It was about seven in the morning when Naruto flipped the sign on the shop door from Closed to Open. The sun was rising, and Nee-chan was cooking breakfast. Oh, and goosehead came inside and started sweeping the floor.
Naruto had always been an early riser. In the orphanage, it meant that he could sneak food from the kitchen before the keeper could forget to wake him up. On the streets, it meant that he could rummage through trash for food without having sake bottles and other things thrown at him. Sometimes he would wait at the playground for someone to play with him.
It always signaled a day of hard work and loneliness for him.
But in the Flying Blackbird? Waking up early just meant that someone had to open the store while the other person made a fry. Nothing more. It was so different from before that he still had a hard time believing it.
Up until a week ago, this ritual consisted of someone frying something and throwing it over their shoulder while the other ran about the kitchen with a giant platter to catch it-ttebayo. It was like racing with the keeper to get to the food, but way way more fun!
He didn't know how to make a fry, so whenever he cooked, it was always a bit of sliced fruit fried in butter.
Now? It didn't even matter if he got up first. Mina-nee kept pushing him out of the kitchen blandly explaining that the kitchen was no place for children. Her movements were stiffer, like if she got ran over with a horse cart-ttebayo.
He would know. He was too stiff to move for a week and one of the painted masked guys had to feed him after the hospital kicked him out.
Her face too, had become real stiff. Like she forgot how to smile and stuff. It was a little weird to watch and he wasn't sure what to make of it.
The witch mechanically shuffled out from the back of the shop with a large platter of fried eggs, toast, tomatoes, beans, sausages, bacon, and potatoes. She set it on the table and took her place behind the counter.
"Good morning Uchiha-san. Krrr" She said. Her pose didn't change when she continued to speak though she eyed the shiny hitai-ate with a weird interest. "What brings you here today?"
Itachi paused in his sweeping and stared for a moment before bowing slightly. "Good morning Oribanda-san. I am here for my package."
Mina-nee nodded and shuffled back into the kitchen, only to return, moments later with a paper bag.
Itachi took it, thanked her and walked outside before disappearing in a flash of leaves.
Nee-chan stared at the door for a few moments before turning back to the kitchen.
Maybe she would be more… normal if he told her something cool, like in the stories
"Hey nee-chan guess what?" He chirped.
"Krrr." The woman hummed absentmindedly but otherwise didn't respond.
"Nee-chan?"
Mina-nee turned to him with a wooden smile. "What is it Naruto?"
"I got first place in the academy obstacle course."
"Krr that's!..." Her expression twisted in confusion. As though she knew she was excited but completely confused as to why she should be. It looked like remembered a few moments later though. "... Great! I'll make your favorite tonight!"
Then she sort of hopped and fluttered back into the kitchen leaving Naruto alone with his thoughts.
If this happened to Jiji, Hinata, or Kiba it would be bloody creepy-ttebayo. But Mina-nee always acted different at the counter. She was usually calm and mysterious and happy and nothing in the world could make her mad when she was working.
Actually, that wasn't true-ttebayo. Sometimes she would act creepy on purpose to get the not-customers to leave.
She hates it when people come into the store for the sole purpose of eating the snacks she puts out and drinking tea. She says they push out paying customers with their noise and do nothing but leave behind messes for her to clean up. Not to mention she usually loses money because no one else wants to come inside when the store is packed. That's really bad for business-ttebayo.
A lot of them are snooty civilians that harass him when he goes out to buy ninja supplies-ttebayo. Shisui-nii says they're hypocrites, whatever that meant, and Dogface agreed. He'd buy regular hunting stuff, but the guy the counter kept skipping him when he tried to pay so he stopped going there.
There was also a time when Mina-nee tried to set up a delivery service. People were glad for it since a lot of them didn't like the snarling sounds that came from behind the shop -ttebayo. Of course business dropped to the pits once they realized that it would be him and not Shisui doing the deliveries.
He still did them, but only on the weekends and for people like the Inuzukas, who want Nee-chan's stuff but didn't like the smells of her potion ingredients.
The mysterious shopkeeper all knowing act was really weird to watch. Kinda funny too since nee-chan isn't actually like that.
