Beta: Jade Celandine
Check out the previous chapter, I've done some changes to it.
CHAPTER TWO: "A SHIELD-MAIDEN" or "THE BIRTH OF THE TRUTH"
More than enough time passed for me to get used to the mystery of my existence here. And I did. Mostly. What I was not used to doing was having to think and do things for myself since in my first life I just tended to do as others told me to instead of being my own person and doing what I thought was what I wanted. That all changed here because I was given freedom to choose but with it came more responsibilities. Now I just had to wait and see how I could make my life worth living as Tatia Petrovasdottir without committing too many grievous mistakes and I say that from experience.
I want to be able to fight my own fights, to not let anyone step on me but most of all I want to be someone of importance unlike before. That may sound self-centered but I truly believe I deserve that.
It was a late summer afternoon when I came upon the sight of some small number of women getting ready to fight; to defend our village against other pillagers, there had been some sightings of warriors not from around the area. They were the few women who chose the path of war above the semi-domestic life that females usually have no choice but to go after. They, who would fight with all they have to survive and defend their homes even with the others' scorn above their heads, with the other woman's jealousy towards them since only few were given the chance to become one. Not many of the girls' families would let them since that specific path can lead to the lessening of prospective beaus for them.
Each one of the woman were a skjaldmær, a shieldmaiden. 'I have found the answer to my prayers.' I remember thinking after watching one of the woman fend off the unwanted advances of a man with a swift hand.
Since then I would come to the barracks and hide myself from their view to wait and see their routine fights, witnessing their own unique fierceness and self-reliance not usually seen in this period of time. I became more and more enchanted with the idea I came up with i just had to implement my plan.
Now, I only needed the approval of Petrov, my da, and then I can show others and myself that I can be worthy of this second chance.
I wanted to show I was as strong as many of my peers so I called a family meeting to talk with my parents, we usually did this when we had important family news to tell. My reason for this meeting was to make them understand my need to become a shield-maiden. I wanted to be able to defend myself and our village, to give them a legitimate reason to be proud of me.
"Please father, ma you know that times are becoming harsher for me now that I am that much closer to the marrying age, the people will put pressure on you to marry me off to one of their sons and even with all the rumors surrounding ma and I you are still the Jarl father so they'll want the prestige. Therefore I have a proposition for you both." I started looking at both of my parents' faces to get an idea of what they were thinking. There was no hint of anything on their gaze.
"We are aware of the difficulties you are facing my child so we'll listen to your plight." da came upon me and gave me one of those fatherly pats that he gives when he seems to be proud of you.
I guessed that he was proud of my initiative on this sore subject.
"I…I want to train to become a skjaldmær and be able to fight and only harm if absolutely necessary." I admit I was a bit scared of their reaction to that request but I had nothing to worry about.
There were a few seconds of silence when booming laughter was heard from both my dad and ma.
"What!" I was not proud of myself at that moment, I had just told my parents one of the most important decisions that I had made in my life and they laughed?
"Don't take it the wrong way child, we were just surprised is all. We should have guessed by now that as time goes by and you mature more and more rapidly that it takes us to register the changes slower each time." Ma explained to me after hearing my exclamation and seeing the look of hurt on my face.
They awaited my response for a while when,
"Wait, you mean to tell me that you are okay with my decision? You won't dictate what I'll do for today and the rest of my life?" even to my ears I sounded disbelieving. I knew for a fact that they would never do that to me but it was always nice to hear reassurances from their own mouths. I was still not used to having this whole happy family thing going on.
It was da that answered this with a,
"Girl, you best not think that way, you are the apple of our eyes and so you shall have and be whatever you wish. Understand!"
"Understood, Jarl." And if I felt a few tears of relief fall down no one said anything.
As the jarl of our village my dad had the right to ask the other maidens for a teacher to train me in the art of war with women in it. One, named Sigrid, chose to accept the challenge posed by their Jarl as many of the others thought me a weakling but I think she saw something in me that Sigrid wanted to cultivate. I had gained a new teacher, and a one of a kind friend too.
