Chapt 8

Claire woke up the next morning and smelled that oh so blissful scent of coffee and bacon wafting up the stairs, luring her out of the bed and down the stairs. She found Matt in the kitchen, cooking like he was Gordon Ramsay or something.

"You can stay rent free as long as you keep this up Mister."

He glanced over his shoulder and grinned at her. "Well I think that might be a good thing. Have a seat. I'm plating it all up now so we can eat."

She took her seat and waited as Matt carried their plates and cups of coffee to the table. He returned to the kitchen and brought back the creamer before taking a seat. He sat and said grace and then looked at her with a look of worry on his face.

"What is it Matt?"

"Huh, what are you talking about? What is what?"

Claire shook her head and smiled softly. "That worried look on your face. I know you far too well."

He let a heavy sigh escape his lungs and yet he still was weighed down by whatever it was bothering him. "Hunter asked me to show up to the shows this weekend. That can only mean that they're drug testing this weekend. Even when I'm not active I have to go through it which is bullshit. I've got these pain meds I take now and again, I mean what if they hold that against me? Then there's that damn... ugh Claire you're about to be beyond disappointed in me and I'm so sorry. I went out this past week while you were gone. I ended up trying out that damn synthetic weed shit. I don't know how long it stays with you, and I don't care. It sucked and I'll never try that nasty shit again."

Matt watched as she sat her fork down and folded her hands in front of her. He knew that she was disappointed, and hell she had every right to be. He was disappointed in himself and yet he knew that she wouldn't judge or fault him for his mistake. That was just one more reason that he valued her in his life.

"Well, we all are human and in that human way we all make mistakes. What's important is how we overcome, those lessons we learn, and how well we accept the repercussions of the mistakes that we have made. I won't tell you how wrong it was and how you should never do that mess again because I know you've been telling yourself all of that. I love you. I stand by you and support you in whatever happens."

He looked down and felt as if he'd been properly chastised even though she'd not done that at all. "Thank you Claire. You are an amazing person. Just know that, no matter what." He answered her smile with his own and said. "So how did last night go, speaking to Joe and all that stuff?"

"It went well. I actually feel as if he saw my direction and where I was wanting to go with this."

"Mhmm, and he's a tall, sexy Samoan who has your brain all sorts of mixed up huh?"

Claire's head jerked up and gave him a raised eyebrow. "What in the world are you talking about Matt?"

He laughed and shrugged. "Oh gee, I don't know. Just something in the way your face flushed when I mentioned his name." He watched as her face fell and a sadness filled her eyes. He covered her hand with his and ran his thumb back and forth over the back of it. "Claire its okay ya know, to look at other men, to notice them. It'd even be okay to go out with someone. I promise."

"I don't know, I mean I guess that I just feel that I'm wrong for it. If I'm honest though, Joe is really easy to look at, yes."

Matt smiled at her. "Claire do not stop living and loving. You're single, you're not dead."

She nodded her head in agreement and then stood up to clear the dishes from the table. When the dishwasher was loaded and purring softly, she walked into the living room where Matt sat on the couch watching morning talk shows. Claire curled up next to him, his arm wrapping around her, pulling her closer to him. Before she settled in she placed a kiss on his cheek. "I love you Matt," she said as she settled her head on his shoulder.

"And I love you Claire."

That Friday Claire boarded a plane, Matt beside her, and headed out for Portland, Oregon, and the first house show of the weekend. She could sense the nervous energy pouring from him and knew that the drug test that was almost guaranteed was weighing heavy on him. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly.

"It's going to be okay Matt, and whatever happens we have to know that there is a strong reason for it to go that way."

Portland, Or.

"Mr. Korklan, could you step in here please? We need to discuss the test results with you."

He was feeling sick to his stomach but he got up and headed into the medical office. He took a seat in a stiff and completely uncomfortable chair, twisting the lid off of his water bottle before taking a long slow drink. He watched nervously as the staff medical supervisor sat down beside the test administrator. He sat silent, not wanting to speak first, mainly because he had no idea what to say. Thankfully he didn't have to.

"Mr. Korklan, we received some not to pleasant results from your test. Is there anything that you would like to tell us?"

He took a deep breath and felt the urge to deny any and everything, but he knew that he had to own up to his mistakes, no matter what it might mean for his career. "About a week ago I went to a party, was just hanging out and one thing led to another. I was offered a rolled cigarette. It smelled off, so I asked about it. It was a synthetic weed and I didn't think that it might have the same components as actual weed. I smoked it. I fucked up and I accept total responsibility. My past mishaps with marijuana are no hidden thing here and I'd been clean and I good. I foolishly thought that the synthetic part of it would make it okay. I was wrong."

The trainer looked at him and pressed his lips into a thin line. "Matt, you do know that I have to take this to Hunter. This is the third strike."

Matt nodded his head, lowering his eyes. He was disappointed in himself and he was pissed at himself. But then again, he had no one else to be angry with, so it was appropriate. "I understand."

He was dismissed then and he left the office knowing that his days were limited with this company now. He hated that in his one slip up he'd thrown away so very much. It was after the house show was over and done that he got the call from Hunter.

"Matt, man what the hell were you thinking? Why do you have to put me in this position?"

"It was a stupid mistake that cost me far more than it was worth. I'm sorry that I've let you and Vince and this company, the fans down. It's a hard lesson learned but it is indeed a lesson learned."

"I hope so. Unfortunately, you know the policy. We're going to have to let you go Matt."

"I understand. I really do. Again, I apologize." Matt hung up the phone and hung his head into his hands. Disappointment was strong. He didn't even realize he was crying until the tears were physically rocking his body. Claire came in and wrapped her arms around him, holding him while he cried, without one single word to him. What could she say anyway that would heal?