Hey guys! :D I know it's been a long time for this one but I'm still here :) Thank you for those who posted reviews, you are soooo sweeet xoxoxxoxoxo Hope you all enjoy!
The cruiser rumbled softly under Anakin's feet as it coursed into hyperspace on a direct route to the Neropta system. The twenty-one hours journey it would take to reach their destination had begun that morning; after confirming their cargo and the presence of every single trooper in the battalion accompanying them, Obi-Wan had ordered the jump to light speed. This was not the first reconnaissance mission Anakin was performing with his former Master. In fact, since Obi-Wan was so skilled in negotiation, reconnaissance missions were probably their specialty by now.
Considering it was their first contact with the planet, he and Obi-Wan would land with only a couple of troopers as their companions, not wanting to scare or send the wrong message to this new population who should soon join the Republic. The rest of the battalion would stay in orbit, just in case something went wrong. The two Jedi would then negotiate terms with the local authorities and, if a treaty was signed, a territory would likely be offered as a Republic military base. Only then would the rest of the battalion land on the planet. If everything went as planned, he and Obi-Wan would fly back to Coruscant in ten days' time, leaving the task of building the Republic base to the responsible Troopers. Maybe then they could get some much needed rest…
Anakin sighed heavily and looked at one of the large windows in the command center, the flashing blue lights of hyperspace dancing in front of his eyes, completely obvious to what was happening around him. They had already been debriefed about the mission and there was still a long way to go before they landed. Right now, there was only one thing on the Jedi knight's mind: the fact that, ever since he woke up that morning, Obi-Wan had been avoiding him like the plague.
This was completely against the Jedi Master's usual behavior. For so many years, he and Obi-Wan had been so close is every part of their lives, sharing quarters, every meal, sparring sessions, you name it. Everyone in the Jedi Order knew they did everything together. For Anakin, Obi-Wan had always been the lever of his life as a Jedi and his partner. Having the man run away from him like that was making him feel… uneasy.
Was the Jedi Master he cared for so much doing this willingly? Anakin hoped not, but it was difficult to tell. First, he had woken up completely alone in his bed that morning, the feeling of the cold sheets at his side sending a pang of loneliness in his heart. Second, as soon as he had placed a foot in the kitchen, his former Master had rapidly finished his breakfast before quickly exiting their quarters, telling him he had to meet with the Council before their departure. Also, as they were boarding the large cruiser, each time he had tried to approach Obi-Wan, the man had quickly given him a task to do before Anakin had had the time to say anything. Every single time.
Anakin sighed and his gaze dropped to the floor. He had thought that the jump to hyperspace might have given him the chance to speak to his Master, but no matter who he asked, the man was nowhere to be found. Of course, he had contacted him on his comlink but the only response his former Master had given him had been "We'll talk later, Anakin. I'm busy." and closing the communication before Anakin could say a word. It broke the young man's heart a little.
He was so deep in his thoughts that when a gentle hand gave him a pat on his shoulders, he practically jumped three feet high. When he turned around he was faced with his own personal commander, Captain Rex. "General Skywalker, everything alright?" The blond clone asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly not expecting such a reaction for the Jedi Knight.
Anakin took a breath to calm his racing heart and plastered a smile on his face. "Of course, Rex. You just scared me a little."
The Clone commander chuckled lightly and placed himself at the side of his friend. "I see; it is an honor not given to many people across the galaxy…"
Anakin scoffed. The galaxy might call him The Hero with No Fear, but fear was part of his daily life. He just knew how to hide it well. Right now, all his fears were directed towards Obi-Wan. He knew, deep in his heart, that the man might be uncomfortable because of last night. He wasn't stupid: since he woke up alone that morning, there was a chance Obi-Wan might have realized their position at some point and fled to his own room in the night. Two Jedi cuddling like they did was not permitted, even scandalous since they were former Master and Padawan. But Anakin being Anakin, his heart skipped a beat each time his body remembered Obi-Wan's strong arms around him. It had felt so right; like he had belonged in his Master's embrace all along. Just being close to him like that, listening to his soft breathing had been better than everything he had ever done with Padmé before.
Again, Anakin sighed heavily. What kind of fool was he hoping to catch the heart of Obi-Wan? The man had made it clear that he wasn't interested in entering a relationship. Even if Anakin could clearly remember that night on Boz Pitty where he had possibly heard the man having sex in the next tent, the Jedi Code was probably keeping the idea of love completely out of Obi-Wan's mind…
Once again, it was Rex who took him out of his mind. "Maybe you should get some sleep, General. We will land in about seven hours and, to be honest, you look like bantha poodoo. We have things covered, here."
