Chapter 13

November 20, 2003

After fetching some tea (because bugger it all, Bellatrix had been right about the stupid tea probably helping), Hermione had taken Bellatrix into the sitting room. They were sitting in the wing-backed chairs again, as if none of the last ten days had happened. This time Bellatrix was facing her, hunched over her own legs to more clearly see Hermione, the form of her limbs poking sharply out through the loose fabric of her robes, that feral quality she had prominently displayed in her unabashed stare. It was strange, the attention Hermione suddenly commanded from the woman, the power shifting between them so palpably. Bellatrix's eyes were huge and glassy as she gazed steadily at Hermione, the taught skin over her cheekbones signalling her apprehensiveness. It was unsettling. So Hermione cleared her throat.

'So.' she pronounced, before Bellatrix launched into her own speech, still intently staring at Hermione.

'I don't really remember much of my life, you know. Not even most of what you've found has been known to me and Merlin knows that's just scratching the surface. I fought for a cause all my life that I can barely remember, and now I've lost and so there isn't even that to live for. I'm in this stupid cage and I don't really see the point in going on. Life imprisonment is not likely to be a more pleasant prospect the second time around, and there is no chance of anyone coming to free me this time. But before I give up I want to know who I am again. I want myself back. I've had several years to think it over and that is really just all I want. I know that means a lot of pain and work and I am fully prepared that it will make anyone witnessing it along with me hate me. It isn't my intention to harm you, miss Granger, as you are my best chance at getting what I want and frankly you've been more pleasant to be around then all my caretakers the last 6 years combined. I would like myself back and as I've certainly lived to testify, the degree of pleasure one receives from life is not what makes it worthwhile. I am not afraid. I want my soul as whole as possible and my whole mind back and that is all I wish to take with me into my hopefully not too far off death. I require your assistance in this quest and I am sorry that it causes you such grief. I will not ask for forgiveness as I surely do not warrant it, but I do require your patience. It is my dying wish and seemingly the only public service I can still give. Please allow me this. Please.'

Hermione sat there, silent. Acutely aware that she should say something. Acutely aware that she had moved far enough along in her own life by now that she would require more therapy than anyone could possibly provide and suicidal confessions and pleas for mercy from her former torturer did not bode well for the future. Christ, how the mighty have fallen.

'Do you remember Azkaban at all?' she finally asked, her mind as ever several steps ahead, frantic to process, understand, make decisions and survive.

'Yes. I just feel it... it's difficult to describe. It's not quite a memory. But it is always there, a sort of presence more than a remembrance.'

Hermione sighed heavily.

'I think we should... we'll finish the mapping and then I will begin there with the full extraction. I believe unlocking those memories will bring back a lot of other things. Sort of how seeing that other memory had the effect that it... well, it set off related memories for me.' she cleared her throat. 'That's what I wanted to say. I mean... that's all.'

She gulped her tea, deciding Bellatrix was wrong. The probability had always been there, and was now confirmed. Tea was not helpful after all.
She sighed heavily, silently bemoaning the fates and their hand in landing her here.

'Onwards we roll, I suppose. We'll need to go over a few things regarding your perception of these memories.' she began, and they were off. It wasn't difficult. Bellatrix answered simply enough, and it was clear that truly a lot of her memories were missing. It didn't seem as if the Dementors had taken everything but the horrible ones as those memories seemed to have been crowded out by the remorse Bellatrix had been induced to feel since, which had failed to bring back any lost details and left only agonizing feeling over vague recollections of wrong-doing. What was left after all this meddling seemed to be just... dull. Of course, given Bellatrix's somewhat skewed vision of dull, most of it was still rather horrific. Between the Dementors and the Essence of Remorse, remembering almost anything caused the dark witch quite a bit of pain and usually set off her various nervous ailments and her Crucio-tremors.

'God, I hate those.' the dark witch lamented. The look of guilt that came upon her face then was really almost endearing to Hermione until she spoke her next few words. 'Do you have them?'

'Yes. And before you ask, yes, it was likely your doing. I've tried every stupid thing anyone's ever recommended, but nothing helps with them. The scars are horrifying, too, but the tremors are worse, really. It's just so bloody aggravating, the stupid pity it produces in everyone. Harry doesn't really have them, you know. Seems like he should, but I guess he wasn't ever tortured quite like that, was he? Every other way, sure, but not like that. Not for that long and with quite that much hatred.' she deadpans, catching herself hoping for guilt from the other witch.

