AN: I hadn't written for this in so long that I almost forgot what I was writing, lol. Enjoy!
Ever since last week, Ryoma felt as if he'd been drowning in his feelings of exasperation and fatigue. Between his son's defiant behavior, work, and being unable to properly explain the situation to Orochi, these past few days had been exceptionally taxing on his mind, body and soul.
Meditation didn't seem to be working, especially since every conversation with Shiro ended in shouting and door slamming, and work wasn't exactly such a great escape from his miserable life. His only source of some type of relief was being able to vent to Takumi, and if his younger brother hadn't called to ask how things when last weekend, Ryoma would have left everything bottled up inside.
With his cellphone between his ear and shoulder as his eyes glazed over documents he considered only semi-important, Ryoma listened to Takumi voice his complete and utter shock of his rather hairy situation.
"He said that to her?" cried Takumi. "I knew he took Scarlet's passing pretty hard but… damn. Did you at least talk to your date?"
"Haven't spoken to her since," said Ryoma in a dreary voice. Before his brother could even protest, Ryoma spoke up once more. "She doesn't want to talk to me, and I don't think anything that I'd manage to say anything to her that would rectify the situation."
"You've got to be kidding," said Takumi. "At least explain about Scarlet. Actually, why didn't you mention her in the first place?"
Ryoma let out a small sigh. Opening up about Scarlet about all this time was difficult enough, so while mentioning Shiro, Ryoma had told Orochi that he was a single father. By that time, the two of them had only known each other for a couple of hours, so Orochi probably didn't think to ask why they weren't together.
And it wasn't like he hadn't thought of explaining things to her, it's just that his rather strained relationship with his son took the front seat in his life right now. "I… couldn't will myself to go in detail about her. A stupid mistake on my part, it would have saved me a lot of trouble, but my main concern right now is Shiro."
"Right… What have you said to him about it?"
"I can't even get a word in," said Ryoma. "I'm trying to make it clear that I wasn't trying to replace Scarlet or that I'm not trying to hurt him, but he won't listen to me. Should I have tried to explain this before getting into dating again?"
Takumi hummed in thought. "I'm… not really sure. I mean, you just met her after all. It's not like you knew if she'd permanently be in your life or not, so it'd be pointless to introduce some new woman to Shiro if she wasn't. How everything played out was terrible luck."
"Or it's a sign that I probably shouldn't date again," said Ryoma, much to his younger brother's disliking. "Say what you want, but you and I both know it's true."
Not only was he indifferent to getting back in the dating game, but Shiro was vehemently against it, thinking it to be an insult to his mother, and that was enough of a reason for Ryoma to give up. He should have been focusing on work and his seven-year-old son that he was struggling to get along with, and not off on dates with pretty women at 10 at night.
"I'm sorry, I thought it was my job to be mopey, not yours," said Takumi in an attempt to get his brother in a better mood. Between the two of them, Takumi was always more likely to shut himself in his room and sulk over a girl for days on end.
Ryoma always found it strange, considering how popular he was with girls back in his youth.
A small smile appeared across his lips. "I think the most memorable time was when Oboro's father got a new job opportunity three towns over, and moved away. You were so beside yourself–"
"Okay! Okay!" Takumi cut in quickly. "We don't have to bring up old, embarrassing stuff, thanks." Ryoma's small chuckling was a small breakthrough for Takumi, even if it was at his expense. "Listen, I don't want you to throw yourself in a relationship, but I want you to try new things and be happy. And I'm positive Scarlet wouldn't want to see you in this state. Try and explain yourself to your date. I'm sure you can at least salvage a friendship out of it."
It was refreshing to hear Takumi say something that cheered him up a bit. "Thank you, Takumi. I honestly appreciate it. And… I will talk to her." Orochi didn't have to speak with him after he explained himself, but he at least owed her an explanation.
Just as Ryoma was about to speak, his phone made a small beeping sound, indicating that he was receiving another call. Ryoma removed his cellphone from his ear, and the sight of his son's school calling him in the middle of the school day was slightly alarming.