Anakin looked at Rex and nodded. Rex had a point, he was tired. "You may be right, Rex, I could use some sleep. When was the last time you saw Obi-Wan?"
Rex frowned and stroked his chin, searching for a valuable answer. "I saw him at the cantina about fifteen minutes ago. He was speaking with commander Cody."
"Thanks, Rex," he said as he exited the command center, leaving his friend in charge. He had one goal in his mind, and for now, it wasn't to sleep. He would talk to Obi-Wan before going to bed, no matter if the man wanted it or not.
At the other end of the Cruiser, Obi-Wan walked in an empty corridor, rubbing his temple with two fingers. Stopping in his tracks, he cursed. Staying with Anakin last night had been the biggest mistake of his life. Even though he had spent the day doing his best to stay away from the young man, his heart was aching to see him again and his mind utterly refused to think about anything else. He had thought that avoiding Anakin for a couple of hours might have helped him cope with the warm feeling in his heart that had suddenly appeared that morning when he had realised he was snuggled up to his former Padawan. It didn't help at all, in fact the feeling only got worse by the hour. Frustrated, Obi-Wan turned to face the wall and gave it an angry hit. "Kenobi, you foolish old man…" He whispered to himself. Anakin was kriffing married, and he was dumb enough to have feelings for him. The young man belonged in Padmé's arms and certainly not in his. He was so focused on his own thoughts that he didn't see the tall figure rushing towards him.
"There you are! I've been searching for you all day, Obi-Wan!" Anakin said, his tone slightly angry.
When he heard his former Padawan's voice, Obi-Wan jumped out of his skin and looked at the taller man with wide eyes. He wasn't prepared to face Anakin, not yet. Instantly, he backed up several steps, trying his best to avoid eye contact with the man. "Anakin… Can this wait? I have to-" He stumbled on his words, completely out of reasons to give his former Padawan. He had been keeping himself away from him all day, after all. Obi-Wan just hoped Anakin hadn't noticed…
The taller man walked faster and went to place himself right in front of Obi-Wan's path, keeping the older man from escaping. His face expressed impatience, anger, the kind of emotion that was typical of Anakin when he didn't get what he wanted. "You've been avoiding me, Master. I want to know what going on!"
Blast it. Obi-Wan's mind rushed as he tried his best to come out with an excuse or basically anything that could satisfy the man's curiosity until he could come up with a better explanation for his odd behavior. His heart pumped in his chest as he looked in those eyes flaring with kept anger, those lips pouting… Force did Anakin knew how beautiful he was? "I'm sorry Anakin, I've been very busy. I was on my way to speak with Commander Cody, so if you'll please excuse me…"
Obi-Wan made a move to pass beside Anakin, but the larger man blocked him again, crossing his arms over his chest. "You talked to Cody minutes ago, Master. Captain Rex saw you." he challenged, taking one step forward while his former Master took two steps back. Determined to get the answers he sought, Anakin pointed to the communicator attached to the older man's leather belt. "If you truly need to speak to Cody again, you have your comlink. Use it."
Obi-Wan looked down at his communicator in an attempt to hide the panic look that was probably very obvious in his eyes. Anakin was completely right: he had talked to Cody merely minutes ago and the Commander would most likely make a face if he contacted him again on such short notice. His former Padawan had him busted. Obi-Wan almost laughed at himself thinking about how he could always keep a straight face in front of his enemies, but not in front of his old Padawan. No, he could never completely hide anything from Anakin, even if he tried. It broke his heart having to lie to the young man's face like that, but it had to be done.
His voice tone was harsher than he wanted when he spoke again. "Anakin, I do not appreciate this attitude of yours. No matter what you think, I'm still your superior and I have nothing to answer to you. Now, I would appreciate if you would kindly let me go back to my business to ensure this mission goes smoothly." He snapped, instantly regretting it.
The boy he cared for so much looked like he had just been stabbed, looking at him with a mix of hurt and confusion. Obi-Wan expected him to answer back, but to his deception, the young boy didn't add anything, just stared at him with eyes Obi-Wan knew would haunt him for the next week. Force, he didn't want to hurt his boy, but what choice did he have?
