"I will talk to him." Meara said, petting Kailasa's silver hair. "If you still do not want to, go to Dorne. Captain Jones will take you there."

"I don't want to go to Dorne." Kailasa told her. "I just want Jon." And she did. She didn't even know how much she missed him until he was no longer around her every day. She wanted him beside her again. She wanted just to hear him talk, or feel his hands on her skin. Emma had been right, it struck her like lightning that she wanted Jon and no one else.

Meara sighed. "I don't know what I can do, Kai." She said honestly. "The contract has been signed and sent. You Westerosi love your contracts, and you're your father's property, so he gets to sell you even as he dies."

Kailasa almost growled. "I'm going to tell Robb. I'm going to tell him everything, and he will let me go. He's a good man. He won't force me."

"How do you know that?" Meara asked. "Have you ever rejected him before?"

Kailasa looked towards her sister in law. "No."

"Then I wish you luck. Men are not very good with rejection, most of the time they want to hurt you as much as you hurt them."

"Has my brother..?"

"No, never." Meara told her. "He's only being like this because he is the head of the family now. He will get better, and he will regret doing this to you. I can promise that. He's just under a lot of stress, and he wants you to have your own place in the world."

"I do have my own place." Kailasa told her. "At Silversheet. Why can I not be acting lord there? Why can I not choose who to marry?"

"I do not know." Meara said. "Because you're his little sister and he wants you cared for, perhaps."

"He's stupid."

Meara laughed quietly. "All men are stupid, that's why us women need to be around."

XXX

A burning longboat was sent out to see while a small crowd gathered around the shoreline in mourning clothes. The sun was just below the horizon

Kailasa held her youngest nephew, Kane in her arms. He was just a baby, and he pulled on Kailasa's silver hair with his tiny, chubby baby hands. She didn't mind. It didn't really hurt. The child in her arms looked exactly like his mother. She felt more comfortable with him in her arms.

Kailasa loved children. She loved every single one. When her nephews and niece saw her, they had reached for her as much as she had reached for them. It is a rare gift to be loved by children as much as you love them, and that was a gift that Kailasa had. A gift she may not be able to share with her own children.

The lords and ladies slowly left, and Kailasa left soon after them, only being stopped by her brother.

"The Starks will arrive in a week." He told her. "The wedding will take place soon after that."

"I do not want to marry him." Kailasa told her brother again. "I want Jon."

Callum just nodded before walking away from her.

"Here, give Kane to me." Meara said, taking the child from Kailasa. "Go for a swim, Kai, we both know it makes you feel better."

Kailasa nodded stoically. "Thank you."

"I'll have a servant bring you a towel." Meara smiled sadly. "Now go, no one will disturb you."

Kailasa walked towards a gate closest to shore. Just like at Silversheet, there was a private beach, but unlike silversheet, this one was man made. There was a stream that was deep, and only a few meters wide with stones lining the sides. It led out to open ocean, but there was an underwater gate that kept the bigger creatures out of these waters.

Kailasa swept her hair over her shoulder and put it in a loose braid and tied the end off with the leather strip she kept around her wrist. Then she began to strip off her clothes.

She slowly undid the black ties on the black dress, letting the tie drop onto the sand and then slowly let the dress slip off her. She took off her corset and small clothes until it was just her and the cool sea air.

She stepped into the water, letting it wash over her, and then she began to swim. The water felt good on her skin. This was the first time she had swam in a long time...perhaps even a year. She couldn't remember the last time she was in this pool of water.

She was eighteen in a month, and she knew Robb was eighteen a few days ago...Jon would be eighteen the week after her.

But Jon would come for her, wouldn't he? He promised her that he would always come for her...would he keep that promise? She had been promised a true marriage, and that was taken from her. If she married Robb, the promise of Silversheet would be taken from her. Her brother, who she used to see as her only ally, had betrayed her, and Meara seemed to do nothing to stop him. She was alone in the world she used to wish for; in the world she used to dream of.