"Takumi… I have to call you back later," said Ryoma before hastily picking up the other phone call. Ryoma prayed to himself that Shiro wasn't in any danger, and luckily he wasn't. However, a fight broke out between he and another student, and Ryoma would have to leave work early to come pick him up.
Immediately, Ryoma's mind flew into panic on his way out of the building. Had the other kids been teasing him again? Was he trying to defend himself? With his friendship with Asugi, Ryoma was sure that the two of them would keep each other out of trouble. At least during school hours anyway. What went wrong?
Upon entering the principal's office, Ryoma saw his son sitting on a chair, virtually unharmed, but the drops of blood on his t-shirt spoke volumes about what transpired today. Ryoma also didn't think he'd hear about his son hitting another child simply because he felt like it.
Shiro and Asugi – Shirasagi Elementary School's Devilish Duo.
That's what teachers and students alike were calling the two of them. They never focused inside the classroom, as they pulled pranks from filling the teacher's desk drawer with creepy crawly critters to making stink bombs that forced the entire class into the hallway.
During gym class, the two were aggressive in any sports they played. Always MVPs, the school children would fight over which devil they wanted on their team. Their rough play would get them benched, or even sent to the principal's office if another student was injured in the process, and that happened too many times to count.
The most notorious thing about the two of them were the fights they picked around free period and after school. Whether it was a squabble in the hallway, or a full out brawl on the playground, the teachers had such a difficult time breaking them all up.
The fact that they were a duo didn't help either. Whenever one had gotten into trouble, the other would join in, and they were never far apart. The phone calls to Ryoma's home and work phones were getting ridiculous. Teachers complained nonstop, and the stories they'd tell would always come as a shock to Ryoma.
His son, who he knew to be compassionate and friendly, argued with his teachers and peers for no reason? How could he do such a thing? Why would he do such a thing?
When he'd address the situation at home, the only answer Ryoma ever got was, "Because I was angry."
Ryoma's brow creased in confusion, and annoyance. "Because you were angry?" he repeated. "Because you were angry? Shiro, that's not a good enough reason to go out hurting people! We've talked about this before!"
Shiro, whose stance was already defensive, put a scowl on his face. "Why are you yelling at me? That's all you ever do! Just yelling!"
"You don't listen any other way, Shiro!"
"Do you ever think that maybe I don't listen to you is cause I don't want to?" Shiro roared.
Ryoma took a deep breath. "Okay, why don't you want to listen to me?" He and Shiro both know the answer to his question, however, it was a question that needed to be asked. He watched the way his son drew back from him, taken aback that he'd even ask such a question as the frown on his face deepened.
"Why don't you go talk to your stupid girlfriend? She'll probably listen to you," Shiro sneered.
That was always his response. He couldn't find the words to articulate to his father that he was disrespecting his mother right in her own home, and right in front of her. So Shiro always responded the only way he knew how before turning to leave.
But Ryoma would always stand in his way, or sit him on the couch only to end up yelling at him some more. He never knew when to give up. He never knew how tired Shiro was of saying the same thing a million times over. His father was a terrible man who didn't care about his family, so why should Shiro care about him?
After a month of screaming matches and heated arguments, they stopped talking to each other. Ryoma would drop him off and pick him up from school, make his dinner, and listened as Shiro lightly treaded up to is room quickly afterwards.
Shiro spent his time acting out and picking fights, anything he could do to shake off all the pent up anger and aggression he was holding in because his father failed to engage in any of the fights he tried to pick at home. His father spent day and night practically buried in his work.
He'd even take documents home with him to serve as a sort of distraction from Shiro's biting words. The words, "Not now, I'm working Shiro," became so familiar to the two of them, and as soon as the words left Ryoma's lips, Shiro would abandon his attempt to start a fight with him.
Their relationship grew distant. Saturday mornings weren't spent watching Captain Arthur with sugary cereal and in tidy-whities anymore. The backyard had gone untouched – no one dug for rocks anymore. The primroses, the very staple of their home, dried up and withered away.
