I'm a Jedi, thought Luke as he stared at his reflection for the fiftieth time. I've always been a Jedi, but now I finally look like one.
Most beings found Jedi robes to be rather plain. Luke couldn't be any more at home in them. For the first time ever he had tabards, boots, a robe, and a full utility belt with all kinds of interesting gadgets in the three standard-issue pouches. The open spot above his left hip was reserved for a clip, from which would hang a lightsaber...the weapon of a Jedi. That was the only thing still missing from his attire, and Luke could hardly wait to build one. Already he was studying two other forms of combat and picking out which components he was going to use. Once he had a lightsaber, he really would be a Jedi.
Luke's smile was short-lived as he turned away from the reflective metal panel and sank into the nearest seat. A lightsaber wasn't the only thing missing from his life. Hearing that Anakin would not be training him after all and that Leia wasn't coming along- worse, that she wasn't even an official Padawan yet -had hit the boy hard. While he liked his new master very much, it just wasn't the same without Leia. It just didn't feel right.
It had only been two weeks since the Initiate Trials. Already there was a marked change in Luke's life. Not only did he wear the trappings and haircut of a Padawan learner, but he also followed a different schedule. Padawans lived their lives according to the schedules of their masters. Since Obi-Wan Kenobi was a member of the High Council he didn't live the usual semi-nomadic life of any other Knight or Master. Travel would be seldom, and only for the most important of missions. Council Members didn't call for backup. They were the backup. That was one of the reasons they didn't often take apprentices. Being an apprentice to a member of the High Council was more dangerous than even the life of a Jedi Sentinel in the Outer Rim. Serious injuries and death were less frequent, but they did occur. Even with one of the wisest, strongest Jedi in the galaxy, they were only mortal, imperfect beings. Any Jedi could come up against overwhelming odds and risk losing his or her life. It was part of the job description.
Danger didn't bother Luke. He didn't like getting hurt, but the thrill of helping people and seeing the most exciting places in the galaxy made all the risk worth it.
The only bad thing about having Obi-Wan for a master was that Obi-Wan had also trained Anakin. Luke expected to be compared with his father in everything, and felt anxious to live up to his father's reputation. On this, their first mission together, the pressure would be greater than ever.
"My, my. So quiet. Given the reports of your father, I expected you to be bouncing off the walls," remarked Obi-Wan as he entered the main hold with eyebrows lifted.
"Dad didn't say I was that bad, did he?" Luke cringed.
"No. But focus on the present, Luke. We cannot afford any distractions on this assignment," said Kenobi evenly. Only he could switch from his dry sense of humor to full 'Jedi Master' mode without a pause.
"Yes, Master," nodded Luke. He wasn't aware he was tapping his foot until Obi-Wan noticed.
The Jedi Master observed with his usual quiet strength. "No need to be on edge. Stay close, listen, and trust to the Force."
Luke nodded again. "I will, Master Kenobi. And I'm not nervous, just-" Obi-Wan's look of skepticism made Luke cringe and shrug. "Well...all right. I'm a little nervous."
Obi-Wan nodded slowly. "Not about the mission, I take it."
Luke blinked. It was a little unnerving how easy it was for Obi-Wan to get to the bottom of things. He was almost as good at it as Anakin. He had to shake his head. "Not really, Master. I'm...it's nothing."
Obi-Wan sank in the seat next to Luke's. "Hmm. I think it is something." When Luke shrugged, the Master sighed. "Luke, I realize it must be upsetting to have counted on having your father train you, and then find out it isn't going to happen."
The boy grimaced. He'd been hoping Obi-Wan wouldn't bring that up. "It is."
Obi-Wan pursed his lips, missing the old ways. "Disappointment is a part of life, Padawan. You mustn't dwell upon it. It distracts from the task at hand."
"I know, Master. I do miss my father and sister...but that's not why I'm nervous," confessed Luke.
"Oh?" Obi-Wan's silvering brows lifted yet again. This was a surprise. "Is it something you wish to discuss?"
"Well..." Luke threw a cautious glance to his new master. While he had known Obi-Wan since infancy and was comfortable talking with him, it was one thing to see him as a friend, another to see him as an older Jedi, and something else entirely to be Obi-Wan's apprentice. Things were that much more difficult to speak aloud. "I don't know."
He does know, and he doesn't want to tell me. Obi-Wan let out a slow breath. He certainly hoped that Luke hadn't learned this lack of communication from his father. But, as he had learned with Anakin, pushing someone to open up before they were ready to, never worked.
While Obi-Wan had watched Luke and Leia grow from babyhood to the year before adolescence, in a way they were still strangers to him. He didn't know them like their father did. Luke and Obi-Wan would have to forge a bond as master and apprentice if this was going to work. That took time. This was only their first mission.
After a moment's reflection, Obi-Wan nodded. "All right. If you do decide to tell me, I'll be here." He patted Luke on the back before rising again to his feet.
Luke bit his lip before jumping up to follow. "Wait...Master Kenobi?"
That was quick. Obi-Wan turned back to the boy with interest. "Yes?"
Luke tilted his head to one side. "Do you think I'll be as good a Jedi as my dad?"
Ah. Caught in a strange place between amusement and concern, Obi-Wan lifted his brows yet again. "Is that what is bothering you, my young apprentice? You worry about living up to your father's reputation?"
