A/N: Didn't get this up as quickly as I meant to, but it is a lot longer than the other chapters, so..
Chapter 8: Discomposure
Dee's POV
Ryo had to be fucking Rose. With the way he fidgeted and squirmed, the way he avoided the topic. I shredded the label on my beer with my claws, clenching and releasing my jaw while I watched Rose hold up our sketch. I slouched in the corner of a booth, sulking and bristling at his his smug face, taking out more of my frustration on my beer's label.
It wasn't long before JJ came in with Drake. JJ met my eyes briefly, and I looked away first as dismissively as I could so he wouldn't try to sit with me. He stayed up at the bar with Drake and their drinks. They weren't talking much. JJ looked tense, Drake was almost solemn, or maybe just distracted. It didn't matter, as long as JJ was keeping his mouth shut about us.
Rose went through the routine of thanking the public for keeping their eyes open for our suspect and headed back into the precinct. Back in to where Ryo was "staying late." Would they meet in Rose's office? Would they stay in there, or would they leave for Rose's place? Or worse, ours? I wrestled with my doubts about whether they would be taking about work, or touching each other, breathing into each others' necks.
Tension wound its way up my shoulders, through my neck, and into my temples. I made to take a long pull from my beer and was disappointed to find I had finished it. I thunked it down harder than I intended just as Drake slid into the other side of the booth.
"Hey Dee!" He said over the music. I nodded at him and glanced around for JJ. "He's in the bathroom. Do you want another beer?"
"You buying?" I asked, grimacing in place of a grin.
"Sure!" He stood again, but paused. "I have something I want to talk to you about, but not with JJ around-" he glanced toward the bathroom and leaned close to me. "He said you've met his boyfriend, is that right?"
"Briefly." I said shortly.
"Okay. Well, it's not just that-" He glanced back again to see JJ approaching. "We'll talk later." He headed towards the bar and gestured to JJ for him to join me. JJ stepped side to side a few times as Drake reached the bar, trying to decide on a course of action. He grew more and more uneasy as he noticed me watching him. Defeated, he stiffly sat across from me, his own beer firmly clasped between his hands.
"Drake wants to talk to me about your 'boyfriend.'" I told him. "He doesn't want you to know. Any idea what that's about?"
"He's just worried about me." He half tilted his head to draw attention to the ripening colors spread across his face. "Can you really blame him?" I tightened my lips at his derisive tone, hands clenched on themselves as hard as I could stand to keep from reaching across the table and grabbing him. "I told him 'Reggie' wanted to see me tonight, and is going to make it up to me. He probably thinks he's going to hurt me again."
"He already punished you for changing times on him." I said lowly, leaning in on my elbows just a little and glancing at the dark stain on his shirt sleeve where I had put out my cigarette earlier. The agonized face he had gifted me in those few precious moments came back to me, and I could feel heat rise under my collar. "Would it be making it up if he promised to fuck you right later on?"
JJ froze in place and his blush could have been seen across the room. His hands lost their grip and half of his beer spilled across the table, narrowly missing my lap, and dribbling onto his own. I leaned back and watched him scramble to clean the mess he had made. His downcast eyes, trembling lips, and long eyelashes made my chest pound with lust. Drake chose then to come back with a bottle for each of us. He pressed into the booth, forcing JJ into the corner, where he couldn't escape from me casually taking in his flustered state.
"Everything alright?" Drake asked, drying more of the table off.
"Just clumsy." JJ excused quickly. "Me, I knocked- I'm clumsy." He avoided my stare while Drake settled in next to him. Drake couldn't read the vibe at the table, so he smiled over at me.
"So you and Ryo were away from your desks for a while, did you have a break in your case?"
"Hell yeah we did." I gestured up at the news where they were still flashing the sketch Mrs. Ramos had given us. I slid my new beer closer so I could take a long swig while Drake twisted in his seat to see. JJ leaned against the wall, elbow on the table so he could hold his forehead up. He watched me from under his bangs, still frazzled. I gave him a cruel crooked smile and addressed Drake again. "We had a witness come forward, Ryo's got me on call."
"That's great! We've been pretty stuck lately ourselves, right JJ?" Drake elbowed him in a gentle manner, JJ nodded.
"Really stuck." He answered quietly.
"Maybe you or Ryo could take a look at our case tomorrow? We could probably use a pair of fresh eyes." Drake lifted his eyebrows at me.
Sure." I answered cordially, mischievous ideas bubbling into my consciousness. Ideas that would further the perverse pleasure I was deriving from watching JJ's discomfort.
"That would be so great, Dee, thank you so much." Drake grinned and I took another long pull from my beer, waving Drake's thank you off.
"No problem, Drake." I exhaled, "We'd be happy to help. I've got to take a piss." I left my beer with them and hurried to the bathroom where I bypassed the men using the urinals to lock myself in the only stall. I checked my phone for messages from Ryo. Nothing. I turned the volume down to vibrate and paused to pee. Once I finished I stroked myself a few times, it was easy to get hard with JJ's chagrin so fresh in my memory. I imagined him growing hard next to oblivious Drake, struggling to hide his predicament. I snapped a few pictures of my hard flesh, a few of me stroking myself from different angles. I pushed my cock back into my jeans, leaving the top two buttons undone, and pulled my shirt up to tuck under my chin angled the front-facing camera so my face and the door behind me weren't in the shot. I chose the best one of my torso with the most flattering light and sent it to JJ.
