A/N: Just a disclaimer, I own nothing …

Do his eyes deceive him? Was he really seeing what he thought he may be seeing?

Armin hurried over to the tree and squat down. His breath was coming out in tiny white puffs. What lay before him, at the base of the tree was a tiny snowdrop, poking its head out from the glistening snow.

Not daring to believe it, Armin reached out and touched a petal with a tiny finger. He broke into a large smile. It is a tiny snowdrop flower! Marvelling at it, he suddenly caught sight of another snowdrop, and another, and yet another!

He gently plucked the snowdrop from the ground and straightened up. He held it to the sun. It was beautiful.

Marvelling at the blooming snowdrops, Armin pocketed the one in his hand and almost skipped back to Headquarters. What a wonderful way to end his early morning walk around the grounds! Not only was the sun out and shining, the temperature was just right for a walk; it was cooling, and neither too hot or frosty. And to top it off, the snowdrops were just starting to bloom.

Armin got back to his dorm and was suddenly struck with inspiration. He took out the jar of cookies he had baked last night and held the snowdrop to it. It would look so pretty if he placed the flower atop of the cookies to garnish it. The only problem was, doing so now may result in the snowdrop wilting by Christmas. Armin decided to pick a fresh one on Christmas morning to prevent that from happening.

Then, there was a loud bang as Eren burst through the door.

"Eren?"

"Armin!" Eren said, going over to his friend. He seemed disconcerted. "Armin, Mikasa and I were looking for you!"

"Do you guys need something?"

Eren frowned. "Well, we wanted to talk to you for a bit, you've kinda been on your own - hey," he pointed to the cookie jar and snowdrop Armin was still holding. "What's that?"

Armin shrinked back, putting the cookie jar and snowdrop behind him. "That's .. that's my Secret Santa present. Please respect my -"

"Is that for Jean?"

"W-what?" Armin tried his best to be nonchalant.

Right at that moment, a few soldiers walked in, chatting happily with each other. Eren glanced at them and back at Armin.

"Come with me," he grabbed Armin by the wrist and pulled him from the bed.

"Wait!"

Armin was dragged through the corridor. What did Eren want from him? Why was he being so strange? He quickly covered his mouth, realising he had just echoed his thoughts.

"Strange?" Eren finally let go. "You're the one being strange!"

Looking around, Armin saw that they were in a long corridor at the back of the castle. It was barely ever used seeing that it was so out of the way. Eren's voice echoed around him. The corridor was completely empty and they were entirely alone.

"H-how so …?" Armin brought his hands to his elbows.

Eren now looked genuinely concerned, which in turn worried Armin. "You've just been … disappearing from us these days. Mikasa and I keep seeing you around Jean."

Jean? Why were they bringing him up? "Umm …"

"We both wanted to discuss that with you. But I thought, why not have a man-to-man talk? You and me."

Armin shifted from one foot to another. "Sure?"

"Firstly, what's up with you and Jean? You two have been … really close these days."

Armin knitted his brows together. "Define 'close'."

Eren raised an eyebrow. "Uhh … how about getting stuck together in a closet?"

"That was an accident."

"Jean carrying you."

"I had to reach the top of that tree."

"Ice-skating together?"

"He was having fun and wanted to skate a little more. Nothing wrong with that, right?" Armin said a little irritably. Was Eren trying insinuate something?

Eren crossed his arms. "I doubt those reasons."

"What? You think he has some ulterior motive?"

His best friend sighed. "Yes, unfortunately."

"Let's hear it."

"He could be trying to manipulate you!" Eren said exasperatedly.

Armin was taken aback. Manipulate? He couldn't help it, he started to giggle as Eren looked even more frustrated and annoyed.

He hoped his best friend will forgive him later.

Jean was under a lot of pressure at the moment. As he made his way to the pantry, he couldn't help but think of multiple things that could have gone wrong.

He had pulled an all-nighter yesterday to make Armin's present. After mailing the letters to his family, Jean remembered he had left his mother's essential oils in the library and went back to get them. Upon arriving there, he recalled how his Mum and him made candles when they were younger and an idea came to mind.