Nee-chan always dropped the act when she wasn't at the counter though so this was definitely not normal. The weird chirp growl in some of the sentences was new.
Still, Naruto wasn't too worried though, Mina-nee still cries a little at night. The little things still make her happy. She's still there. She's just kinda stuck in her head. Inoichi-san can fix her. She'll see him on friday to get everything straightened out. Then everything will go back to normal-ttebayo.
Nee-chan always finds a way to move past things, which is pretty awesome and he kinda wants to be like that. Maybe without the new obsession with glass figures and jewels though. That was just weird-ttebayo.
He tried to ask Dogface what happened, but the ANBU guy didn't know any more than he did. Aside from the fact that it wasn't sabotage. The only way into the building, was through the store entrance and trying to get in any other way would only end in tears. He broke curfew once and snuck in through the window. Half way through he felt his skin burning and tearing.
It was a bloody awful mess-ttebayo. It took forever to get all the blood off his clothes and he could still remember the lecture she gave him while she had him sit in the essence of murtlap.
Bugger! It's almost 8! He was gonna be late for class!
Naruto quickly shoved his messy, half made lunch into a take out box and ran out of the shop at full speed.
He regretted not making his lunch last night and setting it aside. It would've taken less time in the morning. Mina-nee was probably going to chew him out for it later but right now he needed food to share at lunch time. Naruto shoved some of the breakfast from the tray haphazardly into a bento and ran out the door.
Now he wouldn't be able to check his traps without being really late for the academy. He was almost certain that one of them had something big in it. He could hear it snarl as he ran past. He just hoped it would still be there by the time he got back. Sometimes his traps would be cleared away while he was at school and that was bad-ttebayo. It's not like he could just go and buy supplies.
Naruto turned the corner and saw that the academy gates were still open but one of the teachers was moving to close it.
Good-ttebayo. That meant he still had time to get to class. With that thought in mind he sprinted as fast as he could and dashed inside before the Chuunin could lock him out. He made it to the desk just as Iruka-sensei started passing out the tests.
Today's test was supposed to really important-ttebayo. Hinata-chan he'd be held back if he skipped it and he really didn't want that. Iruka sensei would call Mina-nee to talk and then she would find out his secret and that would make her mad and she would leave him.
He didn't want her to leave- ttebayo.
Iruka-sensei gave him a rude look before giving him his test and moving on to the next person.
Naruto liked Iruka-sensei more than the other teachers. Just a little bit. He was a bit mean but he was fair. He couldn't get away with pantsing Mizuki-sensei any more than Kiba can. It was a weird feeling to suddenly be equal to someone outside of Nee-chan's store.
At least Iruka-sensei helped him when ever he asked instead of just berating him for not knowing something stupid. Nee-chan said that being professional was the mark of a good worker.
Naruto looked down at the exam, taking a glance at the questions to see if they answered each other. Nee-chan said that it happened sometimes and it helped a bunch whenever it did.
But it looked like Iruka-sensei was aware of things like that too and there were no such questions on the exam. That was fine, it was still Naruto's best subject.
It was about traps and hand to hand combat and it would be really embarrassing if he didn't do well-ttebayo.
-List the knots that can be used to make an emergency shelter in the forest.
Naruto thought back to the time when he and Hinata made their own little fort with shoelaces, reeds, and some giant sticks. They had used leafy branches and old bed sheets for the roof and walls.
Some civilian jerks came and kicked it down but it was still fun to make.-ttebayo
He quickly wrote down the knots they used before he forgot them.
- List a hunting trap and explain how it can be modified to capture an enemy nin.
Dogface and Shisui had taught him almost every thing he knew about traps and ninja tools. They even bought a ninja kit for him to practice. They understood about keeping it all a secret from Mina-nee and said they would support him. It was so much fun spending all those hours in the woods setting up snares and pitfalls and then eating his catches. They told him that just about every trap can be changed for any circumstance, even if they won't show him the thing with tags.
He wants to catch a deer in the fall. Nee-chan said that she missed eating venison over winter and he was going to get her one even if he had to brow beat Iruka-sensei into helping him. Hinata-chan said it would be a good birthday present-ttebayo!
