Matt
Miheal tries desperately to comfort me, despite the fact I've told him im fine. Besides, I know it's difficult for him, given his personality being so boisterous, to be serious or sympathetic. But he really is trying. And I can't be annoyed at him for it.
At first I was distraught. I couldn't eat, or sleep. Every thought was filled of A. I strained to try and remember a time when A was alright. But all I can see is his body under a white sheet. His hand hanging off the stretcher as Miheal holds me back. I try to stop them from taking him, but they only look at me sympathetically, and walk away.
Now though, the pain is starting to fade. I realise that in the end, it was always going to come to this. And A didn't want me to feel this way. So no way would I insult his wishes by grieving for a life that had really been absent for years. So now, as I sit side by side with Miheal, my mind is clear.
We play some two player fighting game. Which of course I beat him at every time. After his fifth defeat, he throws the controller in frustration.
"You've been playing since you first worked out you had hands! You're advantaged!" He yells, irritated. I laugh at him as he finishes his outburst.
"It's just a game Mells. Maybe we should take a break." I suggest, smiling.
Miheal shakes his head dramatically.
"Not a chance. We're playing until I beat you!" I grin and roll my eyes, muttering to myself: "We're gonna be here for some time."
I was right. After hours of playing, and me eventually letting Miheal win, we switch off the console and go to our rooms to study for the oncoming test. On my way to my room, I come across B standing by a window talking to Kara quietly. The moonlight reflects off his raven hair, glinting from his eyes and giving off a distinctively sinister aura. He turns slightly when he hears me, staring at me tiredly for a second, before returning his gaze to the window. As I walk on past wordlessly, I feel a hand grasp my wrist gently. I turn back, meeting B's eyes, which have softened considerably in the last few seconds.
"How are you Matt? I haven't spoken to you since…You know..." He stutters awkwardly. I smile sadly.
"Apparently better than you. You look exhausted." I chuckle lightly. B's mouth curves up in a slight, weary smile. He releases my wrist. And leans against the wall.
"Yeah, I suppose so…I dunno, I think the eyeliner look suits me. What do you think?" He jokes. I smile weakly. Noticing that he does indeed have bags to rival L's under his eyes.
"I should probably try to sleep anyway. So should you Matt, you have a test soon right?" I nod gently. He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He ruffles my hair as he walks past. "Night Matt." He yawns, pulling the hood of his jacket up over his head and stalking down the hallway with his hands in his pockets. As he disappears around the corner I swear I can hear him laughing manically under his breath. This is confirmed when Kara turns around and looks at me sadly, shaking her head and mouthing: "He's lost it." Before she too, disappears, leaving me standing there dumbly trying to figure out what just happened.
Watari starts to notice B's strange behaviour about two weeks after me. More precisely, he notices that B starts showing signs previously found in A. Staring off into space for long periods of time, sudden laughter, absent from meals more and more often. But perhaps the most noticeable are the injuries that unlike A, he doesn't bother hiding. New stitches on his wrists, hands and arms are visible every time he leaves his room. But the preciseness of them, and the fact they've been stitched shows that he's clearly not attempting suicide. The only other reason is because he enjoys it. Many kids bore witness to a confrontation between Watari and B, in which Watari had planned to question B, and searched his room. Removing dozens of knives, razors and pins, only for B to stand in front of the old man, smile, and bite down so hard on his hand that it too, needed stitches.
It becomes clear very quickly that B has been so badly affected by Alejandro's suicide, that it's made him crazy. But Watari refuses to send him away, confident he will recover and be fine.
Many councillor's later, the frightening behaviour calms down, and B is allowed to go back to his normal living conditions. However, he won't talk to anyone but Kara, whom no one else can see, so everyone else still thinks he's crazy.