This was sure to make him squirm. I pulled my shirt back down and tucked my phone back in my pocket before flushing and washing my hands before heading back out to them.
Drake was leaning back in the booth, his arm extended behind JJ on the back of the seat they shared, eyes on one of the TVs that was playing sports. JJ was twisted to lean against the wall in order to obscure the screen, and Drake didn't appear to be paying any attention to him. Good, because JJ was not controlling himself very well. He was rocking in his seat just a little bit, a look of disbelief on his face. When he saw me returning he lowered his phone, trying to look unaffected.
"You okay?" I asked as I sat back down and took up my bottle again.
"Fine." JJ jumped to say.
"What, you get something from Reggie?" I asked, leaning forward on my elbow and effectively bringing Drake back into the conversation. His arm came down from behind JJ to set a hand on his wiggling thigh. The back of my neck flooded with possessive prickles at the sight. It should be my hand gripping his leg. For me he would shiver, blush, unconsciously lean into me.
"You sure you're okay?" Drake asked quietly. "If you want me to go with you to see him tonight, I can." he offered. JJ glanced up at me, face beet red, eyes glassy, still reeling from the picture I had sent.
"No, no, it just, I wasn't expecting-" his sentence died off and he shut off his screen. "It was an inappropriate picture."
"Ooh, a nude?" I pried, just to watch him shake with nerves in front of Drake. "Do you usually get this worked up over nudes from your boyfriend?" I asked, giving him a sneaky smirk.
"He..." JJ hesitated and looked between Drake and I. "He's very attractive."
"I thought so." I said quietly. Drake seemed perplexed, but didn't want to bring up that it was JJ's attractive new boyfriend who had hurt him. That he had painted the nearly floral patterns over his eye and cheek, and pushed his blood and tears across his pale skin. I relived the feeling of his struggling body beneath me so vividly that it took me a moment to realize I had stopped breathing.
"I'm sorry, I just got a little flustered." JJ excused, putting his phone away and wiping his hands on his pants, chasing Drake's hand off of himself. Drake responded by rubbing JJ's back comfortingly, which almost pissed me off more.
"Just be careful with him, you know how he can get." Drake murmured, trying to speak as quietly as he could, but I could still hear. I dove deeper into my beer, irritated by his obvious attempt to warn JJ away from me.
"Seems like you two need to chill out a little." I grinned, "How about a round of shots on me?" Drake pointedly turned to JJ and squeezed his shoulder.
"Are you going to be okay alone with him after a few drinks?" He asked softly, and I stood to order the shots so I wouldn't snap at him for trying to block me at every turn.
"How about I just bring them over, and you drink what you're comfortable with." I said sternly, and left before they had a chance to protest. I ordered three rounds of shots, and once they reached the table JJ was quick to drink his share while Drake watched nervously and paced himself. Once they were gone and JJ had finished his beer, he was ready to dance. Drake and I moved to the bar near Ted and James, who were having an animated conversation while watching the game. I ordered three more beers and Drake put a hand on my arm.
"Hey, Dee, I didn't want him getting too wasted tonight." He leaned in to say, "He's seeing his boyfriend later and he needs to be cognizant."
"Why, what's going on with them?" I asked flatly, just to get the big spill out of the way.
"He doesn't want everyone to know, but he wasn't in a bar fight last night." I leaned an elbow on the bar and gulped more beer to steel my own nerves against what I knew he was going to say. "Reggie did that to him."
"Reggie?" I repeated, "No, not Reggie, he wouldn't have." I shook my head, and I had him convinced of my disbelief. "How are you so sure?" I asked when his firm look of discontent didn't change.
"JJ called me to his apartment, you should have seen it." He shook his own head and we both looked over at the dance floor where JJ was letting the music move him, and took long pulls of our drinks. "I wanted him to file a report but he refused. He said the guy has a family, that it would ruin him. But look at his face." I did, and a pulse of arousal hit me, followed by a wave of disgust with myself. "No one deserves that kind of treatment, especially not JJ. And no one who does that to a person deserves to walk free. To do do that to more people. Who knows, maybe to his wife as well, their children?
I stifled my laugh with a cough and quick gulp of beer at Drake's assumption that 'Reggie' was trying to maintain a heterosexual facade in his imaginary everyday life. But that's a straight man for you. I quickly finished the beer and frowned at Drake.
"I know being someone's partner is a very intimate part of our job," I started, taking JJ's beer in my hand. "But don't you think you're getting a little too close? I mean, meddling in JJ's private affairs?"
"But the guy is obviously dangerous-"
"I know, I understand that, and it is definitely concerning." I continued. "But JJ is an adult. He's perfectly capable of making his own choices and mistakes." Drake was taken aback and I let him be silent for a moment while I continued to try to drown out his words with more drink.
"You've known him the longest out of all of us, I didn't expect you to be so callous." He finally said, thumbing up the edge of the label on his bottle.