Deciding it probably was best to end the conversation, Obi-Wan sighed heavily and turned around, not wanting to face the taller man. "Get some rest, Anakin. We'll talk later." He murmured as he started walking down the corridor again, concentrating on keeping his posture stable: he couldn't afford to let his former Padawan know how somber he was feeling right now. It took all his self-control not to just turn around and hug and apology out of the taller man.
"It's because of last night, is it?"
As soon as the words were processed in Obi-Wan's brain, he froze. Yes, it was exactly because of last night and he had hoped Anakin would have never brought the subject up. But he did, and now Obi-Wan was trapped, needing to answer for his actions last night. His heart pounded madly in his chest as he stared in front of him, his body suddenly attacked by cold sweats. Ironic to think that he had never felt nervous like this in a long time, considering the many dangerous missions he had been on recently.
His breath caught in his throat when he heard and sensed Anakin walking closer, placing himself just mere centimeters from his body. He could feel the radiant warmth coming from the man and the reassuring energy he always broadcasted and Obi-Wan surprised himself with the urging desire to just lean back and relax in it. This wasn't good. He had to keep repeating to himself that Anakin was a married man and that no matter what happened, the Jedi Code would always come in their way.
Anakin wasn't stupid. He had clearly seen his former Master's reaction at his word and had instantly known he had touched a nerve. As he walked closer to the older Jedi, he could sense the smaller body getting tense. So it was because of last night after all. He needed to know what his Master was feeling almost as badly as he needed air to breathe. He even tried to get a glimpse of what the man was thinking, but Obi-Wan had raised his mental shield to the point where Anakin couldn't even penetrate the man's mind. "You stayed with me last night, Master…"
Obi-Wan swallowed. "You were hurting, my friend. It is only natural for me to try to ease your pain."
Anakin shook his head and took his Master's shoulders gently, turning him around so he could face him. Obi-Wan's eyes went straight to the floor, though, and Anakin knew he had to speak up. He couldn't keep the questions bottled up anymore. "Obi-Wan, I…" he wanted to curse at his hesitation, but that wouldn't help his case. "You took me in your arms last night. You… cuddled me…"
"We were sleeping, Anakin. I can't control myself while I sleep." Obi-Wan replied on the defensive.
Anakin literally felt his heart break in two. "So you're saying it wasn't intentional?"
Obi-Wan looked at him and had to force the word out of his mouth. "Yes."
Anakin looked like he'd been gutted and Obi-Wan felt confusion run all over his body. Anakin was… hurt by his statement? That didn't make any sense! Obi-Wan had expected relief to flash over the young man's beautiful face. Relief that his old Master wasn't having some weird feelings for him, or something! Obi-Wan couldn't help but frown as he looked at Anakin who was obviously trying (and failing) to hide his pain.
When Anakin found his voice again, it shuddered. "So you don't… feel anything for… for me?" He asked, hesitant and lost.
Obi-Wan could not believe his ears. Anakin was openly asking him if he had feelings for him! Of course, he did! He had been having them for a long time, but the boy couldn't know that! Obviously, something happened to make his former Padawan feel like that. Obi-Wan had always known the younger man was the kind to need physical and emotional attachment in order to stay stable and he had always made sure to give it to him at the back of the Council, but this?! No, this was impossible. Something must have happened that was making Anakin desperate for affection, making him delusional. Obi-Wan discreetly shook his head and buried his feelings at the back of his mind. There was no way Anakin could have feelings for him like that. He couldn't afford to give in, express his feelings only to have Anakin push him away when he felt better.
Clearing his throat, Obi-Wan dared to look at Anakin again. "Anakin, the Code-"
"I don't care about the kriffing Code right now, Master. I just need to know." Anakin snapped back, his shoulders tensed.
Obi-Wan wanted to scold his former Padawan for brushing the Code away like he did, but decided not to comment. "Anakin, last night… Last night just wanted to offer you some comfort. I care about you and you know it: it hurt me to see you in pain like you were. But I live by the Jedi Code, Anakin. I can't afford to let myself have feelings of this kind. Even if I did have feelings, I… I couldn't. I'm sorry." He said, knowing that at least there was some truth in his statement. He felt bad for lying to Anakin about his feelings for him, but he did know that he couldn't get himself into a relationship. Not because the Code forbade it, but because he knew that the only person he would ever get in a relationship with was happy and married with Senator Amidala. Anakin might be hurting and needing some affection right now, but Obi-Wan knew better than admitting what his heart felt for just a phase the young man was going through.
