Beyond
I bolt upright and find myself shaking viciously. Another dream. I was on fire. I felt the pain as though it were real. I heard a woman's voice and woke up. But I am alone as normal. I brush my hair out of my eyes and hold my head in my hands. I laugh nervously.
"It's alright BB. It's not real…It's not real…" My voice falters. When did I start calling myself that? I shake my head, deciding I don't care. I glance at my clock. It's half six. I may as well get up.
I stumble to the shower like a zombie, nearly falling asleep under the running water. I dry off my hair and pull on a black shirt and jeans, making my way downstairs. Everyone else is in the Livingroom now, except L and A. Obviously L was locked in his room following his episode in the woods. The news is on the TV and everyone watches intensely. But everyone looks up as a small blue and white boy walks into the room apprehensively and sits on the armchair in the corner. Only he is sitting on his toes with his knees against his chest. When they don't stop staring he glares at them with dark rimmed eyes, and they look away instantly. I watch L out of the corner of my eye, listening to the news. L's face twitches at the news story.
"The police are saying that the two victims were a couple living in an isolated cottage with their 13 year old son, Lawliett, who disappeared after the murders, but there is some evidence to suggest that he was present during the murders, and left afterwards." The story drags on with L looking more and more uncomfortable with each word, especially when they give a description of him. When the story finishes, someone turns the television off and everyone turns to stare at L. That was when the taunts began. L tries to explain what happened, but no one cares. The thing about living in an orphanage full of geniuses is they know exactly what to say to degrade someone to nothing. That is how they become good at interrogation. L, however left promptly. No one else was at the right angle to realise he was crying but me. But I said nothing throughout the whole incident. Then a thought crosses my mind and I smile darkly.
If this carries on, I could convince someone to kill him. Then the future where he arrests me cannot happen. BB smiles at me nodding in approval at my thoughts. At this moment, I don't even consider that I should be disturbed at my being more and more like the future murderer that I saw all the way back in the basement, before I murdered my sister…
As the months pass, the situation with L only worsens. All but a small group of people target him, but in particular, there's Randy. One of the older kids at Wammys, and the sort of person to find any excuse to abuse someone. But I don't care. How could I? My mind is way too distorted at the moment. One day as im walking down a corridor with A, we pass Randy storming off with a furious expression. Curious, I ask what's wrong.
"That little freak kicked me. Full on roundhouse to the face. I'll give it to him, he is stronger than he looks." He glowers. I find a small smile tug at the corner of my lip.
"Really? That's strange. He doesn't seem like the type to do something like that…" I smirk. I see A glance at me nervously out of the corner of my eye.
"I don't know. I still think the little runt killed his parents. So it doesn't surprise me too much." He replies, his anger ebbing away slowly. Ha. Got ya.
I smile in mock thought, and I put my arm casually over Randy's shoulders, dragging him in the direction of an empty hallway.
"I'll catch up with you later A." I shout, closing the door. I let my smile fade, and bite my thumb nail to appear like im thinking. But I know exactly what im doing.
"I agree with you R. I don't feel safe knowing that we could be living with a murderer." I turn away so he can't see my mouth curving evilly into a smile again. Randy clears his throat.
"I see what you mean. What are you suggesting Birthday?" Yes. I have you now. Manipulation is fun.
"I suggest that you, and your friends dispose of him before anyone else is in danger. Besides, it's revenge for the kick, right?" I turn and see Randy smiling too.
"Yeah. That's a good plan…"
It kicks off two weeks later. The plan was very simple. Kill L. It doesn't matter how. But Randy and his two rather large friends choose baseball bats. I almost feel sorry for L. Almost. I leave them as they approach the hallway where L's room is located. I turn around to find Kara hovering directly in front of my face, staring into my eyes.
"What do you want?" I ask sourly, walking straight past her. She looks furious.
"What is wrong with you?!" she follows me, but I pay her no attention. I don't care what she has to say. When she won't shut up, I have no choice but to listen.
"There is nothing wrong with me! Nothing at all. I have always been this way and I want L Lawliet dead." I reply gruffly. She sighs and rolls her eyes.
"You know that won't work. You've seen his lifespan."
"It's worth a try."
I hear the sounds of faint cries and the thud of someone falling to the ground, but I don't bat an eye. This seems to wind Kara up even more.
"Why don't you care? What would your sister say if she saw what you are now?" Her cold words stop me dead in my tracks. I turn around slowly to face her, my eyes narrowed. Furious. Insane.
"Don't you dare, because it won't work. As far as im concerned, Alodia is nothing. Just one of many victims now. It's true that I loved her once. But I don't care anymore. I don't!" I yell at her, my voice rising with every word. She, however, calms down. Her voice vaguely kind. She takes a breath.
"Then why are you crying?"