"I'm not being callous, I'm being a realist." I started working on the drink I had intended to give to JJ. I ordered another in its place before turning back to Drake. "How many people who enter an abusive relationship leave at the first sign of trouble? How many listen to their well-meaning friends and family who try to help them leave? Not many." I took up the fresh beer for JJ and took another long drink from the first one I meant to give him. The room was starting to blur and dancing started to sound good. "And then how many cut off the well-meaning friends when they try to bud in?" I asked sharply.
"Shouldn't you be taking it easy yourself? Aren't you on-call?" He responded cuttingly, clearly ruffled that I had pointed out that the current path he was on with JJ was a short one.
"Drake, think about it." I swayed toward him a little, tired of talking to him with his judgemental attitude, and ready to feel JJ up against me again. "Worry about yourself, man." I left him for the dance floor, and met JJ there to hand him the colder bottle, which he thanked me for with a smile. He danced with me for a short while, cautiously. We had eyes on us now, Drake watched us from the bar. I watched him back without directly looking at him until he left his unfinished drink and went to the restroom. JJ pulled me out of the crowd so he could drink more comfortably. On our way back to the bar I checked the time on my phone. There was maybe an hour and a half before Ryo would consider heading here. I quickly sent JJ a more raunchy picture with the caption 'Reggie needs to see you soon.'
JJ must not have felt the vibration of the message while he was walking. He found the more secluded corner of the bar itself and perched on a stool so he could lean back against the wall and look out over the floor.
"Check your phone." I told him, and he quickly did. I couldn't tell if he blushed that deeply, or if it was the alcohol, but he hurried to put his phone back in his pocket. I leaned into him in such a way that my body blocked any prying eyes from seeing my hand creep up between his legs and put my lips to his ear. "Give me your key, I'll wait inside in case Drake insists on walking you home. Tell him I got too drunk and went out for a walk." He shakily pulled out his key ring and slipped me his apartment key while I slowly, but firmly, slid my hand over his clothed yet already pulsing beast.
I left him, overwhelmed and teetering on his stool, paid my tab, and was out in the warm air on my way to his apartment. I lit a cigarette and checked my phone for messages from Ryo. Again, nothing. He must be busy with Rose. Hopefully with work, but I couldn't help seeing flashes of Rose kissing him, Ryo letting him touch him, Ryo touching him back, the flush of his post-coital expression.
I dialed the front desk of the precinct. Ryo would answer if I called our extension, and there would be no telling where he was, since it forwards straight to his damn cell phone. Whoever was manning the front answered with a chirp in their voice that I did not have the patience for.
"Is Ryo- er, Randy McClean in the office? This is Dee Laytner, his partner." I nearly snapped. They left me on hold to check, then No, they said, he is not in the office, they could page him if I wanted- "What about Chief Rose?" I asked gruffly, and Oh, he hasn't been in the office for at least two hours now, he left just after the press conference. Did you want me to try paging Detective McClean- I hung up without thanking them.
Ryo and Rose were gone. They were both off together, and had been for hours. Probably fucking, like I had imagined before.
I scarped the cherry off on the sole of my shoe and let myself into JJ's apartment and paced the living room. I sent JJ another filthy picture saying 'Let me know when you're almost here' and ended it with a wink. The alcohol was clouding my thoughts, but had sharpened a few of them. The pain of imagining Ryo betraying me with Rose as I stood here, preparing to do the same with JJ was making my skin crawl.
Knowing Ryo, anything he would be doing would be all tenderness, thoughtfulness, emotional bonding. It would probably be painfully vanilla as well. So I would get him back for it, by being sweet to JJ tonight. I would give JJ the attentiveness I reserved for Ryo. But with JJ I could still be just a little rough, I would siphon from him what Ryo couldn't give me.
Absolute control.
To pass the time, I checked in JJ's fridge. Nothing particularly interesting. When I noticed that the plate I had broken last night had not been cleaned up, I took it upon myself to do so. I located his broom and dust pan, and decided to sweep the whole kitchen. Once done, I ventured into the bedroom and looked over the mess I had left.
Dark stains from JJ's dried blood speckled the sheets, which were tangled and twisted across the mattress. I gathered them up, put them in the laundry basket and spent a few minutes finding where he kept the clean ones. While I was tucking the elastic corners of the fresh sheets under the edges of the mattress, a message came in from JJ saying he was on his way with Drake. I finished making the bed and put the extension cord back where I had gotten it. There was no need for it tonight, I would remain playful while building his trust enough to keep him from spilling more about our relationship to Drake.
But for now, where to wait? The kitchen was too close to the front door, Drake might come in a few steps in attempt to see JJ's boyfriend. The bedroom was almost a safe bet, but the bathroom was in there, and if Drake was aggressive enough about wanting to meet him, he would make an excuse to use the bathroom to get into the apartment. But he couldn't if I was already in there. I snapped on the light and turned on the shower. I carefully avoided the stream in order to open the small window above the tub. Now they would be able to hear the shower from the landing in front of the apartment. JJ would know where I was, and it would keep Drake from insisting on using the toilet. I hovered in the bedroom doorway, letting ideas and plans for the night come to me.
It wasn't long before I heard their footsteps outside the front door. Their voices were almost too muffled by the door and the shower running, so I closed the bathroom door and strained to hear them from the bedroom doorway.