Bellatrix merely looked pensive. 'I suppose... well, I think the damage could have gone out of him either way, couldn't it? With... with him, I mean.'

Hermione hadn't really considered that. 'I suppose, yeah.'

After exhausting themselves with questions they tidied everything they needed before retreating upstairs where they found their beds, and their sleep, very fast indeed.

November 21, 2003

It was a windy, cold morning. The glow of the fireplace was almost entirely negated by the damp air permeating the sitting room. For once Hermione shivered from the weather. With their heavy travelling cloaks firmly in place, Hermione and Bellatrix stepped through the portal that landed them in Hermione's island home. Hermione offered blood to the door leading out of the portal room and into the house (Bellatrix seemed shocked but pleased at this), then exited and were, at last, home.

Once safely ensconced inside she cast several warming charms, lit up the oven to boil water and the fireplace for continued warmth. She'd set everything ready, and she sent the luggage where it belonged before removing her cloak and shoes and planting herself in the kitchen with Bellatrix for some tea. The impending full extraction was weighing heavily on her, leaving her unable to get properly warmed up – the aim was to get to Azkaban today, to perhaps begin to repair the damage of those years. It was likely to put Bellatrix in quite a state. The prospect of such a grim undertaking was not spurring either of the witches on. Hermione'd thought it over and decided that this was certainly the best course of action, but the gloom weighing on her mind was simply less conducive to a successful venture today. She needed a break.

'Bellatrix?' she asked idly, deciding to simply be honest.

'Hm?' Bellatrix's expression stirred from it's serious examination of her teaspoon.

'I think I will go out for a bit... to get us some food. Is that alright?' Okay, so... sort of honest.

'Do you need my permission?' the witch raised her eyebrow in amusement.

'Well... no. I suppose I don't. So, I'll see you in an hour or so. I'm sealing the house.'

Already back to her ongoing teaspoon-examination Bellatrix merely waved a hand airily at her. Breaking the rules was nothing to her, Hermione supposed. She wouldn't be surprised if the existence of such things were among what the dark witch had simply forgotten all about. Perhaps Hermione could have simply scheduled things more... straightforwardly this whole time? Deciding such second-guessing was fruitless she pushed the thought away and continued down the corridor, casting her wards and hexes, sealing the house.

Hermione's hands trembled as she closed the door and entered the portal, exited and apparated. She landed decisively and immediately began her short walk to her destination. After going through the Leaky Cauldron with her hood all the way up, she exited onto the rather shabby part of muggle London housing the barrier between the magic and muggle worlds. Next to the Leaky Cauldron, comprising a new border stop between the worlds, was a bakery painted in a bright lavender with flowery lettering reading NEW MOON BAKERY; BEWITCHING DELIGHTS AND SPECIALTY BAKEWARE. The smell wafting out when she entered was warm and sweet with notes of cinnamon. A flash of red hair greeted her behind the counter.

'Hermione!' Ginny grinned. 'I didn't know you were coming today! It's lovely to see you.' her hands leant on the straps of her white apron. 'By yourself, are you?'

Hermione grinned back, allowing the heady air to envelop her in a safe feeling, encouraging her to relax her shoulders for the first time since the beginning of this nightmare. 'Good to see you, Gin. Yes, it's just me today, I'm afraid. Off-season work?'

'Well, I've got to look after my investment or else I'm afraid my partner will burn it to the ground, and the Nachtkrapps don't take that much practice time over the winter, so keeping busy is key. Besides' she looked nervously around 'I think it might be good to have someone a bit more grounded here, every now and again. It can get a bit eccentric 'round these parts, if you know what I mean.' she winked.

As if on cue Luna drifted out of the back kitchen holding a tray of rainbow-coloured baked goods of some sort, complete with a bright yellow apron over sun-coloured robes, her blonde hair tied in a messy bun barely contained under her orange hairnet.

'Hi, Luna.' Hermione offered, hoping her eyes were not actually watering at the blinding sight of the younger witch.

'Oh, hello! How truly delightful to see you! Would you like a crème-filled rainbow-bun?' she asked, offering a glorious smile as she set down the tray on a counter. The buns seemed to shift between geometric shapes of their own accord.

'Are those quite as they, uh.. should be, Luna?' she furrowed her brow at the magical-looking pastries.

