Kara
"Kara?"
"Yes child? What is it?"
"He'll be here soon, won't he?"
"Indeed. As will I."
I open my eyes and awake from my daydream. The quiet is suffocating almost as I stare at B. I feel guilty as I see the tears running down his face. His arms are bound again in the jacket. I refused to kill him. How could I do it? He tried to puncture his wrists with his teeth to kill himself, and tried to bite his tongue, but now he's left with the restraints and a twisted rag in his mouth stopping him from trying again. This is how he'll die?
I take a moment to think, watching B intently. He'll die in the next few days. It'll be torture to wait. I could just kill him.
I realise as I think that im keeping him alive for selfish reasons.
I don't want to be alone…
B
Kara gains my attention, kneeling opposite me and removing the gag from my mouth. I stare at her in confusion.
"K... Kara..." I stutter weakly. "They'll see that! They'll know somethings going on..." My head thuds dully from my excessive crying. Kara smiles sadly and shakes her head. She puts a gentle hand on my face and lifts my head so our eyes meet. She wipes away my tears with a thumb.
"It doesn't matter Beyond. Not anymore." I look at her, further confused. She removes her hand from my head and takes my hands in hers.
"Do you remember what I promised you? I promised that I would always look after you. No matter what." She pauses, that look in her eyes again. I realise what it is about her eyes that is so interesting.
They're almost…Human.
She struggles for the words.
"I can't let you sit here waiting for death. And I can't stop Kira from killing you…"
She doesn't continue, but we both know what she was going to say. I smile softly.
"Thank you, Kara. For everything." I feel my eyes tear up again as Kara looks at me sadly. Her eyes, for the first time in all the years I've known her, start streaming with tears. I watch them fall onto the floor and smile.
"I didn't know Shinigami could cry." I laugh slightly. She smiles too.
"Neither did I."
She frowns again.
"I can't drag this out much longer. I can't take it.." I nod my head to her words.
"I've lived long enough. And it hasn't meant anything. Not since A died. Im not scared Kara." Kara sits opposite me and doesn't say anything. I lied. Im terrified. But I don't let it show apart from the tears. Kara takes out a small black notebook, and with a shaking hand, scribbles the letters onto the page.
Beyond Birthday.
She throws the book aside. I let her gently lower me so that im laying in her arms like a small child. I silently count in my head.
30 seconds.
"Who would've thought it? After everything you've done, you die in the arms of a Shinigami? Maybe the only Shinigami who has ever cried? The worst Shinigami in history." BB lurks in the back of my mind for the first time in years. Typical.
20 seconds.
I stare up at Kara and smile still.
"I love you Kara."
10 seconds.
"I love you too Beyond."
5 seconds.
My eyes close. Pain flares through my heart as if a heated blade has been twisted into it. I open my eyes in time to see Kara's blurred face, no longer skeletal. I can't make out her face exactly.
The thudding of my head slows.
The past fades away.
My breath ebbs away, and everything goes dark.
My last thought, "Im sorry for everything. I don't want to die…"
Kara
His eyes remain open even after the breath has left him. I watch as they slowly cloud over. The beautiful crimson in his eyes fades a little as they become like a photo of a storm. As the last of the colour disappears both of his eyes release it in the form of a bloody tear, streaking his pale skin like war-paint.
I cradle him even when I can't see the numbers. I can't see his unique name that I loved so dearly. The silence in the room looms darkly. I remove his straight jacket. I cry so much that if I had need for oxygen, I surely would be dead. I scream angrily, clutching him tightly, drawing blood from his now bare, limp arms, old scars painting every inch of him.
It takes a long time to come to my senses and I find myself shaking uncontrollably almost.
The guards have probably fallen asleep or something would have been done by now. The effort it takes to let him go, to lay his head on the padded floor and close his eyes, is crippling. I stand and stare down at him.
He looks more peaceful now than he ever did in life. And though I know it's for the best, I must force myself to look away from him. I pick up the death note, spread out my wings and glide through the roof till im in the open air. The glowing sun is just rising in the horizon. I take a moment to watch it, before turning and flying away from the asylum. I must go back to the Shinigami realm I suppose, but there's somewhere I must go first.