Taking the essential oils with him and after finding some paraffin pellets and small empty jars from storage rooms, Jean headed down to the kitchen to make Armin's gift:

Scented candles. They were perfect! Especially since Armin loved reading in the library late into night. Jean was pleased with himself and his genius.

However, having not made candles for a while, the actual process was nerve-wrecking. He put in a few drops of rose-scented oil into the melting wax. Would this be enough?

Finally he poured the solution into the jars, wicks held up with two sticks on each jar. Slowly, meticulously, he transported everything to the pantry and left it at a corner. He sincerely hoped no one would disturb it as they set for the night. Paranoid, Jean threw a large bowl over the candles to cover them.

This morning, he almost tore the door from its hinges as he threw himself into the pantry. Jean made a beeline for the candles he had made last night.

One, two, three. He counted. All here!

Still tense and nervous, he lightly touched the surface of each candle. They were beautifully waxy and a little powdery. Jean finally let his breath go and his face returned back to a normal shade of colour.

He carried the candles out of the pantry. Then, he realised that now that it was morning, soldiers would be awake. And seeing that Jean didn't have a bag to hide the candles, he felt a little shy going out like this. What if he ran into Armin?

He thought hard for a bit. Was there a way he could get back to his dorm to minimise the amount of people spotting him? Oh! There was that back corridor that nobody uses!

Jean felt absolutely fantastic. Another genius idea! He headed out of the pantry, took a left and soon found himself approaching that back corridor.

However, before Jean could turn the corner that would lead him there, he heard two voices which stopped him in his tracks.

"Jean would never!" Armin's voice rang loudly.

"Shhh!" Someone was shushing him. Eren?

Armin's voice sounded impatient. "Jean being around me is -"

"Not so loud! It's getting late in the morning and we're near the pantry," Eren's voice had dropped to a low whisper.

Jean felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Should he be here? Wait, what was he thinking? Of course not! But hearing his name had made him curious. Now that they were whispering he couldn't really make out what they were saying. He debated if he should come closer. After a moment, Jean's legs carried him over. He prayed eavesdropping wasn't a sin.

"I don't think -"

"But what if?"

"Well … then yeah, it's … a little creepy," Armin admitted, and continued quickly, "but Eren seriously. It wouldn't work anyway - I … I don't like him."

Shocked, Jean accidentally dropped a candle. It seemed to fall in slow motion as it spiralled to the ground. Jean already knew what was going to happen …

The jar hit the ground. No, it didn't break into a million smithereens due to the wax inside but the sound … Oh god, the sound.

Hearing the echoes, Eren and Armin instantly shut up. Then, Jean heard footsteps and flinched.

Fortunately, those quick footsteps were moving away from him. He presumed they've decided to leave.

Well, that's fine. Jean bent down to pick up the candle. The jar was cracked on one side. He's heard enough.

Still he was shocked. Armin thought he was creepy? He didn't like him? Anger rose in him. How could he say that? The turmoil of emotions within him was making Jean sick. Not only was this turn of events completely unexpected, what Armin had said really hurt him …

And on some part, Jean didn't want to believe it was true either. Then, a wave of disappointment and despondency came over him. Maybe Armin was right. Perhaps he was being a little creepy. Thinking about it, Jean realised that he had been spending a lot of time around the boy … He never stopped to think his company could have been unwanted.

Jean felt like crushing all of these candle jars. Armin could have just told him straight instead of going behind his back and telling Eren about it …

Now, he just looked like a fool. Jean regretted ever thinking they might be good friends.

And yet … and yet, he couldn't bear to throw away the candles he had made. Hating himself for being so weak, Jean threw the jars into his trunk in the dorm and went on his bed.

Even though the weather had been nice in the morning, the rest of the day looked glum and absolutely depressing.

Armin was seething. How could Eren push him into a corner like this? "I just want you to know, that if and only if such a reason was behind Jean's actions, that his behaviour could be considered creepy."

"I know, Armin," Eren said a little tiredly. "But we have to consider all possibilities … and do you think someone is following us?"

The other boy was a little annoyed at the change of subject. "That was probably just an accident. I don't think anyone is tailing us."

"Okay, good." Then Eren stopped walking as he turned around to face Armin.

