People call Hatake Kakashi a genius.
Geniuses succeed at everything they do.
He failed Obito. (The rocks continued to fall)
He failed Rin. (Sometimes he could still feel her blood on his hands.)
He failed Sensei. (He should've been there. It should've been him.)
As he watches the civilians of the village his mentor had died to save try to break the last bit of the fourth, he realizes that he has failed Naruto too.
Hatake Kakashi was a failure regardless of what people said.
He couldn't bring himself to look after Naruto (He couldn't even bring himself to look AT Naruto).
But ANBU Dog could.
ANBU Dog could watch over the boy and take care of those who mean to do him harm (An unfortunately large number). The boy would never be alone, even if he never knew it.
Naruto shifts nervously on the bench. People kept shooting him these awful glares as they pass by. That or they would ignore him, which was just as bad. That always hurt. He didn't know why they did that. Nobody would tell him and he didn't know how to make those glares stop.
He noticed that people never stared at Hokage jiji though.
He was all done with his reading lesson for the week. Jiji had told him a really cool story about how one of his team mates did something awesome to save the day. Then the lady that sometimes joined him for lessons, invited him over to her shop for tea.
He didn't like tea much 'cuz the stuff was expensive and didn't fill up his belly very much.
Maybe this was going to be one of those things that really mean people do. They give you something nice, then do something really mean and say its ok because of the nice thing they did.
He asked jiji if thats what the lady was planning but he said it wasn't.
The lady talks kinda bad and has to have a lot more lessons he does. So now he has to wait.
"Ah. Finished" Chirped the lady. "Were you waiting long?"
He shrugged then pointed at her very rudely. "Kinda. So who're you?"
"It's rude to point." She replied. But then she added. "I tell you my name if you say yours."
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm gonna be the Hokage one day." He shouts rather cheerfully. If he was hokage then everyone would have to look at him and be nice to him right?
He watches the lady with apprehension. People always went away from him once he told them his name. The kids at the playground never played with him once he told them his name.
"Why you want to be Hokage? It's too much paperwork." She replied. "Then again. Maybe you like paperwork. Anyway, I'm Oribanda Mina. Lets go and have tea."
"If I was Hokage people would be nice to me." He announces. Then he realizes something, she wasn't moving away from him. "Lets? Like you an' me?"
"Well I did ask you to come to my shop for tea." Shrugged Mina. "You don't really have to join me."
He quickly agreed. "Bu' why tea? Thats gross! Only old people drink that stuff! Why can't we get ramen instead? Ramen tastes much better. I know! We can go to Ichiraku's!"
Mina stopped and stared at him when he finished talking and he squirms inside again. Maybe he shouldn't have said that tea was gross. Maybe he should've said that he liked tea. What if she thought he was calling her old. Jiji said that ladies didn't like to be called old.
"Naruto. I do not think we are talking about the same thing? I was referring to tea time."
What? She must've seen the look on his face because she kept talking. "You know. Tea time. Sandwiches, cake, a light meal? With tea? And no ramen. I don't have enough money to buy any of it."
"Oh." He replies, feeling silly. "Well I guess tha's fine then."
The look on the boy's face reminded her of why she loved working in wizard shops.
The first time a child steps into a wizard shop their eyes always light up with wonder. Naruto was no different. "WHOA! THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!" Shouted Naruto as he watched the cleaning implements hurry about doing their duty. "How'd you get the brooms to sweep by itself? Can you teach me?"
"Well having magic helps a lot." She shrugs. "You're a bit too young for me to actually teach you anything right now."
Of course small children were also good at making her feel extremely guilty. His face crumpled immediately and he hung his head in disappointment.
"But if you help me prep for tea time. I could show you a few muggle magic tricks." She offered.
He heartily agreed and the two of them spent the next hour throwing together sandwiches and baking their own tea cakes.
She in turn taught him a number of fun sleight of hand magic tricks (This would eventually allow him to handle multiple kunai at the same time giving him the illusion that he had more then two hands.) and told him a few of the pranks her schoolmates the Marauders had played. (They turned an entire tower red? Awesome!)
He ended up staying past tea time.
