Chapter 9

Bella's POV

"Yes mom… It's me…" I said without any hint of sarcasm.

"Bella, are you alright?! I saw you on the news! The news!" she exclaimed still frantic but beginning to lose her breath.

"Mom, I'm fine, well- physically anyway. Calm down," I replied. She took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you call me back?" she asked her tone becoming more serious.

"I'm sorry but everything's just been plain crazy here. Overwhelming," I explained. Renée paused.

"I'm coming to Forks. I'll get a flight tomorrow to Port Angeles and-" she began before I interrupted her.

"No Mom, don't. Stay there with Phil in Jacksonville. Don't waste your money on me," I begged.

"Look Bella, you might say you're fine but I'm your mother and I can hear it in your voice. You sound awful. I'm coming and that's final," she said sternly. It was unlike Renée to be actually sounding like a mother for once.

"I really don't think it would be a good idea if you came here. I mean everything here changes by the second. I don't know what's going on. It could be dangerous for you," I responded truthfully.

"Is this because of Edward?" she asked. I didn't reply. There was silence between us for a few moments.

"Is it really true?… about Edward I mean," she inquired. No hint of anger or panic in her voice. Just worried curiosity.

"Yes…" I replied with a slight edge to my voice. "Yes, it is."

"Oh Bella… I'm sorry," she said as if she was sympathising at a funeral. Once again I didn't respond.

"It must be hard on you finding this out and that's one of the reasons I want to go to Forks: to be there for you. I know how much you used to love him," she pondered.

"Hold on a second mom," I said as an offended anger raged trough me and my voice. "I've always known about Edward and I still love him!"

"Wait you knew? You always knew?" she questioned incredulous.

"Yes, and it doesn't matter. If he had ten eyes and webbed feet I'd still love him. I don't love him because he's a vampire. I love him because he's kind, gracious, intelligent and to be quite honest because for some crazy reason he loves me back," I responded perhaps a little too harshly. Why did everyone seem to think I'd just found out about him.

"I know, but how could you risk your life for a vampire? I've seen the TV and papers. They're… monsters."

"Edward's different, Mom. He doesn't drink human blood, only animals. No one in his family kill humans either," I explained trying everything I had to convince her. Renée's tone once again became stern.

"But you're saying it's too dangerous for me to go to Forks, then you tell me you're okay with the fact your boyfriend's a vampire. I thought you were more responsible than this Bella. When Edward left and you took him back without a second thought I let that slide and I knew how much- even after all those months- you still cared for him but it I was scared he would just hurt you again and-"

"Mom, please, I don't want to talk about this and anyway you met him… Edward is not a monster," I retorted.

"I'm sorry but I'm disappointed in you Bella," she replied.

My jaw literally dropped. My emotions were in total flux, absolutely chaotic. I hated fighting with Renée and that's probably why our fights are so rare. I loved my mom but I wish she was more open-minded about this. Like Charlie even, but he seemed to have lost the plot all together.

I was overflowing with loss, pain and guilt but anger seemed to take over and I acted on impulse.

"Well if that's how you feel you're not welcome to come to Forks. Not now, not ever!" I screamed as I forcefully hung up on Renée and threw it on the table.

Suddenly the anger passed. I slumped in my chair, whimpering with my head in my hands. I cannot believe I just talked to her like that, then again I can't believe she just talked to me like that. I felt like I was falling apart, chipping away piece by piece. I prayed for the tears to come once more but I wasn't granted the solace I needed.

I let out a few deep breaths and fixed myself as I stood up. I grabbed a hair bobble out of my pocket and pulled my matted knotty hair into a bun. I wiped away the cold sweat from my face. I needed a shower bad. I felt like I was just bet up in a boxing match. It took me a second to steady my feet. I headed into the sitting room and quickly turned off the TV. It was repeating Victoria's interview and that was the last thing I wanted to see.

I piled up the pizza boxes in my arms and brought them into the kitchen, shoving them into the bin. What I was doing might have seemed trivial but the cleaning was helping me get my mind off things. I re-entered the sitting room to bring all the dirty glasses and plates to the kitchen sink. I dropped the cold and no doubt rock hard leftover pizza into the bin and stacked the plates and things into the sink as it filled with warm water full of Fairy Liquid's familiar suds.

