Chapter 1
That day she wakes up, just as the sun is rising, from a dream that is actually a memory.
"Because you exist, Sarada."
The warm, fuzzy feelings provoked by that memory do not leave her as she rises from her bed and gets ready to go meet her team by the Hokage tower.
She runs downstairs, to the kitchen, to have a quick breakfast. Her mother is there, washing the dishes and humming contentedly.
Sakura Uchiha hums and sings a lot lately, which shows how happy she is. The reason of such happiness is definitely the presence of her husband, which has been stable for two years now. Sarada is happy to have him back, too, but in a slightly different way. Maybe it's different because he is her father, not the love of her life, and because she has been used to his absence for as long as she can remember, while her mother hasn't.
Sometimes, Sarada wonders if she will ever love someone like her mother loves her father. To her, that kind of love seems painful, but very beautiful. She certainly hopes she will.
"Good morning, Sarada!"
She smiles at her mother, calmed by the sight of her dazzling green eyes, her shoulder-length hair, her lovely smile. In a world where her Mama exists, Sarada knows nothing can ever go wrong. "Good morning, Mama. Where's Papa? Still asleep?"
"Not today," Sakura laughs. "He got up early to go meet with Naruto."
"Mama, why do you keep calling him that?" she asks amusedly, sitting at the small table in the middle of the kitchen. "He's the Hokage now, you know?"
Her mother's lips pull into a soft, nostalgic smile. "I just can't help it. He's still my dumb, loud, obnoxious teammate for me. He'll always be."
Sarada laughs and thinks that, if Boruto or Mizuki became Hokage one day - which they better not, because that is her future spot and no one else's! – they would probably still be her annoying teammates, no matter what, and for the rest of their lives.
Her mother offers her breakfast. She accepts with the condition of making it brief, for she has to meet her team in twenty minutes. Sakura leaves the dishes and starts to prepare a small meal: onigiris, Sarada's and her father's favorite. While she does that, Sarada voices a doubt.
"So why did Papa go meet with the Nanaidame? What does he even do lately, Mama? I've been hearing that things are super peaceful not just in Konoha, but in other neighbor villages. What things does he have to deal with if there are no actual threats anymore?"
"You know that's confidential stuff, Sarada," Sakura says, but mockingly, because she is echoing what her father always tells her when she asks about his missions. Both of them giggle, and then Sakura says, "To be honest, honey, I'm not quite sure. Lately, he's been dealing with simple international affairs. He's a sort of ambassador, you see, so that's why he travels sometimes, but only for a couple of days. He's also been investigating more about out clan."
"Still?" Sarada questions, amazed, because from what she has heard from him, he already investigated plenty. What other secrets can this clan, of which he was the sole survivor before she was born, have?
"New things always come up. The clan's history... well. You know. It's troubled." Sarada nods, briefly remembering names like Madara and Obito and Itachi, and her mother continues. "Anyway, that's what he's been doing. Today, though, I don't know what Naru – I mean, the Nanaidame wanted to discuss with him. Those two are always dealing with their own stuff, without telling anyone else. Trust me, I've known this for more than twenty years now."
Her doubt as resolved as it can be, the conversation shifts to other topics until breakfast is ready. Sarada eats quickly, listening as her mother babbles about her medic pupils, and when she's done, she thanks her with a kiss on the cheek and then runs off to meet her team.
Boruto has changed a lot since that time, two years ago, when the village got attacked and he, along with her father and the other Hokage, went to rescue the Nanaidame. He is way more mature than before, and less cocky, less obnoxious. She tolerates him better this way. This also has to do with what he said that one time about not wanting to be Hokage, but to protect her when she is instead. It really warmed her heart to see how certain he was that she would reach her goal, and how willing he was to stand by her side in the future. Ever since that time, she sees him in a different light.
And it's sort of bothersome at times.
"Sarada! Look out!"
Startled out of her thoughts, she turns just in time to see the wild raccoon jumping towards her. She shields her face with one arm and, with the other, she pulls out a couple of shuriken and throws it at the animal right when it is merely two feet from her. The shuriken do not touch it – just as she planned; she likes animals, even if they're rabid, and doesn't want to hurt any – but they manage to scare the raccoon into changing the direction of its flight and, instead, crashing against a nearby tree with a loud thud and a brief squeal.
Face contorted in anger – an anger directed at herself for getting easily distracted with her own useless thoughts –, Sarada lands swiftly on the ground and runs to see how the animal is. It seems to have hurt itself; it's trembling against the base of the tree and holding one of its paws, probably broken or fractured. Her eyes soften with pity and slight remorse just as she hears her teammates and her sensei land behind her.
"Well," Konohamaru-sensei says as he slowly approaches the creature and wraps a safety blanket around it, "you immobilized it. Good job, Sarada. You finished the mission. Just pay more attention. Just because you're a chunnin now doesn't mean you can lower your guard."
"Sorry, sensei," she mutters ashamedly. She hates not doing things as easy as capturing an animal perfectly, despite her recent new rank. If only she hadn't been thinking about stupid Boruto...