"You're sure you're okay? You're not too drunk to handle him?" Drake was asking. "He's in the shower, he'll never know you came home-"
"The window's open, he can probably hear you." JJ reprimanded, "Besides, I live here, this is my home. It's not like he wont know where to find me at any given time-" I clenched my teeth and stepped back to push against the wall so I couldn't be seen from the entryway as he opened the door.
"Just please, be careful. If anything happens, anything at all, please call me." Drake implored, then his voice changed and became gentle, full of sweet notes of compassion. "You know I'll be here for you no matter what, right?"
"I know, Drakey." The soft sound of cloth rustling gave away that someone was fiddling with their clothes uncomfortably.
"Text me when you're going to bed, so I know you're okay." It was quiet while JJ thought it over.
"I'll do my best to."
"That's all I ask." Drake murmured, then there was a heavy rustling as they hugged, some grunts as Drake patted JJ's shoulder, JJ was not the patting type. I paused and listened harder, wondering if Drake had left yet. It took me a moment to realize that the hug hadn't even ended. That was a long hug for straight Drake, even drunk. Did Drake have a little crush? It took everything I had in me not to laugh imagining Drake struggling to come to terms with having a crush on JJ. A few moments later, they parted, and JJ closed the door after their quiet goodbyes. I left my hiding spot and JJ gave me a sheepish look.
"Does someone have a little crush?" I asked jokingly.
"What?" JJ asked, moving into his kitchen for a glass of water.
"Drake." I followed him in, watched his fingers fumble with the taps, he was woozy from all the alcohol I had fed him, and whatever he may have had after I left. He would be more vulnerable than I had anticipated.
"Drake? What do you mean?" He was confused, and he leaned his hip against the sink to puzzle at me. I didn't expect him to be as oblivious as Ryo was about me.
"Does Drake have a boy-crush on you?" I clarified, still light-hearted, keeping it comfortable.
"No," JJ brushed it off, but paused, then shook his head. "Drake is straight, I don't think so."
"Sure, alright." I rolled my eyes and moved toward him. He swayed slightly, intoxicated enough not to tense up at my approach, and set his glass down. He did eye me somewhat warily as I drew close. "I cleaned up that dish I broke." I said quietly, "I changed the sheets." I was close enough now to brush a few strands of hair away from the bruising on his face so I could see it better. I could feel the healing heat coming off his skin, his eyes blearily followed mine as I watched my own hand trace down his neck. I loosed a few of his shirt buttons, like I knew he would let me. His bruised neck appeared and teased me with its tender splotches from my own hands. "I'm so sorry about how rough I got last night. I've had a lot of build-up inside of me-" JJ caught my hands.
"Dee, you really scared me. Even earlier today, on the roof." His words trembled, his lips twitched with fear, and my attraction to him skyrocketed.
"I know I did, I know." I cooed, "And I'm going to make it up to you. Just like you told Drake I would."
"Make it up to me?" He nearly whispered while I continued to unbutton.
"Let me do this for you," I breathed into his ear while I let his shirt fall away. I circled him slowly, pressing close enough to let him feel my breath across his shoulders, looking over his uneasy movements. I kissed his slim neck, his shoulders. I felt his narrow frame, letting my hands linger in the more tender areas. He began to relax, head lolling to the side, his breath came deeply, making his body feel like it was pulsing. I pushed him back against his fridge carefully, really working to keep from coming off as mean.
"It's cold," He said softly, and in answer to his short shiver, I pushed more of his bare flesh to it.
"Stay just like that." He wiggled just slightly as goosebumps scattered themselves up his arms. I knelt in front of him, slid his pants off of him and took him in my mouth. He trembled from the frigid appliance behind him and my admitted prowess. His musk was mild and inoffensive, even after such a hot day and a night of dancing. I took my shirt off while I teased him, keeping my eyes up so I could watch him shake and grip the sides of the refrigerator door, mouth pouted open when he wasn't biting his lip. I stood to kiss those pleading lips and let him help me peel my jeans off. We both kicked off our shoes and socks before I got back down on my knees, our clothing piled under them for comfort. I pushed myself up against his legs, ran my hands across his body. I pressed my own stiff member into the cool, textured surface of the humming machine behind him, moaning for him as I pushed upwards enough to earn the unforgiving wedge between his calves. I had him where I wanted him, pliable in my hands, like putty.
I slid up his body again, melded my mouth to his, letting him moan into mine. He was all gentle heat and nervous caresses, hope glazed his eyes when we parted. I grabbed my cigarettes, my lighter, and he let me pull him to the bedroom. I pushed him onto all fours on the bed and got on my knees behind him, cigarettes nearby enough to reach when I wanted.
He melted under my touch as I ran my hands up his back, tracing any muscle and divot I came across. I leaned forward enough to push his shoulders down into the bed, the way I liked him. He let me pull his hips closer to me and I took my time preparing him before fingering him as deeply as I could, eliciting groans and stretches of appreciation and pleasure. With my free hand I grabbed my pack and pulled a cigarette out of it with my teeth. The moment JJ heard my lighter flick, he turned enough to watch me take the first drag.
"This is a non-smoking building-" His words were distracted and quiet.
