The light breaking into the room through the window rests on my eyelids as I slowly wake up. I open my eyes and stare straight upwards, flicking my eyes slightly to the security camera in the corner of the room and sighing. I knew this would happen. I slowly push myself off the bed onto shaky legs waiting for the sedative to fully wear off. When my sight is clear, I look at my surroundings. Through the window I can see that im still at Wammys. But im in a white room with cushioned walls and floor- not exactly a padded cell as it has a window and a bed. But it's safer than a normal room. The window is locked and barred on the outside.
"So I can't jump…" I mumble under my breath.
Only now that im completely awake do I realise that my movement is restricted. I try to move my arms but find them strapped across me in a white jacket. I groan irritated.
"This can't be happening! How long are they going to keep this up?" I kick a wall in frustration but of course it's padded so it doesn't do much good. I calm down and quickly put on my stoic expression, falling to the floor and laying on my back with my reddish hair spread behind my head like a bloodied halo. I turn my head to the camera and breathe shakily.
"You know this won't do anything. You'll have to let me go eventually and when you do, I'll ty again." I laugh out loud. I hear a click and a voice answers me through a small speaker by the camera.
"But why A? Why are you so desperate to leave me?" Matt cries as I seize up with guilt.
"I...i..." I start to stutter, but I stop when the door opens with a small creak and Matt walks in with B by his side. They kneel by my side and B smiles sadly, shaking his head and pulling me to him suddenly in a hug.
"It's not that Matt. A loves you very much. He just needs time to realise that he has people who care. People he should talk to," He pauses and moves away to put an arm around Matts shoulder,
"And if he doesn't, I may just kill him myself."
Matt
"When are you gonna let him go! He won't do anything! I won't let him!" B yells across the desk at Watari who sighs impatiently but remaining sympathetic in his tone.
"You know we can't risk that B. Im sorry, but A has to stay where he is." The elderly man replies tiredly, rubbing his temples. B slams his hand down on the desk, making me jump and drop the video game Im playing. I pick it up with shaking hands and pretend to carry on playing, whilst im actually just listening to the conversation.
"Fuck that! Let him go or I swear I will fucking murder you!" B growls loudly. Watari takes no notice of the threat, instead glancing over in my direction with worried eyes.
"Keep your voice down Beyond, Matt doesn't need to hear your pathetic outbursts." He asserts calmly. This winds B up even more and he starts to pace, crazed look in his red eyes that remind me of my brothers scars and his raven hair ruffled ten times more than usual. Watari's eyes soften a little.
"B, when's the last time you had a good night's sleep? You're starting to look like L when he refuses to sleep for weeks." B sits down heavily in the chair in front of the desk and rests his head on his hands.
"About the same time you locked up A." He yawn fittingly. Watari smiles and stands up, walking towards me and ruffling my hair gently.
"I know you two are worried about A, but I promise that this is what's best for him at the moment. He appears to be making process with the Councillors. Another month and he should be good to go. All you can do is help him realize that he has people who care, and get some sleep. Okay?" Watari pushes open the door and walks out. B replies faintly to no one- "Yeah, I suppose..."
I tilt my head and crawl over to B, grabbing his arm that's hanging off the chair and hugging it. B looks down at me and smiles, holding me with his other hand for a while. Eventually we both stand and leave the room to go to bed. Once alone in my room I crawl onto my bed and cry silently into my pillow. Until I fall asleep.
I dream that im alone in a meadow full of black flowers. Cold rain falls around me. As I walk forward, towards a tree by a river, I know im being watched. No figure appears before me. Only a voice from somewhere around me. It could be in front, behind or to either side of me, but it seems to be in all of those directions all at once. The voice is female, or male. It's smooth and hoarse all at once. Like the universe is talking to me.
"Why are you crying Matt?" it asks sadly. I sit down by the tree and lean against it. I stare at the river as the river, slowly rises from the rain as I speak.
"I feel so alone. A is going to die. I can feel it. I have a bad feeling about what will come after. Especially with B." The water rises over my toes, but I stand still with the rain plastering my crimson hair to my cheeks, quivering with tears. As I continue to speak the mysterious voice speaks through me. The same words in every voice possible, all at once.
"I feel like im drowning in the sorrow that will come, the despair that has happened and I know, eventually the evil raven will emerge to kill the gentle dove, and the terror that follows will drag many down too. The evil raven will claim it's written in the numbers. Nothing can ever change it. It's too much for such a small child to deal with. Careful Mail Jeevas. Don't let your loneliness drop you into the arms of the evil raven. For he will kill your friend.