"Is it too hurt, sensei?" Mitsuki asks at her right.
Konohamaru-sensei peeks into the trembling blanket. "I think it hurt its paw. I hope it's not too bad. We'll see in a few minutes, I guess."
A hand pats her shoulder gently and she hears said annoying blond say at her left, "Don't worry, Sarada. I'm sure it'll be alright. Let's just get it to the vet, so they can also cure his rabies."
He knows she is concerned about having hurting the animal. It's like he can read her mind – like he is meant to be her right-hand man one day; her shield and sword; her... closest friend? No, no thank you. She doesn't want him like that. He is a good teammate and all, but at least now, she doesn't want to depend on him, to need him, to like him. Damn Boruto.
Can their connection be related to the fact that their fathers are reincarnated brothers, or something like that? Is Boruto sort of like his reincarnated cousin, therefore? Well, she doesn't want a stupid prodigy cousin to protect her and be so nice to her. She can do well on her own.
"Hmph." Briskly, she shakes his hand off her and proceeds to lead the way towards the veterinary. "Let's just go."
She gets home a few hours later, tired, annoyed, and hungry. Barefoot, she walks into the house – their second one, after Mama destroyed the first in a fit of anger. All lights are off, but the rooms are bathed in the hazy, orange light of the sunset.
"I'm home," she calls out, but nobody answers. She frowns in confusion, and then remembers Mama is at the hospital until late today, because a new crowd of soon-to-be medic nins is getting tested by her tonight. She smiles a little as she imagines how nervous those kids, barely a couple of years younger than her perhaps, must be feeling right now at the prospect of being about to be tested by the best medic in not just in the village, but probably in the entire world. Even Sarada, her own daughter, feels kind of nervous when Mama teaches her something. Uchiha Sakura, when it comes to her abilities and powers, is intimidatingly talented.
Mama is certainly not home, but what about Papa? He must be back already. His reunion with the Nanaidame could not have lasted all day, unless he had to leave the village suddenly and is coming back another day. In that case, is there something wrong? Is there a new threat to the village? She remembers those guys that attacked them a couple of years ago, those guys with that incredible power, and her knees get weak again. She had fallen to the ground in both amazement and fear that time, because she realized the type of power she had to be able to fight if she wanted to be Hokage one day. She just couldn't picture herself as strong as, or stronger than, those people, and that frightened her.
Sarada walks to the kitchen and checks for any note from Mama telling her that Papa won't be back early today either, but there is none. Mama always makes sure to do that, to never leave Sarada in the dark of what Papa is doing anymore, so that must mean Papa is either coming back soon or already home.
"Papa?" she calls out, not really expecting to hear a reply, but she does.
"I'm in the study, Sarada."
Hearing his voice, sensing his presence, still manages to thrill her. After spending most of her life coming home to one parent only, having another parent waiting for her at home fills her with a quiet, childish joy. Smiling, she runs towards the study upstairs, that small room filled with Papa's books and weapons, and other ancient things from her ancestors that she doesn't quite recognize.
She finds Papa sitting at his desk with several sheets sprawled before him. But he isn't reading them; he is looking at her, one corner of his lips pulled slightly upwards in a welcoming gesture. "How did your mission go?"
She puts on her cocky facade on, the one she likes to wear when she tells him about her accomplishments in hopes she will seem good enough to make him super proud. "It was a dumb D-ranked mission. We caught the raccoon easily – or rather, I did; I managed to immobilize it. It, um, it hurt itself, though, when I caught him... But it's okay! We took it to the vet and they said it just had a splinter on its paw. They also cured its rabies. It's one happy, healthy raccoon now!"
The small smile on his face twitches and he lets out a soft snort. "Well done, Sarada."
Oh, how she loves to hear those words.
It is rarely that she and her father have some actual alone time. She does see him every day and all, but most of the times, Mama is around. It is different when she isn't. It's rather uncomfortable, in fact, because Sarada feels pressured to show Papa that she is a good daughter, a good ninja, a good Uchiha. ThWhen they're alone together, she tries to make the best of it; she tells him about her success, her aspirations, her doubts about the shinobi world. He listens to her, talks little, but what matters is that he is there; he is staying.
Eagerly, she sits on the edge of the desk and tries not to glance at the sheets on it. She knows Papa doesn't like it when she sneaks into adult business, even if she's already thirteen and, in her opinion, mature enough to understand. She even – kind of – understands now why he had to be away for so long. She knows all about the war, and Kaguya, and Madara. She's a big girl, she deserves to know things, but she respects Papa too much to defy him in these matters.
"What about you, Papa? How was your day?"
He grabs the papers and puts them away, into a drawer, which lets her know they have something to do with his reunion with the Nanaidame. Once, just once, she glances at them, but they are gone too soon to even read a word on them. "Busy," he answers calmly, before rising to his feet. "And rather boring."
"Still not used to being in the village instead of traveling around the world, huh?"
He chuckles and pats her head gently. "I guess not. Are you hungry?"