'Oh, yes, I know what you mean, but it's magic day today!' Luna announced happily. 'We've got plimpy pie, if you'd rather?' she twirled once around before offering herself a sort of embrace with both arms in seeming elated joy. 'The sun is beautiful today – I'll set us up with some tea in the garden. You can stay for a bit, yeah? The daisies are blooming!' and she promptly waltzed back out the door, waving her hands happily and humming something that sounded like 'The funky troll', a recent Weird Sisters hit Hermione personally hadn't taken to much due to what she perceived to be excessive use of bagpipes.

Utterly non-plussed by the witch's behaviour Hermione simply raised her eyebrows at Ginny. 'We're all in agreement it's November, right?'

'We've got a charmed garden on the magical side now.' Ginny shrugged. 'And it is quite lovely out there today.'

'Oh. Alright then. And magic day?'

'We set muggle-repelling charms two times a week so we can do specialty goods and the Cauldron can have some rest times for through traffic. It's really very nice – lots of families come in. All Luna's idea, of course.'

'That's really nice of her. As usual, I suppose, but I still swear that woman is at least part Disney princess. Only reason she gets away with being so bonkers.' Hermione shook her head.

'Oh, hush, she's lovely.' Ginny gave the door a fond smile before furrowing her eyebrows. 'But a bit bonkers, yeah.'

Ginny grabbed several different pastries and some sandwiches on a tray before beckoning Hermione to follow through an arched entrance leading to a corridor separating a cozy area with squashy armchairs and sofas and mismatched tables and a bright lime-green door at the end.

'How's work? Is that horrid bitch giving you trouble?'

Hermione felt a slight blush creep up on her. 'That obvious why I'm here?'

'First time you've ever been here without your parents, so yes, I'd say so. If you accidentally murdered her, I'm not sure anyone would object too loudly, you know.' Ginny tilted her head thoughtfully, considering the door-handle and her tray before chancing to hold the tray in one hand and opening the door with the other, 'I can't thank Tonks enough for this door, really. Impossible for muggles to enter, they just see the corridor turn left and continue on to our muggle bathrooms. Brilliant.'

Hermione nodded and followed. 'I just need a bit of a break, I think. Murder still seems a bit extreme for the circumstances, though Luna had to practically walk me back off the murder-ledge the other day.'

'How long have you been doing your projects now? With the island and everything, it must have been months!'

'I'm not allowed to talk about that.' Hermione smiled, silently thankful that Ginny has no idea what she could discover if she thinks more deeply on it. 'But I have been quite busy, yes, and since Harry appears to have a direct line of communication with some sort of Ministry oracle – well, I'm guessing you know some of what I've been up to.'

Ginny shook her head, grinning as she lead them out of the corridor and into a lovely garden with a domed ceiling giving every illusion of the sky on a warm sunny day. 'If they only knew how his little group of confidantes are told every snippet they give him, he'd never be told anything ever again. He is absolutely incapable of keeping things quiet however sneaky he thinks he is. Sings like a bird whenever prompted, that man. I can't believe they considered letting him be an Auror.' Ginny snorted, 'You're not gonna tell on him, are you?'

'What, and miss being in the information elite? No, thank you.' Hermione grinned back, heading for the little table laden with tea, coffee and sweets where Luna was practically hopping with contentment in her seat.

'Isn't it lovely?' she drawled and Hermione immediately agreed it was.

'You know, David says that interviewing mass murderers and war criminals is a job for psychiatrists. Are you the magical equivalent of a psychiatrist, Hermione?' the blonde asked placidly.

'No, but I'll be needing the services of one soon, I expect. Did you tell him I'm doing that?'

'No, I hypothesized, of course. It's good to learn about the muggles, you know, but I learnt to keep secrets as well as anyone in the DA. Sometimes I suspect you have too little faith in me.' Luna grinned broadly. If it were anyone else it might have been disturbing, but Luna looked as innocent as ever.

Hermione rolled her eyes. Luna was a clever woman, she knew that. Just very eccentric. She'd learned to keep her theories to a minimum now, as these things could not be discussed in front of David. While Hermione had had serious concerns about Luna dating a muggle, it had really turned the blonde down to a much more tolerable volume, in her opinion, by honing her social skills considerably.

'It's the three of them, I've always said it, haven't I? They think everyone else is an idiot.' Ginny sipped her tea, giving a conspiratorial shake of the head to Luna.

'I'm sorry, Ginny, really.' she leaned over, in instant turmoil, and put her hand on Ginnys and squeezed. 'Really.' she assured again, for what must the thousandth time. She still meant it.