Anakin lowered his eyes to the floor and sighed. What a fool he was. His Master was too good of a Jedi to even consider breaking the Code's rules and it was now obvious that the older man didn't feel anything for him. He felt tears prickle at his eyes but fought them back. Right now, he truly felt alone in the entire Galaxy. He could reach to his Master for comfort, but he knew that after this conversation the older man might be cautious about his actions when it came to affection. Slowly, he turned around. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you, Master. I'll go get some rest, now."
Obi-Wan's heart ached at he looked at his former Padawan walking away. "Sleep well, Padawan." He whispered, knowing the man probably couldn't hear him. Sighing heavily, he leaned his body against the wall and closed his eyes. If he didn't try to get rid of these feelings they would drive him crazy and he needed to be focused when they landed. Against his will, he grabbed his comlink and pressed a very familiar code on it, impatiently waiting for a reply.
"Yes General?" the voice answered.
"Cody," Obi-Wan acknowledged, "Come meet me in five minutes."
"Yes, sir."
Closing his communicator, the Commander gave a few orders to his companions around him before placing the higher ranked in charge as he excused himself. The clones didn't ask any questions as they saw their commander leave the cantina for whatever reason he was called for. They knew better than to question their brother's actions.
Cody knew the way to Obi-Wan's personal quarters almost by heart. Even though the Republic had more than several Cruiser at hand, they were all built exactly the same and Obi-Wan had that habit to always sleep in the exact same room.
Since it took him about seven minutes just to get there, Cody knew that the General was already behind the door he was facing when he got there. He also knew he didn't need to knock, that his General had always told him that he was more than welcomed in his quarters, but his programmed training forced him to gently knock on the metal door again. The door opened almost instantly.
Obi-Wan's room looked the same, as always. Rather small but bigger than the ones the troops shared, with a single bed on the left and a small desk on the other side. The Jedi Master was sitting on the thin mattress, his elbows on his knees and rubbing his forehead with one hand. Cody sighed discreetly. Seeing Obi-Wan sad was becoming more and more familiar to him.
"You summoned me, General?" Cody asked, silently asking permission to enter.
Obi-Wan lifted his gaze to look at his Commander. "Yes, Cody. Please, enter…"
When the Trooper entered the room and the door shut behind him, Obi-Wan got to his feet and gestured in the Force to lock it. There were no words needed. Cody placed his helmet on the side desk and gently pulled Obi-Wan in his arms, capturing the man's lips in a soft kiss.
Instantly, Obi-Wan groaned and wrapped his arms around Cody's shoulders. He felt his whole body shiver as his Commander removed his black gloves and his warm hands started to untie his leather belt, leaving it carelessly on the desk beside his helmet. Obi-Wan couldn't help a soft moan from escaping his lips as Cody slowly removed one side of his tunic and kissed, sucked and bit at the newly revealed soft skin. Force, it has been a long time since the last time they did this and Obi-Wan felt heat rise in his entire body as it started to shake with arousal.
They had to stop their ministration for a moment just to get Cody out of his imposing armor. When only the black under tunic remained, Obi-Wan didn't hesitate to step forward and remove the top part, his hands automatically falling on the Commander's hard, strong chest, his fingers marveling at the hard muscles it touched. He must know Cody's body by heart by now, but each time he saw him again it was like a whole new experience. The Jedi bit his lips softly as his hands trailed higher and he caught the Commander's head, begging for another kiss.
There was absolutely nothing romantic between the two men. Of course, they had always been good friends and they had gotten closer during the Clone Wars, going through all kinds of stresses and situations together. One night, during a conversation, while they were on patrol alone, they had discovered they shared the same desire for the same sex. That day, Cody and some troopers of his battalion had spared their day off looking at certain magazines showing off some pretty ladies. But as the other troopers all got excited about it, he didn't. He had shared his thoughts with the man he considered like his best friend and was more than delighted to know that he felt the same. After their patrol was over, Obi-Wan had brought him back to his tent and Cody had silently sent him to oblivion.
Even though they didn't do this often, they had discovered quite quickly that getting each other off like that was reducing their stress quite effectively. They only did it to keep a sane mind in those rough times of war and nothing else. Cody was also probably the only person in the whole galaxy who knew about his general's feelings for his former Padawan, so getting involved romantically was out of the question.
When he finished removing the top layers of Obi-Wan Jedi tunics, Cody pulled back from the rather feral kiss he was giving to him and gestured for the bed. "Lie down, Obi-Wan."