The journey is long, but I only stop once to throw Beyond's death note in a fire. This way, Matt won't be plagued with memories of the death note, or me. I don't want him to ever fear such things.
I continue flying until Im back in England. I glide around Wammys where I spent so much time. I smile. Not even B knew just how much.
I stand in A's old room. After all these years, it's still not in use. I traipse round the room, looking at everything. I lay on the floor and look under the bed, where just like I thought, there is still a carving on the wall.
I never told B about my past. He never knew anything about me, or who I am. I suppose now I can never tell him.
I frown and walk out of the room. As I leave the orphanage and glide up the road I see two familiar figures walking together, hand in hand.
Nate rivers and Mail Jeevas. I smile, watching them.
Eventually, I return to the Shinigami realm. But even then, I spend my time watching Near and Matt.
Not long after B's death, I sit observing Near and Matt as they walk home late one night. It's now that a man jumps them from behind a building. He has a gun. With panic I realise that their lifespans are due to come to an end tonight. The man grabs Near by the throat, suffocating him as Matt desperately tries to help, ending up with the gun pointed at his head. Without thinking, I write down the name of the assailant in my death note. He shoots himself, leaving Matt and Near to run away in terror. A strange sensation takes over me, as if im crumbling away. And suddenly, I see a strange light…
Location unknown-Beyond Birthday
My head thuds lightly. The scene around me is nothing but a blurred light as I flick my eyes open. I feel heavy, like something is weighing me down as I lift my back off the floor. As I look around I grow more confused.
I drag myself to my feet and start walking around the room. As my eyes begin to focus more, I notice a wall in front of me with a doorway. I see that the light from before is coming from beyond that entryway, and painted in neat, gothic lettering above it is a message.
I read aloud to conquer the suffocating silence.
"Leave your fear in this room. You're safe now, Brother. What does that mean?" I shrug it off and step through the doorway, covering my eyes to shield them from the blinding light.
When I open them again, Im met by a beautiful sight. Im so shocked it becomes even more difficult to move.
There is a forest. Auburn sunlight streams through the trees creating lines of light. The sound of birdsong and running water from a steam running through it make me feel instantly calm. But none of this is what has me so stupefied. Kneeling by the stream is a girl with black hair trailing gracefully down her front on both sides. A red flower crown, roses, is on her head elegantly, standing out against the black and the white of her floor length dress. What also stands out is the white, angel like wings on her back, which are resting on the floor. When she hears me treading over the fallen leaves, she looks up gently with a soft smile gracing her lips. Her eyes, a slight rose colour amongst the russet brown is just like I remember when they meet mine. Her name tumbles from my lips, and my eyes force tears to stream over my pale cheeks as she stands up straight, and we run towards each other.
"Alodia?"
"B!" She replies excitedly as she throws herself into my arms. We both collapse on the ground on our knees in a tight embrace. I cry deeply into her shoulder, shaking so much I fear I may let go. She holds me tightly around the waist.
"Im sorry Lo…I should have protected you better…im so.. sorry..i missed you so much.." I choke. She chuckles lightly and pulls away, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear and swiping a tear away with her dainty thumb. I notice that she looks a little older as she does so. Im so worried that she will be upset, or angry with me. But I see the look of happiness in her eyes that tells me otherwise.
Still chuckling, she rests her hands on my face, staring into my eyes.
"Dummy. You couldn't have saved me. You did what you could. Besides," She smiles, "I never left you. I was always watching. Sometimes I was scared for you. Sometimes I felt like I was going to cry. But Im much better now that you're here." I laugh gently, unsure what to do. I settle for hugging her close again.
"Where are we?" I ask after a while. Alodia lets go of me, standing up with a flutter of her wings and pulling me up.
"Somewhere better." She answers simply, pulling me to my feet. She starts walking, but glances back to me briefly to check im following.
"You got red? That's cool…Its like jam…" She mutters, stepping away. Confused, I look behind me to see what she means, only to find that what was weighing me down is a set of red wings. They remind me of kara's I think sadly before hurrying after Alodia.
"So where are we going?" I ask after a little while of walking. Alodia looks at me. Concern filling her face suddenly as we stop walking.