Maybe it was for the best. That way, Scarlet couldn't see the relationship between her two favorite men deteriorate as slowly as she had.
On the last day of school, Shiro silently slipped a note to his father. Two words had already been highlighted in it: summer school. It didn't come as a shock to Ryoma, as his son was more focused on how he could start trouble rather than how he could fix his grades, but he did feel somewhat of a failure as a father for letting this happen.
"I'm not going," Shiro said quietly. If he was trying to pick a fight, it was working. Ryoma could already feel himself getting aggravated.
"Excuse me?" asked Ryoma. "Who said you get to decide? Your school says it's mandatory, meaning you have to go."
"Who goes to school over the summer? It's boring, and I'm never going to get to do any fun stuff!"
Ryoma tacked the note onto his cork board before highlighting the important dates. "Should have thought of that before you decided to slack off in school," Ryoma said casually. Shiro's only response was to huff. "Besides, if you don't go, you'll have to spend your entire summer with me."
And Ryoma could guarantee that Shiro would have more of a miserable time here with him than at school with other children his age. Shiro must've thought of the same thing too, because he seemed to change his tune almost instantly.
"Well, I'd rather go to boring old school than be stuck here with you," Shiro mumbled. When Ryoma didn't even spare him a single glance after such a comment, he promptly made his way upstairs to his room with the feeling of defeat looming over his head.
As soon as Shiro was out of the room, Ryoma heaved a heavy sigh. Just what was he supposed to do?
During Shiro's first day of summer school, news broke out that Takumi and his wife welcomed a healthy baby boy into the world. Ryoma got word from Sakura, who happened to drop by to check on Oboro. A few hours into her visit, her sister-in-law's water broke, and the two of them were rushed to the emergency room.
Listening to his younger siblings' retelling of events was amusing, especially the part where Takumi returned home to the front door left wide open, a trail of clear fluid running from the door to the living room, and seven variations of Sakura's frantic voicemails, featuring Oboro's quick, heavy breathing in the background.
It was the fifth week of Shiro's seven-week summer school program when Ryoma decided that the two of them would drive a few towns over to visit the new baby on Friday, after school. The entire drive there was mostly silent, save for a few catchy songs on the radio.
The only words uttered were from Shiro who asked Ryoma to change stations. As beautiful as Aqua's number one hit single was, neither of them wanted to listen to it right after every other song, so Ryoma obliged him.
Their whole demeanor seemed to change upon entering Takumi's home. He looked absolutely tired, but the reality of having a new addition to his family keeps the pure and joyful smile on his face. "Ryoma, Shiro! I feel like it's been ages since I've last seen you two."
"Uncle Takumi!" cried Shiro as he grinned ear to ear before rushing up to hug his uncle.
"Woah, woah! Don't knock me out of the doorway!" Takumi proceeded to lift Shiro up, taking a good look at his features. He looked almost exactly as Ryoma did when he was this age. However, that light trail of freckles across his face and on his shoulders could only have come from his mother. "You're getting pretty big huh? Ugh, and heavy too! I gotta put you back down, sheesh!"
Once back on the ground safely, Shiro scrambled to take off his shoes and darted off into the living room, babbling loudly about wanting to see the new baby. Takumi gave a small chuckle before turning to Ryoma. "Sorry about that. He's just got so much energy nowadays."
"Don't worry about it. I can appreciate his liveliness."
"Only because you don't have to keep him," said Ryoma half-jokingly before fully entering Takumi's home. The place still looks the same, with wooden flooring and their rustic-esque décor with the exception of the new baby furniture around. If anything, it makes their house look just a little homier.
"Where's the baaabyyy?" Shiro asked. "I wanna seee hiiim!"
"Shiro, please keep your voice down," said Ryoma.
All of a sudden, Shiro's gaze was practically piercing into him. That bright smile and childlike wonder his eyes held just a moment ago was no more. Before Shiro can call him a "killjoy" or something of the like, Takumi cut in. "Yeah, Oboro is sleeping right now, so we've got to keep quiet. But the baby is awake, so we can go see him now if you want."