His cheeks reddened and his eyes slightly unfocused, Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Commander." It turned him on to reverse their roles, to have Cody command him instead. He quickly installed himself on his bed and closed his eyes, his body thrilling at the knowledge of what was coming.
Slowly, Cody removed his boots and climbed on top of his General, the space of the bed rather confining but large enough to fit them both. Cody licked his lips as he stared at the obvious bulge in the Jedi's leggings. When he pulled the garment down, he heard Obi-Wan letting out a sigh of relief as his hard member was released from its confinement. Cody could feel his own cock ache in his pants, but his turn would come later.
Obi-Wan hissed when he felt warm fingers wrap around him and started stroking slowly, way too slowly for his taste. He tried to thrust faster into the large hand, but Cody's other hand came to lie on his hips, keeping him from moving. Obi-Wan thought he was going to go mad. "More…" He choked his hand fisting the bed sheets.
Cody smirked. "I'm sorry, what?"
Obi-Wan laughed softly. So Cody wanted to play, huh? "Faster, please… Commander, please…"
A low chuckle rumbled in Cody's throat. "Now, that's better." He whispered as his hand started to pump faster on Obi-Wan's hard cock, making the smaller body under him wiggle and thrash.
When Obi-Wan felt warm lips close around him, he could not hold back a loud moan and thanked the Force for those sound proof walls.
Anakin couldn't sleep.
He had tried meditation, deep breathing, counting whompas, drinking water, everything. No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't get himself to think about anything else than Obi-Wan mixed with all the bottled feelings of his upcoming divorce with the woman he thought he had loved for so many years. Staring at the ceiling of his small bunker bed, he sighed angrily.
What a fool he was. Thinking, hoping that Obi-Wan might feel something for him. As he felt a small twist in his heart, he shifted on the small mattress so he could lie on his side and closed his eyes, trying to find some sort of peace. When Obi-Wan had spoken about the Code, Anakin had hoped that his Master would have at least admitted to some kind of feeling, a feeling the Jedi Code kept at bay. But Obi-Wan had made it clear that Jedi Code or not, he did not feel anything special for his former Padawan…
Anakin groaned, frustrated. He could specifically remember waking up cuddled close to his former Master and he could never forget how the man had kept him closer when he had tried to get away. He had even whispered his name in his sleep, and Obi-Wan was telling him that he couldn't control himself in slumber? That it was just a mere incident? If Anakin didn't know his Master better, he would suspect that the older man had been lying to his face.
Giving up on getting any sleep, Anakin swung his legs on the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes with his fingertips. His heart ached. He missed Padmé, he missed his mother, and he missed Obi-Wan already. It was like a fire in his heart had suddenly been extinguished. He had difficulties to cope with the idea of getting used to sleeping alone in his bed.
But as he got himself up with the goal to go beg the medical droid for some sleeping pills, he felt something… strong in the Force, taking him by surprise. Frowning, he stopped just before placing a step out of his personal quarters and reached in the Force, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on. It was coming from Obi-Wan, of that he was sure, but he couldn't place his finger on what it was exactly. It was a swirl of emotions, but his Master's mental shields kept Anakin from identifying them. A swirl of emotions coming from Obi-Wan couldn't be good, though. Not coming from a man who was usually so in control of them. Fearing for his former Master, Anakin decided to investigate. Grabbing his cloak to keep himself warm from the Cruiser's rather low temperature, he stormed off his quarters.
As for Obi-Wan, he was now laying beside Cody in the small space of his bunk bed, the small length of the mattress keeping the two men cuddling close, the Jedi's head cradled on the Trooper's large shoulder. Obi-Wan knew the gesture wasn't romantic. In fact, the only reason the two of them weren't back on their feet putting their clothes back on was probably because neither of them could actually move. Well, Obi-Wan knew he couldn't: Cody had always had this habit of giving him very powerful orgasms, leaving him limb and pleasantly exhausted.
It was all that it was with Cody though. Rough, hard, fast fucking until the two of them were satisfied enough. Obi-Wan knew he was probably a huge hypocrite for doing this while trying to teach his former Padawan notto give in, but at the same time, there was no significant attachment between him and his commander. Of course, he cared deeply for Cody and knew he would be affected greatly if the man would be killed in battle. But he also knew that Cody would want him to go on, no matter what happened to him. Obi-Wan thought the same: it was a bit of a silent agreement between them. The Jedi sighed. The hypocrisy lied in the fact that he did it with Cody to released the pent up desire of constantly being close to his former Padawan…
Cody looked down at him. "You seem a bit sorrowful, General. Are you alright?"