There were too many traps and modifications for him to choose from. He'll just skip it and come back to it later.
- List the targets of the body in hand to hand combat.
Surprisingly, it was Mina-nee offered to teach him how to fight.
"Uhhhhhh. Nee-chan?"
"Yes?" Replies the witch as she corrected his aim. "What is it?"
"I thought you didn't like fighting." He held the stance for a few moments before dropping it. "So why..." He trailed off not really knowing if he should continue or if it would just make her upset like during kurisumasu. He had been pretty sure that she wouldn't attack him but sometimes her magic would flair and it always gave this incredibly uneasy feeling in his gut.
"Just because I don't like fighting doesn't mean I can't. For an underage wizard it's pretty much a necessity since we can't use magic to defend ourselves in public." She patted the dust off her dress and pulled out her wand out to vanish the mud. "Most old wizard families teach their children how to fight hand to hand."
His brow furrowed in confusion. "Tha's a pretty dumb rule-ttebayo. How're you supposed to practice outside of school without a wand?"
"I think it just meant that you were supposed to practice magic at home with your parents watching. But the children from old families tended to get kidnapped, like how your friend Hinata did." She shrugged. Mina-nee then proceeded to rattle off a list of other people she knew that had been mugged, nearly abducted, beaten in alleyways, or broken into shops. "That's another thing actually. Spells cause way more collateral damage than a good punch to the throat."
"But can't you just do the thing with your hand-ttebayo?"
"Not if I don't want a record of property damage. Which I don't" Mina crossed her arms. "Now. What are the most effective places to hit?"
Oh he knew the answer to this one. Naruto put his pencil to the paper and began to write.
-The eyes 'cos they're squishy and people mostly depend on their eyes. The throat next because people use it to breathe and choke in blood of the soft bone breaks. A choke hold around the neck too if it's possible. Nee-chan says the brain needs air so even if the person can still breathe if pressure is kept up they will pass out and die. Then the part between the ribs. That part is where a lot of important things cross.
Naruto isn't sure how long he's been writing, but Iruka-sensei comes for the tests before he knows it and Naruto leaves for the day.
Hinata had Kunoichi classes and she promised to teach him the secret flower messages-ttebayo. Those sound so cool and he almost wished he was a girl so that he could join her. Nee-chan grows some scary things but all of them are pretty obvious and that wasn't good for a ninja-ttebayo.
He can't wait until they start teaching chakra, then he could hide and buy his own groceries without needing to go into the training grounds!
Hinata smiles sadly at him when he tells her this. She always does, but it's not her fault the village hates him. She doesn't need to be sad.
Oh. Now she's going to be sad through the Kunoichi courses. Maybe he should've told her that after her class. That probably would've been better.
In the meantime, he'll go to check his traps and then he could tell her what he's caught. He hopes they're still there.
Naruto doesn't see that Iruka had been looking at his test paper and peering at him curiously.
Iruka had always wanted to be a teacher at the academy.
Even before the Kyuubi.
He'd like to think that he had gotten pretty good at catching cheaters. Cheating was only allowed for certain kinds of questions. The kids were training to be ninja after all, it wouldn't do to punish all types of cheating, but somethings are absolutely mandatory. Like the survival questions.
The majority of his class had given simple answers. Some of them were wrong but all of them age appropriate.
Some of the clan kids like Sasuke, Hinata, and Shino had given more details but that was to be expected.
He did NOT expect the monster of a paper that Naruto had handed in. Some of the history questions had silly doodles in them but the rest of the test had been crammed full of characters. Even the margins had been filled.
The Kyuubi brat who skipped out on classes to prank the teachers and often slept through what he hadn't skipped, had given chuunin level answers. Many of the words had been misspelled but the information was still there.
Where did it come from? Where did he get this level of information? Iruka knew that the academy only taught the basics of trapping. There was nothing about using live vipers in any sort of trap, nor was anything taught about creating facades using the corpses of animals and occasional enemy shinobi. The second topic was rarely broached due to the time and skills needed for it.
Naruto certainly couldn't have gotten it from the school library. No. Much too hazardous. The level of information on traps and poisons wouldn't be there. Students would be tempted to try and replicate the descripted traps only to kill themselves horribly when it went wrong. The same went with poisons, and the aforementioned viper trap.