"I could smell your neighbors smoking pot from two doors down." I replied coolly, and blew my smoke down at his face. "We'll air it out afterwards." His eyes fluttered a little in agreement and he leaned back into my hand, making me fill him further. Careful not to burn him, I steadied his hips and smirked. "What a hungry slut you are tonight."
"Just hungry for you, Dee." he panted before letting out a long breath. "I don't have an ashtray-" He moaned as I hit his prostate, and I watched his lungs expand from his gasp.
"That's alright, I'll just use you." JJ stretched again anxiously, and I put a soothing hand on his lower back, cigarette-holding fingers lifted slightly. "It wont be like it was this morning, unless you want it, or misbehave." I pushed my digits into him again to emphasize my point, causing another few lung expansions. "Watch." I took a long drag off my cigarette, until it was smoked down enough to ash. My heart pounded as I held it out above his back, and tapped it until the ashy ends fell onto him. He twitched once as it hit, his stomach contracted, then he seemed to relax. "Not too bad, right?" I asked gently, probing deeper into him again.
"Not too bad-" He breathed.
"You want me to fuck you?" I demanded, adding another finger.
"Fuck yes, please, Dee."
I obliged, holding his shoulders down with one hand, smoking and ashing on his heaving, shuddering skin with the other. As I reached the filter I was struck by JJ's light, perfect back, sprinkled with soot that clung to him and turned dark in his sweat. I blew my smoke down over his body and watched it curl around his ribs and shoulders until it was disturbed by our movements. My orgasm was building as I smoked the cigarette down, I could felt it in my toes. I tried raking my nails down it to try to ease my lust for destruction but it didn't work.
"Touch yourself." I commanded, "I'm getting close-" I gripped his hair and pushed deeper, slower, while he did as I said. He was so obedient. "You feel so good, JJ." I pulled him closer to me. "I'm going to put the cigarette out on you," I told him, "It's not going to hurt as bad as before, I promise." JJ squirmed wordlessly before grunting his acquiescence. "Don't be scared." I said softly, "Focus on making yourself cum, I want to feel you-" His moans elongated and I could already feel him tightening as he began his ascension. He forced himself back on me hard and I quickly took the last hit to let my saliva pool in my mouth. I leaned over him and let my spit land between the muscles that formed the smooth canyon along the length of his spine. I took note of where it pooled the deepest and decided to aim for a slightly shallower spot. Just as JJ was coming I slowly pressed the cherry into the liquid, watching it bubble and smoke.
A pained whine slipped into his moans and the pulsing grip of his orgasm alongside the flexing of his flesh under me- his fist full of sheets, his mouth filled with a voluptuous version of my name- forced my own orgasm up my body, made it rattle through my sinews. I infused him with my own cum as deeply as I could, and held myself up over him as the last beats drummed out. The snubbed cigarette was lost in the sheets, but it didn't matter. I slid a hand over the ash and sweat covering JJ, leaving erotic smears of black and grey across him. I admired him for a moment, he was so perfect, like a mural I had brought to life.
He twisted onto his side, allowing my still half-hard cock slip out of him, leaving a thread of my cum to stretch across his thigh as he moved.
"Oh my God." He breathed, reaching up to stroke my face. "Dee-"
My phone beeped from the other room, and I glanced at JJ's bedside clock. Ryo, right on schedule. Unless he had already been trying to get a hold of me.
"I have to get that." I said as I sat back on my heels. JJ brushed back his hair and nodded through his exhaustion while I stood.
"Bring mine too?" He asked softly. I frowned and glared at him, but when I grabbed mine and pulled my pants back on in the kitchen I fished for his as well and tossed it to him before sitting on the edge of his bed.
Two messages from Ryo, but both were only from a couple minutes ago. Leaving work in a few minutes, the first one said. Such absolute bullshit. Are you still at the bar? I glanced over at JJ, sprawled naked on the bed, eyes half-lidded from aftergow, his cum drying on his belly and bed, mine deep inside his slim body. That was when it hit me. I hadn't just used JJ as an excuse to get out my anger. I used him because he had turned me on, and I had some minor form of control over him. While it was guided by that control, I had barely done anything to maintain that control, or even implement it. I had been more kind to him than I had planned. He gazed up at me from over his phone when he paused in his typing.
"Ryo?" He asked sweetly, and I nodded slowly.
"Drake?" I asked back. JJ smiled and Mm-hm'd at me.
"He wanted me to check in, after-" He tilted his head and I allowed myself to take in all of the marks I had left on him. Mine. He was all mine. I was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss his cautiously curling lips.
"I understand." I murmured, nearly giving in to that unwelcome instinct.
"I'm letting him know everything's fine." He said quickly.
I didn't respond, I just set a hand on his hip and felt like the world had gone blurry. Like I had suddenly put on a pair of glasses with a much stronger prescription than I needed. I didn't just need JJ for his compliance and inherent attraction to me. But I also wanted him like this. Calm, sated, with my marks across him, the ashes caked onto his clean sheets, this quiet sense of understanding. I still wanted to do the things Ryo would never allow- I wanted to push my fingers into him, allow my cum to drip from his body, hold him down, stifle him with pillows until he was coughing and gasping under me. But maybe this was okay for tonight. Maybe this was enough. I was fully erect once more, but I didn't have time for a second round with him before I had to meet Ryo.
