okay first off, i'm sorry its been so long
also second off(lol), dnt hate me bc theres a lot of focus on john in this chapter but i think its necessary okay its gonna be okay
That evening, Phil replied with, This is?
It's dan, was Dan's response.
Oh hey how are you? Phil sent him, and they began chatting throughout the evening.
"Who are you texting?" Chris asked Dan teasingly when Dan had moved into the chair off to the side.
"Uhm, no one," Dan said, glancing up from his phone.
"It's Phil, isn't it?" Chris asked, deadpan. "What happened to "John's my boyfriends now meh meh meh?""
"I'm allowed to talk to people other than John," Dan argued.
"I guess, but only if your intentions are purely innocent," Chris said.
PJ was watching the exchange, looking between Chris and Dan. He appeared to be siding with Chris, but did not say anything.
Dan couldn't say whether his intentions were purely innocent, but he could say he didn't intend on cheating on John. He was now in a relationship with John and didn't want to betray his trust. It was the decision he made, it would make no sense for him to go against his own decision.
"I'm not about to cheat on John," he said.
"I didn't say you were," Chris said. "Just-, be careful."
"I know," Dan said.
Dan talked with Phil well into the night. He could say that it was possible he didn't truly know Phil, but he found himself diving into deeper topics than any he had with John. He had plenty in common with John, but that seemed to be the limit to their connection.
He learned that he had a lot in common with Phil as well. Their attraction to each other, included.
Over the week Dan continued to text Phil whenever he wasn't in class. They spoke over the phone as well. The evenings, when he would talk to Phil over the phone, became his favorite time of the day very quickly. Especially when he would sit up in bed, in his pajamas, with Phil's voice coming through the phone low and soft. He would fall asleep each night with Phil's voice echoing in his head, lulling him to sleep.
However, one night when he hung up with Phil, he saw he had a text from John that he missed while talking to Phil.
The text read: Hey what are you up to?
And Dan couldn't respond with, just been talking to my teacher who I'm attracted to in many ways, so he ignored it and lay awake, tossing and turning.
The followed week followed most of the same pattern. However, on Wednesday Dan and John walked together to the library after eating lunch. They turned in the books they had checked out during the previous visit and went to find new ones to check out. When they picked out new books they found a table to sit at and begin reading.
At some point during their stay at the library, John took hold of Dan's hand.
Dan looked up in response, then smiled at John's fond look.
He refocused on his book.
They spent a few minutes holding hands as they read, then Dan spotted a familiar figure from the corner of his eye.
He looked up to see Phil, standing near another table. He seemed to have been about to sit at the table he stood by. However, instead of sitting, he walked quickly towards the exit of the library.
"I'll be right back," Dan said to John, quickly putting a bookmark between the pages he was on and stood to follow Phil.
He followed Phil out into the frigid air and caught up to him on the pathway passed the steps into the building.
"Hey, wait," Dan said.
Phil stopped and turned to look at Dan with his jaw clenched.
"You probably shouldn't run out on your boyfriend like that," Phil said.
Dan felt as though Phil smacked him. His jaw fell open slightly.
"We were just reading," Dan said.
"I don't care," Phil replied. "I have papers to grade. I have to go."
Phil began to turn away, but Dan reached out to grab his hand.
"Stop. Please," Phil said.
Dan wasn't sure if Phil meant that he wanted him to stop being with John, or to stop preventing him from leaving. Maybe both.
"Why are you so jealous?" Dan asked him quietly.
"Because-!" Phil stopped himself and then continued quieter when he saw that passerby looked their way.
He leaned slightly closer to Dan and said, "You know why."
Dan did know. But he didn't think either of them were willing to admit it to each other yet.
With a thick voice, Phil said again, "I have to go."
Dan didn't say anything, so Phil turned and walked away. Dan watched him go for a moment, before returning to the library.
"What happened?" John asked Dan when he approached their table.
"Uhm, nothing. Just had a question for a teacher," Dan lied.
"Oh," John said.
"Uhm, I'm gonna go ahead and get out of here," Dan said as he began to collect his things.
John frowned, but said, "text me later or something."
"Okay," Dan said before walking away and leaving the library.
After Phil walked away from Dan, he walked to the school parking lot to find his car. Once inside the car, he put his laptop bag on the passenger seat and started the engine. He turned on the heater and waited for the car to warm up with one hand on the gear shift, the other on the door.
He seemed to be experiencing a perpetual coldness deep inside his chest. The car grew warm, but he was not comforted by it. He sighed heavily and then began to pull out of his parking space.
He drove home in a numb blur.
That evening he cooked, but only because he knew he should eat something.
