She yanked the door open and ran down the dimly lit hallways. She was almost at the doors that led to the courtyards when a strong hand caught her arm. "Milady, don't you think it would be nice to not have to change again?" Rorie joked as he spun her around to face him. He sobered at the sight of her tears though. His red eyebrows furrowed together as he pulled her small shaking form against himself.

She sank into him without hesitation and her body shook uncontrollably as her sobs raked her body. "I don't know if I can do this." She croaked.

"Do what, Lea?"

"Ser Gilmore," Her reply was cut off by Fergus, who was rushing down the hallway with his arms open wide for Lea to enter. He looked utterly concerned. "I'll take her from here." She was still shaking, and hiding her face in her hands so Fergus picked her up and cradled her against his chest. "You are dismissed."

He carried her up the two flights, never did he say anything, only held her tighter when she shook more violently. Once he reached her room he found Wynne was standing near the bed, lighting candles.

The older woman looked up and sighed when she saw Lea's small figure. "I do not think it was wise for her to come to dinner, my Lord."

He walked to the side of the bed that was nearest to the door and gently set her down. "I'm guessing that you know about all the problems that surround her and Alistair."

"I am well aware of the entire situation, but perhaps we could discuss this in the hall? It will do her no good to hear it being said another time." Wynne explained.

"Of course." Fergus brushed a stray piece of hair out of Lea's eyes and said softly to her, "Wynne and I will be in the hallway if you need us."

When she didn't respond Fergus gestured to the door. The pair slipped out of the room. When Fergus met Wynne's gaze he saw the pain that had settled on her aging features.

"During the Blight I warned both Lea and Alistair of the consequences that could possibly arise with their relationship. As you can see they didn't listen and now I'm afraid that they are both suffering greatly because of that."

"What did you warn them of?" Fergus asked.

"I told them that love was ultimately selfish, and at some point either one or both of them would get hurt by it." Wynne looked at the door that was blocking the sounds of Lea's tears, "But it doesn't have to be like this. If Lea could find a way to forgive him, then I do believe the problem would fix itself."

Fergus's dark eyebrows came together in confusion, "She still wouldn't be named Queen though."

"I am led to believe that the Court would be very supportive of that marriage actually; they wouldn't want the King's first child to be a bastard. That would be a scandal."

"What first child? Why would it be a bast—" Fergus stopped mid-sentence as realization dawned on him. His eyes widened, and a hand quickly covered his mouth, "Maker's breath."

Wynne, realizing her mistake, cursed. "She hadn't told you? Of course she hadn't told you, she had just found out herself." The frantic mage looked up at the still shocked Fergus. "You can't tell her that you know! This is something she must cope with on her own, before she can have people trying to dictate how she handles the situation. Let her tell you on her own time."

"With Alistair's child?" Fergus whispered.

She knew she had said too much, but part of her couldn't help but wonder if it would be best for Lea if her brother knew. "Yes with Alistair's child, but he doesn't know so you cannot talk about this near him."

"But she can't just not tell him about the heir she'll be giving birth to in a matter of months!" He whispered furiously. He dragged his hand through his hair and leaned against the wall.

"She has the option of... ending it now." Wynne said slowly.

"No."

"Fergus that's not your decision," she whispered harshly.

"That child is the heir to the throne! She can't just kill it!"

"But if it's something that she doesn't want, then I don't believe she should have to go through with it." Wynne explained levelheadedly. "If you have an issue with that, then maybe I should just take her away from Highever."

"I waited nearly a year to be reunited with my sister; she's all I have left, and you will not take her away from me." Fergus snarled.

"It was just a suggestion, I'm just trying to do what's best for the young woman I see as a daughter."

An emotion crossed Fergus's face so fast that Wynne barely had time to decipher, it quickly turned into a blank stare. "I think it would best if you retired for the night Wynne. I can handle my sister. I did for eighteen years without your help." He slid back into Lea's room without regarding Wynne's protests. He swiftly locked it behind him and went farther into the room.

Lea was still laying on her side, facing away from him, shutting him out without even trying. She had managed to change out of her gown and into a warmer nightgown, the dress she had been wearing was resting lazily on the floor beside the dresser. "Lea, we need to talk."

Her slightly shaking form didn't move, but she did speak. "I'm not ready to discuss anything yet, Fergus."