He must've gotten it from the Ninja library then. The problem with that is that it was most definitely banned to anyone under the rank of genin and even then, you needed at least a year's worth of experience.
Iruka was embarrassed and a little ashamed to admit he was going to punish Naruto for cheating. There was nothing wrong with sneaking into classified data as shinobi are often asked to retrieve valuables and classified documents. Sneaking was good training for such missions, but some of the materials are incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands and a lack of common sense was certainly a good reason for detention.
Hearing Naruto's conversation with Hinata stopped him in his tracks.
Naruto was hunting for his own food! That explained just about everything. His frequent absences, chronic tardiness, ownership of dangerous materials, and his habit of losing books were probably the result of him spending most of his time looking for food.
It also explained his lack of social skills, although the witch seemed to be helping with that.
Then again maybe not, she was extremely blunt, something that Naruto seemed to have picked up.
No wonder he'd been seeing an increase in trap clearing requests at the missions desk. They were Naruto's attempts to scavenge food.
Iruka wondered what other skills Naruto had to develop to compensate for civilian bias.
Obviously he would know how to dress an animal if he had been hunting for his own food. He should also be semi-decent at tracking. Naruto's trap setting skills pretty much spoke for themselves.
His clothes looked as if they had been made from curtains and discarded linens so he must've known how to sew. Or perhaps he got his… sister, the witch to magic something for him.
Perhaps it was time to have a conversation with her regarding his concerns with the boy.
Iruka finished up a quarter of his exams before excusing himself and leaving Mizuki to mark the rest. He'd have to treat him to sushi later to make up for saddling him with most of the work.
The walk to the Flying Blackbird was relatively uneventful aside from the occasional shower of sparks from the magical children's toys that Majo-san occasionally sold. The store stood completely at odds with the rest of the shinobi district with its brightly colored awnings and strange dimensions. It was quite a difference between the ruins of the old antique shop and its current form today. The top of the building seemed to be bigger than the bottom, something that could've only occurred with magic.
There was a line of Akimichis trailing out the door, something that happened every so often when she made something from her homeland. Fortunately, he could still get through the doors.
The air of the store always made him feel tingly inside, not entirely pleasant but bearable. Rows of charmed magical products lined the shelves, the most common of which were t-shirts with charmed prints, followed various potions at incredibly high prices, sticks that would release a shower of sparks when waved, witch desserts both with and without magical effects, a book of spells from which one could learn for a hefty price and a stack of properly filled forms, a display case of various wands, and a number of books which could be read for a certain time for a small fee.
There was a large chocolate cake cut into cubes sitting on the countertop which would be consumed bite by bite as the Akimichi all purchased something and took a sample after payment. Iruka spied two Naras playing a game with what appeared to be an animated witch shogi board. Kurenai was studying and taking notes from a large tome of magical monsters.
Maybe Mizuki would like a box of cupcakes.
That would be after he had spoken with the shopkeeper about Naruto's grades. "Oribanda-san? I have some private matters I need to discuss with you. It involves Naruto."
"Very well. Please wait a moment." Oribanda's face was eerily wooden and unmoving as she spoke. The witch then turned around and cawed into the back of the store. "Krrrrr SHISUI! WATCH THE COUNTER!"
The woman then led him into the kitchen and gestured for him to speak. "What did you want to speak about?"
"Err… well, My name is Umino Iruka. I'm his teacher from the Ninja academy."
That was apparently not the right thing to say as he saw something flash across her face for a moment. Only a moment but it was enough to put him on guard. "Fair enough. What did you wish to speak about?"
Remembering the rumors of Oribanda's distaste for the way of the ninja, Iruka carefully considered the rest of his words. "He speaks very highly of you, Dogface and Shisui. Yet he's an orphan. I was just curious about the people in his life."
The witch stared at him unconvinced for a few minutes. Purple eyes looking as though they could see all of his secrets. "Most people just accuse him of cheating or me of helping him cheat."
The tingling inside gets a little bit worse.