As he stood by the stove, mixing asian sauce into his stir-fry, his phone rang. He stepped over to where it was plugged in and laying on the kitchen counter. He saw that it was Dan calling. He wanted to answer, but also did not want to answer. He swiped to the right, to ignore Dan's call.
Because he could talk to Dan all he wanted, but would never truly have him.
Phil frowned as he stared into the sizzling vegetables on his stove.
He thought he understood that Dan liked him as well.
If he did, why would he be with someone else? Why would he continue to talk to him if he didn't return Phil's feelings any longer?
A few minutes later, as Phil put his stir-fry onto a plate, his phone lit up and buzzed again. Upon closer inspection, he saw that it was Dan texting him.
The text read, Do you want to talk?
He ignored that as well and sat down to eat.
The following week at school Dan waited outside Phil's classroom with a few other students. When Phil walked around the corner and down the hall to the classroom, Dan felt a pang in his chest.
Phil determinedly stared ahead as he walked down the hall passed the students to unlock the door for them. He was hyper-aware of Dan looking his way.
"Good morning, guys," he said, as cheerfully as he could muster. However, his greeting came out soft and tired-sounding.
Phil propped the door open after unlocking it and sat at his desk. The students filed in and found places to sit.
While Dan was facing the opposite wall, Phil looked his way and let out a deep sigh. Dan turned to slip into the chair at the desk he chose and Phil tore his eyes away.
Phil began to prepare for his lecture for the day as more students arrived. Once the class was full he started the session.
As he lectured he avoided Dan's eye with a lot of difficulty. He felt his gaze burning holes into him. He was dreading the time when the class would end and Dan would surely be the last one in the classroom.
So as soon as he completed the lecture and set the next assignment, he packed up his things. He left the classroom between two pairs of students.
Dan was shocked at the level of avoidance Phil was treating him with. He could dwell on nothing else for the rest of the day.
He supposed, however, that he didn't blame Phil. How could they continue to talk, while Dan was with John? He thought that maybe he was mistaken in agreeing to be John's boyfriend. But Dan still wondered about the true nature of his feelings for Phil. Did he simply want him because he couldn't have him?
He supposed that only time could tell.
And time went on.
November went by in a blur and they were nearing the end of Dan's semester. Which meant that he would no longer be in Phil's English class. Phil would no longer be his teacher.
Dan respected Phil's feelings by not forcing any interaction between them. However, when Phil rested his eyes on Dan during a lecture, he grew very warm in a pleasant way. Phil made a small pause in his lecture at this moment as well, cleared his throat, and continued.
Dan continued to see John as well. They had a date planned during the beginning of December. John seemed well excited for it, but Dan began to dread it the more excited John became.
As much as Dan wanted to cancel, he couldn't think of a proper excuse that John wouldn't see through. So on the night of, he apprehensively got ready. He picked out a button up shirt and a pair of nice jeans. He opted for one of his nicer coats as well, and hung that over his desk chair for when John arrived to pick him up.
Dan looked at himself in the mirror when he was dressed.
He felt he knew why John was so excited for that night and came to the realization that he might have to make an important decision. He began to dread the date even more. But John was arriving soon and it was too late to cancel.
With a sigh Dan put his shoes on and waited in the living room for a knock to sound. Chris was heating up a frozen dinner in the oven and was waiting for it to finish while he watched Netflix.
"You look nice," Chris said.
"Thanks," Dan said flatly.
"You don't seem very excited."
"I'm not," Dan answered. "I'm dreading it. But it's too late to cancel."
"Why don't you break up with him?" Chris said. Over the passed few weeks it became apparent to Dan's friends that he began to enjoy John's company less and less.
"I think I might have to," Dan said. "Before things go any further."
"Oh," Chris drawled understandingly.
"This is kind of messed up," Dan said.
Chris looked at him with knitted eyebrows.
"I might have to break up with him on a nice date that he planned."
"That sucks, mate. But you have to do what's best for you."
"I would've canceled. But it's too late now," Dan reasoned.
As if on a cue, John knocked the following moment. Dan got up and walked to the foyer and opened the front door.
"Hey," Dan said.
"Hey," John said with a bright smile. He looked up Dan's body appreciatively. Dan noticed and tried not to be uncomfortable.
"Let me grab my coat," he said.
Dan left John under the threshold to the flat and went to his bedroom to grab his coat and wallet.
When he returned he and John left the flat and walked to the end of the hall to the lift. Dan decidedly slipped his hands into his pockets so that he wouldn't have to hold John's.
John asked Dan about his day. He always appreciated John's thoughtfulness and kindness. He was a great friend but that was all Dan thought of him as.
"So I'm actually borrowing my friend's car for tonight so we don't have to take the bus," John said when they reached the ground level of Dan's building.
Dan's guilt rose. John put a lot of thought into this date.