"I have to head back to the bar." I said evenly.
"Oh," JJ was jolted out of his personal fantasy, and his eyes seemed to sparkle less. "Okay."
"I'll come over again soon." I gave in and leaned over to kiss his slow, hesitant lips.
"Alright." He didn't seem to fully believe me, but I really didn't have the time to convince him I was being honest, so I went back into the kitchen and pulled my shirt on. While I buttoned up I listened to JJ continuing to text with Drake from the other room. He was writing a lot. Probably more than he should. When I went back into the room to grab my cigarettes JJ smiled up at me again.
"Don't tell him too much." I warned, going into the bathroom to snap off the shower, wash my hands, and wipe myself clean of JJ. "He's a good detective, I can't have him sniffing around."
"I know, I'm being discreet." He continued tapping his thumbs across his screen and it was rubbing me the wrong way, so I typed out to Ryo that I was still at the bar, and to come on over. What if he had already left for the bar? Where would he be coming from? I had to get over there before he did.
"I'll see you at work tomorrow." I said down to JJ and used a knuckle to lift his chin so I could run my thumb over the scabbing I had caused under his lip. He smiled widely, eyes glittering with admiration, and I couldn't stand how sweet he looked, so I spit in his face. He drew back, surprised and upset, wiped his face clean. "Later." I smirked and headed out of the room and toward the front door.
"You couldn't leave it nice?" He called after me.
Not a chance.
I shut the door behind me and took the stairs two by two. If nothing else, I needed to be outside the bar, or at least on the same block by the time Ryo got there. A street away from JJ's I lit another cigarette and kept my pace brisk. One street over from the bar Ryo texted that he was almost there, and I double-timed up to the front of the bar to lean on the wall. Just as I did so, Rose's car pulled around the corner.
The audacity.
He pulled over on the other side of the street and Ryo climbed out of the passenger seat. I watched silently, unsure if they had seen me. Ryo came around to Rose's side and leaned into his window.
"You're sure you don't want to come in for a drink with us?" Ryo was asking.
"I don't think that's appropriate." Rose responded, and they exchanged a few words that were too quiet for me to hear. Rose squeezed Ryo's hand, grinned, and drove off. Ryo watched him go in a dreamy way that unsettled me. The evidence was piling up against them. He finally turned to cross to the bar and it took a moment for him to notice me.
"Oh, hi Dee!" He started, then shuffled a little, obviously torn by the guilt of allowing me to see their exchange. It was almost like he was trying to get me to engage. I wouldn't give him the pleasure.
"Hey." When I didn't even hint that I might have heard or seen them together he seemed to relax a little.
"How is it in there, busy?" He asked, leaning next to me.
"Eh." I wiggled my hand and put my cigarette in my mouth to sling an arm around his shoulders. It felt forced. My own body was stiff and distant despite our closeness, his didn't seem to respond either.
"Have you been having fun at least?" He pressed, leaning into me. I couldn't keep from letting a smile slip.
"Yeah, I've been having a good time."
"Good." He laid his head on my shoulder and it went quiet. We listened to the traffic on the nearby bridge. I watched the bright end of my cigarette glow against the dark sidewalk, the tiny sparks fly each time I tapped it. My loins tightened, reminded of JJ's small shudders from each ember hitting his flesh, and I dropped it to stomp it out. I pulled myself away from Ryo, suddenly unsure of whether or not he, like me, was covered in the sweat of another man.
"Lets go in." I suggested. He led the way, and I noticed a slight dip that caused a nearly imperceptible drag or stiffness in his step. Upon seeing that, I was so overcome that I stopped in my tracks unable to physically handle the pain in my chest. It simultaneously affirmed my suspicions and gave me a sharp sense of justification for my own actions. Ryo turned when he reached the bar and smiled at me. He became concerned as he watched me snap out of my shock and follow his path.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, fine. Just a little drunk." I excused, "Do you mind taking over the tab? I closed mine before I went outside."
"Oh, sure." I leaned on the bar and glanced round to see Ted and James were still there. It was still active without being packed, the regulars doing their regular activities. Ryo handed me a beer I had no interest in drinking. Ted saw us, saw Ryo, and waved him down. I followed dutifully, and we met between the tables and the dance floor.
"Did you just get here?" Ted was asking him.
"Yeah, I stayed a little late tonight." Ryo was quick to say. Except he hadn't. I squirmed uncomfortably, wanting more than anything to call him out about it, but also not wanting the public spectacle.
"Come sit with us, the game is in the last quarter!" Ted invited, and Ryo agreed despite his neutrality surrounding sports.
Again tonight, I was in booth with people I didn't want to be around. I just hoped Ted and James wouldn't mention anything about me disappearing for over an hour. I sat uncomfortably next to Ryo, afraid to even brush against him, I was so perturbed by his betrayal.
All I could think of was fucking him so hard he cried, holding him down by his neck until he told me Rose could never fuck him as good. My teeth were on edge and the conversation around me was drowned out by what I was itching to do. My bubbling gut had almost convinced me to leave and meet up with JJ again, when James engaged me.
