"Where are we going?" Reed asked Kurt from the backseat.
"Are we almost there?" Zapata taunted him.
"We are having a team meeting." Kurt told them seriously.
"So this field trip is a bonding ritual?" Reed clarified.
"No," Kurt denied, "I wanted all of us to talk away from the office. We haven't been acting like much of a team for a while and that's going to change."
"So why isn't Nas here then?" Patterson asked from her place between Reed and Zapata.
"She is NSA, not FBI," Kurt reminded them.
"So she is or is not a part of this team?" Patterson insisted.
"She's an asset," Kurt admitted, "But the four of you are my team."
At the word asset Jane looked over at Kurt in surprise. The look he gave her made her heart race. She'd been called an asset since she climbed out of that bag. This was the first time that she could remember being grouped with the team without any qualifiers.
"So what's with the unusual meeting venue?" Zapata asked.
"We are going to sit down and discuss any and all things that could potentially derail our family. We do not need a referee for that. The only way I can ensure that what we discuss is only between us, was to get us out of the office." Kurt explained.
"Awww," Patterson said from the backseat, "He called us his family."
"I don't really have any secrets," Jane admitted.
"What about the three of you?" Kurt looked in the review mirror.
When Reed and Zapata looked at each other he knew something was up.
"Not here," He warned them, "Wait until we get to where we're going."
When Kurt pulled up to the aquatic center everyone just looked at him.
"It's not as crazy as you think," He denied.
They climbed out and went into the building.
"It's open swim," Kurt explained as he handed Patterson a bag.
Looking inside Patterson looked up in dismay, "You did not buy us swimsuits."
"What's the problem?" Kurt looked at her in confusion.
"Swimsuits are the worst articles of clothing in the world. It takes months of searching before I would ever even remotely consider showing myself in one." She told him seriously.
Zapata smiled at her outrage. "Yeah, I'm really not thrilled either."
"Well at least what you do show won't be covered in tattoos." Jane looked at the bag in resignation.
"Look…" Kurt splayed his hands in frustration.
"Its fine," Jane assured him looking around at all the mothers with their young children, "It's not like you all haven't seen it all before."
"Jane," Kurt realized just how uncomfortable she actually was.
"She's right," Zapata looked over at Patterson, "Nobody will be looking at us."
"Okay, fine," Patterson glared at Kurt, "but you're going to owe me."
Reed laughed at Kurt's pained expression.
"He might have gotten you a Speedo," Zapata looked over at Reed.
"Only if you're lucky," Reed made a face at her.
Just that quickly the tension was broken.
"Get changed," Kurt told them, all the while looking at Jane stare at the bag.
As they moved away, Kurt called her, "Jane."
She looked back at him in question, "You have nothing to feel self-conscious about, anyone here can only envy you."
"The tattoos…" She looked around again.
"They're art that have saved a lot of people." He reminded her.
"I know," Jane smiled at him, "but it still hard to be stared at."
"That had to have been happening to you before the tattoos, you should be used to it by now." He smiled down at her.
She looked up at him in surprise.
"Go get changed."
Shaking her head with a smile she followed after Patterson and Zapata.
"You didn't get me a Speedo did you?" Reed asked Kurt as they headed to the men's locker room.
"No," Kurt assured him with a pained expression.
Jane gathered the towel around her tightly. The swimsuit fit well enough, but she looked down at some to the small burn marks that blemished the tattoos with resignation. They hadn't seen all of her she realized. The torture by the CIA hadn't damaged any of the tattoos completely, but the evidence still showed and she knew it always would. Rubbing her hand over the blemishes she bit her lip. It wasn't deforming really. The CIA hadn't wanted to cause permanent injury, but the evidence seemed like neon to her.
"Ready to go?" Zapata joined her with her own towel.
"I guess," Jane looked around, "Where's Patterson?"
"She's cursing Kurt over by the showers."
Jane smiled at that.
Patterson soon joined them and she had two towels; one around her shoulders and one around her waist.
"Let's get this over with," She said in resignation.
Jane and Tasha shared a smile while the followed her from the room.
As predicted Jane garnished plenty of attention as they crossed over to the pool.
Reed and Kurt were already in the water.