"Im a guide, B. You will be too because we were born with the Shinigami eyes. It means that when people die, it is our job to lead them through their past and into the afterlife, basically. Everyone must walk through their past when they die. It's your turn." She opens a door that seemingly appear from nowhere.
"See you on the other side brother." She frowns, as I step through the door…
The experience seems to take forever. Its torturous to re watch every death I ever caused or saw. See the beatings my father dished out, and a multitude of other bad memories. By the end, my last memory, of Kara clutching me as I die, leaves me sobbing so much my chest aches. It's all so painful I feel like im dying again.
When its over I look around to find myself in a meadow.
Black and red flowers appear under my feet every set I take, joining the peculiar colours of the other flowers in the meadow.
There are orange, white and reddish brown flowers in the meadow. Alodia walks beside me once again, holding my hand happily, dragging me further into the meadow. She insists there is something I'll want to see.
After what seems like a long time of walking, we arrive at another section of the woodland, just by the meadow. There are five trees in a circle with a clearing in the middle. Within the circle, and growing up the trees, are the strange flowers again. Alodia lets of my hand and gestures for me to walk into the circle of trees. Puzzled, I follow her order. As I do, I hear voices talking to each other somewhere above me.
"Is that who I think it is! Guys look!"
"Calm down mate."
"Sorry."
"What if he punches me?"
"Shut up."
"Sorry."
Now literally frozen in place with shock. I start putting faces to the voices, and look up at the trees.
One tree has golden orange flowers winding around the truck and a thick branch. A girl with strawberry blonde hair has her legs wrapped around the branch and is hanging upside down from it. She laughs.
"B! Its you! Yayyyyy!" The face, the voice. A name. Elsie Keehl. Next to her sits her brother, Miheal, who looks a little concerned, but smiles anyway.
Another tree has white flowers trailing up its branch, and a slim boy with hair to match them straddling a branch and swinging his legs.
"Hey again Birthday. Don't worry. I don't hold grudges so I think I'll let the whole murdering me thing go. Good to see you again." Coby rivers laughs, before falling from the tree in typical Coby fashion, and sitting on the ground laughing even harder. I laugh a little too, walking over to him and offering a hand. He smiles as I pull him to his feet.
"Im still sorry Coby. I went mad." Coby puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles.
"We're all a little mad."
We both look up into another tree, with the dark red flowers twisting up it. I start to cry again as I see who is making his way down the tree to meet me. He drops onto the ground with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and walks nervously towards me. Without saying anything, he removes his hands from his pockets, and grabs me into a tight, restraining hug. I don't mind. Not even slightly.
"The day you died was the worst day of my life. It drove me off the deep end, A." I cry again into A's shoulder. I feel him tighten his grip and bury his face into my shoulder.
"Im sorry B. I had my reasons, but watching you from this world sometimes, made me hurt more than I ever did in life. I love you Brother. I missed you so much." A cries too. Elsie and Miheal come down from the trees and stand side by side holding hands. Elsie weeps too, earning a tender hug from Miheal.
"There's no point in any of you apologising, may I point out. We're all still dead." Coby pipes up from the tree he is leaving against. When I glance at him, I realise the idiot has a leaf tangled in his hair. When he notices it he mumbles "For fucks sake, not again." earning a laugh from Elsie. Everyone laughs gently.
After a long time of clasping me tightly, A lets go. He proceeds to stare deeply into my eyes with a smile for a moment before welling up with tears again and hugging me.
"As sensitive as ever." I laugh, returning the embrace and smiling at Elsie and Miheal. Coby is still trying to untangle various leaves from his hair…
I spend every moment with A and Alodia for the next few weeks, though the time passes both quickly and slowly at the same time. I find myself starting to heal from the abysmal life I lead. Almost at peace. Just one thing was missing. Someone I have realised how difficult it is to be without.
As I recall the entirety of my life, I realise that the only one I ever loved completely, the only one who didn't leave me and who cared for me without hesitation despite everything I did. I really knew very little about.
The days drag on as I realise what im missing. I had thought that it was Elsie I loved. And to an extent I did. But I see now that it was just a connection I had because I had saved her. The missing piece of the puzzle that is my heart, is not here with me.