The water of the river rises to my eye level. I close my eyes and let the water drag me under, pulling me into the depths of my mind to try and puzzle out the latest cryptic message delivered though my dreams…
B
I stand in Matt's doorway leaning against the wall quietly listening as he talks in his sleep, having failed to fall asleep myself. I frown as I hear his clear words: "eventually the evil raven will emerge to kill the gentle dove." It makes me think of that vision I had all those years ago in the basement. A white figure, like a dove, dead by my hands, darkness. The evil Raven.
"Seems that Matt has had the same vision as me. Maybe in a more cryptic form though. The only thing that doesn't make sense to me, is why would I ever kill Coby?" I turn to Kara, whispering as I leave the room and close the door. She shrugs her shoulders and answers nonchalantly.
"B, I honestly don't know why you do anything anymore. Now go to sleep." I sigh in return and go back to my room to try sleeping again, but my dreams are plagued by scenes of murder and despair at my hands…
When morning comes I go straight to the observation room to ask to see A. Watari gives me the code to open the door and goes away to run an errand. I go inside to find A calmly reading a book on his bed. He looks up at me as I enter and smiles at me lightly.
"They took off the jacket, finally, my arms were starting to go numb." He puts down the book and holds his arms out in front of him to prove the point. As they've made him wear a short sleeved shirt, I can see what must be hundreds of scars all up his arms and wrists. All the way around. I force myself to stop staring and A drops his arms.
"So, are you feeling better now?" I ask cautiously. A shrugs a little and glances at the camera. I see what he means by it and I shake my head.
"No one's listening. And anyway, last night before I checked on Matt I snuck into the observation room and broke the speaker-microphone thing." A nods at the reply and relaxes his face into its neutral frown.
"A bit. But not as much as they think-They'd never let me go if they have even a tiny reason to believe that I'll try again." He looks down as he speaks, ashamed to meet my eyes.
"Well will you?" I frown. A doesn't reply. He looks up at me and catches me smirk. He lowers his eyebrows at me.
"What are you smirking at?" I laugh at him quietly.
"A, you know I can see your lifespan. If you plan to try anything, I'll know about it and lock you in a cupboard." A rolls his eyes and lies back in his bed.
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Or B, another idea, lend me that notebook and let me die of an accident or something. No one would ever know." A smiles jokingly. I grin and shake my head.
"I can't anyway. I asked Kara to hide it so I'd never be tempted to use it."
"Shame." A replies. "Fucking hell, im so tired. It's hard to sleep knowing that you're being watched. And I've been having weird dreams." I smile sadly, knowingly.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Must be something in the air." I mentally add in my head: Or something in the future. I sigh and try to forget about it. But all the different dreams I've been having are difficult to forget when I know they are visions of what's to come. I hear the voice inside my head again laughing.
Come on B. It will happen eventually... We both know you will be responsible for A's death, then the Dove, then soo many more. It's gonna be fun.
Two Years Later (Age 17)
I watch disinterestedly as the front door opens, and two new kids enter. I check their lifespans out of habit, and by default, their names two. The more boisterous of the boys runs in and skids, nearly crashing into a door. He has blonde/ginger hair and striking azure eyes-a wide grin plastered on his face. I smile-Just like his sister. Miheal Keehl. I guess that he's about 8 years old.
The smaller boy, who looks to be six, is much calmer as he trails in behind Watari. He twirls a lock of his snow-white hair around his finger, and clutches an almost nightmarish puppet in the other arm. His silvery eyes land on me, cold and calculating, before turning his head slowly, mumbling something to himself and walking off. A mini clone of his brother. Nate River.
I myself simply sit on the stairs with my head leaning against the banister, pressing my fingers on the throwing knife in my pocket until I feel warm blood trickling over my skin. I stare blankly at the boys as Matt comes into the room and introduces himself to them, instantly getting along with Miheal. Kara looks down at me, blatantly noticing the blood on my hands as I remove my hands from my pocket, but choosing to ignore it.
"Looks like Matt has a new friend. He won't need you anymore." She sighs bluntly. I nod in reply and stand to go upstairs.
"I don't care. I don't need anyone anyway..." I mutter, pushing my hands back into my pockets and nudging open my bedroom door with my shoulder. Kara looks puzzled.
"Why would you say that? You still have A." I roll my eyes and walk to my draws to take out a small medical kit, in which is a needle and thread, smearing blood both on the draw handles, and the box. I wipe the blood on my jeans and look at the cuts. Kara does the same.
"Those are deep B. Why did you do that?" I smile and laugh, walking to the mirror. I put my bleeding hand over the right hand side of my face, dragging red streaks from my hairline to my collarbone. I laugh again.