John led Dan to a car parked on the street. Dan made it a point to open his door himself, knowing that John would try to. Dan didn't want to lead John into thinking that this date would end up exactly where he was most likely hoping it would.
When John climbed in on the other side of the car, he started the engine and pulled away from the curb. He drove further downtown near the mall as he chatted to Dan about his own day.
John parked in a large parking structure on an upper floor, close to the stairs and lifts. They took a lift down to the ground level and then exited the lift when the doors opened. They walked along the shops until they reached one of the finer restaurants of the mall.
Dan thought he couldn't be any more guilty and resolved to pay the bill when the time came, so that John would not have to.
"You're being awfully quiet," John remarked as they walked up to the restaurant.
"I'm just, you know, thinking," Dan said.
"Well, don't hurt yourself," John replied jokingly.
Dan wanted to say that it wasn't himself that he was worried about and he felt that in the kindest way possible.
Upon entering the restaurant they were put on a list to be seated, so they took their coats off and sat on a bench off to the side. Dan made an effort to be more talkative.
They were seated within fifteen minutes in a booth. Their server approached their table almost right away, so they ordered drinks. Their drinks were brought to them a few minutes later.
When their served asked if they were ready to order John asked, "Can we have a couple more minutes actually?"
"Of course," their waitress smiled and walked away.
John and Dan both continued to look over their menu, discussing menu items and what sounded best.
They both settled on something to eat and then put their menus on the end of the table. Their waitress stopped at their table to take their order and then walked away again.
Dan went quiet, thinking that if he went to the restroom, it would be the best opportunity to pay for the bill while John was unaware.
"Uhm, I'm gonna go use the restroom," Dan said.
"Okay," John replied.
Dan stood up and went to the front of the restaurant where he found the hostess that greeted them.
"Is everything going okay?" she asked, as Dan approached.
"Yeah, I just wanted to pay for the bill. Can you get my server?" Dan asked the host.
"Absolutely," the host said.
The host walked away, as the second hostess greeted a party coming in. Dan moved off to the side.
A few minutes later the hostess, followed by Dan and John's waitress, came up to the front.
"You wanted to pay your bill?" She asked.
"Yeah," Dan said. "Is that okay?"
"Of course."
The waitress gave Dan a check book, but without looking at the bill amount, Dan handed her his card.
"Okay, thank you," she said. "I'll run this for you and bring it right back."
The waitress walked away and returned with the check book and a pen to fill out the receipt. Dan made sure to leave a tip at twenty percent of the bill. He returned to his and John's table.
Dan realized he was gone for a suspiciously long time, but John didn't comment.
They were brought their food within another ten minutes and they dug in. They both enjoyed the food and John eventually asked for the bill.
"He took care of it already," the waitress said with a smile as she laid their drink refills on the table.
"What?" John said.
"Yeah," Dan jumped in. "I wanted to pay for it."
"Oh, so that's why you were in the restroom for so long," John said jokingly.
The waitress laughed and asked, "Is there anything else you guys need?"
"No, we're okay," John said. "Thank you."
They finished the last of their food and then got up to leave.
They walked back to John's car. Dan was so deep in thought, that he didn't realize he left his hand available for holding until John took hold of it.
Dan began to panic. Especially when John began to say, "So I was hoping you'd come back to mine for tea and maybe some dessert."
"Uh," Dan began. "I don't know."
They stopped beside John's car.
"I mean, you don't have to. I just thought-, it's okay. Another time, maybe."
"John, I should actually say something," Dan said.
John dropped Dan's hand in response. He looked at Dan with wide eyes.
"I think we should just be friends," Dan said finally.
John blinked at him as if he couldn't believe what Dan had just said to him.
"I'm sorry," Dan added. "I really like you. But I think of you more as a friend."
John looked down at his feet with a sad, hurt smile.
"You know, I had a feeling this was going to happen." He looked at Dan for a moment. "I just couldn't actually believe it."
"I'm sorry," Dan said again.
John didn't say it was okay, or fight for the relationship, but simply said, "the bus stop is outside the parking structure."
Dan was slightly hurt by that at first, but reasoned that he did just break up with John. He didn't deserve to have feelings to be hurt at a time like this.
"Okay," Dan said.
Dan wasn't sure if he should say "bye" or "see you later," but that was answered for him when John didn't say anything but climb into his friend's car and start the engine.
Dan turned and headed for the lift to the ground level.
i promise the next chapters to come will be happy and good but this story might be one of my shorter ones also sorry to the people who thought dan and phil would have angry jealous sex because of john lol im trying to make this story realistic even tho it isnt that uncommon for students and teachers to hook up lol idk
anyways pls review and all that i will rlly appreciate it
and come say hi at yesiwritefanfics . tumblr . com