I woke up with a stiff neck. "Just what I need, great," I muttered sourly. I gingerly pull myself up and stride over to my closet. After a few minutes of just throwing stuff on, I go straight to the front door and out of the house. Eventually, as I drove the car my neck was better but my mind throbbed painfully. Once the car rolled up to the school, I let out a low groan weakly before stepping out.
For the first time in ages, I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I didn't think about any of the legal stuff or Tori- well, not by much- or Elizabeth actually. I completely forgot about her. All I worried over was my time spent with Peggy. All of our conversations were really about me and I never asked her much about her own life. Not once, and it soon became my greatest mistakes. One that was already done for years.
As my steps padded into the main hall, I realized that I was once of the first ones there. I walk right to my locker and opened it carefully, which was a first. My brows soon furrow once my eyes caught a glimpse of some things in my locker. My conscious immediately snapped awake once I picked up a note laying on... My journal.
Green eyes widened, shocked, and I flip the note looking for a name before reading it. There was none but my gaze slid over the words nevertheless.
I'm sorry for your loss,
I'm sorry for everything.
Water prickles my eyes gently as I look over my journal briefly before I placed it carefully in my bag. A few hours later in my third hour I would learn that nothing had changed in it. I quickly shoved it back into my bag once Elizabeth came into the room; I let out a groan that earned me some glares. As the lesson continued forth, I wasn't really chosen for anything which was a relief because I didn't really want to do anything. Just waste space I suppose. I remember that whole day vaguely, but I do clearly remember looking to my side -my left- and catch Tori taking a glimpse at me.
I frowned slightly as I turned away, pondering on the curious look given. Though it was soon forgotten once my mind thrown it away to make space for just buzzing nonsense. To pass the time I chose a floor panel to stare at instead of darting my glances around the room. A few minutes later, I heard my name being called.
"Jade. Jade. Jade. Jade."
"What," I growled weakly, an eyebrow raised at the speaker. Elizabeth just rolled her eyes and turned to Sikowitz.
"How am I going to do this skit with her again?" My legs straighten as I push myself up and stood before making my way onto the stage.
"You happy now?" I snapped before tapping my foot, annoyed. After directions were given, we both acted and I eventually won, whatever we were actually doing, and Elizabeth seemed to have stormed off but successfully made it look like just going back to Beck. I shook my head slightly as I watch them lock lips for a few seconds because they didn't need to do that. Well Elizabeth must have but Beck certainly didn't.
The bell called for dismissal a moment later and I just walked out to my locker, gathered my things and just left school. My car rolled into a parking lot and my steps made their way inside the coffee shop. The taste of the bitter drink doesn't faze me, like it really ever did, and I just down three before walking out with another in my hand.
I blinked and I was back home with a half empty cup of coffee. Strange but that's how I remembered it, honestly. My bed was soon found to be a really comfortable spot and luckily my mother wasn't home. I really didn't want to deal with her.
After a light doze I jerked myself away once I heard my phone ring. After a few seconds of clumsy fingers, shuffling through my bag and annoyed groaning I was able to find my phone. And then I answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Jade?" My heart skipped a beat; I hadn't heard that voice on the phone for years. In fact, I didn't know how he got my number. Nevertheless, I was happy for a few minutes.
"Dad?"
"Hey sweetie. Listen, I'm sorry about Peggy... I really am," he muttered hoarsely.
"Me too," I whisper, "So... what's going to happen now?"
"I'll go straight to Los Angeles for the weekend, how about that? We could spend some time together and, uh, just talk? I think we really need that." He coughed over the phone nervously before continuing, "So how have you been 'rebelling' recently?"
I gave a small chuckle before answering; he may not be around much but my dad certainly knew how I behaved. "Have a tattoo on my wrist, dyed my hair black-"
"Does it look good?"
"Yeah, I like it anyway. Erm, that's pretty much it actually." And that was it for a few more minutes, just a bit of catching up before he ended the call, needing to do something. Apparently he was on a short break and called for a few minutes. If he would have called me when I was acting normal, the call would have ended within two or three seconds, depending on how generous I had felt.
It was only a day or two before the weekend came and I was still harassed relentlessly by Elizabeth. Not much was done about the broken locker door, snarky comments and complete cocky shouts that would have shook my confidence had I been, for lack of a better word, sober. See, I was still in this faze, not necessarily denying the car accident, which the man did plead guilty so was hauled off to prison for a year or two for accidental manslaughter, but rather was occupied for the things I was guilty of.
The main sore was really when I realized that I didn't know much about Peggy. Not by a long shot. Either way, it degraded my thoughts and, when that grew tired and exhausted, I moved on to Tori. I felt as if my brain would collapse on itself just for trying to think about something else, which was extremely hard to do.
On Saturday morning, however, I was able to rest it as I drove to the airport, my dad not wanting to rent a car. For half an hour of so I drove on the highway until I parked the car in the parking garage. That day wasn't as busy as I thought it would be, considering the day of the week, and I made my way past one, three, seven, nine, eleven- "Why the hell does there half to be a Starbucks at every corner?" I grumbled to myself bitterly. Immediately I felt better, apparently.
Once I stood in an elevator, on an escalator, and walked some hundred steps, I found myself at gate 5-B. My feet swayed me back and forth as I looked for my dad, not really knowing what to expect since the last time I had seen him was a couple months prior. I've learned that a small amount of time can mean great change, a lesson I knew even before those past couple of months.