So even though I now had to deal with the abhorrence of most if not all of the villagers up front I now knew how to defend myself and could hold my head up high. I also felt I had even more now in this life than in my last. I had my parents' love and support and even though the world I now lived in will lack technology as I know it for a thousand years, it will all be alright if I don't think about the other Tatia's ending. At this point in time I was pretty sure I would have a different future for me yet something within my being told me my meeting the Mikaelson's was set in stone.
And so years passed and my training continued up until I was about fifteen years old.
The both of us were circling each other, paying complete attention to the others' movements be it minuscule or not. We continued the movements whilst Sigrid handled her sword; I, well I held my spear on one hand and my sword sheathed on my back, itching to finally prove myself on this right of passage.
We waited in silence when all of a sudden the both of us stopped circling and ran towards the other, weapons in hand and maniac smiles on our faces. The last fight between us would determine if I am indeed ready for the battlefield, ready to defend our own piece of Valhalla.
...1...2…
We ran towards each other, moving in a fluid dance once our weapons clashed against the other. We went about fighting for a long while until Sigrid made to feign left so as to confuse me but I catched on just in time to block her move, rendering my opponent without her weapon and on the ground.
"You have done well these past years Tatia. I commend you." Sigrid finally spoke after finally being defeated fair and square, both of us having put all our strength in the battle.
"I thank you for everything you have done for me Sigrid, even if you were ordered by the Jarl to do so." I mentioned, trying but failing to sound nonchalant.
"Have you learned nothing from our talks! No one gives me orders that I myself not choose to follow. You were everything but an order. You are my legacy if nothing else. Now help me out of the mud will you?"
"Oh! Of course"
That talk between us would be a treasured memory of mine for the rest of my life since it would be the last time I would see her alive and happy without a worry of danger.
It was one of those days where even though it looked to be a beautiful sight for the eyes, you would feel something wrong might be upon you. Man did I have bad experiences with beautiful days.
After the little time my ma and I spent looking at the mirror, I never bothered her with questions even though it was killing me not knowing. 'She will tell me on her own time, hopefully' I thought.
I was near the river, washing the clothes with the other women when father came up to me.
"Tatia, we have an announcement to make. Come, we'll be waiting in our home." And he left just as abruptly as when he came.
I hurriedly took all the clothes, put them all in one heap in the basket I brought them in in the first place, held it on my shoulders with one hand and went running towards our home as fast as
I could with all the weight carrying me downwards.
I was not sure but I had an inkling of hope on what they were about to talk to me about. There was only one secret they held from me, after all.
I was wrong, oh so wrong.
Once I hurried with the clothes, I began to run towards our home. As I came upon the door I felt like nothing would ever be the same after I entered. I was about to close my hand over the handle but I faltered in my step. To calm down I took a deep breath, held it in and exhaled. 'I am ready.'
'…. wait! I'm not ready to know!' too late since the door was already being opened.
"Child why is it that you have not come in yet, eh?" asked Petrov as I passed him by as i entered our home.
"No reason, Far. So you have something to tell me?"
That's when I saw my ma's face. She had been crying.
"Ah ma, there is no reason to cry," I ran and dropped down beside her and held her tight, forgetting the basket full of clothes. As I hugged my mom I took a chance to finally look at the state of my Far but what I found left me speechless.
He looked nervous, my father never looked nervous.
"Sweet you know that we love you very much and even after all the coming changes we will still love yo-"
"Is there a matter that you wish to share with me? Is something wrong?" I interrupted my Far, my mind already going through various scenarios that could be happening to our family. None came close to what the news was about.
That's when ma finally spoke,
"In around six months you will become an older sister."
…
…
…
I was speechless. Me, a sister! Impossible. How can I be one if only now am I learning how to care for myself! Are my parents jesting?
"No we are not, course we are not. You'll come to be an older sibling and we will be parents twice over."
Since the meeting where Astrid and Petrov gave me the news of an oncoming sibling I was slowly distancing myself from my ma. I was very much aware that on these times a woman giving birth can come to bring death to both the mother and child and that's even if the mother does not lose the fetus before the nine months are up.
I in no way wanted to see my ma so happy when she could end up dying. Maybe it was selfish of me but then I'd remind myself of my past life and all the loss I suffered through. Then I'd regained my resolve, I'd keep from interacting with both of them. Mostly though, I stayed away from the rooms or places they were in.
