Kurt couldn't sleep. He kept picturing the look on Jane's face when he'd found her outside the theater. Her terrified and then wounded expression was haunting him.
Alice died that day, just like Taylor. She told him.
For some reason when he'd found out that Jane wasn't Taylor, he'd never considered that she might be exactly like Taylor. She'd been a lost child, taken away from her home by force after witnessing her mother being murdered. She wasn't the lost child he'd been looking 25 years for, but she had been a lost child all the same.
He remembered the look on her face when he'd arrested her.
What do you do when someone betrays you?Kurt remembered asking her.
If it's forgivable, you forgive them.I don't know.None of you have ever let me down…"
She could have fought him, but she hadn't. Even as he'd let her down, only considering how finding out what his father had done affected him, she'd let him cuff her. He'd been drunk, distraught, but that was no excuse for letting the CIA take her. Although he hadn't meant for it to happen, she'd paid for it every day for over three months.
I thought I was protecting you…protecting the team…by doing what they wanted.I was wrong.
She wasn't the only one that was wrong…Kurt felt sick.
When she'd come back, he closed his eyes in pain.
I can't stand to be in the same room with her.
He'd said that because of his own guilt, not because of anything she'd done. She'd heard him…he'd hurt her all over again. The moment he'd seen her on the surveillance screen at the hotel, he'd been determined to get her back. He'd have done anything that day to get her back. Not because he hated her, but because having finally found her again, he was determined never to lose her.
I'll go, we both know how dangerous this is…nobody would miss me.
He had lied to her, not to protect her or the team, but to protect himself.
I just needed someone.
Remembering the way that Oliver had looked down at Jane when they danced he cursed himself. She deserved someone to treat her well, to put her feelings first. Even as he admitted that to himself, he knew he couldn't step back and watch Oliver get closer to Jane. To be the one she turned to when she needed someone. He wanted to be that person. He might not deserve to be, but he wanted it more than anything. The irony wasn't lost on him.
Kurt sat up when he heard something from the living room. Was Jane up? He headed over to the door without thought.
When he opened the door, he saw that it was still dark. He waited…listening. Then he heard it again. It was a whimper.
He was down the hall before he even thought about it. She was still asleep, but obviously distressed. She had kicked a leg out of the blanket and the shirt had ridden up. The fact that he noticed was just another strike against him.
"Jane," He walked over and sat of the edge of the couch.
She jerked awake abruptly.
"Kurt?" She said in sleepy confusion.
He loved that his name was the first she muttered. It was exactly the same for him. He remembered Rich's words…Every time something happens you look to Jane…He did. She was his first waking thought. She was in his mind though out the day and she was inevitably his last thought at night.
"You okay?" He worried brushing aside her hair tenderly.
"I was having a dream…" She admitted, "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"I couldn't sleep." He denied.
"Is anything wrong?" She looked more awake now.
Just like that she was concerned for him. She'd been having a bad dream, but she was worried about him.
"No," Kurt denied, "Can I sit with you a while?"
Jane struggled to sit up.
"No," Kurt stopped her, "I can fit."
Jane looked up at him in surprise when he placed an arm around her and put his feet up next to hers. It was only then that she noticed how high the shirt had ridden up. Her underwear was pretty, but that seemed to just make it more embarrassing. Her face felt hot and she looked up at him in dismay. It was Kurt that pulled the cover over her leg before drawing her against his side.
Scooting down, she found her back against the couch and her front against Kurt's chest. She rested her head against him and closed her eyes. This was the most comfortable she'd been since…ever.
"You okay?" He asked. Both arms curled around her protecting her from the dark recesses of her own mind.
"I might fall asleep on you," She warned.
Sounded damn fine to him. "I might join you," He warned her back. Reaching up he entangled on of his hands into her hair, keeping her locked against him.
When he felt her go lax, he smiled and rubbed his cheek against her forehead. He knew in their line of work there were no guarantees, but he had her now and it would have to be enough. He fell asleep beside her and they kept each other's nightmares at bay.