Obi-Wan scoffed and closed his eyes. Looks like it was back to 'General' again. "I'm fine, Cody. Thank you." He lied.
But the Trooper didn't seem at all convinced. "Is it because of General Skywalker again?"
Obi-Wan tried to hide the sudden blush that crawled on his cheeks by nuzzling Cody's strong, large neck. Cody knew him too well. "He came to me earlier asking if I had feelings for him. He's married, Cody…" Just the word pinched his heart hard enough to make him flinch and he backed up from the Trooper's embrace to look at him. "Was I supposed to say yes?" Another sigh while he placed his fingers on the Trooper's long scar across his right eye.
Cody gave him a side smile. "I wish I could answer that question, General but… I'm not programmed to feel that kind of feelings."
"You're not programmed to feel love Cody, but you are able to feel compassion which is, my friend, the best gift anyone can give."
Cody held his gaze. "Thank you, sir."
The two of them were just about to get out of bed to get dressed again when a sudden buzz startled them both. The door to Obi-Wan's quarters chimed rather hurriedly. The two men started at each other with wide eyes: a naked Jedi Master sitting on top of an also naked trooper was not the kind of show one wanted to see on the Cruiser. The walls were soundproofed, though. If there wasn't any response, whoever was standing on the other side of the door would eventually go away.
As they were about to let long sighs of relief, the door chimed again, longer, more insistent. Obi-Wan didn't flinch; he had locked the door earlier. He gave a slowly panicking Cody a reassuring look. If that person chimed again, he would have to answer to him later. Besides, the lock of the door was protected by a very specific code, and the only person in the entire Cruiser beside himself who knew it was-
Oh no.
The reassuring expression on the Jedi's face quickly changed to horror when he heard the buttons of the door pad being pressed in the exact way it needed to be to unlock the door. A quick glimpse in the Force was enough to confirm that the other person standing at the other side of the door was no more than his former Padawan. At the speed the younger Jedi was punching the digits on the door, there was absolutely no time for him or Cody to react. In a split of a second, the door was open, revealing their secret wide open.
Obi-Wan had expected anger from his former Padawan as the young man set his eyes on them. At most, he had expected him to turn away in disgust and close the door—Anakin had once told him he was the closest thing he had for a father, and the last thing you wanted to see was your supposed father figure bare ass on another very naked form. He had expected Anakin to yell in surprise or even make a very bad joke about the situation. But the thing he had certainly not expected was to see disappointment, even pure betrayal clouding Anakin's face.
He also didn't expect to see tears form in his former padawan's eyes as he bowed his head and left without saying a single word.
Completely stumped, Obi-Wan could do nothing more than stare at the closed door, his heart hammering and his eyes wide. The words slipped from his mouth before he had time to process them. "What in the black stars?!"
Still under him, Cody half sighed, half chuckled. "You know General, I think he might have been honest earlier, about his questions…"
Obi-Wan turned his head and looked at his Commander like he had spoken in a ridiculous language. "But it's… it's not- it's impossible…", he mumbled, trying to make sense of his former padawan's reaction. At a loss of words, he removed himself from Cody's hips and started pacing the small room, completely forgetting how naked he was. Some hope was starting to flourish deep in his heart, but he angrily pushed it back. Anakin was not emotionally stable and there was certainly a very specific reason why he had reacted this way. Yes, that was it…
Cody quickly joined him, grabbing his black under tunic and starting to dress as he tried to make eye contact with the nervous Jedi Master in front of him. "Either way, General, you'll have some explaining to do. No matter what his reaction might have been, you told me yourself that doing this was going against your Code."
Obi-Wan stopped pacing and sighed heavily. How in seven Sith Hells was he going to explain that to Anakin?
It was Commander Cody.
Anakin had wanted to know for so long. He had teased his Master, begged him to tell, analyzed him in every way, tried to figure out who was sharing his Master's bed. That previously unanswered question had occupied his mind for quite some time, going all the way back to the first time he had heard Obi-Wan in that tent on Boz Pity. But now that he knew, now that the person who was bringing his Master pleasure had a face, Anakin wished he had never known.
