel would be a good distraction, as he was a great training partner, and I knew he would keep me busy.

Azriel. That was another problem. I knew now that I could never pretend with him. Not after tonight. Plus, it wouldn't be fair on him to do so. I owed him so much after all the years he has spent guiding me. I couldn't hurt him like that, so he and I would remain friends, and nothing more. I would not encourage him in any way. And yet, I had encouraged another. And by the look on his face earlier, I had also destroyed him. My stars, what was I going to do? I can never take it back, but I could never move forward from it, either. Not without hurting him more. I couldn't move yet, as this was the area my parents had placed me in to protect. I was this sleepy little towns' ward, and I had a duty to fulfill. So, no. Moving was not an option. So what, then? There was only one option, one I had earlier. Avoid him as best I could. The thought of not interacting with him hurt badly, but it was all I could do now. I took a deep breath, cleared my mind as best I could, and walked back toward home.

The next two weeks passed in a blur. Edward wasn't at school at all, and I hadn't seen him around the forest either. It was a small blessing. I hadn't asked about him, but Bella and Alice spoke of him at lunch one day. Apparently, he needed some time away, and had went to visit some family friends. Alice didn't elaborate any more, and Bella didn't ask. I was thankful, but it had hurt to think I had pushed him away from his family and home. From me. Azriel was suspicious of my despondency the first few days, but I managed to gather myself enough to calm his thoughts. We trained vigorously, and I asked for extra hours to keep myself occupied. He left happily enough, promising to return when there was any news on the battle front, or if I needed him. It was only in the dead of night that I would let my walls down. My body ached for some sort of release, and I did that through my silent tears. During the days and early evenings, I was occupied with school and training. I only let myself think of Edward when I was alone in my bed at night. I felt like my brain was warped, and falling apart. I couldn't get rid of my anguish and pain that I felt, and I'm sure it showed on the outside. Sometimes at school, I would slip and my thoughts would return, and I knew the guilt and pain showed on my face. Alice scrutinised me, but never asked what was wrong. I had an idea that she already knew.

So, Azriel was gone, and I was alone once again. I didn't know how I was going to keep occupied now, but I knew Alice would help if I asked. I didn't want to, as I knew she knew what had happened, and I would never be able to keep myself from breaking down in front of her. But I did ask her the following week. Edward still hadn't returned, and I was becoming consumed with a fierce pain, that I had to ask for her help. I text her, and asked if she could come by. I almost caved, and asked her not to bother, but I needed someone to talk to or I would go insane. She arrived five minutes later.

"Well, Maeryn. It's about time," she said, as I opened my door to her.

"Hi, Alice," I mumbled. It was all I could say.

"Look at you!" she exclaimed. "You're a mess! Have you eaten at all in the last three weeks? It sure doesn't look like it. And your complexion! You are paler than I am!" she almost screamed at me.

"Alice, please!" I moaned. "I just need someone to talk to, not a nursemaid!"

"For fuck sake, Maeryn! Look at you! You certainly do need someone to look after you, because you sure aren't doing a good job of it yourself! Now, sit the fuck down, and I'll make you something to eat. No arguments!" she scalded me when I started to argue back. "Then I'm running you a bath, and we will talk while you soak, okay?"

I nodded, looking at the ground. She seemed satisfied that I was compliant, and danced into the kitchen. I could hear her banging around, grumbling under her breath. I had never seen her angry before, and let me tell you, she was quite a sight. Scary, but beautiful at the same time. She returned with some scrambled eggs and toast.

"Something light to begin with, I think," she said. "I don't want to upset your stomach more than it already is. Now, eat," she ordered.

I ate slowly as she eyed me warily, making sure that I ate all I had on the plate. I didn't realise how hungry I was until I started to eat, and to my surprise, I finished the whole plate.

"Good girl," Alice praised. "Now, bath time. Come on."

I followed her upstairs and she ran my bath water, while I looked out some clean pyjamas and underwear. I wasn't going out again tonight, so that would do. I wasn't looking forward to our conversation, as she was mad enough without her knowing all the gory details. I knew she knew, but I also knew she wouldn't know everything. Edward would have told her enough to explain why he had to leave, but knowing him, no more than that. I would need to get everything off my chest, and I do mean everything. So, I would have to tell her what I did, and how I felt about it now, and hopefully, she could help me decide what to do about it. My mind was mush, and had lost the capacity for rational thought when Azriel had left. With more time to myself for thinking, the more my head ached with the jumble of thoughts.