I stand in A's room, looking around at the space that was occupied by my brother. How much sorrow do these walls hold? Nothing in the room has been changed, except of course the blood in the carpet and the noose are gone. The rest is exactly how it was. I walk over to A's bedside table, where a photo of our parents and us sits. In the photo, A stands in front of father, very young, smiling widely. My mother holds me, a new-born baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Standing beside A is B. There arms over each other's shoulders. I frown, turning away from the picture. Why do I keep coming in here? It only stirs up bad memories. Let it go matt. I think to myself harshly, turning away and walking out into the hallway. Shuffling through the halls I find Near sitting in a corner somewhat limply. His shoulders shake slightly. He's cupping his hands over his face, his head hanging slightly. As I move closer, I see a drop of blood fall from his hand onto his white, oversized shirt. Alarmed, I run over to him and crouch beside him.
"What happened Near? Was it B?" I ask worriedly. I sigh with relief when he shakes his head.
"No, it was Mello…" He chokes, his voice muffled by his hands.
"Which Mello?"
"Mello, not Miheal…Not this time..." he mutters. I gather at this point that it's a nosebleed. So without further questions for now, I get him tissues to stop the blood pouring into his hands.
"Thanks…" he mumbles gratefully, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"So what happened?" I ask, when the worst of the bleed is over. The two of us walk to the bathroom. He replies as he splashes water on his face, rinsing away pinkish trails of blood.
"He took over. He was irritated that I held him back for so long, so he slammed my head into the wall…over, and over…" He stops and flinches, bringing a hand to his forehead.
"Ugh… My head hurts so bad..." he groans. He turns to me and smiles, shaking his head lightly. His dove white hair falls and plasters to his wet cheeks.
"Oh well. I've had worse. Matt? Are you okay?" I hadn't realised I was staring. I snap my eyes away.
"Im fine, just zoned out a bit." I answer. Near smiles and nods, walking out of the bathroom a lot cheerier than when he walked in.
This kid recovers quickly. I think to myself as I follow him. We walk together until Near spots Coby, thanks me for the help, and run off to talk to him. My eyes trail after him, lingering against my will until Miheal charges towards me boisterously knocking me over and laughing. For years to come I wouldn't understand the feelings that made me do that. At that moment, I didn't know just how meaningful my lingering eyes really were.
Kara
I look down at the boy wearily. As much as I care for him, it's safe to say A's death wound a screw loose in his head. Or many screws. I watch him now as he lies on his back on the floor. We're in the kitchen, so anxiety floods me that anyone could be listening to B's ramblings right now. I check around the doorways as he continues to mumble.
"Right here. Hehe…Here Kara…" He laughs. I flick my eyes to him cautiously daring to ask what he means.
"What are you rambling about now?" I manage to keep my deadpan and sound disinterested, for showing any sign that he's bothering me would probably make him worse.
"Ha-ha!" He flips over so he's practically hugging the floor. "A body Kara! With a heart beating fleetingly, the life draining away! Right here..." he lowers his voice, chuckling eerily. I roll my eyes.
"There will be a body there in a minute if you don't knock it off Beyond." He props himself up on his elbows, tilting his head and pouting at me.
"Aww Kara. That's mean! Threatening little old me like that." He tries to hold back his smile, failing miserably. He pushes himself up further so he's sitting cross-legged. He laughs again.
"Oh well! I don't really care! Kill me if you want." Standing up, he goes to leave the room, stopping when he passes a window. I watch his eyes flicker over Elsie, walking hand in hand with L with her other arm slung over Coby's shoulder. She laughs brightly. For a second, I think I see a bit of the old B come back in the form of a sad expression, but as soon as I see it, it's gone. He leaves the room without another word. I however, don't follow him. A cold chill washes over me as I get a bad feeling. A kind of foreboding. Glancing once more at the doorway B left through, I go in the opposite direction, through a wall. I glide over the heads of dozens of children until I find the ones im looking for. Matt and Miheal are sitting beneath a tree to get shelter from the sun. Matt plays on his Psp as always whilst Miheal appears to be studying from a science book. I know then what the bad feeling that compelled me to find them was about. It seems B's ramblings weren't as empty as I thought…
B
Time doesn't seem to exist in the weeks following A's death. Many things I do, I can't remember. But I've been told they're pretty bad. By Watari mostly. I am half aware that my mind isn't just mine anymore. I failed. I let BB take over.
