[Updated 06/09/2017]
Chapter Sixteen: The Real World
Closing the gap, O'Neill charged like a raging bull, growl climbing until it rang in his ears, when inches away, Haran disappeared into thin air, and O'Neill's feet swept away underneath him, brusquely hauled in the opposite direction at a break-neck speed.
He grabbed frantically at the floor not liking his current predicament, but the drawing continued as if another magnet awaited his presence on the other side. His clothes tore on the rutted surface, sharp edges cut at his extended hands, while his elbows and knees skidded over knocks and jagged stone, blood instantly seeping through torn material.
A terrifying scream resonated at a high pitch within the maze as O'Neill fought against the vacuum pull. His throat burnt with the effort, until his shouting stopped, and his feet lifted off the ground, followed by his knees, torso, and finally his head. Up into the void above he rose, eyes expanding as he realized what was taking place.
The maze drifted away, sucked inward, whilst the darkness drew him like an object fighting a gravitational pull in to a tunnel. He drifted for a short while and lost perception.
Jack O'Neill jerked wide-awake. The world around him came through obscure, white, and black. He screamed furiously, startling the occupants in the room, as he tried to move, but fastenings kept him securely in place. He suddenly felt the cold sensation of a slab against his head, spine, and then he thrashed about violently.
"No! No! Get back here Haran! You bastard! C'mon and face me! Let's finish this like men. Let me kill you! I swear I'll kill you! Coward!"
Breathing laboured, he continued flailing, desperate for freedom to go after the Arab. Foul curses came in random intervals until Daniel could take it no longer.
"Jack!" He shouted over the noise, however, O'Neill kept up with the feat. "Jack! Snap out of it!"
The Colonel stopped abruptly, distant brown eyes frantically scanning the room. Before him, stood Daniel and Teal'c looking on as if he had gone mad, concern laced their expressions, while he scowled in confusion.
"Danny?" He asked voice thin, sore from the shouting. Unnerved eyes gawked at the archaeologist. "Daniel! Help me, please. Where's Haran? I-I-I need to find him."
Daniel stared with a blank expression at a loss for words, so Teal'c answered in his stead, "I am sorry O'Neill we were advised against it."
"T? Please buddy. Help me! I need to find him. Kill him. Just let me kill him." Jack pleaded desperately, tears welling in his eyes. "You've done it before – tasted revenge. Please allow me it this once."
Behind him, Major Carter gestured for the men to leave, to give them some privacy. Both looked at her and then complied. Ignorant, Jack still pleaded with the Jaffa.
"No! Don't go. Stay; help me. We can do it together. Please don't leave me."
The sound of a door shutting tight resonated in the room. He was alone once again, fighting against the restraints.
"Colonel." The soft familiar tone slithered through his body, halted his useless struggle as his eyes combed the area in search of the voice.
Major Carter silently came about, staying in the shadows until she stagnated across from him, observed how his eyes squinted, and then stepped into the light, gaze fixed on his sorrowed filled expression. She was expecting confusion, surprise even, but it appeared as if he looked straight through her, treating her existence as if she was not there, could not be there. For in his mind, she was dead and only viewed her as a hallucination, perhaps what he had thought about his teammates earlier.
"Sam?" His croak made her wince, her name even more so. The Colonel rarely used her birth name. "I-Is it you?"
"Yes Sir." She nodded with the reply, stepped forward until she forestalled inches away from his position. "It's really me." She whispered gently.
Jack stared at her in disbelief, not knowing if he should trust his sanity. "I-I-I heard the gun go off. You were dead." His brow furrowed. He quickly broke eye contact.
"Only in your mind Colonel. I've been here all along, watching, wishing I could disconnect you." A small smile lingered on her lips.
Haran's previous conversation mulled, repeating the word impulsiveness in a seemingly endless loop. Up until the point where she responded, gently cupping the Colonel's face in her hands. Carter tenderly tilted it towards her gaze, while placing her forehead against his, reassuring that she was there, and that she was not just a figment of his imagination. She sensed how his breathing slowed, her fingers feeling the warmth of his fresh tears trickling down. She was relieved that she no longer felt his pain, as his disconnection had severed the link they had shared. Nevertheless, she knew from experience how he felt.
A minute or so went by as they stayed in the soothing position, when Sam felt his jaw tighten underneath her fingers and instantly discerned what was about to ensue.
"Sam, why am I tied up like Frankenstein?" He asked frustrated.
Carter let go, stepped back, swallowing nervously as she did so. His eyes flared in anger, expression dark as he revealed his dislike.
"Ah . . . well." She swallowed nervously, surprised she still had spittle, for her mouth suddenly felt dry. "You see . . . uh . . ."
"Spit it out Major and while you're at it. Untie me; my back's killing me." His frustrated tone made her flinch. "That's an order!" He exclaimed sternly, pulling at the restraints. "Now!" Heat spanned around his neck with the shout.
"I can't do that, Sir." Sam reflected his stern gaze. "The resident technician and scientist Michal said it's for your own good. You need to hold out just for a little while longer."
"You would ignore a direct order . . . from your Commanding Officer?" Jack questioned angry.
Carter gave him a reluctant nod of confirmation, hating every bit of it. "Michal has a proposition, Colonel."
"Has he now?" Jack spat mockingly, enjoying her wince. "If it has to do with making this crap disappear . . ."
Her brow furrowed, head tilting in surprise. "Actually, it does."
"Lucky guess." He smiled deviously – for once, he had anticipated her train of thought and absorbed it like an excited schoolboy, whereas Carter gazed on in annoyance.
His expression changed to concerned in the blink of an eye, eyes softening. It disarmed her, not to mention his kind voice.