Now she was under no illusions that his presence would cost her business. She really couldn't afford to do so. While she no longer had to worry about whether she would be able to afford food and other amenities, it wouldn't take much to put her back into that state between the strange tax hikes she'd been getting. (Apparently clans paid a tax and her magic qualified her as a clan.)
Witch or not, a homeless woman was pretty much asking to get raped.
So when Shisui shows up for the afternoon, she sends the two of them out back to harvest the dittany.
Mina watches the two boys get on like a house on fire before turning back to her shop. "So what brings you back Hatake-san?"
He had come into the shop once before, he cleared out her entire stock of dreamless sleep potions.
She was sure he would have done it again if she hadn't told him that it would make him prone to hallucinations if he did took too much in a short time. "Hatake please do not stand on the ceiling. I have no desire to pull my broom of the closet to clean dirt off of there."
"Please do not call me by my name when I am on duty." Came the reply.
She merely raised an eyebrow. "You saw me in a towel with soap in my hair. I think that gives me the right to address you by name. It's not exactly a crime to know the Identities of ANBU."
He choked audibly and croaked out "It is if you get kidnapped."
The attempted burglary was a year ago, why did he still get all tied up with it. "I can apparate. But thank you for the concern." Then she went about her business, studying and selling charms.
The man was good at hiding, she had to give him that. If it wasn't for her sign, she would've never known he was there at all. Honestly, why did he have hide in the corner, it's not like anyone cared if he was here or not. His porcelain mask also brought up some rather bad memories. (Red lights flashed, then pain. So much pain.) She shook the memories out f her head.
Well, if he wasn't going to leave maybe she could get some entertainment. (And maybe put some old night mares to rest.)
"So what was the book you dropped the other day? Shisui was complaining about never living it down."
Another uncomfortable noise from the corner. "A good piece of literature?" He stumbled. "Why are you asking?"
Oh this was going to be fun. Kind of like teasing the slytherin boys who had yet to come to terms with the existence of sexuality. Their stoic expressions always failed when they realized that their speech had been interrupted by a passing girl (Or boy. She didn't judge.) their attempts to recover from it were particularly funny.
Though she had to wonder what consisted of good literature in a world of mercenaries. Perhaps it was something like the muggle literature her friend had given her. Lolita and the Hannibal Lecter series were very interesting as well as tremendously disturbing.
She leaned toward him from across the counter. "I still have problems reading kanji. What's the book called?"
Another awkward response with a noticibly lower volume.
"That sounds like a cheesy romance novel or porn." she quipped "If that's the book you dropped on Shisui I can understand his reaction."
She could feel him staring at her.
"I looked through it actually." She shrugged "I didn't really understand a lot of the characters. But the fact that it has no pictures automatically makes it classier then wizard porn."
She mentally sniggered when the man actually lost his grip on the ceiling and crashed into a shelf of charmed shirt prints (The Uchiha's will occasionally commission their clan symbol and have the image charmed to burst into flame at random intervals.)
When he doesn't move, she leaves her spot a the counter to help him up.
"Wizards have porn?" He cheeps as the woman pats the (nonexistant) dust off of him. "I thought-"
"Yes wizards have porn. Quite a good deal of it actually." She snorts at the incredulous look he gives her. Honestly, why was that so surprising. If there is a medium, it will eventually have porn, be it music, pictures, or clothes. There was a private section in the hufflepuff library filled with things like this. "The society as a whole is rather prudish regarding the subject. Naturally the forbidden nature makes it more appealing which makes more porn produced. The more porn present, the more prudish society gets. It's a cycle really."
She eyed him as she repaired the shelf in an instant. Then she gestured for him to start folding the shirts he knocked over (If he was going to loiter he had better be productive. ANBU looked creepy and it was bad for buisness).
"I'd give you examples except it wasn't a priority for packing at the time." She shrugs, completely ignoring his reactions. Good god, This village was just as filled with prudes as London wasn't it.
"Do we have to talk about this?" Asked the man.
"Well yes we do. You aren't contributing anything but you're embarrassment. Otherwise you're masked face will bring back some very nasty memories." She replied in a clipped tone. "I look silly enough as is. What do you think would happen if I snapped and transfigured you into a dog?"
