Hermione decides with all the cold logic and analytical thinking at her employ that she has allowed herself to grow a little too cozy with her enforced roommate and takes a mental step back.
It has been a few days since letting him know about the Greengrass petition and no progress has been made on the motion itself. Draco hasn't made any inquiries (in fact he's said very little at all) and Hermione finds herself afraid to mention it. He had been so angry at her for keeping him in the dark about the marriage regulations, not to mention eager to jump on the opportunity, she is afraid bringing it up might just start another row.
Mostly Hermione has avoided the subject because she's not sure she can keep her hurt in check if they have another go 'round on the topic.
She supposes it must have been more imagined than she thought, their blossoming companionship. To her it had felt like an important and deepening connection. That perhaps even beyond his time of forced supervision, they might forge a lasting friendship.
Maybe even more than a friendship.
More than anything, Hermione is angry at herself and a little embarrassed. Draco Malfoy had proven himself to be charming and considerate when he so desires. He is intelligent and clever and bursting with a dry wit. And of course, he is, admittedly, devilishly handsome. Not the tall dark square-jawed classic handsome so many women crave, but slender and sleek with hair and eyes kissed with winter pale. His aristocratic air, which she used to think of as haughty and snobbish, she has re-categorized in her mind as regal and poised. It seems only natural she would find herself attracted to him. Her folly was expecting him to reciprocate.
Before their peaceful cohabitation had cooled into its current state, their celebratory dinner had nearly given her the courage to brooch the subject of their continued relationship. Now she is doing everything she can to give him distance and let him make his own way.
Which is, she chides herself, what her job was supposed to be in the first place.
And then, she thinks, why not Astoria? Hermione has seen the girl. A pretty thing, barely a woman of age, blond and trim and well-bred. It is no great surprise he should entertain the notion. The regulations of the muggle/wizarding world simply give him a logistic reason to move quickly on a courtship. Draco is no stranger to arranged marriages after all. There is a rumour around her department that the Greengrass family might have been in talks with Lucius Malfoy prior to the second Wizarding War. Subsequently, it fell through due to the Malfoy's unwavering allegiance to Voldemort and the elder Greengrass' desire to stay out of the upheaval on either side.
So for the past few days, Hermione has been polite and pleasant and helpful but, to protect her own heart and pride, their television evenings and frequent excursions have come to an end. Hermione simply stopped inviting and, since she usually made any plans: That, as they say, was that.
If Draco misses her in a more friendly capacity, he's made no indication. She can only draw the conclusion that he has not. Missed her that is.
"What would you like for dinner?" It's Friday night and not even two weeks ago, Hermione would have made some plans for the pair. A film to watch together. A restaurant to visit. Something as simple as a shopping excursion to fill their pantry. Instead, they arrived home at the same time and separated immediately: She to her small office and he to his bedroom, door closed and presumably locked. She has knocked and asked softly what he would like mostly to break the silence.
Though she is trying to keep a professional distance, the quiet is moving past professional, skipping by awkward, and landing on just plain awful.
She hears a shuffling and then the door opens. He's looking at her with that shuttered and cold countenance he has displayed for days.
"I'll make whatever you would like if we've the ingredients." His voice is not friendly, which comes as no surprise, but now there is an edge bordering on anger mixed into the low melody of his voice.
Hermione bites her lip and takes a breath. "I can help if you want. I've done the shopping so we're pretty well stocked."
"I cook, you clean. That's the arrangement. I'll find something." With that he brushes past her and starts down the hall toward her kitchen. She watches him stride quickly away and sighs in frustration and disappointment. She should have told him sooner, about the proposal. Not to mention the laws. She had no idea how angry he would be. Of course she can't blame him. It has to do with the course of his life after all. She had no right to keep him in the dark. He may be under supervision, may not be fully released to live independently, but she's not exactly his keeper either.
After a week of hurt and guilt, the simmering combination comes out not at all how she intends and she snaps, "Merlin, Draco, what is your problem!"
He was just about to disappear from sight and she sees him halt. His turn is slow and purposeful and then he's back in the center of the hall looking at her with his eyebrow cocked.
"Whatever do you mean, Granger? Have I overstepped some rule I don't know about?"
Ouch...That stung. Such a subtle dig. "You know very well what I mean. You've hardly spoken to me for days!"