"Very much!"
"Then let's go cook something nice."
The evening is lovely because she spends it by her father's side: cooking, talking, and listening. Papa is acting nicer than usual, and instead of suspecting, Sarada is grateful. Maybe he is doing it because he knows she had a rather bad day. Her day has ended up being not so bad because of that. So when Mama finally gets home, Sarada is in a good mood, totally different from the one she came home in.
"Well, something smells delicious!" Mama exclaims happily as she enters the kitchen to find father and daughter setting the table. "What is this? What are we celebrating?"
"Nothing, Mama," Sarada replies, taking her over-sized apron off. "We just felt like cooking tonight."
They eat in a silence pleasantly filled with Mama's blabbering about her pupils. She is ecstatic because most of them passed the test and seem to be naturally talented. It gives her lots of hope for the future generations. She and Papa are always talking about the future generations. They seem obsessed with the future itself. Sarada thinks it's because their past was very messy, and they just want the best for others. They don't want today's children to suffer like they did when they were children. They don't want her to suffer like they did. And she won't. She knows that they have made sure of it.
When they finish eating, Sarada cleans the table. Mama and Papa tell her they will do the dishes, so she should go take a shower and get ready for bed. It sort of annoys her that they order her around like she is a child, but she also sort of likes it. She spent her actual childhood with just Mama ordering her around, after all; having Papa doing it too is somehow nice. Also, she knows her parents just want some alone time – as if they didn't have enough. But well, they did spent many years away from each other, even though Sarada suspects they did meet occasionally. She couldn't imagine being able to stand not seeing your husband or wife for so long. Just imagining how it is for them to finally see each other everyday again makes her blush and really, really want to leave them alone.
Sarada goes take her shower and put pajamas on. When she goes back downstairs, just to say good night to her parents, she expects to find them on the couch, cuddling or something. But when she goes into the living room, they aren't there. Also, all the lights are off – all except those of the kitchen. They must be there still. Could doing the dishes really take them so long?
When she enters the kitchen, she sees all the dishes clean, and her parents standing in a corner, Mama against the wall and Papa facing her, and – something is off. She knows it immediately, even without seeing their faces. She can sense it in the air. Dread makes her stomach drops, but she forces herself to speak. "Mama? Papa?"
Papa turns around slowly. His dark eyes are glassy and his lips are set in a stern line. Mama steps around him and walks towards Sarada. Her green eyes are bloodshot and her smile is broken. Sarada gets it then.
"You're leaving." She's looking right at her father, ignoring her mother as she kneels before her. "Papa, you... you're leaving?"
"Sarada," Mama says, holding her forearms; it sounds almost like a pleading. "Darling, look at me."
But she can't. Her eyes are drawn to her father's, as if their kekkei genkai bounded them. She thinks about his reunion with the Nanaidame, about the papers on his desk, about his unusually nice attitude, about the day they reunited after not seeing him for years. Is it happening again? Is he going to be away for another decade? Will she not remember him again? Were these two years he spent with them meaningless?
You were not good enough to make him want to stay.
Deep down, Sarada is still angry, so angry. She says she understands why he had to be gone for so long, but she just pretends. She doesn't really understand. It's just too hard, too unconceivable. He never visited her. He never took breaks. He wanted to do all the job himself, even if it meant not seeing his only child for so many years. He cared more about the village than about his own family. No one can be that selfless. Maybe he simply never cared about them enough. Maybe they were not – they are not – as important to him as he and Mama claim. Maybe their love is not enough. Why else would he be about to leave again now?
"Sarada," he says, eyes softening, as if he could read her mind – like Boruto. Maybe he has been teaching him that; after all, he teaches that guy more than he teaches his own daughter.
He really doesn't care about you, see?
"How dare you," she utters, the words charged with so much venom that it startles her.
"There is another threat out there," Mama says quickly, desperate to clarify this, "and it is very probable that is related to Kaguya. Only your father can deal with it if it is. He has to go. You know-"
"How dare you," she interrupts, finally looking at her mother. "How can you be okay with this? Stop trying to justify him. It's not okay! It's not fair!"
"Sarada-"
"You never even apologized," she tells her father, shaking her mother's hands off and stalking towards him. "You never actually explained things to me yourself. You never cared. I had to go and find you and demand answers from you. And even after you came back, Mama did all the explaining. Mama had to do everything, as always. You just leave it all to her and you pretend to be a martyr in order to get rid of me."
"Sara-"
"No! Shut up! You're a terrible father! You never wanted a child; you never wanted a family! If you did, you would have never left – not back then, and not now again!"
Eyes stinging with tears and with the Sharingan, awakened by this turmoil of emotions, Sarada spins around and runs out of the kitchen. She goes upstairs to her bedroom, locks the door, and hides beneath the covers. There, she allows herself to cry freely. Her sobs shake her body violently and she can barely breathe. The ache in her heart is tortuous. She wishes she could be stronger than this. She wishes she were indifferent to all this.
She wishes she didn't love her father so much.
She fears that she loves him so much.