Slowly Luke nodded. "Yes."
It was no surprise. The Skywalker family was very loving, of course, but this went a step beyond normal admiration of a parent. Luke and Leia all but worshiped their father. Such a level of attachment was unnerving to Obi-Wan, and he wondered how much of it he needed to suppress now that the Code had been changed. He eased back into a sitting position and motioned for Luke to join him. "I see. Well, Luke, the first thing you must remember is that no Jedi is perfect. All of us, no matter how powerful or talented, are not idols to be put upon pedestals and worshiped."
"I know," said Luke easily. "I wouldn't want to be, anyway."
"I wasn't speaking of you, young one," cautioned Obi-Wan. "Admiration of fellow Jedi is fine, but it must not go any further than that...and that includes your father."
Luke looked ready to protest, but nodded anyway.
"The other thing you must remember is that no two Jedi can have the same strengths. Take yourself and your sister, for instance. You are twins. Does that make you the same person?"
"Of course not," Luke snorted. "She's a girl."
"I meant differences besides gender, age, or even species. You do not have the same talents, do you?"
"No. She's better at talking to people, and getting them to listen. I'm better at using a lightsaber and levitation."
Obi-Wan hid the smile that resulted from Luke's matter-of-fact assessment. "Exactly. Now, if you and your sister are not the same person, how many more differences would there be between yourself and your father?"
Luke nodded slowly. "I think I see what you mean. Dad says Leia and I are better at using the Force to talk to each other than he is."
Obi-Wan spread his hands. "There you have it. The point is, Luke, you are not your father, nor does anyone expect you to be. A lack of talent in one area does not make one Jedi any less than another. As such, we cannot compare ourselves with others or set ourselves to their standards. Where would the interest be in the galaxy if all of us- even the Jedi -all had the exact same talents?"
The boy made a face. "It would be boring."
The Jedi Master smiled and took Luke's shoulder. "Exactly right, my young apprentice. Embrace what talents you have and focus on how best to use them for the benefit of the galaxy."
Finally a tentative smile returned to Luke's face. He nodded. "I will, Master Obi-Wan. That's why I want to be a Jedi; to help people."
Obi-Wan lifted a skeptical eyebrow. "And to use a lightsaber and explore the galaxy, am I right?"
Luke's cheeks colored. "That, too."
The Jedi Master waggled a finger. "A Jedi does not crave adventure or excitement." His amusement faded into a look of concern. "Though I fear we may encounter entirely too much of it today."
Luke broke into a grin, trying and failing to conceal his enthusiasm. "Great! Oh, I mean...poor us."
Obi-Wan was unsure whether to laugh or frown at the eager young boy. He is more like his father than he knows. The graying Master settled for allowing a chuckle. At least he's honest.
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Some hours later after landing on none other than his father's homeworld of Tatooine, Luke shifted about uncomfortably in his dark blue cloak. "What was my name again?" To his annoyance he would not be allowed to announce he was a Jedi to the galaxy. His first mission with Obi-Wan would see them both traveling incognito. Consequently, they would be using aliases. Luke didn't like his ragged and baggy blue and gray outfit at all. It itched.
Obi-Wan's serious eyes clouded with worry, and he sighed. Perhaps he is too young and too high-strung for such a mission. "You are Deak Starkiller, traveling with your eccentric uncle to procure some power converters for your moisture vaporators."
Luke nodded, scratching the back of his neck. "Okay. And your name is Ben, right?"
Obi-Wan nodded once. "Correct. Remember, Padawan, in order for this ruse to be effective, you must not call me Master or by my name."
The boy grinned. "Sure, Uncle Ben. And my name's not Padawan."
Obi-Wan gave a faint smile. "Right you are, nephew. Come on, then." He pulled his own dusty gray hood low over his head and pressed the release for the hatch. It slid open, revealing a very uninspiring landscape of sand dunes and rock formations just touched by the first pink light of dawn. The shape of a haphazardly-organized town loomed in the distance.
Luke wasn't impressed and wore a frown as he followed Obi-Wan down the ramp. Used to the hustle and bustle of Coruscant and the pastoral landscape of Naboo, Tatooine was about the ugliest place he had ever seen. "People actually live on this rock?" he asked in disbelief.
Obi-Wan frowned at the boy. "Never judge a planet by first impressions. But yes, people do live here...and you must behave as though you do, too."
Luke nodded reluctantly, still scratching at the itchy blue tunic and wishing he was somewhere else. This was not what he had had in mind when imagining his life as a Jedi. "So how are power convertors going to get us to the Senator?" he wanted to know. This certainly seemed a roundabout way to locate a missing politician who had gotten too free with his cards.
"In all likelihood our friend is being held by the Hutts," explained Obi-Wan. "We have a contact to locate, and if one is going to climb a ladder, one must always begin at the bottom."
He can say that again, thought Luke as he took another look around. Tatooine definitely qualified as the bottom end of something. Hopefully it wouldn't smell as bad as it looked.
****A/N: No, I have not abandoned this fic. I know it's been months since the last update, but what can I say? Job searches, finishing up an epic fantasy novel (not FanFic), and an insane amount of reading will tend to cramp one's style. More IS coming...but I cannot guarantee when. :( Hang in there!****