She didn't want to be here anymore. This place had always caused her pain. Everything she had ever been given here was taken from her. She had a loving family, an overall democracy. She had a mother who loved her, and who would always protect her. She had a brother who would teach her how to fight. She had a father who cared what she wanted. She didn't have any of that anymore. Her parents were dead, and her loving brother had been taken by a tyrant who decided that he would rule her life the moment it was in his power.

"It is best for you." He said.

"You will have a good life in the North." He told her.

"You will be apart of two great houses instead of one." He stated.

Kailasa dipped her head in the water, and stayed below for a moment, trying to get the sound of her brother's voice out of her ears.

What would it be like to drown? She wondered. For a moment it had to be agony, but after it had to feel peaceful. Peaceful enough to drift forever.

But Kailasa didn't want to drown.

She brought her head above the water again, and breathed, the air felt like heaven after keeping her head underwater for so long.

She knew many people would think her stupid for wanting to refuse the match. She liked the man she was supposed to marry. She knew the man she was supposed to marry. That is a lot more than most women would get. Most women were told who they were going to marry, if they liked them or not.

Yet Kailasa would run away from this man if she had the chance to be with his brother.

So many people would hate her for what she wanted to do. The Starks, for one. Not all of them, but Lady Cat, Lord Ned, Robb, perhaps not Arya since she loved Jon very much. Sansa would probably be dancing in happiness if she found out that Kailasa wasn't marrying her true born brother.

Maybe she should just listen to her brother. Maybe she should marry Robb...Callum always did what was best for her in the past. Maybe it would be fine if she just gave in. If she would smile and say her words. Maybe Jon had changed his mind, or maybe he didn't love her enough to come after her. Robb was a good second choice, right? Even she doubted he wanted to be her second choice. The consolation prize.

It would be wrong of her if she married him. It would be right of her if she married him. There would be so many people hurt no matter what she did. She could be cast out from her brother if she refused Robb. She could hate herself if she married Robb. She had learned over her years what she wanted wasn't always right.

So should she follow her heart or her head?

Robb...he was great. He was perfect. The regular prince charming. He saw all the good in her. He was always comfortable with her. He always was playful, and even if he could be jealous, he was still always kind to her. He never said a word against her. He was perfect in an imperfect world. He never fought with her. He never confronted her about anything. He believed her, no matter what she said. He let her be her, and never tried to get her to share anything she wasn't willing to give.

Jon was the opposite. When they first met he was quiet and would only talk to her if she talked to him first, but he saw her. He saw her from the moment they met. He saw her, he didn't see the front she put up. He saw her pain, and he even questioned her on it, not because he wanted to hurt her in any way, but because he wanted to help her. He saw through her. He fought with her. He was honest with her. He wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for her.

While Robb was what some thought as perfect, she knew she needed someone to fight with her. Be the fire to her ice. Be the ice to her fire. She didn't need someone to be perfect; she needed someone to be perfect for her.

But a little voice in the back of her head kept wondering if Jon felt the same. Did he want her? Did he give up on her when Robb's marriage contract came? He had to know that she didn't know. She wouldn't be cruel and say she would marry him if she didn't mean it. She would marry him, if she got the chance. But how could she possibly know if she still had it?

Kailasa was scared, and confused, and in complete limbo. She knew she shouldn't make a move without knowing that it would happen. There was no use in ruining her life without knowing she would get what she wanted in the end. Who she wanted.

She knew Jon would be very unlikely to find her anywhere if she wasn't there. If she stayed here, he would come for her, wouldn't he? He would show up along with the Starks, and they could stop her wedding together. She just had to believe. She had to have faith.

She wasn't always the best at that, but she was best at following her heart.

A/N:

babiluv22: Here you go! I'm a little happy I made you cry, because then that means you care about the characters, and that's all I want :) Thank you for your review!

PurpliePanda: Really? I made you switch sides. I feel very happy right now. Her brother is a dick. I'm going to say right now that if they had today's technology she would have a 50-60 degree S curve, if you know what that means (not many do). Thank you for your review!

xxxRena: Thank you! Yes he is! Thank you for your review!

Please review!
Kat