I picked up the cloth and began scrubbing the plates in a rhythmic motion. Though it did relax me a little, even doing something with my hands couldn't distract me from what was really going on. I frowned and leaned over to the window. I lifted the curtain slightly. All the paparazzi were still out there.

I suddenly became nervous thinking about the next time I would have to leave the house as the paparazzi didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. But that got me thinking. The next time I would leave the house would be when I went to visit Edward. A smile broke my grimace as I pulled away from the window and went back to washing the dishes. I would actually get to see Edward.

I instantly felt guilty for smiling and my smirk quickly dissolved. I didn't deserve this new found hope.

"Bells?" Charlie asked.

I jumped, dropping the plate that I had repeatedly been washing the past five minutes into the sink. He gave me a fright, breaking me from my reverie. I looked to him and he was stood by the kitchen table, holding his hammer in his hand.

"Bella, you should let me do that. You've had a long day. I'd understand if you just went back to bed," he said as he took the cloth out of my hands. I just nodded and robotically left the sink and found myself a the bottom of the stairs. I turned to see Charlie already starting at the dishes.

"Dad… Thank you… For everything," I said shyly. Like me, he just nodded but for a different reason. Charlie hated all this sentimental stuff. I forced a lame half smile and continued my journey up to my room.

I drifted up the stairs and into my room. It was a bit of a clutter, some clothes, my boots, my bed side lamp and my smashed alarm clock were tossed all over my floor. I didn't feel tired but it was the right decision to come up here and spend sometime by myself.

I picked up all the clothes off of the floor and placed them in the washing basket. I threw my boots under my bed and fixed my lamp on my night stand. Thankfully Charlie had got rid of all the broken glass. Last but not least I threw away the unsalvageable alarm clock. As I put the pieces in the bin a wave of guilt washed over me. I should have never thrown this at Charlie, especially now that he's going to bring me to Seattle tomorrow. I wish Edward was here to tell me what he was thinking. Charlie has been acting so strange. First he hates the Cullens, thinks they're the worst vampires ever and then he's helping me to see Edward. It makes no sense. Maybe I should ask him about it. Then again, I don't think I have the courage to.

I decided to leave my shower for the morning so that I would have a fresh start and look somewhat presentable for Edward. Though I was looking forward to seeing Edward, I wasn't looking forward to telling him about Alice. A dry sob escaped my lips. Just the thought of her made my heart break.

I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I just left on the baggy white t-shirt I had on after I threw my tracksuit bottoms in the washing basket. I didn't feel like changing and it wasn't like Edward was coming tonight anyway. I was sat on my bed when I heard someone knock on the door.

"Come in!" I yelled as I pulled my blanket over my bare legs.

"Sorry, but I just wanted to tell you we'll be leaving at around nine tomorrow. Is that okay?" Charlie asked as he lingered in the doorway.

"Yeah that's fine, thanks," I replied simply yet awkwardly as Charlie nodded in response. Then it was like he was fighting with himself as to whether he would say something or not. It quickly passed. As he turned and began to close the door behind him he quickly turned back.

"Bella about Alice… I'm so sorry. I know how close you two were… If you need to ummm… Talk or anything-" he said brokenly.

"It's alright dad. I'm fine," I lied. "Thank you again."

"Right… Night Bells," Charlie sighed. He switched off the light on his way out.

"Night!" I called after him. I made myself comfortable under the covers and turned on my side. I knew I was in for a long sleepless night. I stared at my newly boarded up window. I wondered how long it would take for it to be replaced. I should thank Charlie for using the sheets of wood I recognised from out back. I was also glad I was on the second storey as it was less of a chance any of the paparazzi will see anything.

I groaned as I flipped to my other side. I would have to call Renée tomorrow and apologise for the way I acted. Though I'm still upset about some of the things she said, I know she only wants what she thinks is best for me.

As the night dragged and the time passed, I heard Charlie as he showered and went to bed. I listened to the inaudible mumbles of the filthy photographers outside, all the while begging for tears. It was like I myself was a vampire as the tears just wouldn't come. Though I felt like every inch of my body was ripped apart and I was completely emotionally drained by my unreleased agony. I guess not being able to vent and release anything was really my penance.

My sleepless and tearless night continued to pass. It was only made bearable with the hope that I was going to see Edward today as the first signs of sunrise cracked through my boarded up window.