One night, as I sit in the ring of trees, alone for once with my thoughts. One of the trees starts glowing. Jumbled thoughts flooding my mind as from the ground, flowers begin growing from nowhere, and winding up the tree. The flowers are a silver colour, like Christmas lights. The moonlight reflects from them mysteriously, like the glint in a child's eyes when they're happy. I hear footsteps behind me. Very gentle, soft humming accompanies them. I identify the song as "you are my sunshine." I smile. My mother used to sing me that song. I turn to face the sound.
The most uniquely beautiful girl I have ever seen stands there in a white dress with a trail behind it. Everywhere she walks, the silver flowers appear. Her wings are obsidian black, held up expertly, not dragging along the floor like inexperienced angels or demons. Her Silvery hair holds a shimmer of blue at some angles, yet it looks like it natural colouring. It trails down to her waist, moving gently with the breeze. Her cheeks are lightly pink, like her lips, and her eyelashes are naturally full and almost flutter against her cheek as she blinks. Her eyes hold me the most. They are red, like mine. Yet human. They are familiar. Very familiar. The girl looks to be about my age. She smiles brightly, fluttering her wings slightly.
Her eyes…I know her…
I gasp when I realise.
Just before I died, when I saw a face that wasn't Kara. Not a Shinigami. But the eyes were the same…
The girl runs at me without warning, hugging me so tightly that I jump a little.
"Beyond! Its you!" She cries happily. Her voice is as beautiful as her face, and though its different, I recognise the way she says my name.
"You know who I am? Don't you?" She smiles, worried slightly by the look of it. I smirk, taking her face in my hands.
"Kara. You're Kara." I cry happily. She nods quickly, hugging me again.
"You're human?" I exclaim suddenly. She laughs.
"Yeah. It's a long story. The short of it is, I am Kara Wammy. Watari was my father." I look at her in shock. She nods a little.
"Yep. I know. I grew up at the orphanage before it was an orphanage. In fact, I used to sleep in the room that A later died in. My father took in another child too. A boy. His name was Ryuk, and we never got along well. But he was a family friend, so when his parents died, Dad took him in.
Two death notes were dropped at the same time. Ryuk got one, and I got the other. We were stupid, careless kids. We killed people we didn't like, and eventually the police caught up with us because we were at some of the crime scenes when the deaths happened. DNA was everywhere. Ryuk and I ran away. One day the police found where we were hiding, and in a shootout, I took a bullet to save Ryuk. My Shinigami, Kenelm, killed me first, as per the agreement of the death note, and Ryuk died a few years later of suicide when the police finally found him. Because we used the death notes, we were forced to be Shinigami when we died. But I hated myself for all the murder. I gave my death note to your mother because I was bored, and you know the rest from there."
I consider this for a moment, unsure of what to say.
"Your Shinigami was Kenelm? The one that wrote Alodia into the death note?" She nods solemnly.
"Why are you here now then?" I ask curiously. Kara smiles.
"I was a useless Shinigami. I saved Matt and Near from a mugger, and died thus. So I was sent here as technically, I redeemed myself for all the crimes I committed. I chose what age to freeze myself at. Neither of us will ever be older than 24 years old." She smiles.
Then I feel whole again. I know that this is the girl I truly love. Like hell will I ever let her go again.
I move so that im nose to nose with her and smile. She returns the gesture.
"I love you Kara. Thank you for always protecting me. Now its time for me to return the favour."
We press our smiling lips together, grasp each others hands, and use our wings to walk on air together, through the winding trees…
I realised from a young age that I wasn't the same as other children. Not just because of the odd name and the odd habit of talking to myself. It's not even because of the unusual crimson irises in my eyes that lead some people to believe that I am the anti-Christ.
It's more to do with the fact that I knew a person's name just by looking at their face. Not to mention, I also knew exactly when they were going to die. The fact I fell in love with a Shinigami and murdered everyone, only to become friends with them in the afterlife are strange.
My life was a train wreck.
But now, as I look into Kara's eyes, I wouldn't change it for all the jam in the world…
The End.