Now that they were in a regular corridor with people passing them, Armin felt a little awkward. "Yes, Eren?"

"Look, I have to go now because I'm training with Levi at noon."

"On Christmas break?"

"Yes," Eren looked wistful. "I wish I could hang out with you guys more. I know I'm missing half the time and … I'm sorry I couldn't be a better friend."

Armin blinked in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Eren put both hands on his shoulders. "I just want you to know that despite that, I'm still going to look out for you, as is Mikasa. We both just really care for your wellbeing. So take care, alright?"

Then, Eren left, disappearing into a crowd of people that was just coming by.

Armin sighed. It is true that Mikasa and him were getting to see Eren less and less but they both understood that wasn't his fault … He felt guilty for the times when he wished Eren and Mikasa were around. They were all trying their hardest and Armin shouldn't be selfish and ever think they were abandoning him …

But he guessed, it was also because he hardly saw them that he and Jean eventually became friends.

Speaking of which … Armin was still irritated at what Eren was insinuating. Jean manipulating him? Making a bet with others that he can make a guy fall in love with him? Even though that's a scenario Eren had come up with based on what Jean had done in the past with Mikasa, it was still absolutely ludicrous. Besides, hasn't Jean moved on? He seemed to be a changed person now.

Then again, how much did Armin know Jean? Deep in thought, the boy moved aimlessly through the corridor, sometimes bumping into people. Well, he can say for sure Eren's fears were unfounded. And he did mention there was no evidence of Jean doing that and this scenario was completely hypothetical. Armin too, would like to trust Jean. After all, he did like Jean - as a friend of course! He blushed slightly, wondering why he had to clarify that in his head.

Perhaps it was because he wasn't able to clarify he meant he didn't like Jean that way to Eren earlier? Armin bit his lip on that thought. For some reason, it wasn't sure if -

All of a sudden, a hand came down on Armin's shoulder. Blinking rapidly, he saw that it was Mikasa.

"Armin, you're not walking straight," she said kindly. "I hope you're fine?"

"I - I am …"

Mikasa gave him a hug which took him by surprise. "I'm so glad." Then, she pulled away. "Why don't we go get lunch together?"

Nodding in agreement, he followed her to the cafeteria. Perhaps he'll find Jean later, and talk to him. Perhaps that'll ease the knot in his stomach that had started to form …

Armin glanced through the list he had just made. He checked for any repeats or inconsistencies. Everything had to be thoroughly planned out.

Lunch with Mikasa turned out to be just what he needed to clear his head. Not only was he able to catch up with her and what she and Eren did yesterday, she also reminded him that Christmas was only 2 days away.

That meant that the Christmas party was also 2 days away.

Fortunately, a few days ago, after decorating for the party, Armin had approached Erwin asking for permission that the squad in charge of supplies for the following month to leave earlier in order to get enough food for the party. Erwin agreed to that and had later instructed the squad to leave on the 23rd.

That was today … and Armin hasn't told them what they needed to get.

Finishing lunch early, Armin rushed outside of the Headquarters to find the squad leaving for supplies. Usually, a team would leave right after lunch and Armin was relieved to see they were still there, attaching the wooden cargo carts to the horses.

"Oh Armin, thank goodness," a soldier greeted him. "We were about to leave and we still don't know what to get for the Christmas party."

Armin hung his head, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, you can tell us now."

Thinking on the spot, Armin recited various ingredients needed. If the soldiers could get back to Headquarters by the evening, they could already start preparing the food!

Excited, Armin thanked them and saw them off, wishing them a safe journey. Next, for the month February, it'll be their squad's turn to get supplies and he resolved to bring back something nice for each soldier of this squad for their help.

Then, he went off to the library so that he could come up with a list of what the soldiers can cook for food at the party based on the ingredients he just gave.

Just as he was done and checking through it, Mikasa entered the library alongside Eren.

"You're back!" Armin exclaimed.

"Yeah …" Eren said, he looked exhausted.

Mikasa sighed. "Levi's really pushing Eren hard … They're trying to develop a combat style that is effective in the snow."

"Oh my," Armin frowned. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Nope, just tired," Eren waved it off.

The two asked to see the list Armin had come up with and were delighted to find some of their favourite dishes.