And just like that, the childlike gleam in his eyes were back and bright as ever. "Yes!" Shiro cheered, but quietly enough as to not wake his aunt. Upon entering the nursery, little gurgling sounds could be heard coming from the crib.
Shiro watched as his uncle reached down into the crib, anticipating the moment he'd come back up with the tiniest little baby in his arms. When he did, Shiro couldn't keep himself from grinning ear to ear. The baby didn't have much hair except for a tuft of silver hair around the front of his face, and had the same amber colored eyes as his father.
"Heh," Ryoma chuckled as the baby held his finger in his tiny fist. "He's your spitting image. And he's got a pretty strong grip too."
"Yeah?" Takumi laughed. "He's gonna be a little rowdy one, I can already tell."
Chubby little arms reached out to Takumi's face, and he waved his large hand in front of his son's little ones. Then, he looked towards Shiro. "This is Kiragi," said Takumi with a heartfelt smile. Would you like to hold him?"
With a small chortle, Shiro readily held out his arms to receive the baby, only to have Takumi tell him that he must be sitting down to actually hold him. He took a seat in the rocking chair next to the bookcase, before carefully accepting his younger cousin. "Am… am I holding him right?"
"Almost," said Takumi, before moving to fix Shiro's arm. "There we go. A baby's head has to be supported properly, so you have to make sure you're holding his correctly, okay?"
"Got it!" Shiro affirmed before taking another look at Kiragi. He sure was making a lot of noise, but at least he was smiling. After another long look at him, Shiro said, "You know, he's got really big cheeks. I kinda wanna pop them with a pin."
Both Takumi and Ryoma shared alarmed looks before Ryoma said, "You better not."
Instead of saying something out loud, Shiro silently wished that his dad would butt out of everything and mind his own business.
As the sun began to set, Ryoma announced that he and Shiro should be getting home before the traffic hits. Although it is rather late, Shiro didn't want to leave. They'd only been there for a few hours, and he was having so much fun – way more fun than he ever could at home.
"I wanna stay here though," said Shiro. "Why do we have to go home now?"
After handing Shiro his pair of shoes, Ryoma straightened up. "It's getting late, so you need to tell Uncle Takumi goodbye for now. And you can go upstairs and tell Aunt Oboro and Kiragi goodbye as well."
Shiro groaned. "Ugh, but why do we have to go now?"
"I'm not going to repeat myself Shiro. Let's go."
"Maybe I don't wanna go back home with you," Shiro mumbled.
"Excuse you?"
Before things could escalate any further, Takumi said, "Ryoma, it's okay. You can let him stay here until Sunday. Oboro and I don't mind."
Ryoma cast his son a stern look as he blew a raspberry at him before asking if Takumi was positively sure about this. "I mean, you already have your hands full with Kiragi, and I didn't bring any spare clothes for Shiro either."
"I'm sure. And he's got a few spare clothes around here that I can find if I looked hard enough. Besides, I haven't seen Shiro in a while. We've got a lot of catching up to do." This was Takumi's way of saying "Go home and relax. You two just need some time apart," and reluctantly, Ryoma agreed.
As strained as their relationship was, the two of them never really spent any time apart, but maybe this was for the best. "I'll leave him in your hands then." There wasn't an incentive to tell Shiro to behave himself this time.
He was getting exactly what he wanted, so he was sure to be on his best behavior. Their goodbye was the most awkward it's ever been. No hugs and no hair ruffling – just a quick "bye" and "see you on Sunday."
As Ryoma settled into his car and started the ignition, he could only hope that Takumi was right about all of this.
It was exactly 10:33 a.m. when Shiro emerged from bed on Saturday morning to head to the kitchen for some much needed breakfast. He faintly recalled his uncle waking him up to tell him that breakfast was ready earlier today, but he wasn't sure if he'd been dreaming or not.
On his way downstairs, he passed the nursery where Oboro and Kiragi were. With an enthusiastic smile, Shiro popped in to say "good morning" only for his voice to trail off halfway into greeting the two of them.