"How has your night been?" He asked, apparently bored by what the other two were talking about. I flashed on JJ pushing back on me, the smears of ash on his skin.
"Good." I answered, unwilling to elaborate and consciously trying not to blush from the further tightening in my crotch.
"I like this bar, my last precinct didn't have one so close. You wouldn't believe the stiffs over there."
"Which precinct were you at before?" I asked in a rote tone, resigning to be stuck forcing half-hearted conversation with co-workers instead for figuring out how to catch Ryo in his lies, or slinking off to take my new frustrations out on JJ. I was sure Rose had told us which precinct James had come from, but I had not been paying attention. I forced myself to tune back in to James, missing which precinct it had been. He was just chattering mindlessly about how boring everyone had been over there.
"Where did you go earlier?" James suddenly asked, sensing my disinterest. I glanced toward Ryo, unsure if he had heard or not.
"I went out for a smoke." I dodged, downing some of my beer.
"For an hour?"
"It was nice out, I went for a walk." His questions were putting me further on edge, Ryo and Ted didn't seem to notice our chat at all, but I still couldn't tell if Ryo was listening. I was sweating now, completely sure that I was about to give myself away. Why did all of our friends have to be in law enforcement? Couldn't we make friends who weren't experts at spotting deception? It would make my practically justified exploitation of JJ so much easier to maintain.
"Still warm out there?" he asked, eyes following my hand as I wiped away my sweat.
"Very." I tightened my lips, not liking this prodding. He seemed painfully circumspect, and I was done playing cat and mouse with him. He took note of my demeanor and quickly cracked a wide grin.
"I was going to say, you're awfully sweaty for just going out for air-"
"I've also been drinking for hours." I grunted. James pulled out his pack.
"Want to go out for another smoke?" he asked. Maybe it would give me a chance to solidify my lie about a walk, so I agreed. Ted declined to join us, since he was trying to quit, and Ryo had never been a smoker, so it was just the two of us. Out front there were only a few small groups of off-duty officers chatting under streetlights, puffing away. James lit my cigarette for me and we stood close to each other for a moment.
"So how long have you and Randy been together?" he cocked his head at me as he asked and I could hear barely hidden mordant notes in his voice.
"Few years." I said around my smoke, remaining short and far from open.
"Is that as a partner, or as a partner-partner?"
"Look-" I barked, "I know you're new, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, but, just so you know: Yes, me and Ryo are together romantically. Yes, everyone in the precinct knows, yes it's been allowed by our chief, and yes, you will be in the minority if you take offense about it at the 27th. Does that about answer everything?"
"Nearly." His mouth twisted into a smug shape. "Ted told me just about all of that, I was just asking about specifics." Now I felt like the asshole, jumping don his throat when he was just curious.
"Not that it's any of your business," I started, still feeling the need to keep some emotional distance from him, "but the first couple years were pretty complicated. I spent a lot of time pursuing him." I leaned near a planter and James shifted his weight around.
"So, you really go after what you want, huh? Are you one of those 'always-gets-his-man' types?" James ashed into the planter and I shrugged. "You don't need to be so defensive with me. I'm just trying to see how everything fits with the guys here. Y'know, see where I fit in." I took in his words, felt out where my defensiveness was coming from, and took him at his word. There was no way he could know about me and JJ, and that was the assumption I had made that was making my walls come up.
"I'm sorry if I've been short or standoffish toward you." I murmured once I had leveled my breathing and my blood pressure began to drop. "I've been under a lot of stress with our case. Along with some personal stuff-"
"You can talk to me, if you want." James offered, and for a moment I was almost touched but I clammed up again when I considered he might have been using these things to get my guard down, and maybe he did know something about me and JJ.
"It's very personal." I responded as coldly as I could. "How about you?" I asked, eager to get the questions angled away from me. "Are you attached?"
"Between, right now." James shrugged and drifted further from the small crowd. I followed a few steps to keep our conversation low out of consideration for the apartments around us. "But I don't really date, I like to keep my options open." He leaned on the wall just inside the alleyway. "I also have kind of high standards, I usually look for something very specific. It's not easy to find."
"Okay." I was turned off by his disingenuously avoidant air. I knew he wanted me to pry, but I was not into pursuing this line of questioning much further. It was quiet while he acknowledged that my interest had run out, so he let the silence stretch somewhat uncomfortably. I didn't know him well enough to know if we had anything in common to talk about. It stretched from uncomfortable to comfortable again, and James cleared his throat before breaking the silence.
"So, how long have you and JJ been fucking?" My first urge was to throw my cigarette, go in to grab Ryo and leave, I was so insensed. Instead I took a long, calculating drag from my cigarette, fighting to keep the enraged tremble out of my fingers.
"What makes you think we're fucking?" I asked, keeping my tone balanced and resisting the urge to blow my smoke in his face.
"Lets just say I'm very observant." he answered, leaning further into the alley. I could hear a grin in his voice but didn't want to let on by even looking at him.
"Well, you're wrong." I told him as firmly as I could muster. "Anyway, if you were right, which you're not, what would you do about it? Tell Ryo? That's a great way to alienate your co-workers."
"Or alienate you." he answered pointedly.
