The next morning involved walking, a lot of it. Granted it wasn't so bad with my new surprisingly comfy leather shoes but I have never been an active person. The most exercise I ever had was when I missed the last bus and walked 2 hours home, and that had nearly killed me.
I had the hood on my cloak up and it wrapped around me tight to begin with, but after the fifth time of walking into a tree, tripping over a root or stone, or in the most recent case, some vicious dust, I had given up trying to stay dry. It seemed kind of pointless anyway since I had face-planted a rather large puddle. Bull sighed and hoisted me up out of the mud.
The Iron Bull was on Lewis watching duty, since he had already touched me and I had yet to get some long sleeved shirts or something, the other people, unsurprisingly, did not want me delving into their thoughts.
Bull, to pass the time, spent the hours spent walking by showing me Thedas in his head. This was mostly because everyone else got annoyed with me asking inane questions about elves, dwarves, qunari and mages. I mean, how was I to know elves don't talk to trees?
"Bandits," Bull murmured aloud. I grimaced and looked around for a place to hide out.
Solas and Varric hung back as Lilia, Bull and Cassandra rushed forwards to meet them. I on the other hand, ducked behind a boulder that seemed to have fallen off the cliff.
Peaking out I watched in awe as Varric fired bolt after bolt from his machine gun style crossbow. Besides him, Solas was twirling his stick around sending some crap towards the bandits. I frowned, each time he did so, the air around me felt suffocating. Like when a train hurtles past you had high speed. I gritted my teeth against the sensation and slowly edged around the boulder in time to see Bull flatten a poor guy with a giant axe.
My vision swam when I stared at the bits of human innards littering the ground. Lilia and Cassandra did not seem to leave quiet as much of a mess as Bull, but the blood. How can so much of it fit in one person? I nearly hurled as my eyes focused on the intestines of the sod slowly flopping out of the gaping wound in his side, the look on his face one of pure terror.
I closed my eyes and went back behind my boulder, trying to calm the ragged breaths that were tearing through my chest. 'Get used to it,' I thought to myself. 'This is your life now.'
After a few more minutes, the grating sound of metal on metal and spell casting wore down. The air was finally still once more. I stood up on shaking legs, Varric gave me a sympathetic look and moved to help the others pillage the corpses. I tried not to look as the mess that covered the dirt track and waited impatiently for them to finish and move on.
"So, why are we looting the dead?" I managed.
Varric laughed, "Money? Secret love letters? Normally it's just old socks." The dwarf shrugged, before turning away and heading up the trail. I dodged the blood and guts and hurried after them.
Cassandra slowed down to walk with me, and after a glare at Varric, he joined Lilia and Bull in discussing some form of battle techniques.
"How do we know you can be trusted?" She said bluntly.
"Why would I lie? What could I do? You know my fighting skills are a step up from kicking someone in the balls and running away," I ran a hand through my messy hair and grimaced. I would kill for a shower.
"You could get close to the Inquisitor, charm her then destroy the Inquisition from the inside out," she declared triumphantly.
"She's really not my type," I said, forgetting for a moment I was supposed to be acting like a man. "Besides, I have no intention of screwing over my rescuers." I tried to smile reassuringly at the woman but it faltered in face of her scowl. Damn she's scary.
"So why are you here?" She demanded.
"Hey you guys were the ones that found me! This is more akin to kidnapping than me infiltrating anything," I held my hands up in front of my in defence.
"Ugh, now you sound like Varric," Her accent made it sound more like 'Verric' but I shrugged it off.
"Tell you what, if I ever betray you I will personally come and tell you so you can stick your big ass sword in my face," I said cheerfully.
"Don't doubt me, I will do it," She warned, some of the threat wearing off as she apparently warmed to the idea. Creepy.
"And now we can be friends," I declared, holding my hands up to the sky. Her gaze darkened once more and ignored me. I grinned and spent the next 10 minutes talking at her about clothes.
