A letter written in a quick, messy hand on a clean sheet of paper. It's crumpled and torn along the edges, like it's been balled up a few times.

STRIDER-

FIRST OF ALL, HOW DARE YOU! IT WAS A LEGITIMATE BONDING MOMENT, AND YOU'RE JUST THROWING IT OVER YOUR SHOULDER. DO MY FEELINGS NOT MATTER, OR ARE YOU THINKING THAT ANYONE TRYING TO REACH OUT AND HELP YOU ARE JUST MENTAL IN THEIR OWN, SPECIAL WAYS?

YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T ACTUALLY NEED TO TRY AND CLEAR YOUR NAME LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW, RIGHT? I COULD JUST LET YOU BE CHASED BY THE MILITARY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! IT WOULD SERVE YOU RIGHT, YOU KNOW. AFTER ALL OF THE HELL YOU'VE GIVEN ME, IT'S ONLY APPROPRIATE THAT YOU HAVE SOME OF YOUR OWN, TOO!
DAMN, YOU'RE LUCKY THAT PRINCE JOHN FOUND IT IN HIS SOUL TO ACTUALLY TRY AND SAVE YOU! HE OBVIOUSLY GIVES MORE OF A SHIT ABOUT YOU THAN YOU DO HIM. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE TO DESERVE A FRIEND LIKE YOU!

REALLY, IT'S ONLY OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART AND MY ALLEGIANCE TO PRINCE JOHN THAT I'M DOING THIS. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DO IT MYSELF! IT WOULD BE EASY TO PASS IT ON TO SOMEONE WAY MORE INCOMPETENT. BUT NO, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY! YOU HAVE ME ON YOUR SIDE. DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD.

AND YOU REALIZE THAT ANY POINT YOU'RE MAKING ABOUT THE ARMY AND THE DRAGON IS TOTALLY INVALID, RIGHT? LIKE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE IT IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM! THE ARMY GAVE YOU THE EGG, SHIT FOR BRAINS! YOU DIDN'T BREED IT, OR FIND IT. YOU HAD IT HANDED TO YOU. IT MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, RIGHT?

DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER ANY OF THIS, OR DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU WERE RUNNING OFF? OR, WORSE YET, ARE YOU JUST THAT IGNORANT OF THE CONSEQUENCES? DON'T ANSWER THAT! I KNOW THE ANSWER.

DON'T SAY WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU. EVERYTHING THAT THE ARMY'S DONE HAS BEEN A FUCKING FAVOR, AND YOU DON'T DESERVE THE COURTESY.

AND ANOTHER THING! I AM NOT PRINCE JOHN'S SECRETARY! HE HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN WRITE SOME INSUFFERABLE SHITSTAIN WHO WON'T TAKE THE INITIATIVE AND APOLOGIZE FOR RUNNING OFF LIKE YOU DID! ALL I'M DOING IS RELAYING THESE MESSAGES IN OUR PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HOW THE ARMY IS DOING!

BUT, I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'D UNDERSTAND SOMETHING LIKE THAT, RIGHT? SITTING DOWN AND ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS? NO, OF FUCKING COURSE NOT! ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN WHEN SOMETHING'S WRONG INSTEAD OF PUTTING ON THE BIG KID PANTS AND MARCHING THROUGH. YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY AND HOPE THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD IS GOING TO CATCH UP AND LICK THE DUST OFF OF YOUR SHOES, STRIDER! YOU'RE A TRAITOR, NOT A TRAILBLAZER. ALL THIS IS GOING TO DO IS END UP WITH YOU SERIOUSLY WRECKED, AND BACK IN THIS PALACE IN FUCKING CHAINS. IT WOULDN'T EVEN BE MY FAULT, EITHER! I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS, AND IF YOU GET ARRESTED BEFORE THE CHARGES ARE FORMALLY DROPPED THAN THERE'S JACK SHIT THAT I CAN DO FOR YOU. YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO HAVE ME AT YOUR BECK AND CALL ALL OF THE TIME, AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE MAKING IT ANY EASIER ON ME!

LET ME TAKE THESE LAST FEW MINUTES AND OFFER YOU A FINAL "FUCK YOU." DID ONE PERSON DYING SERIOUSLY CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE WORLD VIEW? THAT'S THE REASON THAT YOU'RE UP IN ARMS? PEOPLE DIE FOR BETTER REASONS ALL OF THE DAMN TIME, AND I DON'T SEE YOU DOING ANYTHING FOR THEM. THE PLAGUE VICTIMS WOULD CERTAINLY HAVE APPRECIATED IT!

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE SOME DAY, ANYWAY. YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO IT OVER SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THAN SOME SELF CONCEIVED DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR AND A SUICIDE MISSION THAT YOU'RE ONLY GOING ON BECAUSE YOU CAN'T STOP DEEPTHROATING YOURSELF LONG ENOUGH TO CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES.

I'M RUNNING OUT OF ROOM. FUCK THIS.

-VANTAS.

(P.S. NO, WAIT, I LIED! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SENT ME A LETTER OVER YOUR OWN FUCKING WANTED POSTER. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CUTE? GO FUCK YOURSELF, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T.)