The dog man folded another shirt before carefully answering her query. "Aside from being arrested? Probably excecution. So don't do that."
"Of course." She agreed. "I did say if I snapped. Seeing as you are not, in fact, a dog obviously I haven't. Now do tell me why you are here. I have a sign that says no loitering and you are breaking that rule. Either buy something, talk, or start working."
The man sighed realizing that this was going nowhere and conceded defeat. He would rather not get dragged into a discussion about porn or what ever memories his mask triggered. He dutifully began sorting all of the candies and putting them into the correct bins.
He had known about the witch shop.
He could see the shop from his apartment.
In fact, he fell out of the window when he watched it build itself (An embarrassing but common reaction to the witch's antics.) in less than an hour. The colors of the roof and awnings seemed to cycle through various colors until it settled for that rich blue-purple color.
Then he got diverted on his way home by an ear splitting summons to the demented pungent smelling shop where he and the other ANBU were greeted to the funniest altercation they had ever seen.
A girl had been standing outside with he tip of her wand lighting the area shuffling about impatiently.
She wore only a towel in the November evening with her hair dripping. He couldn't really help but stare. While he was aware that the rumor mill wasn't always accurate, they definitely got the witch wrong. She was not a grandmother with a youthful face (She looked about his age actually.) She was not hideous (Understatement of the century.) She was also not unintelligent (scatterbrained yes, but in the long run, using a shouting letter had worked out for the best.)
As far as first impressions go, standing almost naked in the cold November breeze isn't how one typically greets ANBU.
With her wand waving she had beckoned him over and demanded that he arrest everyone for attempted robbery.
The Hyuuga twin heads were in the middle pf attempting to kill some Kumo ninja. Apparently they had kidnapped the heiress in the middle of her birthday celebration. The only thing stopping them was the witches spell.
It was a tag primed to explode. The only thing that stopped it from becoming an international issue was the murderous plants.
There was a first time for everything he supposed.
Whether it be a kidnapping mistaken for a robbery or violent plants, a naked woman (do not think about it like that.), and a shouting letter stopping it.
Perhaps being browbeaten into working as a sales associate was better than discussing various kinds of porn. Anything but the porn discussion (That stuff is private. Come to think of it, his identity should be private too. How did she even know he was here?)
She was no help.
Then standard ANBU genjutsu hadn't worked at all.
It was around closing time when the boys finished harvesting the dittany.
"Remember Naruto-chan. Never ever prank this store." Insisted Shisui.
"'Cuz things'll blow up if I do. And then Mina-nee would get upset." Nodded Naruto. "We're done cleaning picking leaves Mina-nee-chan"
Blinking at the odd addition to her name she replied. "Great. I just closed the shop for the day. Ha-" The ANBU turned to stare at her. "Ok. Ok. Fine. You're stalker is here so you won't get into too much trouble if you go back to the orphanage late. Want to stay for dinner? Invitation includes the rest of you too."
Shisui regretfully had to decline and report back home.
Naruto on the other hand looked at her like she was a gift from the gods herself and tackle-hugged her to the ground.
AN:/
Yes, the victorian era was loaded with all sorts of porn.
I'm also of the opinion that Kakashi got a crash course in everything ninja and passed with flying colors. I'm also of the opinion that he has no social skills and with most of his friends dead, no way to deal with his libido either aside from reading a whole lot of porn in public. I might edit that in a day or two.
I had some trouble writing both Naruto and Kakashi since I am neither an optimist like the former, nor am I depressed like the latter. I hope i got them both in character.
Artist of Ran- To answer your questions in order. Niether, I write best when i have ideas and not much time to write them. I don't know why but pressure sort of just compresses my thoughts into a stream and i can put it on paper. To edit, i just delete chunks of it and retype it again. I do have plans regarding to the massacre, but they aren't set in stone yet. Mina Olivander is five years younger than the marauders. She appeared in the Hokage's office shortly after the potter's died but before the other death eaters had been rounded up. It's an awkward time so i guess you can say the time flows parallel to the Harry potter books.
Reviews are much love.