"Maeryn?" Alice snapped. I blinked rapidly.

"Sorry," I murmured. "I was lost there for a second."

"I have been calling you for about thirty seconds. Come on, your bath is ready, and don't give me any bullshit about you being embarrassed to be naked in front of me. You have nothing more or less than I have, so I am coming in to talk to you. Whether you like it or not," she commanded. I nodded in acquiescence, and trudged toward the bath.

I undressed as quickly as I could, but found myself still blushing brightly, knowing that she was watching me. I kept my back to her as I climbed into the hot water, and was pleased to see she had poured some bubble bath into the water. I moved the suds around, trying to hide my modesty. I snorted. Loudly. Modesty. That was a laugh. I threw that out the window whilst I was using Edward. I cringed and flinched at that thought.

"Okay, if I didn't know better," Alice began. "I would say you were bi-polar. Laughing at yourself one second, and berating yourself the next. Talk. Now."

"You are so demanding sometimes, Alice," I snapped at her.

"Hoorah! She does have emotions!" she replied, sarcastically. "Maeryn, seriously though. I've been worried out of my mind about you. You have been walking around like a zombie these past few weeks, and I thought you had been replaced by a cyborg, or something. Everything you have been doing has been so robotic. Please, talk to me."

I snickered slightly. "I'll have you know, I am nothing like a zombie. They are all gooey and gross." She looked at me, wide eyed.

"Really?" she asked. I nodded.

"But not here, though. Zombie's are real in other realms, though we call them walkers."

"Fuck!" she squealed with delight. "Wait until I tell Jazz and Emmett. They will never believe me!"

I laughed a little louder at her eagerness, but followed through with a deep sigh. I supposed I would have to begin sometime. I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again quickly. Where did I begin? While I was contemplating, Alice started to rinse my hair and began washing it. It felt good. Really good. Relaxing. She was doing it to try and calm me, and I was grateful to her.

"What did Edward tell you?" I asked, as I closed my eyes. It was a good a place as any to begin. She didn't stop her soothing routine, as she answered.

"Not much. He said you and he had spoken together, and that you told him there was no chance to be together. So, he decided he needed some alone time."

Ever the gentleman. I smiled slightly.

"So, he's a mess and you're a mess. That is not healthy. What are you going to do about it?" she asked, rinsing my hair with fresh water. I sighed.

"There's nothing I can do about it, Alice."

"Bullshit! You are both wasting away not being with one and other, and it's only been three weeks! How do you think you both will fair after three years? Thirty? Three hundred?"

"It's really not that simple, Alice. There are too many equations to consider. I can't fulfill my role here if I am mated to a vampire. There are consequences," I muttered.

"I don't believe that," she replied, in a whisper. "There has to be some way around this. Don't you understand? Being mated isn't a choice. He was obviously made for you, as you were for him. Fate and destiny work in mysterious ways, Maeryn. They made a plan for the both of you, and this is the way it was meant to play out. You and Edward are meant to be together. Maybe there is some role they want you both to play when you are together. Maybe this world needs you and him both. There is a reason for everything, you just need to find that reason."

I thought about that. Was she right? Was it our destiny to be together? I wanted to see it, but I couldn't. I frowned.

"Maeryn, I really think you need to speak with your parents about this."

"No!" I interrupted, but she held up her hand, silencing me.

"Please, Maeryn. You need to speak with them. They must know something about this. After all, they were the first, yes?"

"Yes, but …"

"No 'buts'. You need to talk to them. They may be able to help you, after all. Azriel said he didn't speak with them about it, right? He was only looking into the histories for you. You have to try, at least. You know you are practically dieing not being with him, and he's the same. It will eventually kill the both of you if you deny it any longer. Then where would this world be, without you?"

She did have a point, but I didn't want to admit it. The thought of disrespecting and dishonouring my parents, was enough to make me want to stall talking to them. They would be so disappointed in me, I just knew it. There was a lot more I had to think about now, and it made my head ache. I rubbed at my temples.

"I'll think about it," I muttered, as I stood to get out of the bath.

"Well, do it quickly, Maeryn. Edward's coming back Monday."