He fought down a sob as he walked back to his own quarters. Obi-Wan's words kept echoing in his mind: even if I had those feelings… I couldn't. I'm sorry. His heart broke in pieces. Obi-Wan had been lying to him. He had probably mentioned the Code as an excuse only to hide the fact that he already had a lover. Anakin couldn't help a long wave of jealousy take over his mind as he thought of Obi-Wan and Cody holding each other, kissing…
If he could have slammed the sliding door of the small bedroom, he would have. Instead, he simply sat on the chair provided with the desk beside it and tried to control his pain. Right now, he hated himself for the feelings he had for the man who had raised him. He hated himself for having all those feelings and for attaching himself way too easily to those who were close to him. He hated himself for not being able to follow the Code, for not being able to detach himself from all those emotions which were harassing him right now.
And he hated Obi-Wan with all his being for lying to his face like he did earlier.
When the door of the bedroom opened and he heard steps coming in, he didn't move. He knew who it was, just by listening to the calm walk. A walk he could recognize anywhere. He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath, trying to calm the rising anger slowly burning his heart away with betrayal, listening to whatever the older man had to say.
He could hear Obi-Wan hesitate. "Anakin, I…"
Suddenly, Anakin couldn't control himself and turned around, facing his former Master while slamming his fist on the hard metal desk, filling the room with a loud sound which made the older man jump. "You hypocrite!", he yelled, his voice filled with hate and betrayal as the words suddenly came out of his mouth like a waterfall, "How can you tell me you can't have feelings when you obviously have them for someone?! How can you spend the night with me, cuddle me like you did and then reject me only to go share a bed with another man minutes later?! How dare you, Obi-Wan?!"
Astonished, Obi-Wan stared at the angry man in front of him, his breath caught in his throat. "Reject you?", he asked, his voice barely audible, the words of his former Padawan obviously affecting him, "What do you mean, reject you?"
Anakin bit his lips and turned around, his back to Obi-Wan. "I… I don't want to talk about it."
"Anakin…", the older man started, clearly at a loss for words, "I recognise that I'm wrong and that I have been going against the Code but," he slowly walked behind the taller man and pressed a hand on his large shoulder, feeling the muscles tense under his touch, "I don't understand why you're so upset about it…"
When Anakin didn't say anything, it left Obi-Wan completely puzzled. He tried to get a glimpse of what was going on inside the other man's mind, but Anakin was shielding himself better than ever. He would have to figure out this one on his own and fast: there was no way they could begin their mission with Anakin swirling around negative emotions like he was doing right now.
"Please Anakin, tell me… You know I hate seeing you hurting…", he whispered, trying to at least comfort the man.
But the younger Jedi pushed away his comforting hand and refused to look at him. "You couldn't understand.", he grumbled, still staring at the wall in front of him.
"Then make me understand!", Obi-Wan replied impatiently, "We are a team, Anakin. No matter how wrong my actions are I still need you focused on this mission-"
Anakin scoffed loudly. "So you're only here because of the mission!"
"You know that's not what I meant, Anakin!"
A long silence installed itself in the room as both men didn't know what to do or say. Anakin was still facing away from his Master while the latter was trying to figure out a way to make the younger man talk. The air was heavy with pain, anger, betrayal and sorrow. It had been a long time since they had argued like this. Of course, there was always the small fights now and then, but not like this. It hurt them both very deeply.
It was after several minutes of quietness that Obi-Wan finally spoke. "What's going on with Padmé?"
Instantly, the older Jedi knew he had struck a nerve. The imposing posture in front of him seemed to crumble under its own weight as it turned around to face him, a puzzled yet pained expression on his face, "What do you mean?"
For the first time since he entered the room, Obi-Wan managed a smile. "I'm not stupid, Anakin," he began, his voice gone much softer, "I know you've been frequenting her, even that you two are married. I never said anything before because I know you're different and that taking this relationship away from you would destroy you." He stepped closer to the taller man, placing a gentle hand on his chest, "And I would never do something that would cause you pain."
But you just did, Anakin thought. He swallowed heavily as he felt tears drown his eyes, his mind powerless to stop them. Obi-Wan seemed taken aback by this sudden change of situation and raised a hand to pick up the drop of water rolling on his former padawan's cheek. "Talk to me, Anakin, please…"
The younger Jedi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "She wants to divorce, Master."
Obi-Wan's eyes went wide. "Oh dear, are you serious?" He could not believe it, the two of them were so in love! How was that possible? He had seen Padmé look at his former Padawan like he was some sort of Deity and he could also recall all the years he spent beside Anakin as the young man obsessed day after day after the beautiful Senator. When Anakin didn't add anything, he asked: "What happened?"