That went on for the rest of her pregnancy.
The day my mother was due to give birth was like any other day. In fact it was more than a beauty to behold, with the colorful sunrise going on to the breezy afternoon. It was calming... except for the screams I sometimes heard from the birthing room.
I was a nervous wreck and from the looks of it my father was worse off.
I was about to leave the premises when my far, spoke.
"Tatia!" I turned to look at him in the eye in what looked like forever.
"Ja, far?" (Yes, father?) I spoke directly to him after truly seeing him. His appearance was left to be desired, but most of all were his eyes. Those eyes that were always full of wonder, laughter and most of all love were now empty of feeling.
"Come here sweet child of mine." There was nothing that could have stopped me from going to him and embracing him tightly.
"...Oh far…" I murmured as he tightened his hold on me.
As we kept each other standing far spoke:
"I know that you think this will affect our family in a negative way but you'll see that our Astrid will pull through. If nothing bad has happened to the child so far then the gods are on our side just like when we had you."
"If you say- wait, what do the gods have to do with this far?" I questioned him, after all I don't remember the gods ever being mentioned in the shows.
"...Once you are to have your coming of age celebration you will know daughter. Just know that you were truly a miracle of the gods."
"...Very well….." and we spoke no more.
''Twas night time and Astrid was still on the birthing room. Petrov and I were at our wits end with worry; his face showing all the emotions he felt to all whilst I tried my best to show nothing whilst holding my father afloat.
I heard another scream come out of my mother and that's when I realized that I had come to hate my sibling, if not for changing the family's dynamics then for causing my mother pain and my father worry.
I. Was. Done.
"I'm sorry father but I cannot bear it anymore! I can't stand idly and do nothing. I shall go and arrange the baby's room." I gave him an excuse even though I wasn't going to actually do it.
"If you feel like you are doing nothing then you will go in the room and support your mother; you will need to learn about birthing children after all, unless you plan on having no child."
I took a deep breath, I stood up straight and answered him in a steel-like manner:
"If that is your wish then I shall endeavor to deliver, Jarl." I then began walking towards the room.
"TATIA!" I payed no attention to my father's calls for the first time in both lives.
I stepped inside just in time to watch as my mom delivered my newborn sibling in a standing position. Yes, I saw the whole of a baby's head coming out of my mother's vagina. It was not pretty and don't let me get started on the aftermath.
I was there for the miracle of new life and didn't like it at all.
The process looked too bloody for my senses but I soldiered on when I saw Astr-what the hell I will call her mother still- mother being brought to the makeshift bed in whilst another midwife took the crying baby to be checked for deformities.
Somehow I found myself walking towards the baby, temporarily forgetting my mother. I looked at the baby from behind the woman's back and found myself entranced.
It seemed that I was in time, since the midwife immediately turned around and with a quick movement she had rearranged my arms and placed my sibling in them.
"You're here, good. You shall take the baby and place her in your chest for warmth, go on." I was instructed and with some help from her I did so.
I held her for who knows how long, all my being concentrated on her- I have a sister!- when,
"Bring her to me, will you?" Someone rasped as I came out of my trance and as I heard those words I tightened my hold on my baby. Because she was, my baby I mean. I felt it deep within my bones; she was everything to me. When I realized that, I knew that in another life, in another world where I was not Tatia she had to have been my daughter, not a sister.
That's when I came to, and came upon the resting body of my mother now with my father beside her. They both held hope within their eyes, hope that now we could go back to being a family. I have an inkling that they were wondering if I was of a changed mind, and I was but now I craved the baby's love and everything that came with being a mother, her mother.
I numbly walked towards her, my sister unknowingly the only thing keeping me from bolting from the room.
Once I begrudgingly gave her to her true parents I asked, "What shall you name her?"
They then looked at each other and in sync spoke,
"Why don't you name her, eh?"
"You held her first out of the three of us so you get to name her."
As they gave their permission I immediately knew what to name her.
"From this day on she shall be known as Sanna….." …...for she will now be my only truth in this world. She will have truth to her if only in her name.
The Mikaelsons wont appear until either next chapter or the one after, sorry!