"Oh, good morning, Shiro," Oboro smiled. "Did you have a good sleep?"
"Uh-huh…" He nodded, eyes squinting slightly at the bizarre sight in front of him. There his cousin was, nestled in front of his mother's bare breast. He'd never seen anything like it before, and it was kind of weird. "Um, Aunt Oboro, what are you doing?"
"Hm? I'm feeding Kiragi breakfast," she answered. "Well, second breakfast. He's always hungry…"
"Okaaaay, but, why are you feeding him your boob?" He asked. "Can't he eat like a normal person?"
Oboro made a face, and gave a snort before giving a roar of laughter. "Oh Shiro, this is called breastfeeding, and it's how babies are fed. It's easier for them to have milk from their mommies than regular milk, so that's why I'm doing it. It's very common. I'm even sure your mom did it with you."
Shiro's face soured. His mother? Doing something like that to him? She'd never! "My mom would never do that. That's gross."
It took all of Oboro's willpower to keep from laughing once more. "It's not gross, it's a part of life. Plenty of animals do it – dogs, cats – you name it. And I'm 90 percent sure your mom breastfed you."
At this point, Shiro placed his hands over his ears and began to walk out, leaving Oboro to giggle about his naivety. His hands dropped to his sides as soon as he saw his uncle in the kitchen. "There you are, sleepyhead." Takumi smiled. "I was wondering when you'd wake up."
The only thing Shiro could do was smile sheepishly. "Hehe, I was pretty tired last night. But I didn't just wake up. I was… upstairs… with Aunt Oboro."
Takumi placed a delicious looking omelet onto Shiro's plate, along with some rice. "Ah, so she was up there laughing a storm because of you," he said before moving to place the dish at the table. "What'd you say, Mr. Comedian?"
Shiro took his seat at the table and didn't waste time digging into his breakfast. "I wasn't being funny, she was being weird. She was feeding Kiragi all weird. And then she told me that my mom did it to me. Can you believe that?"
A small chuckle escaped past Takumi's lips. "Yes. Yes I can. Babies need their mom's milk because it's healthy for them."
He huffed. "My mom never did that."
"Don't think so, huh? Why don't you ask your dad?" At the mentioning of his father, Shiro grew quiet, and that's when Takumi knew that he hit on a very sensitive subject – one that needed to be touched on. "Hey Shiro, I want to know why you and your dad aren't getting along. You guys were really close. What happened to that?"
Shiro shrugged, but Takumi pressed a little harder. "You don't know? So you're telling me you're mad at him just because, and that there's no reason? I don't believe that for a second, Shiro. You're going to have to find a better excuse than that."
"It's not for no reason, it's just… he hates me, and he hates my mom too," said Shiro. "So why should I be nice to him if he's not nice to us?"
"What'd your dad do that was so bad?"
With a small sigh, Shiro began to explain everything he could in the best way that he could. He started off with the woman his father secretly brought home, then with the constant arguments they got into, and ended with how Ryoma would always wind up ignoring him.
"He always wanted to talk to me about him and that lady he invited over, but every time he did, he never apologized," Shiro told him. "So why should I talk to him when he's not even sorry about what he did? I don't even like being at home with him anymore."
"I see. I understand why you're angry. You think your dad is hurting your mom, and you feel hurt by that, right?" Takumi asked. Shiro nodded. "Well, as much as I understand it, this isn't the way to do things, Shiro. I… heard about all the fights and misbehaving at school, you know?"
He frowned. "Ugh, did Dad tell you that?"
"He did. He told me because he was worried about you, and that he didn't know what to do, or how to help you," Takumi explained. "Think about it – hurting other people for no reason other than the fact that you're angry at your dad – is that really such a good idea? If your mom were to see you acting like this, what would she say?"
Shiro's eyes widened. He never thought about it. What would she say to him? Would she side with him, and be angry at his father too? But, no matter how Shiro thought about it, he remembered how much his mom loved his dad. She could never be angry at him.