"Don't you love the contrast of blood against pale skin? I do. And the pain reminds me that im not dead. It definitely feels like it sometimes." I walk over to my bed and thread the needle, not even grimacing as I push the needle into my already raw skin and pull the channels of blood together. When im finished I use a shirt off my floor and a bottle of water to wash the blood away from my face and hands. I also change out of my bloodied clothes before sitting on my floor with my head against my bed, listening to my dark inner thoughts. With A in his current state, there's no one to talk to about them anymore, but hallucinations and visions occur more and more often now. Often cryptic, or so clear that I don't want to believe it. So I let myself zone out.
All I really want to do is kill somebody. I mull over different scenarios in my head for entertainment. I laugh to myself as I think of different things I could incorporate into a murder. I've had this great idea about using the victim's body as a clock to give clues about the next murder. Im not crazy. Im not a psychopath. But of course, that's exactly what a psychopath would say.
After a while I simply fall asleep, swimming in my own dark imagination.
Matt
"There's something weird about him. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it." Miheal seethes, storming down the hallway as I hurry to catch up.
"Chill Mells. He is a little strange, but aren't we all? Don't be so judgemental." Mello (as he prefers to be called) rolls his eyes and dramatically throws open the living room doors, throwing himself onto a sofa.
"Well yeah, But I mean, What's with the bloody puppet?!" He exclaims. I laugh at him, sitting next to him.
"I don't know. Near isn't that bad. I think he'd be nice if you got to know him." Mello looks at me sceptically, but simply shrugs.
"Yeah whatever Matt. Anyway, who's that kid you were talking to earlier at lunch? The one with the cat scratches." He asks with a mouthful of chocolate that he seemly got from nowhere.
Cat scratches? Oh.
"He's my brother. But he never speaks to me. I was just checking on him…" I trail off. Mello seems to understand that I don't want to talk about it and changes the subject a hundred more times before running off to find his sister to present his brilliant idea for a new chocolate bar.
I sigh through my teeth, blowing scarlet hair out of my eyes before sliding off the sofa to lie on my back on the blue carpeted floor, much like a corpse. I smirk. Ironic that I would say that-when I was filled with life not so long ago. I talk to myself out loud as no one else is here to listen.
"With Miheal as my only friend, im screwed. As great as he is, he has the attention span of a dead cat." I smile sadly. I jump as I hear a voice from the doorway that I don't recognise.
"I agree. He really is a most annoying child. Waaay to hyperactive. For Near anyway." I sit and turn around quickly to see who spoke. I jump back a little in shock as I didn't expect such a deep voice to belong to the person who had spoken. Never the less, I reply politely.
"Oh. Hello Near. I didn't know anyone was listening." As I speak, Near's mouth curves slightly into an uncharacteristically creepy smile. Near is known to be a very gentle, relatively quiet boy who only speaks to three people. His brother Coby, L and Elsie. But the times I've heard him speak, his voice is soft. Not at all how he sounds now.
"Oh not to worry. Near's not listening at all." He smiles, flicking a strand of hair off his face and staring at me in an unsettling way. I stand up and back off just a little.
"Why are you referring to yourself in third person? You're creeping me out." My voice quivers. As I speak, Near tilts his head and smiles wider.
"Near would be angry if I told you. But maybe I should. Near's irritating anyway." He starts to laugh, but stops midway and gasps falling to his knees. He starts to hit his head with tiny, curled up fists and furiously whispering, now in his normal voice.
"Shut up! Shut up Mello!" I lower my brow in confusion, but I step towards Near slowly, kneeling in front of him. He continues to hit himself on the sides of his head, his voice switching between normal and this "Mello" in a sort of argument. I realise that now's not the time to ask questions, so instead, I grab Near's wrists gently. He stops speaking, instead staring down at my hands with glossy eyes.
"Please don't do that Near. You'll hurt yourself. I won't ask if you don't want me to. We all have our secrets here. Just calm down ok?" Near slowly looks up at me and slowly nods. I release his wrists and sit on my heels. I smile kindly at him.
"What were you in here for anyway?" I ask tentatively. Near looks down shyly.
"I was watching you and Miheal. You seem like such good friends…im sorry. It was rude of me." He hangs his head. I laugh lightly.
"It's okay. Let me guess. Some problem in your past stopped you from ever making friend's right?" Near nods his head lightly.
"Yeah, pretty much…" He answers quietly. I smile.
"I'll be your friend. But I'd stay away from Miheal. He's got a weird idea that your crazy or something." I grin. Near smiles back.
"Well, obviously he's not wrong." I add. He rolls his eyes.
"Yeah well you were talking to yourself. That's a sign of madness."
"I guess you're right." I laugh standing and helping Near off the floor.