"What about you? Is it only for me? I don't want you to remember what I've put you through. Heck! I don't want to remember either, but if it's only for me, I-I I'll take a rain check." Sam remained tight-lipped, O'Neill's brow furrowing.
"What's wrong? Did I upset you? Are you still sensing my emotions? Dang, I'm sorry Sam."
He reacted without thinking, wanting to move towards her in need to console. A curse slipped through his lips as he realized his position.
"Dammit! Why can't you let me go? This is bullshit! C'mon Carter, do me a favour will ya?" His head snapped up from where he was gazing at the fastenings, whilst his eyes blazed in anger. "I order you to release me."
Sam gaped like a fish. The Colonel was irrational, irregular in his behaviour, and evidently confused. The light refused to shine within his mind, but his emotions churned relentlessly causing him to flit between reactions as if a child.
"Major!" His shout startled her; she imagined how the rage burned within him. "When we get back to the S.G.C, I'll court martial you for this insubordination, see to it that you're dishonourably discharged, never to work in any field of expertise ever again. You hear me?"
The Major's military veneer snapped and she threw caution to the wind. "With all due respect, Sir, your brain has suffered an advanced form of trauma. They souped you up with a drug that heightened your senses, causing them to go into overdrive. Your physical body is struggling to adjust to what you've experienced within the virtual reality. Emotionally you're unstable, your mind's basically a mush. You need time to recuperate, allow the drugs to fade from your system. That's why you're tied up, so you don't harm anyone, especially yourself."
Jack shook his head vigorously refusing to accept her reasoning. "No, no, no, I don't believe you. You're preventing me from killing that bastard Haran. You're stalling. Why? You took a liking to him, didn't ya? Just like Narim, Marty . . . Pete. What? You couldn't have me so you went after Haran instead?"
Sam reacted as if she had been stung two times over, tears welling in her eyes, which she closed, while placing her hand before trembling lips. Regardless of the confession, it was a cruel, low blow. Michal's proposition to forget, suddenly seemed alluring; anything to remove the Colonel's erratic behaviour from memory.
She stepped back a few paces hiding her countenance from the Colonel who kept throwing wild accusations at her, and then exited through the door. Leaning her back against it, she exhaled a shaky breath calming her trembling lips, wiped at the welling tears, and closed her eyes.
The Major felt shattered, fragile, ill-equipped to be sucked into a world where she could not help but experience suffering in an overwhelming way, and she had barely endured two scenarios, whereas Jack had faced a cacophony of thoughts, emotions, and encounters. And had confronted it all with a powerful drug that had turned him inside out. He had been a wild animal in a simulated world.
Now, Jack was but a child, too emotionally immature to control his outbursts, thoughtless, irrational, and undisciplined – the opposite of who Colonel O'Neill was. He may be irreverent at times, yet he knew how to discern when to act, react and when not to. He had his weaknesses, which only made him human just like the rest of SG1.
"Do not fret Major Carter." Teal'c's voice startled Sam, head snapping in his direction, while her eyes revealed sudden surprise.
The smirking Jaffa continued as his eyes gazed through the observation window. "O'Neill will conquer this like he did Ba'al's torture. We need not worry."
She nodded her confirmation, gaze scanning the rest of the room. "Where's Danny?"
"Sharif called for him."
"This the man we should be grateful for?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Indeed, but that is not of importance Major Carter. You are at a crossroad."
"Okay." She replied sceptically, tilting her head in scrutiny. The Jaffa was definitely up to something.
"Personally, I would not accept Michal's proposition. It would defeat the purpose of Alfahis. Furthermore, if I understand correctly, the memories will be removed, yet not the emotional or physical pain inflicted by the machine. His mind will fight for answers, which none but you can help him with."
"Yes, it was described to be like someone who has amnesia, and frankly, Teal'c, it's not up to you. I experienced part of his world, underwent what he did. It's not something you would want to remember, especially with our . . ."
Sam hesitated, swallowing the knot in her throat. Teal'c raised his eyebrow, acknowledging the soldiers' secret care for one another. She continued. ". . . I can guarantee you, once he's fully lucid, shame and guilt will eat him alive. I should know, it's already tearing at me, especially due to what might happen once we arrive at Stargate Command, and then inform General Hammond. We were pinned against one another. The Colonel nearly killed me, and I am not so sure we'll have a job when this gets out."
Sam cringed as the images of the forest came to mind, and shook her head in retort.
"I understand your predicament Major, and the rules of your military, quite clearly. Therefore, I think we should ask Michal if only certain memories can be erased, and not all. Since, you already deal with your care for one another on a daily basis; it should not cause a problem with your superiors. SG1 in general has some exception, do we not Major Carter?"
A smug smile curled his lips, for the Jaffa knew he had given them an escape. A way to keep what had happened within the world a secret without thinking about the consequences. It was a white flag, so to speak.
The atmosphere suddenly felt thick, and swiftly turned awkward, so Sam stepped away from the door and towards the window.
"Uhm, yes T, that would be an excellent question."
She gladly changed the subject with a few raps on the glass. Michal's head snapped up from the console. Poor man had to deal with O'Neill's drugged state, something he had apparently witnessed many times before. He gazed with a questioning expression, curtly nodding his chin as Sam beckoned him into the room.
They were about to hear if Teal'c's suggestion could be implicated. Something Carter desperately wished was available as she was uncomfortable confronting her boyfriend when all was said and done at the debriefing. Nor would she enjoy facing Jack O'Neill in his current state or afterward for that matter. She had practically been in his shoes throughout the whole ordeal, and it was not a memory worth reliving.
The door opened with a soft click and Michal entered the room, facial expression revealing his expectancy. Carter met him with a curt nod, she was ready to let go and move on as if nothing had ever happened.