"Oh, no," I moaned. My heartbeat skipped, then plummeted almost immediately. The thought of seeing him again was exhilarating and excruciating at the same time. I didn't want to see any more hurt on his face, but I did want to see his face again. My stomach was fluttering at the thought he would be home soon, and then it was tightening up, threatening to expel the eggs I had just eaten. Alice was scowling at me.

"Yes. You really should decide quickly," she said. "You look terrified and way too happy at the same time. You're rubbing at your chest while looking like you are about to throw up. You need to sort this. For both of your sakes. Come on. Get dried off, and if you want me to, I will spend the night."

"Please," I agreed. I really didn't want to be alone now, not after our talk. I was grateful to her, and even more grateful that she hadn't probed any more about that night in the woods. Though, the evenings could be very long, and she may want to ask more later. I cringed slightly.

She helped me dress, as I was too busy with my thoughts to register what to do. She was chatting about everyday things, like school and how she was going to give me a makeover in the morning. She said I looked like death and needed some help to bring me back to the living. I snorted. She slapped my arm, but chuckled, too. She called Jasper to let him know that she wouldn't be home, and asked if he would drop off some clothes for her. My eyes went wide. I didn't want him to see me in this state, and Alice guessed correctly, and told him not to bother. She said she would run over later for her things. She made me some hot, sweet tea, and told me to sip it, as it would help me feel a little better. She sat the mug on the coffee table, and moved to sit beside me, when her face went blank and her eyes glazed over.

"Oh!" Alice said, as her face regained animation. "He's coming home tonight, instead."

I started hyperventilating.

"Calm down, Maeryn. It will be good for the both of you to see one and other again. Your anguish and despair will fade when you see him, and his, too. You will feel better, and then maybe you will be able to think more clearly about what to do."

She was right, and I knew it. Seeing him again may clear my mind long enough to decide what to do.

"Your right," I mumbled. "When will he be arriving?"

"He's not sure what time he's leaving, he only knows it's tonight. I think he doesn't want to appear rude and leave too abruptly. He will be choosing the right moment."

I only nodded, and couldn't stop the smile appearing on my face. My heart skipped a beat again, as I rubbed at my chest.

"See? You're starting to feel better already!" Alice exclaimed. I faced her, and gave her a warm smile.

"Yes, a little. Thank you, Alice."

She simply waved her hand at me, and flicked through the TV for a movie to watch. "I'll let you know when I see more," she promised. I nodded, and snuggled down into the sofa and faced the TV. I dozed off and woke up with my heartbeat racing. The pain in my chest was dissipating, and I knew he was close.

"He's home," I whispered, to no one. Alice wasn't here. She must have left to collect her things while I was sleeping. A small smile curved my lips. Edward was home. I raced upstairs to change, as I wanted to run into the forest, hoping he would be there. For once, I didn't stop myself. Alice was right. We were meant to be together, and I wouldn't stop us now. If destiny had a plan for us, then we would iron out the wrinkles later. Right now, I needed to be with him, and if what Alice had said was true, he needed me just as much. As I was changing, there was a knock at the door. Alice must be back.

"Come in!" I shouted down, and I heard the door opening. It wasn't Alice, though. I could smell him as soon as he walked in. I raced downstairs, and almost bulldozed right into him.

"Edward," I whispered. He smiled warily, probably waiting for me to tell him to leave. That was not about to happen. I launched myself at him, and embraced him fiercely. He sighed, so softly, into my hair.

"I am so sorry, Edward. Please, forgive me?" I whispered, as a tear rolled down my face, and my chest loosened it's grip around my heart.

"I already have," he whispered, and removed me from his arms, so he could look at me. He traced his fingers down my cheek, along my neck, and back up to my head. "Maeryn," he said, with reverence, before leaning toward me, and placing the sweetest of kisses along my jaw line. "I have missed you, so much. I had to come back."

"I'm glad you did," I whispered, returning his kiss. "Don't ever leave again. I couldn't take it."

"Never," he hissed. "I shall be here always. We will work things out. You'll see," he promised. He was staring so intently into my eyes, I knew he was speaking the truth. Things had to work out, for there was no other way for us now. We were together, and always would be. As we stared at each other, his eyes blackened. Mine blazed, and the need in our eyes was so evident. We didn't need to utter another word to each other. He grabbed me, and took me upstairs, where we spent the rest of the night moulded to one and other.