Finally, she broke. "How can a man know that much about dresses? I will never wear such a thing! Especially not a low cut…"
"A low cut dress, no lace, that will just look weird. Just a simply blue, no! Purple! Yes, a dark purple dress, short obviously in case you want to kick someone's head off mid battle or something. Kind of difficult to do in a long dress. Don't want it too poofy otherwise you will look like a demon child's doll or something," I mused.,
"Too.. poofy?" She looked confused.
"Yeah, looks really weird on most people with a short dress," I glanced at her. "We'll figure it out."
"No, absolutely not. I will not be wearing any dresses," She nearly shouted that last bit sending me into fits of laughter at the fear in her face.
"No one said anything about you getting into a dress, Seeker," Varric called from up ahead. "The thought of you being remotely feminine is actually scarier than your hatred for books."
Cassandra gave some unassuming rocks a particularly vicious glare. I hummed happily to myself, cheered up immeasurably.
How far away is their camp? We had been going for days now, stopping every so often for me and my weak ass to catch up. The weather was not dissimilar to England. From our starting position it had gone from constant rain, to cold but a bit of sun, occasional rain and now, snow. No rain though, which is nice I guess. Cassandra had nearly flattened me when I threw a snowball at her. So I had taken to walking with Varric and listening to his stories.
I tried to stay away from Bull, not that that did anything to help block his thoughts. Apparently I have some range on this thing. After a few days I had more or less gotten used to it and tuned it out until it became some constant chatter in the back of my mind. He was always thinking, mostly about how to kill people, if someone was a spy or not. I was learning a lot of observation skills from him. And Qunlat. For the most part I would imagine people think in their own native tongue. Bull, I suppose having been living in the South for so long, did both. Mostly in English, thankfully.
Solas was quiet, a few days ago he gave me a grilling about my new found talent, asking some questions I wasn't convinced were remotely relevant but I humoured him. After which he did not speak to me at all, preferring to mutter to himself like a madman.
"Ah, home sweet home," Varric finally said.
"Really? Here in this Tundra?" I said, I squinted and made out a small village in the snow. As we got closer I saw it was mostly wooden huts with one large brick building that looked very much like a church. I assumed it was a Chantry.
"Where did you send the chargers off to anyway?" Lilia asked Bull.
"Oh just to hunt down the rest of those bandits, they'll b back here in a couple of days," Bull replied, studying the village with curiosity. "Not very defensible is it?"
"Its temporary or so I hear," Lilia replied. She turned to me, "Leliana will want to meet you."
"Who?" I said blankly, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I wonder if they have sofas.
"Our spymaster, she will know what to do with you." I nodded. "in the meantime," she continued. "You will have to bunk up with Varric in the tavern." I perked up at that.
"Come with me then, Pup," Varric led me off. I look around at the oddly well build houses and the people bustling around. Outside of the village was a large group of soldiers smacking each other with swords and falling over them just as much.
Varric led me to one of the bigger buildings and to what was his room. After showing me the washing facilities, a bucket and sponge, he disappeared downstairs. I sighed and set to work on my new body, despite the method being crude, it felt good to get clean.
I examined myself in the mirror, it only having occurred to me that I don't know what I look like a few minutes ago. I 'borrowed' a broken mirror shard from Varric and examined my face. My jaw definitely had a stronger line to it but other than that it was not that different to my old self. I still had my cherub like cheeks although more weathered than before. My hair was now a messy blonde mop, I mean it could be worse I guess, I could have kept my long tresses which given the past few weeks activities, would be more than annoying.
After I finished bathing I curled up in Varric's bed, figuring he can kick me out if he wants, and fell asleep to the drunken singing downstairs.
Author's note
This was going to be a bit shorter but I got carried away. We will be in full swing soon I promise! Also thanks to the new followers and remember to review! I appreciate the advice anyone may have if it will help improve the story somewhat and I would love to know your thoughts. :3