A/N: Sorry that this took me so long! School has been crazy lately, but I hope you like it.
She cried heavily, feeling exhaustion claim her body. She could hardly place where she was the pain was so intense. Her body convulsed, as she collapsed back against whatever was behind her. She vaguely remembered Isabelle sitting behind her, squeezing her hands, as she breathed encouragements in her ear.
"I can't do this." She sobbed, feeling her forehead get towel off. She collapsed against her friend, letting her muscles go slack, but they tensed back up when contraction shot through her.
"Yes, you can." The doctor encouraged. "Just a few more pushes!" She promised before ordering a few of the nurses around.
"No." She shook her head, feeling her insides tremble.
"Come on, Clary. Don't you want to meet your son?" Isabelle spoke softly, squeezing her hands tightly.
Clary went slack, as squeals entered the room. She panted heavily, running her fingers through her hair. She couldn't believe she was done. She saw the doctors take her baby, and panic set through her. "Where are they taking him?" She stammered, feeling herself quake.
"They are doing a quick check up, and then they will bring him back." Isabelle assured her before climbing out from behind her. They laid her son in her arms at last, and she couldn't believe he was in her arms. She sniffed heavily, feeling a different kind a tears stream down her cheeks.
"He's so beautiful." She put her forehead to his tiny head, breathing in his adorable sent. He was a little boy. She drew away slightly, seeing a head full of thick black hair. That silly wives tail was true. She couldn't believe it. She laughed quietly, stroking the babe's head, taking in every second she could. Jonathan squirmed in her arms a bit before settling against her once again.
She never wanted to put him down. He was her everything, and she was so glad that he was here. She ran her finger against the smooth skin of his cheek, which he leaned into. She cradled his body against her, holding him as if he were made of glass.
"Clary, is it ok if we take him for all of his checkups, so you can deliver the placenta." The doctor asked, standing next to her.
Clary didn't want to let him go, but she needed to get the placenta out of her body and her son needed to get looked at by the doctors. She nodded silently, handing him off to a nurse. Her body felt empty when he left her, which sent a pang to her heart.
OoOoO
A short while later, she was transferred to a private room, which had a fold out bed, a couple of comfy chairs, and a table. Her son was brought back into her, and she held onto him greedily. She had asked to have no visitors for a few hours, so that she could try to breast feed and get to spend quality time with her son before everything got a little crazy.
"You are so cute." She murmured to him, kissing his little hands. She couldn't believe that she made this beautiful creature in her womb.
The nurses explained how she needed to attempt breast feed, and to page them if she was having issues. Clary felt oddly nervous about the whole ordeal. It sounded a lot more complicated then she originally imaged. She adjusted into position, moving through the latching steps, as she tried to help him get her nipple in his mouth. She wrinkled her brow at the thought, feeling like that was a weird thing to do, but she did it anyways.
He latched on, and she tried to not whoop with excitement because she didn't want him to fall off, forcing her to start over. He didn't seem to be doing anything though, which was weird. She stroked his hair gently, cradling the babe against her.
"Ow!" She flinched heavily, seeing that he was beginning to feed. "Ow, ow, ow." She cringed, wondering if she was doing this right. She hit the call button, wincing heavily, as her baby mutilated her boob.
The nurse came in, and Clary described the feeling she was having, as they baby breast fed. "It is normal for a little pain. Can I get a closer look? He might have latched wrong, which is very possible." She explained, leaning over her. Clary leaned her head back, giving the nurse room to examine her. Clary had learned over the last day with the nurses and the doctors that she had zero privacy when it came to her breast and genitalia, which was extremely uncomfortable. "He isn't latching quite right." She hummed, maneuvering her breast around in the baby's mouth. "There we go. It will probably still hurt, but hopefully less. You can always buy guards later on once you get it down. It keeps the baby's mouth away from the skin, but still allows for him to get milk." Clary nodded in understanding, putting that on her to get list. "If you are having any other problems, you can meet with a lactation specialist."
"Ok, thanks." Clary sighed softly, still feeling twinges of pain.
OoOoO
Isabelle knocked on the door lightly, smiling faintly, as she stepped inside. "How are you doing, little man?" She snickered, kissing Jonathan's little head. "You asked for me?" She raised her eyebrows slightly, wondering what she wanted.
"I feel disgusting. Could you help me shower? I have to have someone with me, and I don't want some random nurse in there with me." She explained quietly, feeling a little awkward about her best friend seeing her naked.
"Are you sure you are comfortable with that?" She murmured, also appearing to feel awkward.
"All of my propriety went out the door when I spread my legs in a room with 20 people." She laughed faintly, pushing herself into a sitting positon to place Jonathan in bassinet. "Are you ok with that? I mean I can get some nurse, but they are so clinical." She sighed, pressing the call button. "Jace is coming by later, and I don't want to look like complete trash." She ran her hand through her knotted hair.
"Yeah, it's fine." Isabelle shrugged her shoulders, as Clary reached for her brush. "I mean you owe me so much, but I don't mind helping."
"Thank you for basically being my husband these past few months." She got to her feet, hugging her friend tightly.
"You would do the same for me." She returned the gesture, making Clary's eyes water. She wouldn't have survived without her best friend, and there was nothing she could ever to do to repay her the kindness she showed her. She went to Lamaze classes, ultrasounds, check-up, and witnessed the birth of her son. Clary knew that she was probably an inconvenience for her, but Isabelle never complained or ditched her.