But could Shiro say the same thing about his father in regards to his mother?
"She… she'd pick my side right?" Shiro asked. "Because he picked another lady, and he shouldn't do that. It's wrong…"
"You think so?" Takumi asked. "Why shouldn't he pick another woman?"
"Because Mom loves him!" Shiro cried. "And… and even if he's lonely without her, I'm still here. So he doesn't need anybody else… he should be happy with us so, why does he hate us?"
Takumi's comforting hand rested on Shiro's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. His eyes began to sting, and the tears began to roll steadily down his cheek. "Your father doesn't hate you, this I know for a fact."
"Yeah right," Shiro mumbled.
"It's true," Takumi said. "He loves you more than you know, but he's also a little lonely without your mom. Even though she isn't here anymore, your dad knows that no one will replace her. I think she'd want you two to meet new people, and have new adventures. That would make her the happiest."
Shiro sat quietly, mulling over every single word that left his uncle's lips, but this was a little hard to grasp.
Takumi could tell that Shiro wasn't getting it, so he decided to put it into terms that his nephew would understand. "Let's say, in your entire rock collection, there's this cool-looking one that sparkles and is your favorite color. But then you lost it, never to find it again. Following me so far?"
Shiro nodded.
"Okay, so after you lost it, you grew sad. It was your favorite one, and you loved it more than anything. Even though you have a bunch of other rocks, that one was the best, and now it's gone. What would you do afterwards? Would you never pick up another stone ever again?"
Slowly, Shiro answered, "No… you keep looking. Every rock is different, and they all have things about them that make them special and – oh."
A smile broke out on Takumi's face. "See? You're starting to get it. The same goes with people too. We all know it's sad, to lose someone close to us, but you promise to never forget them as you keep living your life. Isn't that why you and your dad got all those flowers in the first place?"
He suggested getting them so that his mother could see how they lived, and how happy they were – and if she's happy with seeing how their lives are changing then… "Oh no… the flowers are all dead and she probably saw us fighting… She'd be really sad, wouldn't she?"
"Mhmm," Takumi nodded. "She wouldn't want to see that. And I think deep down, you and your dad don't want to keep fighting either. You're a good kid, Shiro, you just have to have another look at what made you upset and your father's side of things. Talk to him."
Takumi's words slowly sink in, changing the perspective he's held for so long. Shiro was a little nervous opening up to him again after all this time, but he knew his uncle was right. He should talk to him again.
On Saturday afternoon, Orochi agreed to see Ryoma again in person after a period of chatting over the phone. The first time they spoke was when Orochi called him the day after he was told about Shiro fighting another student for no apparent reason.
She said something along the lines of, "You fool! Why didn't you tell me about your wife's passing?"
Apparently, he and Orochi shared a mutual friend, Kagero, who told her about Ryoma's late wife after Orochi complained about the terrible date. What a small world they lived in. Ryoma told her that he wanted to talk to her about it the day before, but something came up at his son's school, and their relationship had really taken a turn for the worst.
Ever since then, Orochi would send text messages of encouragement and would lend an ear whenever Ryoma needed to talk (and it was rare for him to share his problems with others, so when he did, Orochi felt as if she were someone he could trust).
As they sat down at a café for coffee, Ryoma explained how awkward saying goodbye to him yesterday was, and how he left with his heart feeling heavy. "I feel like the distance between us shouldn't have gotten this far, but it has, and I don't know what to do… he won't even let me in."
Orochi hummed in thought momentarily. "Hmm, like father like son…"
Ryoma's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"The two of you seem to have trouble letting people in, it seems," she said before taking a sip of her coffee. "I'm curious though, how do you speak to him? What words do you use when you communicate with him? Those are key, you know."
How he spoke to him? Once he put some thought into it, he immediately felt ashamed. Shiro did say that he was always yelling at him when they were arguing. Nowadays, he didn't say much of anything. He sighed. "The way I've been talking to him hasn't been the best, or very effective… and it's so bad that I can't even approach him anymore. He doesn't want anything to do with me."