"What takes women so long to change?" Reed looked up at them in general puzzlement.
"It's not the changing," Patterson denied, "It building up the courage to wear this out here."
When she dropped the towels she looked perfectly presentable. Clearly her concerns were more mental than physical.
Tasha followed her and Jane reluctantly did too.
"So is this all really necessary?" Tash moved to where Reed and Kurt floated waiting for them to come.
"A lot of things seem to be getting out," Kurt worried, "I trust the four of you, but nobody else. Until we can find out what's happening, I'm not taking any chances."
Jane swam toward them and placed her hand on the edge of the pool for balance.
Reed was looking at her intently.
Looking up she realized that the diodes they used to shock her had left marks on her inner arm. She let go of the side and began to tread water.
He looked at her with a knowing expression.
Reaching out toward her he grabbed her hand and began to support her so she wouldn't get tired.
Kurt was watching them when a scowl.
"So what aren't you telling me?" He looked back and forth between Reed and Zapata.
"Okay," Zapata looked between Reed and Jane, "We know she can swim, so what gives?"
Jane looked over at Reed before pulling away.
"Jane," Reed looked over at Zapata, "Why can't you ever just leave anything alone?"
"No," Jane told him, "We're here to come clean. I have some scaring from my time with the CIA." Reaching back up to the side of the pool she looked away as everyone looked at the marks on her arm.
"Oh, Jane," Patterson empathized.
Kurt's gaze was riveted on the evidence of her torture. He'd known what she'd gone through, but this was the first time since that first day she'd come back that he'd been forced to see the physical evidence of his failure to protect her.
"I know it's not nice to look at," Jane told them in apology, raising her other hand to cover the marks. "For the most part, there's no lasting damage…"
"What else?" He hadn't meant to sound so gruff, but he was barely holding it together.
"Just a few lines on my back," Jane reassured them.
Kurt needed to look, but he didn't want her to feel worse.
"These scars are really good," Jane told them, "When it happened, it helped me figure out how to escape."
"How did you escape?" Reed asked.
Jane hesitated. She was trying to be optimistic, but telling them how she escaped was probably too much information.
"How?" Kurt asked at her hesitation.
She looked over at him and saw his absolute resolve and then looked away. There was no getting out of this and she wasn't going to lie.
"Well…" She took a deep breath, "They were shocking me and they used a little too much juice, so they had to revive me."
"You died?" Patterson gasped,
"Not really," Jane denied, "But after that, I knew their procedure to resuscitate me."
"What did you do?" Tasha was looking at her with shocked eyes.
"I waited until they used the water…and I attempted to drown myself." Jane told them.
"You mean you did drown yourself," Reed corrected her.
"Okay, I drowned myself," Jane finally relented, "When they revived me, I attacked. I didn't make it, but I broke off the syringe in my arm. They forgot it was there. I used the drain cover in my cell as a mace and the needle from my arm to pick the handcuffs when they came to take me. They didn't expect it and I was able to escape."
"So you died twice?" Patterson couldn't seem to get past that.
"Technically I guess you could say I died," Jane reluctantly agreed, "But just for a little while."
"What if they hadn't revived you?" Kurt asked her with a clenched jaw.
"Then I guess Sandstorm wouldn't have been my problem anymore. Trust me; either escape or death was preferable at that point."
The total silence that met her statement made her look at them for the first time since she began the story. Patterson seemed devastated, Zapata horrified, Reed full of empathy and Kurt…caught her eyes and held them. He looked…different than she'd ever seen him. Furious, obviously, but something more…he looked almost like he was in pain.
"That's enough about me," Jane pleaded. "Anyone else want to go, you can make up something if you have to."
"We have something," Reed shared another look with Tasha.
"It can't be any worse." Jane assured them.
Reed began talking, then Tasha chimed in and before you knew it they were back to blanket silence.
"I was wrong," Jane finally admitted. Looking between the pair she chanced a glance at Kurt. He looked stunned.
"You were at the Couch's house when he was murdered?" Patterson repeated. Patterson then turned to Tasha. "You stole evidence form the police because you believed Reed had killed him?"
"Yes," They both admitted together.