The second the question was out, Anakin's body shifted from one foot to another, clearly uncomfortable. He seemed to search his words for a moment. "She, um… She felt like my heart belonged to someone else."
Obi-Wan almost stumbled back. It was already painful to see Anakin's heart beating for one person and now there was someone else in the equation? "Does it?", he asked, almost hoping for a negative answer.
This time, Anakin took a moment to think. After seeing his former Master in bed with Cody, he kind of knew that his feelings for the Jedi Master were more than what he first thought. His heart was still beating furiously at the thoughts of the images he had seen earlier. Surprisingly, the more he thought about it, about Obi-Wan and Cody together, the more the lump in his throat was choking him and it was becoming difficult to control a sob that was desperate to come out. Trying to hide this attack of emotion affecting him, Anakin stared at the floor and tried to avoid looking at Obi-Wan. But as he trailed his eyes to the metal tiles under their feet, he realized just how close his body was standing next to Obi-Wan and could not suppress a shiver from running through his body.
When he felt warm, gentle fingers forcing him to look up and stare at his Master, he didn't resist. His eyes were met with two beautiful, concerned eyes and he could only realize in the dim light of his bedroom how Obi-Wan was absolutely gorgeous. Almost against his will, his mechanical hand rose and gave a gentle caress on the older man's cheek.
"Anakin…", Obi-Wan sighed as he leaned into the mechanical digits, eyes closed.
"Do you love him?" Anakin asked, his voice as soft as his Master's.
"What?"
Anakin retrieved his hand and stared into the two magnificent irises, but his voice was a little harder, seeking answers. "Do you love him, Commander Cody."
Obi-Wan sighed and lowered his eyes, feeling like a child being caught stealing candies at the local store. "Commander Cody is a good friend of mine who has been there for me when I needed it." He then looked up again, locking his gaze with his former Padawan's eyes, "There have been times when I was… weaker than I'd wish and Cody was there to help. Nothing more."
Anakin took a breath, understanding the truth under his Master's words; his relationship with Cody was nothing more than sexual. It brought some sort of relief knowing that Obi-Wan's heart wasn't beating for the man, but there was still something he needed to ask.
"Why didn't you come to me?"
Obi-Wan seemed confused by the question. "What do you mean?"
"When you needed support, why didn't you come to me?"
Obi-Wan almost laughed at the question, but there was a certain melancholy to his voice when he spoke. "Anakin, you already have someone in your heart. I'd never-"
Anakin shook his head at the man's words and before his Master even had the chance to finish Anakin was cradling his head gently and kissing him. At first, Obi-Wan felt completely stumped by the sudden gesture, but the second he truly realized what was happening, his body and soul gave up and he kissed back with all his will. Anakin Skywalker, the young, beautiful man who had been making his heart beat like a wild beast for the past years was kissing him. It didn't make any sense!
Noting his last thought, he pulled back, looking at Anakin like he was insane. "I don't understand! You have Padmé! She's the one you should be kissing, not me!"
Anakin put a gentle finger on his Master's mouth, shutting him up. "Padmé wants to divorce because she knew my heart was beating for someone else. For you. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I refused to recognize those feelings, they're here and they won't go away." He then took one of his Master's hand, placing it on his chest above his beating heart. "I love you, Obi-Wan. I have for a very long time and I can't deny my feelings anymore. They drive me crazy."
Obi-Wan was shaking his head, not believing what he was hearing. "The divorce is affecting you, Anakin. You can't mean what you're saying."
"If you don't love me back, just say it Obi-Wan…", the younger Jedi replied, his face falling apart.
Of course, I love you back you little clueless nerf-herder. Obi-Wan sighed lifted his right hand, caressing the back of Anakin's neck. "You know I love you, Anakin. More than anyone in this galaxy. Maybe even more than I'm ready to admit to myself."
Anakin looked at him, eyes filled with hope. Obi-Wan literally felt his heart melt.
"But right now, I don't know if I can do this. My feelings are there, but we would risk a lot by loving each other in the dark of the Order. Just… give me some time to think about all this, please?"
Anakin nodded, even if his heart was screaming. "I understand."
After agreeing that they both needed some sleep before getting out of hyperspace, Obi-Wan placed a gentle kiss on Anakin's cheek and left for his own quarters. When Anakin cried himself to sleep, he didn't know if it was from sadness or pure joy.