"You could've told me that you're with child, Alistair's child to be exact." He hissed.

Lea stopped shaking, sat up and slowly turned to face her furious brother. "Wynne said she wouldn't tell anyone." She whispered.

"Yeah well she let it slip, but it doesn't matter because you should have told me!" His voice was rising, and Lea had begun shaking again.

"I was planning on telling you, just after I had figured it all out in my own mind." Her voice was shaking as tears started sliding down her pale cheeks again.

"You're not even twenty years of age yet, and you're pregnant out of wedlock!" He was yelling now.

"What do you want me to do? End the pregnancy because trust me that has been an—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence. You cannot kill an heir to the throne of Fereldan." His voice was harsh, unforgiving.

"Fergus, I'm not sure that I even want to tell Alistair. All those issues I told you about earlier are still present." She whispered.

"You have to tell him. Every man has a right to know that he is a father. I'll give you until the Summer Solstice to tell him. If you don't, I will."

Lea's eyes widened in fear. "Summer Solstice is ten days away. You wouldn't do that to me." She choked out.

"Lea, this isn't just your child." Fergus explained much gentler that he had a moment before, "Technically speaking it belongs to Fereldan."

"I'm not even sure that it will survive the pregnancy, Fergus! It wasn't supposed to be possible for us to have one together." Lea rose out of the bed and crossed to where Fergus was standing. As she got closer, Fergus could makeout the tracks of tears on her cheeks.

They stared at each other in silence. When the silence started to drag on Fergus pushed farther. "You are still going to tell him. You can decide if it's before the celebration, but you will tell him."

Then he was gone. Lea watched as he slammed the door behind him. She crossed the room and locked the door to avoid anymore unwanted confrontations. Quietly, she turned and slid against the door until she was sitting on the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her couldn't have gone any worse.

It wasn't until two days later that Fergus addressed her again. Lea had been summoned to his office, there was no surprise when Alistair was there. Fergus was sitting behind his desk, reading over a few papers.

"You wanted to see me?"

Without looking up from his reading Fergus answered, "I did. Sit." Lea looked at the open chair. Alistair was in the seat right next to the one she was supposed to sit in. She still had yet to speak to him since the dinner. Her harsh words didn't stop him from staring at her in passing though. It certainly didn't stop him staring in that ignored his gaze as much as she could, and took her place in the seat next to him. It took a few moments for Fergus to finish, but when he did Lea wished he hadn't. "I believe it's time we all discuss plans for the country's future."

"What do you mean? I have nothing to do with that." She shifted nervously. The glances shifted between him and Alistair didn't go unnoticed. "What are you not telling me?"

Lea flinched when Alistair placed his hand on her knee. He noticed and lifted his hand away from her. "The high council, in Denerim, has created a list of women suitable for me to marry. You are at the top of their list. I have done everything I can but they are quite determined to place a Cousland on the throne next to me."

"They want you to marry me?" Lea looked between Fergus and Alistair. Neither would make eye contact with her.

"They... demand that you marry him, Lea." Fergus admitted quietly.

"No. They can't demand that. Who demands that two people be wed?" Lea knew she was speaking too quickly, knew that she was panicking, but that knowledge didn't stop her heart from beating faster than could've been healthy.

"Lea, it happens all the time. It's not at all uncommon." Fergus' words were no help.

Lea stood up, the back of her knees pushing her chair away, "no, I won't marry him. I can't." She turned away from her brother, heading towards the door.

Once she was out of the room, she ran. She had no idea where she was going, or when she would stop running, yet she didn't stop. She found herself on a balcony, breathless and with eyes that were full of unshed tears. Her feet had carried her to a corridor that hadn't been touched since Howe had attacked. It had been the same balcony that her mother had chosen when she was uncertain. Lea had only been there once before. Her parents had been fighting about sending Fergus off to battle for the first time. Somehow she had found her way into her mothers arms, begging her to keep her brother from leaving.

It was at the top of the hold, overlooking the city of Highever. Everything was visible from the balcony, but none could see her from below. No one could see the tears that leaked onto her cheeks, or see how she was drowning under the weight of her secret. But she had been taught to be stronger than whatever she faced.

She took a deep breath, letting lessons she had learned flush out her emotions. She sighed deeply, stepping back from the railing.