Eventually, in the mist of a huge crowd of people, I found a tall, leaner man strolling towards me, beaming. I stood frozen for a few seconds before my legs guided me over were I nearly squeezed the life out of the man. "Hey there sweetie, could you just- ermf- not make my sub sandwich come up. It was really good."
I gave a small laugh as I pulled away, only to be dragged into a bone crushing hug of my own. "Hey dad."
He smiled a bit before noting that we should get his luggage. Once we had, after a bit of a mix up, our paces went to my car. "Jade," my dad chuckled, "Next time someone accidentally takes my bag, don't scare their children when they argue that it's theirs."
"Why not?" I asked stubbornly.
"Because I might have to pay a fine." After our stomachs hurt from the second round of howling with laughter, the car was blanketed with a comfortable silence. It ended up stretching for a mile or so before he mumbled softly, "I remember driving this thing around when I first started living on my own."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I did make a few stains in the back."
"What back? It's a 1990 Ford Ranger, there's barely a back!"
"Oh I know," he sighed, " But the ladies didn't know that..."
"How many?"
"It was college and I don't know. I just remember my last one."
"Which was..."
"Your mother..."
"God dad, why did you give me a car that- damn it, that's not going to get out of my head now." I hear some more laughter beside me.
"You want the receipt? Get a new car?"
"Not now no, though one of the headlights keeps burning out and there's sometimes a noise that comes from the air conditioning," I murmur seriously.
"Is it the left headlight?"
"Yeah... And how do you know that?"
"I may be responsible for that." After he looked at my raised eyebrow, he briefly added, "Hey, I was in college. Stuff happens, but I'm not going to tell you until your 18."
"I'm practically 18."
"Right, when did you turn 17 again?"
"August 2nd..."
"You still have a bit to go," he grinned mischievously, "But now I'll tell you when your 21 because why not."
"Damn it dad, I wanted to know." We both share a smirk, and at that moment you can pair them together and know that he's my father. Naturally, we both have the same hair color and the same body proportions. Longer legs and shorter torsos. The thing is, I have a butt where he doesn't, if you get what I mean, and I also have boobs and he doesn't. I'm not going to get in detail with that because mine are kind of big and he doesn't seem fit to have them. Dang it, just got into some detail.
Another short silence clouds the car before he piped up again, "What's up Jade?"
Immediately I knew he meant other than my shared loss. Knowing that there was no way out of it, I muttered, "School."
"School meaning tests or school meaning people?"
"This damn bitch is ruining my life... I can't do anything about her because everything I do she spits back with a little extra force."
"I see," my dad nodded. From my silence he didn't push it further, instead asking unknowingly "So, you still dating Beck?"
"No, we broke up and the bitch had him all wrapped around her finger."
"I'm sorry. But, if you don't mind me asking, how come?"
"Tori," I muttered weakly.
"Vega?"
"Yeah... Dad, I was talking to her one day and, and everything went to shit. She just changed as soon as she saw Elizabeth walk through the doors. I miss her."
"I'm sorry sweetie. Do you like her?"
"No, I love her. How did you know?"
"Well, for one, your voice changed once you talked about her and you called her 'Tori' instead of 'Vega'." I nodded slightly before falling into another silence. This one lasted for quite a while. But from his kind words I smiled slightly, knowing that he would understand eventually, whether it be this weekend or in years to come.
-o0o-
That night I had dinner with my dad, which was nice considering that he wasn't yelling at my mother. He protected me when I was younger physically before he had to mentally and verbally once work consumed his life. I never really honestly held him poorly for his decision for working, but instead for not divorcing my mother entirely. Many assumptions were made as to why he didn't but the one I bet on was he simply had a big heart and didn't have the time to go through the long process. That, and it cost the money he tried to save up for.
For the long run though, I wanted him to cut my mother out of our lives. She was only a parasite that took and took but never gave. After the nice dinner, we went to the house where my dad slept in the guest room next to mine and away from my mother's, who didn't know he was here. The next day we went to a small funeral for Peggy, who ended up being cremated based on her will (she did take things into great thought), together.
I felt my father's hand and took it, embracing the warmth and softness of them. He never really worked outside, always indoors with words, papers, and other things like that. It didn't make him any less than a man, just a business one.
After the painful hour which I don't remember all that well to this day, the urn was placed gently in the guest house Peggy occupied. Once back in the kitchen, my mother off somewhere like usual, my dad heaved a mournful sigh before promising, "Jade. I think after this project I'll start working from home. Actually, I will start working from home. It won't pay as much as I have now but, I think it will be worth it in the long run."
I smiled before wrapping my arms around my dad lovingly, "I like that idea." My brows knit together before I added, "What about my mother?"
"We'll deal with her sometime later. Why don't we just watch some TV now, does that sound good?"
"Yeah," I murmured before heading to the couch. Soon Investigation Discovery was switched on and we were indulged in marriages going completely wrong. I mean very wrong. I liked it... until I reminded myself that all of these loyal people actually died. Then I became slightly depressed by it, which was a first from gory scenes.
For the rest of that day I felt as the mindless buzz drown out reality as I sat around in my room. My dad went off to do some errands while I eventually took a nap.