"I'm speaking now, quite plainly. If you have a question or complaint, I invite you, please, to voice it."
Hermione pinches the bridge of her nose, letting his sarcasm roll off her, building the wall around herself and her bruised ego. He's her ward. He is her responsibility. Not her lover. Not even her friend obviously. There was no understanding between them that should have led her to believe his marrying Astoria would be anything other than expected.
"I just thought." She takes a breath and starts again. "I know you're probably expecting to be moved to the Greengrass estate but these processes can take a long time. Weeks. I had been trying to be hospitable and thought maybe we could continue on as before. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner about the possibility. I just didn't want you to get your hopes up."
That's a lie. Even as she says it she knows it is. She couldn't have cared less if he had his hopes up before. The truth is she was hoping it would be denied outright and she could just ignore it.
It occurs to her that supporting it could have moved it along faster but when it was brought to her, she selfishly entered in her report that she felt he was better served to stay with her. Godric help her if he ever finds that out.
He eyes her a moment and then turns back to walk into the kitchen. He mutters, "don't concern yourself with my hopes," and then is out of sight.
She should let it drop, she knows. But Hermione Granger is a Gryffindor for a reason. Smart enough for Ravenclaw, loyal enough for Hufflpuff, crafty enough for Slytherin. But no, the sorting hat had the right of it. She is, at her very core, stubborn and oh so rash.
"What precisely is that supposed to mean," she calls after him, stomping in his wake to corner him in the small room. "I'm sorry if I was trying to consider your emotional state on the matter."
"My emotional... fuck you, Granger. You could give a knut about my emotional state. What is it? Do you get a promotion for housing me? Pay raise? Or is it just bragging rights: Who can tame the Death Eater". He sneers at her and goes to storm from the room but she is right there, blocking his way, straightening herself to glare directly into his cold gaze.
"I don't get anything out of this, Malfoy! It's my job, and I do it well."
"Ah there it is. Can't let Astoria take me away for fear it will reflect on your performance?"
"No that's not what I-"
"That's beyond despicable and you know it. How dare you put your career ahead of my future?"
"What - no I didn't... I mean that's not..." She's stumbling over her words, trying to deny it but unable to find a plausible truth. He makes her sound completely selfish and unfortunately, he's right. Not for career but just as selfish nonetheless. For her own short-sighted, personal reasons. Reasons that seem silly and misguided in the wake of his obvious distaste for her.
As she's trying to find an excuse, he slips past her and she hears the front door to her flat open and slam shut.
He's never left before. Not for anything outside his prescheduled appointments and classes at least. Part of her wants to run after him and apologize. Part of her thinks she truly should go after him for his own safety and security. And then part of her just wants to collapse in her favorite chair and pity herself for a while. When the first tear falls, she wipes it away, angry at herself for becoming so invested. The second tear slides too quickly down her cheek and is soaked up in her curls. By the third, she's starting to feel that hitch in her breathing and by tear number seven she's sitting on the kitchen floor letting the flood overcome her and trying to decipher when she started to care this much about Draco Malfoy.
Ultimately, he's only gone for about an hour. Hermione breathes a sigh of relief when he returns. She has images in her head of him coming in smelling of liquor or, even worse, a woman's perfume. Instead, he strolls in and passes by her on the sofa, heading straight for this room but she stops him with a soft, "Draco?"
He stops and waits but doesn't turn to look at her. She notices his hand clenched at his side and sighs a little. "I wanted you to know that I'm sorry. Truly. I don't want to try to control your future. I would hate to see you marry for legal reasons when I know you are so capable of being completely independent." She takes a deep breath. "But that's not my decision to make. If you want, I will go to the department head on Monday and ask her for an update on the Greengrass petition. If...well, just if that's what you want. Alright?"
She looks at him with pleading eyes that are completely lost on him since he has his back turned. Even if he leaves her care, she has enjoyed having him in her life. She's afraid her selfishness, and her obvious misunderstanding of his intentions, will remove the possibility of any friendship once he leaves her apartment.
Finally, she sees his shoulders first slump and then straighten and he says, "If that's what you think is best. Good night."
Yet again, he's gone before she can react.
A/N So a bit of a bridge chapter to get inside Hermione's mind a little. The relationship aspect of this story is about to come to a head in the next couple of chapters if things go as planned. I left this poor couple in a state of romantic flux for far too long. Time to get things moving :)
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