"Why the hell didn't you come to me?" Kurt demanded with a tick in his jaw.
"It seemed kinder to not make you an accessory." Tasha admitted.
Kurt rubbed his face, before looking over at Patterson warily, "Have you killed anyone, stole anything, or otherwise need to come clean?"
"No," Patterson denied, "Other than getting my boyfriend killed and then sleeping with a mole for Sandstorm, I'm good."
"We're kind of a mess," Jane looked at them with a grimace.
"Yes we are," Kurt agreed.
"What have you done?" Reed looked over at Kurt.
"Besides not stopping the CIA from taking Jane, getting my casual girlfriend pregnant, and falling into bed with Nas, even though I don't completely trust her?" Kurt asked the obvious.
"Besides that," Patterson teased.
"Well, apparently I've been so caught up in my own problems that I have completely let everyone of you down." Kurt finally admitted.
"We aren't children," Zapata denied.
"You absolutely didn't kill the Coach?" Kurt looked at Reed.
"No," Reed assured him.
"You returned the knife?" Kurt looked at Tasha.
She explained how they were able to return it.
"Okay," Kurt looked at both of them, "Never keep anything like this from me again. I'll run interference if the detective on the case has any questions for you."
"That's it?" Reed looked over at Kurt in surprise.
"I think that it is evident that we have all made poor choices, but all of that is behind us now. We are a team…we have each other's backs, understood?"
Looking around they all agreed. Jane was surprised to find that the reserve that the others usually viewed her with was gone.
She looked over at Kurt and some of the wonder in her face must have registered for he smiled at her.
"Now can we get out of these horrible swimsuits?" Patterson demanded.
"I don't think it's that kind of pool," Reed warned her.
She splashed him and then it was on.
Jane felt the water hit her face and gasped.
Zapata stuck out her tongue and Jane immediately returned fire.
The whistle from the life guard made them freeze.
"You got us into trouble," Reed complained to Patterson.
"You deserved it, I regret nothing." Patterson moved over to the ladder and began climbing out.
Reed waited for Tasha to get out before looking at Kurt and going in front of Jane.
Kurt deliberately waited for Jane to swim over to the steps before joining her. He needed to see her back for himself just how bad it had been.
She hesitated at the steps as though realizing what he was doing.
"You can go first," She told him moving to the side.
"I need to see," Kurt told her.
"Its fine," Jane insisted.
"Then let me see," Kurt argued.
Jane reluctantly turned her back toward him.
Kurt saw the faint white lines that crossed her back. Reaching out he touched them tenderly.
"Do they hurt you?" Kurt worried.
"Not anymore," She assured him, "I just can't wear a low cut dress anymore…oh wait, the tattoos already ruined that."
"How can you laugh about something so horrible?" Kurt ran his hand up and down her back as though her were trying to erase them.
"This is the happiest I have been since it all happened," Jane explained, "I don't want to give it any more power than it already has."
He pulled her against him and squeezed her hard.
"Jane," Kurt whispered in her ear, "I would do anything to have stopped this from happening to you."
"You didn't do this Kurt," Jane insisted.
"I should have stopped it…I should have found you." He insisted.
"You looked?" Jane couldn't hide her surprise.
"Of course I looked," Kurt assured her, "Patterson looked, we couldn't find anything."
"That means a lot to me," Jane told him returning his hug.
"We are in this together," Kurt told her.
"Together." Jane agreed.
Climbing from the pool, Jane no longer worried about the looks she received, she was no longer alone and she knew it.
"Don't suppose you're going to cancel your date?" Kurt asked hopefully.
Laughing Jane looked over her shoulder at him as she walked away without answering.
Watching her go, Kurt was afraid it wasn't going to be that easy. Nothing worthwhile ever was, but Jane was definitely worthwhile… He felt an anchored once more. He'd been adrift for so long, the tie felt nice…it felt necessary and he would protect it and her with everything in him.
He would never had thought before he met Jane that he would ever be able to see beyond good and bad, right and wrong, but he could now. He could see the grey. He could understand hard choices, even if he didn't agree with them. He would have lost his team had she not taught him that. He would have lost her. It made him a better leader…it made him a better man. They were good for each other and he wouldn't doubt it again.