'I know Hermione. It's fine. We are not having that conversation again.' Ginny shooed her hand away, annoyed before straightening up and brightening considerably. 'So, in the interest of providing you with relief from your grim daily duties we might discuss with you any number of recent events! Luna has a new article published, I am in the running for 'most valuable player' in the Bavarian professional leagues, Neville wrote me yesterday with news from Hogwarts and Harry bloody Potter announced to me that he'll be testifying in some new hearings starting Monday the subject of which will be, as far as I can tell, 'Dementors: yay or nay'! So, lots to cover.' Ginny snorted. 'By the way, has she tried to murder you yet or are you not allowed to say?'

Ginny's challenging eyes met hers, and Hermione swallowed. 'She hasn't, she's just a pest and nuisance. What about that hearing, though? What's that about?'

'I think it's Fudge trying to win votes by being a tit, as usual. Of course, it's common knowledge higher up that someone is in custody of LeDingbat and preparing for an inquisition and that those hearings will commence not too far into the future, so someone is making their move. The Daily Prophet will be making a huge racket about it, too, so it seems very promising that Fudge is behind it. Very juicy stuff. I would take out life insurance on Rita Skeeter if the security on the hearing is strict. I expect she'd gamble her life to get that scoop. Ron has got a betting pool set up, he's thinking it'll be Zacharias Smith behind all this.'

'So Fudge thinks promising Bellatrix a Kiss for her troubles will get him elected?'

'Seems like it.'

'How did I not know that? I spoke with the Minister just... recently! Why hasn't Harry told me?' Hermione burst, her consternation, she knew, written all over her face.

'It'll be your principled stance on the issue, I expect. Does it not colour how you'd present Lestrange if you know she might get a Kiss?'

'Of course it does.' Hermione looked down. 'Thank you for cheering me up, Ginny.' she grunted, and the redhead burst out laughing.

'You're welcome, of course, but that's only the beginning. Luna, why don't you explain about your new article?'

'Oh, yes!' Luna beamed. 'I've developed a technique for partial human-to-object transfiguration that would allow one to use their body parts as tools. Very useful for cooking on outdoor excursions. I'm being published in Transfiguration Today, tough it of course will not be today today. Not quite the most fitting title, is it?'

'That's wonderful news! Tell me everything.' Hermione burst, trying vainly to conceal the stab of jealousy she felt. Her research would never be published outside the Department, a fact she'd long since accepted. Still, a certain longing remained.

'Thank you, Hermione. You see, I was out searching for Blibbering Humdingers as they've become a recurring point of insult from people after that whole incident in the Great Hall. I don't mind, really, as I know they're quite as real as you and I are, but I have been assured by Ginny and Neville that people are being 'great big boils of vileness' about it. I thought the best way to remedy this was to capture a specimen for study, but I was foiled when they kept placing beautiful flowers in my way, completely distracting me. They're clever creatures, really.'

'What about the transfiguration?' Hermione interrupted.

'Well, as it was I had my collapsible cauldron with me but I had forgotten that I'd taken all my utensils out for cleaning before packing my tent last. It's one of those muggle tents, David gave it to me after I told him I loved camping, but I have to say the muggle experience is really quite different and I think they don't even use cauldrons as David was quite cross with me when I left mine in the tent... it's a bit confusing, this muggle business. Nothing can be left in the tent and you always need to cook outside and David simply insists we not bring any furniture apart from these very clever collapsible chairs he has. It is very heavy to carry everything and David insists I need water for cleaning my utensils. I've begun not cleaning without as I suspect the muggles do not have anything to replace a simple cleaning charm. I think I should write a book about my observations, you know, for anyone dating muggles.'

'That's a good idea, Luna. But what happened with the transfiguration?' Ginny remarked, bemused at Hermione's exasperated expression.

'Oh, yes. Well, so I had no utensils and after a while I decided to simply transfigure my arm into a wooden ladle so I could stir my stew. My stew turned out very well and it turns out my technique was quite unusual, so now it's being published.'

'That's very good news, Luna.' Hermione smiled, too dumbfounded to say anything else at this simple conclusion. This would be Luna's seventh published article. The woman was the consummate Ravenclaw in her way: always curious and always creatively engaged with the world around her. For Luna, negative results delighted as much as positive ones. This was what Hermione admired most about Luna, that willingness to eagerly engage with the answer regardless of whether it was the answer she'd hoped. Hermione always felt personally wounded when she turned out to be wrong, whilst Luna felt elated that the answer had been found and viewed it as a stepping stone to find out more.