"Erm….." He shifted uncomfortably and began giving the most positive report he could think of. "Well, Naruto does fairly well in class on the occasions that he shows up. He has a cheerful disposition and he handles the civilian bias against him fairly well. He gets along fairly well with the clan ninja, especially with Hinata Hyuuga. His study habits have much to be desired but he fights well during the spars and is eager to teach his skills to others. His reactions to playground scuffles and bullying lead me to believe that he would be an excellent guard or escort. His skills at hunting and trapping on the other hand point to being a good saboteur or tracker. To be honest I don't think he would be a very bad teacher either but the rest of the village may not except him for such a position."
Iruka took a breath before finishing. "I highly doubt that he needed you to cheat for him when he is doing just fine for himself. At the rate he's going, He'll certainly become the ninja he brags about becoming."
He was surprised at how little he actually had to make up in his report. Naruto really was a good boy and Iruka was glad to be his teacher.
"I'll be sure to tell Naruto that you think so highly of him." The witch nodded. Then she crossed her arms and leaned on the wall. Her sly smile indicated that she already knew the answer but was asking only for the sake of it. "Did you really come here just to praise him?"
"You're rather suspicious aren't you?" Replied Iruka. "But no. I just thought you should know about his habit of skipping classes and snooping in the administrative offices. The other teachers don't appreciate it and are trying to get him kicked out."
"Krrr. Duly noted. I'll speak to him tonight." She nodded and the two of them walked out of the kitchen.
"Naruto. I need to speak with you. Krr."
Naruto dropped his kendama in alarm. Nee-chan never started any conversation like that unless the subject was serious. "Uhhh.. sure. What is it Nee-chan?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yeah! 'Course I do-ttebayo!"
The witch fiddled with the pin of her cloak. "Why didn't you tell me you wanted to be a ninja?"
Naruto allowed himself to panic momentarily before giving her the biggest smile he could muster. "Uhhh…. I'm not going to be a ninja. I-I'm just going to the ninja academy b-because um… civilian teachers are jerks… a-an' I'm uh…. I'm gonna be a shopkeeper like you!" He stuttered.
Maybe that would convince her to leave the subject alone? Dogface said he'd help him explain the ninja thing to Nee-chan, but he was out of the village on a mission. Shisui-nii wasn't going to be much help either since he always goes home after the store closes.
A corner of her mouth lifted up, then went back to normal. "Your teacher spoke to me today. Umino Iruka."
"H-He's not my-"
"Naruto. Cut it out. Krr."
The two of them fall silent.
Then the image of his sister figure blurs.
The boy quickly wipes away the tears that were now manifesting in his eyes. He meant to stay calm and collected and professional, but the tears just keep coming. Then the sniffling starts. "I'm s-sorry. Nee-chan. I-I- I promise I won't be a ninja anymore. I'll uhhh…. I'll go an' move out tom-"
"Don't be ridiculous. Children aren't meant to live alone."
"... Nee- chan?"
"Yes?"
"Do you hate me now?"
"What?"
"L-like the others… Do you hate me now? Since I want to be a ninja-ttebayo?" Naruto shuffles his feet against the floor. His hands were balled up so tightly that his knuckles were white. Still, his jaw was set and his eyes were determined.
The pause before she answered felt like forever. "... You still want to be a ninja, even though you think I'll hate you for it… That's pretty brave. Nikita would've approved of that, the duelist that he was." She chuckled a little bit. "No. I don't hate you."
Naruto sighs in relief.
"But I just want to know something." She crouched down in front of him. "What sort of ninja do you want to be?"
"Eh?"
"I summoned some books from the library to see if there are different branches or not. There are many different kinds. Guards, trackers, genjutsu specialist, saboteurs, ninjutsu specialist, taijutsu specialist, animal training, front line soldiers, scouts. Dogface's division too, but I couldn't find much information on them."
"Well I wanna be the Hokage! I'll be good at everything."
"Why the Hokage?" She cocked her head.
"So everyone can respect you and me." He sniffed like Nee-chan sometimes does when she's poking at Dogface. Oh, speaking of… "Plus someone has to make sure that Dogface's friends are getting a break."
Naruto starts feeling fingers in his hair before it changed to arms wrapped tightly around him. "You are a good person Naruto. Stay like that."