As the night went on it began to quieten outside but once the light began to return the buzz of paparazzi came along with it.

I was tossing and turning all night long. Thankfully I got some sleep during the day because I would get none tonight. Any time I spent in my bed I was muffling my tearless cries into my pillow so Charlie wouldn't hear my torturous pain.

I looked at my watch. It was 6am. I decided to give up and have a shower. I knew it was early but I could spend as much time I wanted in the shower in hopes it would thaw my numbness.

It didn't work. The warm water trickled down my head and back. Though I will admit it soothed my muscles slightly. I was still a drained, empty, emotionless rock.

I spent far to long in the shower. I probably used all the hot water up on Charlie. My fingers were swelled and wrinkly.

I got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around me and headed to my room. I decided I would let my hair dry naturally as it was still a while before we left for Seattle. I walked over to my wardrobe to find something acceptable to wear. What do you even wear visiting your incarcerated boyfriend?

I pulled the wardrobe door back and sobbed. My hand trembled as I went to pick up a blue shopping bag. I stared at the at the neat writing.

Bella,

Just because I'm in Italy doesn't mean you can't dress properly.

Love Alice xxx

I never thought I would miss Alice's antics more than I did at this very moment. I took every second I had with her for granted. Along with Jacob she was one of my two best friends. There was no other way to describe her: she was my sister. I was dreading having to tell Edward about her as he too loved her with all his heart.

I placed the bag on my desk. There was no way I was throwing this bag away, not now. I went back and rummaged through my wardrobe and found a pair of Levis and a blue blouse, both given to me by Alice.

As I pulled on the clothes I let myself think of her and our times together. Some good times, some bad but I was glad I finally allowed myself to think about her. Though it stung incredibly when I did. I laughed at the countless number of times she dragged me around shopping for expensive and unnecessary things. That time she threatened to only hunt cute kittens from now on until I wore those ballet pumps to school one day. I missed her craziness fiercely but what I missed most was the love, kindness, loyalty, generosity and simply the friendship she showed me in the all to short time I known her.

I pulled on a navy zippy hoodie and left it open to show the blouse Alice got for me. I also knew Edward liked this one and after all this day was about me visiting him. I stuck on a pair of plain black flats as I descended the stairs. It wasn't until I reached the kitchen and saw the bread on the table that my stomach grumbled in excitement. I made two slices of toast and as I nibbled away I clung hard onto the hope that I would be seeing Edward today so that I wouldn't break down again. It has already taken so much for me to leave my room and come down stairs.

I stared off into space thinking about this entire situation but I was soon joined my Charlie pottering around the kitchen. He groaned when he laid eyes on the broken counter left behind from Emmett as he began to make himself some porridge. There was silence between us until Charlie tried to break it with unwanted small talk.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked taking in a spoon of his breakfast as he sat across from me.

"A little bit, yeah," I lied as I cleaned up after myself.

The silence returned but this time it was awkward. He should have just left things the way they were. He finished his breakfast and we got ready to leave.

"We'll take my cruiser," Charlie said as we were about to leave. That was fine with me as Charlie was going to be the one who drove and he obviously didn't want to use my truck.

"Just be careful and ignore those camera men when we go outside," he warned.

I had almost forgot about the paparazzi who would be waiting for us. We were literally lambs headed for the slaughter but it was the only way to Charlie's car. Charlie left the house first and I followed behind him. I held my breath as I put my first foot outside the door. Charlie began to lock up the door behind me.

That's when the jungle exploded. There was countless flashes from the countless number of cameras. It was disorientating, almost blinding. They were screaming my name along with the odd obscenity. It was vulgar. They wanted me to say and do things. I just stared at my feet as I headed for Charlie's car. I wanted the tears to come again but they didn't. I hated this feeling. It was practically claustrophobic. I needed out and fast.

Charlie seemed to be hating the attention as much as me as he tried to open his squad car as fast as possible. As soon as its door were unlocked we practically jumped in to save our lives.

As Charlie began to drive away the paparazzi and camera crews began to become problematic. They stood in the way of the car and even banged on its sides and windows. I prayed for this hell to finish. I heard Charlie swear a number of times under his breath.

We finally made it free from the crowd and we rushed to the outskirts of Forks where I finally could breath.

The panic faded and excitement rose as a saw the sign: Seattle 132 miles