A
I hear the sound of heavy footsteps upstairs followed by Rogers's angry sounding voice calling everyone to the living room. Everyone stumbles in, confused, as Roger and Watari glance around the room. Quickly I note that 4 people are missing. L, randy and his two friends. Watari also notices this.
"Where are the others? I know somebody knows!" Watari shouts sternly. I hear B clear his throat next to me, and I glare at him in horror as he speaks very calmly.
"Outside, beating L up." Everyone in the room turns towards him in surprise. Except Watari who leaves the room quickly. I see the Shinigami, Kara, grimace as B speaks. Roger stares at him disgustedly for a second before also leaving the room. I Grab B by the shirt and drag him out of the room harshly.
"What?" he asks puzzled as I shut the door behind us. I find myself very tempted to break his arm at his cold words.
"What do you think B? I know it was you. You sent them after him. didn't you?" I raise my voice and slam B against a wall, still holding onto his shirt. His mouth curves into a smile, apparently amused by my anger.
"So what If I did? Why do you care so much?" He sneers. I tighten my grip and lower my voice to not attract attention from the Livingroom.
"He hasn't done anything to deserve this! He is not a killer, he is not remotely evil, unlike you." I scowl angrily. The smile doesn't fade from B's face, making me want to injure him even more.
"Come on A. I may be evil, but I never actually hurt the kid myself. Yet. Randy would have acted eventually anyway. I was just speeding it up." Finally my annoyance peaks and I can't stop myself-much like B now that I think about it.
I curl my fist and land a punch to his jaw, hitting his head on the wall before falling to the ground as I let go of his shirt. For a moment he just sits there, stunned, but he gathers his thoughts and turns his head back up towards me, clicking his jaw.
"You know that really hurt." He pouts sarcastically, smiling a little. In one sudden, swift movement, he swipes my feet out from under me and I too fall to the floor, hitting my head and sitting up angrily to face him.
"Now was that really necessary Alejandro? You know I would beat you in a fight, don't try me. I didn't do anything wrong. I knew that the scrawny little runt wouldn't die, I've seen his lifespan. It's just that I saw an opportunity to save myself a whole lot of trouble in the future, and I took the chance. Wouldn't you have done the same?" B's face takes on a sad, angry expression as he speaks, which I ignore. Instead I stand up and start to walk away, calling back;
"No Beyond. That's not what I would have done…" I drag my feet to my room and sit heavily on the floor with my back against a wall, after locking the bedroom door. I cross my arms over on my knees and bury my face in them, sobbing sudden, uncontrollable tears. Muttering my thoughts to myself as there is no one else to care.
"Im losing him…im losing my only friend, and there's nothing I can do to stop it…" I feel a mixture of hot, and numb. Emotional and empty. I don't know what to feel. I move my head up to stare at the ceiling, my thoughts trailing off, conjuring disturbing images in my mind. A body hanging from the ceiling. Mine. I hear a knock at the door and a quiet voice. I wipe the moisture from my face and unlock the door to see my little brother standing there, looking very concerned. I see more thought cross his eyes than that of any other two year old I have ever met. Scarily clever at such a young age…
"Why were you crying?" he asks with a tiny, sad voice knotted with worry. I force a smile and pick him up, hugging him close.
"I wasn't crying Matty. Im fine." I answer, holding back the shaking in my voice. Very calmly Matt looks me in the eyes for a moment, apparently thinking, before shaking his head and hugging me again, responding with: "its okay. I know you're not. I'll just hug you till you feel better!" he smiles lightly, I smile back sadly.
I rest my hand on the back of Matts head as he wraps his arms around me tightly humming the Mario bros theme to himself happily, forcing me to chuckle a little. What would I do without you little brother? I smile and shake my head. That thought is not even worth considering. But I wonder, if Alodia were still alive, would any of this have ever happened?
Two days have passed since I spoke, or even saw B. It's unusual to not see him skulking about the house. I look around my bedroom. Milky beams of silky moonlight flood the floor through the open window.
"How long have I been sitting here?" I murmur to myself. I must have lost track of time whilst daydreaming. I shake my head, sweeping my hair out of my eyes with both hands. I sigh dejectedly.
"Not that it really matters…Nobody missed me anyway." I stand shakily and make for my door. Heading to B's room to sort out our previous conversation. I recall what B said as I trudge quietly down the corridor.
"Come on A. I may be evil, but I never actually hurt the kid myself. Yet." I scowl a little as I remember it. I mutter under my breath again.
"Does he not care for anyone anymore? And if that's true, where does that leave me?" Just as I finish muttering, I hear someone coming up the stairs. Who else is going to be awake at this time of night? My question is quickly answered, and being human, my breath catches in my throat as I observe his physical state. His wrist is in a cast. He is limping terribly, struggling to get up the stairs. The dark circles under his sad, drooping eyes are dark as obsidian. His face has various cuts and he has a black eye. As I watch, he stumbles and starts to fall. Instinctively, I lurch forwards and catch him, hauling him as gently as possible back to his feet.