He chuckled in relief. " Sure."
Then Mina-nee pulled away and pinned him with a glare. "But I'm warning you now. If you join the masked division, especially the blank masked division. We are going to have some serious problems. I refuse to associate with an assassin. They don't live for very long in England and they only attract trouble for the people around them. Understand?" Her purplish eyes seemed to bore into him.
"Uhh… yeah. Got it-ttebayo." Naruto shuffles back to his toy and resumes his tricks.
Blimey, Dogface is going to be in so much trouble if Nee-chan finds out he's an assassin. But Dogface kept Naruto's dream a secret for him and Naruto will return the favor.
Nee-chan's smart though. And even if Nee-chan never saw his face, Naruto was sure she would know who he was purely from all the time they spent together-ttebayo.
But Iruka was SO going to pay for talking to Nee-chan. He had some extra rabbit guts he could use for a prank. They're extra stinky from spending all day in the sun.
"Oh. Before I forget, Umino had some very nice things to say about you."
"R-Really? Like what-ttebayo?"
By the end of the spiel Naruto was red as a tomato. Iruka-sensei actually liked him! That was new. Maybe he won't use the rabbit guts. He had some ping pong balls lying around somewhere.
"Now… I don't care about how often you go to class, but you better pass all the exams."
Author's note- I LIVE! I have updated as requested!
This chapter has been brought to you by the epic and awesome Halfway to Reality. They are a god send helping me with the dialogue and everything. Seriously. Than them.
My summer was nuts and I ended up juggling four different jobs at the same time which as you can imagine, didn't leave much time to write. Inspiration was also pretty hard to come by since I kept getting into the zone and getting interrupted. If anyone out there has ADHD you know how awful it is when it happens. Anyways school's started now and chances are, my update times will be even slower.
That being said, I still have Ideas. I know where I want the story to go as well as an approximation of how to get there. I'm already planning the events of the next chapter.
Was she successful at becoming an animagus? Heeheehee
The stock of the flying blackbird has now changed. She has run out of the candies she brought with her when she first arrived. Some of them she can make herself but its definitely subpar compared to the originals. The store now primarily sells magically tailored clothing, Magically enhanced equipment, animated images on various media, food, book rentals, potions, equipment rentals, enchanted children's toys, and various magical services like repair, restore, and encryption. It also functions as something of a cafe since no one else knows how to make her delicious concoctions.
The only reason it isn't a restaurant is that she doesn't have the actual ingredients she needs and therefore the food she makes is only good for a few hours. Afterwards the favor and quality start to degrade.
It's not unusual to see people renting her chess set and playing wizard chess. Teenagers hire her to encrypt their journals so that only they can read it. Ninja would do that too, but they don't want her to undo the spells if she gets curious.
The toy naruto was playing with, the kendama, is basically a wooden ball attached to a mallet and you can do all sorts of really neat tricks with it. Check out this link! www. youtube watch?v= iFiiXkonsXY
I thought about using a yoyo, but a kendama seems more fitting for the setting.
Now for the comments.
. Fanfic: I totally love you too! Thanks for reviewing.
TO RUDE AND MYSTERIOUS GUEST: I think you've reviewed the wrong story. This isn't a self insert. 10kg is. Mina might be something like me but she definitely isn't me. Plus if you're going to offer criticism please be more specific. I'm writing a story that I'd like to read and i would love to do a good job writing it. the words stupid, dumb, and boring aren't very helpful when it comes to that.
Komi: Haha. Wish granted. And don't we all.
Manaliac: She has indeed found her animal. She just doesn't know it yet. Want to take a stab at what it is?
Anbu Codename-Kuro: to sum up the last chapter. Kurenai scored a psuedo apprentice ship. Mina attempted to become an animagus and got kind of sick.
SecretlyADayDreamer: That could be a couple of things. Her joy and love for flying, a leftover smell from flying around on her broom, her possible animagus form. :D
Ever mysterious guest: Wish granted! XD
Ever mysterious guest: Heres the update.
chibichibi98: Thank you! I always wanted more stories about magical stores and mysterious shopkeepers so I thought I'd write my own.
~~ Reviews and feedback are much appreciated. Thank you.