Today has been one of my better days, surprisingly. Considering today, I've added twelve stitches to my skin, threatened someone with death, and played dead on my bedroom floor for three hours. Now, my mind is clearer as the drowsiness forces BB to back off a little. I look at my thin reflection in the mirror and smile sadly.
"I look almost as skeletal as you, Kara…" I frown, sitting by my bed and taking my throwing knives that I managed to hide from Watari, and flicking them into the target on the back of my door with pinpoint accuracy. I sigh deeply when each knife has stuck to the door in a vertical line.
With nothing else to do, I crawl into bed and try to sleep. But as usual, that's easier said than done. I face the door at first. My body curls into the fetal position and flinches involuntarily as I hear a loud bang. In this moment I forget that it's just an auditory hallucination, the panic starts to settle in. I feel my breathing speed up, my lips quivering as I see something dark move at the edge of my vision. I turn to see what it is, but there's nothing. Get yourself together idiot. There's nothing there. I force my eyes to close and curse myself. Honestly, I thought that the night terrors would stop as I got older. Apparently not. I think to myself as I start to drift away, a memory seeping to the front of my mind.
Rain poured heavily outside my window. The wind sending horrific howling sounds through the vents of the house. I wake up screaming for my mother. She comes rushing in with a worried face, instantly clasping my small shaking form in her arms.
"It was just a nightmare…It's alright…"She soothes gently. I shake my head profusely.
"No…it's not just a nightmare! It was real! He was dead!" I mumble in a barely audible whisper. She looks at me concerned, also glancing at Kara. She smiles sadly.
"It's okay B. It was just a dream. Try to go to sleep okay? I'll stay with you until you're asleep." I nod weakly, laying back down and looking into my mother's eyes as she smooths my hair and starts to sing to me in her sweet, calming voice. It lulls me into sleep with a small smile on my face as the dread falls away.
I frown into my pillow as I fall asleep, with the weight of my mind pressing harshly on the corners of my consciousness….
The next day I hear furious yelling in the hallway as I stalk around the orphanage absently.
"Damn sheep! You crazy fuck! No one fucking wants you here! Even your brother's had enough of you!" The yell is followed by Matt's strained voice.
"Miheal! Stop please!" That is answered with another voice, deep and menacing.
"You're in for it now you stupid fuck!" I turn the corner in time to see Near clench a fist and jam it into Miheals neck. Blood streams from both boys faces. From nose bleeds to cuts on their eyebrows. Miheal goes to retaliate, but Matt grabs Near from behind first, yanking him away and pinning his arms tightly to his sides. The small redheaded boy uses all his strength to pull the slightly smaller boy away from Miheal, who's knees buckle, landing him on the floor. Near breathes heavily, clenching his fists. Eventually he stops struggling, also collapsing slightly. Matt gently lowers him to the floor, tired from the effort. He looks up at me briefly, before turning to face the small circle of curious children that have now surrounded them. His eyes find a girl with reddish hair and freckles, calling her over.
I hear him mutter to her under his breath.
"Linda, can you go get Elsie please? I'll get Coby." The girl glances at the two boys slumped on the floor and bleeding, before nodding,
"Sure Matt." And running away. Matt goes in the opposite direction. An idea jumps into my head as I turn and walk away from the crowd, just as I hear both Coby and Elsie's concerned voices from where I just walked away from. I voice my thoughts out loud to Kara.
"Say Kara, if either of those kids were killed, it would be pretty easy to frame the other…" I laugh at her concerned expression, stalking away to my room.