"Are you alright?!" I ask urgently. The boy seems dazed at first, not responding.
"L?" I say tentatively. His eyes flicker over to me. He flinches away a little, but mutters,
"Thanks…" moments later Watari runs up the stairs towards us, looking slightly panicked.
"L! Are you alright?" He asks hurriedly. L looks like he wants to roll his eyes, but instead he shakes his head.
"Yes Watari. Im fine, I just stumbled, that's all." Watari relaxes a little but not much as L continues to walk.
"It's ok Watari, I'll be fine on my own. Please go to bed. You have important tasks to complete tomorrow." He sighs tiredly. Watari looks sceptical, but walks off nevertheless. I however, cannot make myself simply leave him. As he walks, I see that there is blood coming through his white shirt on his back in thin strips, and he falls again, or almost. I catch him again.
"Let me help you. Please?" I beg. I couldn't live with myself if I left him to struggle. He's weary, and flinches at first as I take one of his arms and drape it over my shoulder, but he's too tired to protest.
"It's okay, lean on me." I smile kindly. And he does. I notice how light he is. If the situation demanded it, it would be easy for someone to carry him.
"Why are you helping me?" L asks quietly, timidly. This kid is scared of everyone…and its B's fault.
"Because unlike everyone else at this stupid institution, I am human, and I can't let someone suffer knowing I can help. Which ones your room?" I finish firmly. L nods at the door at the end of a hallway, and hobbles (with my help) in through the door. I help him over to his bed and he sits down, grimacing. Then I remember:
"Your back. Its bleeding. I should take a look at it, if you'll let me?" I frown sadly. L hesitates, but quickly folds under the pain of his wounds, and nods.
"Ok then." I sigh in relief. I don't want to leave him like this, it would kill me. L takes off the blood stained shirt and flinches as I gently look over the thin gashes on his back.
"The hospital did a really poor job if you ask me. Some of your stitches have ripped." I sigh in disbelief as I clean off the blood with a damp cloth, being careful not to press to harshly on the damaged skin.
"I can do stitches. They taught us some odd skills at my old school." I find the right equipment in the first aid kit in the bathroom, including antiseptic. L cries out a little as the antiseptic works its way into the wounds, but bites his lip and sits silently as I redo the torn stitches. When im finished, L actually smiles at me a little.
"Thank you A. Really, you're the only decent human being besides Watari I have met here." I smile back standing up.
"You're welcome L. No one should be treated as they have treated you. I hope it gets better soon. You should get some rest." I say solemnly as I turn to leave the room.
"Good night A." I hear him murmur.
"Good night L." I murmur back.
Now to find Beyond, and see what the fuck is wrong with him.
"B? You awake?" I knock on B's bedroom door gently and listen for a reply. I hear a thud on the door followed by B's voice.
"Really A? You know I don't sleep. Come in dumbass." Somewhat hesitantly I push open the door, facing the door to shut it. As I turn back, something flies past my face, so close it's touching the end of my nose as it sticks out of the door. Letting out a cry of surprise, I stare at the sleek knifes blade and turn to find B sitting against the opposite wall with a knife poised in his hand. His face holds an amused smile, eyes glinting red almost dangerously. Kara is sitting on the edge of the bed writing something in her death note. Presumably so she doesn't die anytime soon.
"What the hell B! You could have hit me!" I shriek, moving towards him, being careful to stand to the side of where the knife is pointing. His face falls a little, and he lowers the knife a little.
"Sorry A. Didn't mean to scare you. I don't miss anyway. Watch." He smiles. In two swift movements, he throws the knife forward by the blade, catching the handle between his toes, before flicking it forward and hitting the creepy voodoo doll he has pinned to the door directly in the head. I flick my eyes back to him to see he already has another knife poised between his toes, moving it backwards and forwards like a dart. Shaking my head a little I sit down on the floor next to him and watch his movements.
"Why are you knife throwing anyway?" I ask worriedly only to receive a laugh in response.
"Im just passing the time. I haven't slept in days. I can't." Another knife hits the door with a quiet thud.
"I've been seeing things more frequently since…That thing with L." B sighs, ceasing the throwing and frowning intently, twirling a blade in his hand absently. He sighs, setting the knife down and pushing his hands through his hair slowly.
"I don't know what's wrong with me…but..." He hesitates and shakes his head.
"No, tell me. What?" I press on, grabbing B's shoulder comfortingly.
"I keep having these thoughts…bad dreams...I find myself wanting to hurt people whenever I am near to them. Especially L." He stares into my eyes, but I see his eyes sway to the point above my head briefly- when he catches me watching, he hurriedly looks away. I shrug my shoulders dismissively.
"But you won't actually hurt anyone. Ever. Will you?" I ask confidently. B looks away from me to look at the ceiling. Sighing, he replies:
"No. Of course not. I will not be a monster like my father."