"Seeing this already re-energises me!" Eren declared, patting Armin on the shoulder.

Mikasa laughed too. "Hey, why don't we go find Connie and Sasha? It seems they've brought some cards from home."

Armin wasn't really the sort to play cards, but seeing his friends' enthusiasm, he decided to come with as well. It wasn't like he had anything else on in the afternoon anyway. Although, he would like to talk to Jean. Perhaps he was playing cards too?

Loud laughter greeted them as they entered the cafeteria. From a table, Connie caught sight of them and waved them over. There were already nearly 10 people surrounding the table, all laughing and talking boisterously.

Armin scanned around. Jean wasn't one of them. He wasn't sure why but he felt a little disappointed. But, he tried to hide it as much as possible as Connie and Sasha sat them down and explained the rules of the game.

In the end, Armin was having fun. Everyone was great company and it felt awesome to hang out with Eren and Mikasa. However, as time passed and evening drew closer, Armin wished he had just one minute to find Jean and talk to him. Besides, he hasn't seen him around the whole day … was he ill?

He dared not ask either, lest it may lead to more interrogation by Eren.

Then, his attention was distracted by a soldier running into the cafeteria. "Armin?" he called.

Armin stood up, "I'm here!"

"Oh Armin," he said running over eagerly. "The supplies are here and the squad told me to tell you!"

"Brilliant!" Armin beamed and hurriedly explained to everyone at the table what was going on. Excited about the preparations for the upcoming party, the soldiers all decided to chip in and help. They followed Armin to greet the returning squad and helped unload the supplies to the kitchen and pantry.

"Thank you so much!" Armin said sincerely.

Now that the ingredients were here, the soldiers could start making their own dinner for tonight and food for the party that won't perish by Christmas. Armin suggested they start with making a dessert like gingerbread cookies.

Once again, he rolled up his sleeves and joined the soldiers in making the dough. He had Eren and Mikasa beside him and very soon, was enjoying himself, lost in the laughter and playing as soldiers flung flour at each other.

He almost remembered something, but diverted his attention back to dodging Eren's flour attack.

Perhaps he'll remember it tomorrow.

This was stupid. Jean thought. He was just being downright pathetic right now. Ever since the morning, he had stayed in his dorm the whole day, just contemplating.

While he hardly did so and this was a good opportunity to, the things he was contemplating weren't very happy.

Firstly, his friendship with Armin. Was that going to change now? Armin may not know Jean overheard his conversation with Eren so if he were to avoid him now, it might confuse him.

Then again, would he care? Armin had made it clear he didn't like Jean's company or friendship. Perhaps backing off would make him happier instead.

And every time he thought of that, Jean felt something crumble in him inside. Why was he feeling so pained?

I'm weak. Jean thought. I'm too emotional about this.

Another thing he had been contemplating was this feeling of self-denial that he had been having constantly for a while now. He didn't quite know what to do with it. He wasn't even sure if he knew what was causing it.

Finally, the last thing he had been contemplating was whether he should step outside and function like a normal human being. Though, he had easily suppressed this thought earlier and chose to nap for the entire afternoon instead. Now, however, Nature was calling after he awoke and Jean was considering stepping outside …

Aargh! Why am I so scared of going out? Geez!

Jean finally got up and walked to the bathroom to relieve himself. Then, as he was walking back, he saw a dorm-mate approach him.

"Jean, I was looking for you. I wanted to wake you but I didn't see you in bed and wondered where you've gone."

He yawned. "I went to the bathroom. Can I help you though?"

His dorm-mate looked incredibly excited about something. "Well, not me exactly but … most of the soldiers are actually in the kitchen now making gingerbread men! Wanna join?"

Jean contemplated a fourth thing for today. He hadn't had gingerbread cookies for a while … and it might get his mind off things a little …

Reading the expression on Jean's face, his dorm-mate grinned. "Let's go! The more people the better, Armin was saying."

"Armin?"

"Yeah, it's his Christmas party so he's there with us -"

Jean walked past him back to the dorm.

"Jean? Aren't you coming?"

"No, Issac," he said just before he entered. "I don't think I am anymore."

A/N: ... It was a sad chapter to write.