"All you would have on me would be circumstantial evidence, anyway. If that." I shifted, feeling more and more uncomfortable, but unable to disengage without making myself look guilty. Indignation was starting to tighten my chest. This stranger had no right to question my morals, my relationships, my autonomous decisions, much less threaten me with exposure.
"So did you do that to him too?" He asked, running a knuckle down the side of his own obscured face, and something in me snapped.
"Look man, I don't appreciate what you're implying about me. You need to think about what you're trying to say very carefully if we're going to continue having an amicable relationship." I could feel my body straightening automatically, so my own thinly veiled threat would not ring hollow, I even stepped a little closer to James before I realized I had put myself at a disadvantage. His eyes had already adjusted to the darkness of the alleyway I had just entered.
"What, is your punching bag not here, so you have to pick on someone your own size?" James chuckled, and grabbed the bicep of my shirt, pulling me into the dark.
"You don't know what you're talking about-" I hissed, bringing that arm across his chest defensively, grabbing his collar. We clinched roughly for a few moments almost wordlessly, just the scuffling of our shoes in the gravel echoing around us. He got me up against the wall, his thighs pushing against mine. "What the hell, man?" I grunted, managing to push him off of me, he he swung at me, and I ducked enough that he just knocked my shoulder a little. I caught his wrist and managed to spin around behind him, and had nearly grappled him enough to take him to the ground when he pulled free and kicked one of my legs out from me. I hit my knees hard and barely blocked the next fist that flew. As he pulled back to swing again I wrapped my arms around his knees and buckled them, guiding him to fall sideways with me. In a flash he twisted around and pinned me down on my chest, straddling my thighs, forcing the erection I didn't realize I had again into the ground painfully. He held my wrists as if he were about to cuff me.
"You need to brush up on your take-down, detective." James laughed darkly, squeezing my hips with his knees. He was distracted by his own shitty banter enough to allow me to break my arms free and twist to shove him back while I grabbed my nearby still-lit cigarette, hit it quick to heat the cherry, and flicked it at him. He flinched and I tried to scramble out from under him. He had me by hair for just a second before I threw his hand off me and pushed myself back against the wall again.
"What the fuck is your problem, James?" I snapped. "What right do you have to touch me? I could have you for assault of an officer-"
"But you wont, because then people will start poking around in your business, and I will have no qualms about bringing up what I've seen of your and JJ's relationship. Then you'd get slapped with the same thing, wouldn't you?" I didn't have any way to respond, so I gawked uselessly in disbelief. "You can really hold your own in a fight." He said shortly, extending an olive branch in the form of a flat hand to help me up. I hesitated, eyeing his form, still partially above me.
"What is this, some kind of fight club bullshit?" I said quietly, seething that he had basically bested me, considering I had been cornered at the last second, and confused about what exactly our tussle had even meant.
"Not at all." I took his hand and we pulled ourselves up to stand again. "I just like my men with some fight in them, I like them real fiery. It's not like you weren't into it." He ran a hand down my stomach, gripped my groin aggressively, and pushed me against the wall once more, forcing his mouth on mine. His stubble was coarse against mine, his body was large and solid, his musk engulfed me, he was more man than I had encountered in a long time. For an instant his hand, still working itself against my crotch, wasn't as repulsive as it had been a moment earlier. When I came to my senses, I pushed him off me again and he grinned at me, slapped my shoulder in a crude display of camaraderie. "I'm wont say anything, Dee. About JJ, or any this. Not as long as you don't. Shots?"
I followed him back inside. I was rattled, disheveled, covered in dirt, and massively confused. James bought a round of shots for our table, much like I had done a few hours ago, and we both returned to our partners' sides.
Ryo didn't pick up on my state, physical or mental. He was too engrossed in whatever he and Ted had been talking about. He absently set a hand on my knee without even looking over. James broke into their conversation effortlessly, as if nothing had happened.
My blood boiled when he glanced at me and laughed at some joke the table had shared in. I couldn't sit there like that with this strange man who was blackmailing me with some loose circumstance he may or may not have witnessed. I wanted to take him outside again, really show him who was boss. Who was he, using some snippet of conversation, or a word, or glance to hold me hostage with? I left the booth more abruptly than I intended and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. There was an oil stain on my shirt along with dirt and who knew what else. My face and a few red splotches from James kissing me so harshly. I splashed water on my face and rearrange my shirt to try to make the stain seem natural, went back out, and stalked up to the bar. I fiddled with coaster and waited for the bartender to notice me. Once he did I ordered, and James was next to me again.
"I hope there aren't any hard feelings." James murmured. "I can just see how pent up you are. I could see your pain."
"Whatever." I sneered. "You were just looking for something to hold over me, to keep me quiet about you coming onto me." The bartender set my drink down and waited for me to pay him. "Put it on James' tab." I told him, James nodded to him.
"I'll have a the same, and how about a few more shots?" I agreed, because he was paying, and who was I to say no to free drinks? Especially if they came from someone who could easily turn around and destroy the life I had worked so hard to build for myself. It was becoming hard to imagine James didn't have some kind of information that I couldn't refute. Something he could tell Ryo that he would believe, and then Ryo would be done with cruel, disgusting me. James didn't try anything else that night, he just fed me alcohol until Ryo was ready to go home.