Lea left the balcony, and slowly made her way back to her chambers. The halls were empty, and the rain had started outside the windows, which was why she didn't see Alistair sitting in the corner of her bedroom.

"We need to talk."

Lea nearly fell over from how high she jumped. Her eyes landed on him and all she could do was stare. She wasn't ready to discuss any of it with him. She could barely stand sitting across from him at a table.

Alistair grabbed her arm before she could move away from him. "Please, just let me talk. That's all I ask," he practically begged.

"Why would ever want to listen to another lie you tell me?" She hated the way her voice started shaking, but she wasn't the same warrior that she was when she stabbed her sword through the Archdemon's head.

"I didn't come all the way here to lie to you more than I already have. Just sit down and let me explain."

She glared at him for a moment, but eventually sat down on the bench at the end of her bed. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she looked at a spot on the floor away from him.

Alistair pulled a stool from the desk opposite the bed and sat in front of Lea, "I never lied about how I felt about you, in fact I haven't stopped loving you." Lea scoffed at his words but didn't move her eyes. "The things I did weren't easy for me to do. I knew that you would be hurt, but it had to happen if I wanted anything good to happen to me in this life."

"Oh, so bedding her was a good thing?"

"The outcome of it made it worth it."

"Excuse me?" She finally looked at his face, hers was riddled with disgust.

"I meant with you. When she came to me with the idea she told me that you and I could get something out of it that wasn't just both of our lives."

"Really? Because I haven't seen one good thing happen to us since…" She trailed off and looked back at the ground.

"You've been changing. I know about it."

"You have no idea who I am anymore, just like I have no clue about who you are."

"I don't think that's true." Alistair argued. "I came to you after Morrigan," The look of hurt that crossed Lea's face didn't go unnoticed. "Because Morrigan explained that the magic she used would last at least through the night. That's why I came to you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, I know that you're pregnant. With my child."

Lea's breathing sped up and she scooted farther away from him, "I- you, how do you…" Her hand went to her still flat stomach in a protective manner. She didn't want to believe that he knew about the child. She couldn't let him hold that power over her.

"I did what I did because it would give us a future," Alistair whispered. He moved so he was next to her in the bench.

"How could you do that to me, without even telling me?" She sniffled at the end of her sentence.

"You wouldn't have agreed to it if you had known."

"So you let me go this whole time without even telling me that you knew!" She stood up and walked to the window.

"Lea, think about it. The one reason we wouldn't be able to get married was our inability to produce an heir. You're already pregnant and the court is already set on you being on the throne and I'm sure the rest of Fereldan would be overjoyed to have a Cousland on the throne."

"I don't want to be on the throne, and I don't want to marry you," she spat.

"You're just angry right now," he said softly.

"I'm quite a bit more than angry Alistair. Did you even stop to consider me when you and Morrigan were coming up with this plan?"

"Of course I did! I did it for you," he softened his tone when he saw tears in her eyes again.

"No, Alistair, you did it for you. It was selfish. You did it to keep me around, because you thought it would be best for you."

"Yes I did, because without you I have no idea how to live. You can ask any noble that has had to interact with me since you left. I found a reason to keep going when I met you, so how did you expect me to rule a country with you dead?"

"I don't want to rule! I don't want to be what you want me to be." She whispered.

"You don't have a choice." Alistair stood.

"Of course I do."

"No you don't. I've already sent word to Eamon about your state. He agree's that you're only option is to be named queen." He took a step towards her. "He said that we could simply play the whole thing as though we were married during the Blight. The peope will be told that you wished to let me settle into ruling while you helped your brother rebuild Highever."

"You ruin my life, then take away any chance of freedom I ever had? I had it wrong all along, you are just like your father and brother."

"You know as well as I do that that's a lie."

"No, I only know what I see, and all I see is a fantastic example of the original Therin blood."

"What you're saying changes nothing. Fergus has already been informed, and we will leave the morning after the festival."

Lea turned with to face him. There were tear stains across her cheeks, but she didn't waver when she spoke. "If you think that I still love you, then you need to open your eyes."

"We can work—"

"Get out."

"Lea—"

"You've caused enough damage for one night, don't you think?"

"Alright." He ran his fingers through his hair and left the room.