"Well, if you can't talk to him to tell him how you feel, do something to show him how you feel," said Orochi. "Something that says, 'I didn't mean to hurt you.'"
Ryoma tapped his finger on the small round table in thought before an idea struck him. "Ah! The primroses!"
"Primroses?" She parroted. "Hmm, I was sure he'd be into trucks or something."
"No, no," Ryoma said. "Those flowers are very important to him. They were his mother's favorite. We went out and purchased some for almost every room in the house, but since we've grown apart, we've never gone out to replace them anymore."
"Ohh, now that you mention it, I did see a bunch of them there the last time I visited. So that's why there were so many," Orochi said, more to herself than Ryoma. "I think it's a wonderful idea! Let's go get some now!"
Ryoma's eyes widened. "N-now? You want to buy them now?"
"Of course! Shiro comes back tomorrow, doesn't he? This is your only window of opportunity!" With that, the two of them left to fetch primroses at the flower shop (but not before Ryoma paid for their coffee and pastries at the café).
Orochi ordered dozens of them, way more than Ryoma thought he needed, and way too much for what he was currently carrying in his wallet at the time. However, Orochi was the one who offered to pay for them.
"Are you sure?" Ryoma asked. "I wouldn't want you to spend your money needlessly–"
"There you go again," she laughed. "I'm not needlessly spending my money. I'm buying a present for you and your family. Please tell me you'll accept it on behalf of them."
There was a tightness in Ryoma's chest, and there could've been one of two things causing it. Orochi's smiling face and kind gesture was one possibility. The other was that she recognized Scarlet as a part of his family, and not only purchased these flowers to mend the relationship between father and son, but to pay her respects to the woman who he and Shiro loved dearly.
All Ryoma could manage was a small, "thank you," and as the two of them left the flower shop, Ryoma turned to Orochi and said, "Let's try going on another date sometime. I think I'm truly ready this time, but only if you are too."
Orochi's smile this time was warm and rather gentle. "I'm ready whenever you are."
The drive back home was just as quiet as the drive to Takumi's house, but this time, Aqua's new hit single hadn't been playing at all today. If Shiro remembered correctly, a rather upbeat pop song from the singer Layla came on when his father asked him how his weekend went.
"Fine," was his answer. "It was fine… and yours?"
Ryoma looked shocked to hear him ask, and responded with a "Mine was fine as well," of his own. "Did… you have fun?"
"Mhmm," said Shiro who idly played with his Captain Arthur action figure. Every time there was a moment of silence between them, the awkwardness would practically seep in through the open windows of their car. It was almost suffocating.
Despite that fact, they said nothing to each other, even though Shiro so desperately wanted to ask his father if he truly hated him for the way he acted, and even though Ryoma wanted to ask what he could do to make things right between them.
So they continued their drive home in silence.
Once they were home, Shiro headed straight to his room. "I feel tired, so I'm going to bed," he said.
"It's only half past seven," Ryoma countered. "You usually go to bed at nine."
He knew that, but he needed some time to himself to "reevaluate" some things. Uncle Takumi taught him what the word meant yesterday. "Yeah, but I'm tired."
"I see," said Ryoma quietly. "Well, I won't keep you up any longer. Goodnight, Shiro."
"G'night Dad."
As soon as Shiro stepped into his room, the faint smell of fresh flowers filled the air. Primroses, with little droplets of water threatening to spill from their white petals, rested in a vase on his windowsill. They looked so fresh and vibrant – when did his father have the time to replace them?
After closing the door behind him, Shiro slowly made his way over to the bouquet, staring at them in awe. His father really did care. He must have if he brought so many of them while the two of them apart.
Tears ran down reddened cheeks as he stared directly into the yellow eyes of the primroses. Could his mother actually see him? And if so, was she able to see all terrible things he'd done to the people around him.
Just the thought of it made him sob. All his mother got to see was how mean he'd been to his father, and all she got to hear was the yelling between the two of them, and how awful he'd been to the rest of his classmates.
Silently, he wished he could just disappear – never to be seen again.