"I would in a heartbeat." Clary released her, inhaling a small breath, as she tried to calm herself.
A nurse came into the room, relieving Clary of baby duty. They went into the bathroom, and Isabelle watched over Clary as she showered. After her shower, Isabelle brushed her hair carefully before putting her hair into a braid.
"How are things with Jace?" Isabelle asked, draping the braid over her shoulder.
"We are good. I think." She mumbled, inhaling a nervous breath. "We didn't really talk that much when I was in labor. I don't really know what that means." She shook her head, putting her hand to her face. "I felt like it was comfortable silence at the time, but what if he didn't talk because he doesn't want this anymore." She shook her head, groaning quietly.
"I don't think he would be visiting if he wasn't still interested with you." She rubbed her back, trying to assure her.
"Maybe." She muttered, still feeling like it was too good to be true. It's just so hard to believe he is going to stick around. He probably got scared while she was in labor, and he was going to wait until she was in recovery before dumping her. She couldn't blame him honestly. Who wanted to raise some other guys baby? Especially when the baby's father was a psychopath? She shook her head at herself, feeling like their relationship was now hanging on strings.
OoOoO
Alec and Jace came in a while later with broad grins on their faces, and Clary felt a little more overwhelmed then she would have expected. Isabelle smiled swearing up and down that Jonathan looks just like her, despite his hair color, which made Clary grin. "How can you even tell he's a baby?" Clary asked, adjusting him in her arms. All she could see was the black hair. It was beautiful hair, but she didn't know how he looked like either of his parents.
"I just can." She stated, brushing her index finger across his smooth cheek.
"Tonight Magnus is coming over and we are going to finish setting up the nursery stuff in the living room." Alec explained, which jogged Clary's memory of the fact that the apartment is totally unprepared for a baby.
"Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about all of that stuff. I am so sorry." She exclaimed, feeling her nerves grip at her once again. She didn't want to admit it out loud, but she was worried about going home. She liked the bubble she was in right now, and going home meant she had to leave that bubble. She would have to face that fact that Sebastian was still on trial and that she had to do all of this by herself. Alec would be there, but she is the one responsible for Jonathan, not Alec.
"It's ok. A lot has been going on lately." He assured her with a small smile.
"Yeah," She murmured, not wanting to think about her life outside these walls just yet.
OoOoO
Clary's eye fluttered open, and they found her way to the chair next to her. Jace was in the seat, holding Jonathan. She must have been exhausted because the last thing she remembered was that she was talking to Alec about where she wanted the crib. She must have fallen asleep mid-conversation. She wondered how long Jace had been waiting there for her to wake up.
"Hey there," He smiled, noticing that she was conscious once again.
"Hi, how long have I been asleep?" She questioned softly, rolling to her side.
It was then that Clary realized that she probably looked like a train wreck. She could feel her crazy hair, the dry sweat, and the uncomfortable diaper she had to wear. The diaper was the worst. She got to miss out on her period for 9 months, but then she has to blead for like a month afterwards. Jace looked perfect, as always, but he never seemed to mind what she looked like, which made her feel a little better about looking like crap.
"An hour. I'm glad you put me on the list to hold him before you fell asleep." He murmured, looking back down at the baby. "A nurse came in and helped me hold him correctly." He assured her, but she wasn't worried about that. She knew that he was a competent adult. "He's- he's amazing." He shook his head in awe, rocking the chair he was in back and forward.
"Yeah," She grinned sleepily, liking the image in front of her. She wished so much that Jace was her baby's father instead of Sebastian, but without Sebastian, Jonathan wouldn't exist and Jace probably wouldn't have been interested in her. She realized her fears from earlier were hormonal induced paranoia because Jace looked so happy to be holding her son.
"I just wanted you to know that I'm all in." He turned his eyes back to her, and she didn't quite understand what he meant.
"What?" She furrowed her brow slightly, not wanting to read into his words, not wanting to get her hopes up.
"You've been wanting to know what I want to be in your life and in his, and I want you two to be my everything." His deceleration made her eyes widen slightly, as his word settled in her heart. "I'm not proposing right now, but it is definitely coming. I love you, Clary, and I love your son, even though I just met him." He whispered, playing with the baby's small hand.
"Really?" She sniffed heavily, feeling tears form.
"Don't cry." He furrowed his brow sympathetically at her, wanting only to see her happy.
"I'm so hormonal right now." She sniffed, fanning at her hot face. "I cried when Alec handed me a stuffed animal, remember?" She laughed quietly, wiping her eyes.
"I don't want you to say it back unless you mean it." He broke his eyes away from hers, seeming hesitant about hearing her say it back.
"Jace, I-" she began speaking without really knowing what to say.
"Clary, I just- you said it yourself your emotional right now, and I don't want you to say it just because I did. I want you to take a few days and really think about it." He seemed mildly embarrassed, and Clary didn't really know how to react. Jace didn't get embarrassed, or if he was, he never acted like it.
"Ok." She nodded in understanding, snuggling back against the blankets.
"Do you want him back?" Jace asked about to get to his feet.
"No, no, you keep holding him." She smiled, knowing that Jace would be a great dad. She was so excited for what was to come. He practically proposed to her tonight, even though it wasn't official. He was committing himself to her for life, and it made her so happy. That dream she had not too long ago could come true, and she couldn't wait until that day came.
A/N: Hey guys we are getting super close to the ending I feel like it will be two to three more chapters. What are some things you guys want to see before the ending? I could use some ideas.