'It's really really great.' Ginny agreed. 'And they've hired Neville at Hogwarts! He's a full professor and he's the Assistant Groundskeeper to boot. Very full course load already, from what he said.'

'About time, really. He's been there for ages!'

'Yeah, but he only published his tenth paper last month so it wasn't a sure thing until now. You know how he is, that man always proceeds with great caution.' Ginny paused a moment before going on. 'He's dating someone new, as well.'

The glint in Ginny's eyes told her immediately that this would be a sumptuous piece of gossip, and it caused Hermione to eagerly lean forward in spite of herself as the strain that existed between Ginny and her finally lifted. 'Really, who? Not back together with Parvati, is he?'

'Oh, no, nothing so pedestrian.' Ginny grinned. 'See, it's a secret but he had to tell me as I happen to work closely with this person. You know them very very well, by the way.'

'So, someone from your team?' Ginny nodded eagerly.

'If Neville's gone for a man, I'd be surprised.' she tested. Ginny grinned wider. 'So, it's a man? Good God, it's not Viktor, is it?'

'No, and no.' Ginny was almost hopping in her seat.

'Is it Erinyes?' Hermione tested, hoping again to be very wrong. Ginny's eyes glinted. 'It is, isn't it?' Hermione croaked.

'Oh, don't be sour about it.' Ginny exclaimed. 'It is indeed Erinyes Dalca, the Fury set to surpass me in the 'most valuable player' contest.'

'You are the absolute worst at cheering up, you know that?' Hermione remarked, feeling very sour indeed and not seeing the need to hide it however much Ginny couldn't have known this would annoy her. 'Besides, you're a better choice this season. She missed that idiot in the national game, where was he from?'

'France.' Ginny supplied.

'Yeah, that one. Courmier. Huge blunder.' she bit her lip angrily, hoping the subject would naturally change itself. 'It should be the player who has done no such stupid thing, in my opinion.'

'I've been thinking of setting up a sanctuary for wrackspurts over there,' Luna pointed to the far corner of the garden where a little Ash tree stood, 'it would make for a very relaxing atmosphere, wouldn't it?'

'How about some birds instead?' Hermione supplied in relief. 'I mean, what if someone is in the midst of an important train of thought when they wander into the wrackspurt area?'

'Phoenixes!' Luna exclaimed happily. 'Or perhaps blue tits!'

'Blue tits, definitely.' Ginny smiled.

'I should get going. Could I bother one of you to box up some pasties and cakes to bring home?' Hermione sighed, draining her teacup.

Luna grabbed her wand from behind her ear and waved it decisively. 'I'll follow you out, there might be customers.'

Two large boxes of food were waiting on the counter when they got out and Hermione thanked Luna profusely when the blonde refused payment and then left through the muggle-entrance and apparated from a little alley down the street to her muggle cottage from whence she stepped back through the portal to the island home. She drew a deep breath, offfered her blood, and stepped again back into her house.

Bellatrix was still in the kitchen, looking at her spoon. Hermione walked over and deposited the boxes on the counter, finding herself attempting to draw deep breaths, her heart hammering in her ears. This whole day was wrong wrong wrong.

'Did you know that I worked as a Curse Breaker for several years?' she found herself asking.

'Hm?' Bellatrix's eyes lifted to gaze at Hermione's ponytail.

'Sometimes, after a particularly difficult excursion, we'd have to take a few days. We'd let off steam in many... unsavoury ways, I suppose. But it was a lifeline for us. It alienated some people in my life, that I couldn't talk to them about some of the things I saw. The way they affected me.'

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows. 'Are you trying to relate to me?'

'No, that would be ridiculous.', Hermione snorted derisively. 'I'm merely trying to explain that I think you're human. What you said before... about wanting yourself back. I understand that. I think we can do it.' She turned on her heel and fixed Bellatrix with a decisive look. 'I assume you're ready for our little mission today?'

Bellatrix nodded coolly, a pink blush creeping up her face.

A/N: So, first of all I'd like to apologize for my very delayed update. Life is super busy, but I'll try to be more timely from now on. This chapter is a more lighthearted installment, but I felt that was borderline necessary at this point. Still, we're getting closer to the meatier parts of our tale, so yay for that. Enjoy and please review!