THE NEXT MORNING

As she opened her eyes, all she saw was a big, white opening. At first everything was blurry, but then her vision cleared up and she started putting the pieces together. She smelled burned metal and smoke. She felt an immense pressure on her left leg. She felt something sharp impaling her limb and as she extended a shaking hand to the hurt area, she touched something wet.

She started to panic and her breath was fast and uneven.

No, she thought. Not again.

Scared to raise her head and look around, she shut her eyes tightly, hoping she would wake up. But she didn't.

All she wanted to do was to open her eyes, but to open them and face the reality, not a dream. But the pain in her leg was more than throbbing, so she knew she was there again. So the only thing she could do was look up. Face the past. The past would always come back haunting.

She discovered what she knew so well. The woods. There were the plane parts, all wrecked and covered in mud and soot. The part that was over her leg was a big portion of what used to be the aircraft. She tried to lift it up, but she couldn't. Her whole body was shaking and shock and pain traveled throughout her.

She opened her mouth to scream for help, but nothing came out. She was unable to form any words, not even a whisper. But despite the fact that no sound came out of her mouth, her throat still hurt like all she did was screamed.

Still, she was able to hear. She heard a muffled scream somewhere far away. Somebody else was screaming a name; repeating it again and again. Aside all of the overwrought sounds, one that was louder than all was a frantic, concerned voice calling her; repeating her name.

When she opened her eyes a second time, she looked around rapidly only to find her familiar bedroom and a firm hand on her right shoulder.

"Arizona," she heard the same voice again, and she turned to see Amelia. "Are you okay?"

Arizona sighed in relief; it was just a dream, again. She ran a hand through her hair and shook her head. "I'm fine, go back to sleep."

"Arizona, you were screaming and kicking. What was that about?" Arizona looked at her again, the nightstand lamp giving off a dim light, and as if she read her mind, Amelia released a breath, saying, "Oh, the plane crash again."

The blonde nodded. She was still trembling a little. She reached over to the nightstand and checked the hour. "We still have a few more hours, you should really rest."

Even though she was thrown back in time in her dream, she still knew very well what was going on in the present. They still needed their space, the time to think.

"Look, I know we're not all pink and bright right now, but I can be here if you need me," Amelia was kind, but her attitude was still dispersed.

Arizona flashed a small smile and replied, "It's okay; it's the usual nightmare, nothing different." But she lied. This time the pain was worse, more realistic and lifelike than ever.

Amelia nodded and went back to sleep. Arizona tried to do so too, but she couldn't. Usually after such nightmares, she was reminded of the disaster and what followed. So she stared at the ceiling until she couldn't bear any more thinking and staring.

She stood up and quietly picked out some clothes. If she couldn't sleep, at least she'd go in and see if there's anything she can do. Start her day early and do more.

Before she exited the room, she took one last glance at Amelia and sighed. It was their first real fight and she despised being this distant from Amelia; and it had been just one night. She already hated it.

She arrived in the hospital quickly and as soon as she changed in her scrubs, she went down to the ER. Owen was there, arranging some files.

"Hey there," Arizona smiled at him. "Are you on-call?"

Owen returned Arizona's smile. "I am, but as far as I know you're not. What are you doing here?"

"I… couldn't sleep. I had one of the nightmares and… here I am," she said.

"Right," he said empathetically. "Well, there are no emergencies for now, but there are surgeries."

"Exactly, so I'm going to get started."

Looking at the board, she saw she actually had plenty of surgeries for the day. Maybe she should just burry herself in procedures and saving people and the time would just pass. She knew it was no fix, but she wanted an escape for a bit.

She started an early round on her patients, pleased to discover everyone was doing just fine. When she reached Coleen Jones' room, she noticed her light was on and she was reading, not like the other patients who were asleep.

"Good morning Colleen," Arizona said, entering the room.

"Morning Dr. Robbins. How come you're here so early?" She put her book down and turned her attention to the blonde.

"Rough night, shall we say," Arizona said as she listened to the patient's heartbeat. "So I'm getting more work done."

"That's a really good way to turn a bad day into a good one," the patient admitted.

"I've always looked for the positive side in anything," Arizona said, grinning. As she checked the fetus, she asked, "And you? How come you're not sleeping?"

"Baby's kicking. When he's active, I can't really rest."

"Well, he is doing great. Active is good. And your incision is healed, which means you can go home," the fetal surgeon announced.

"Really? Oh, that's great," Colleen sighed in relief.

"I'm going to come back later with the discharge papers," Arizona said, making her way to the door. "And you know; rest up." They both laughed and Arizona went on to do her first surgery.

That's what she did all day. Surgeries; saved lives. She didn't go to the cafeteria, or to the attending's lounge. She didn't really see any of her friends today, only Alex a couple of times. She wanted to ask him about Amelia, whether he'd seen her or not, but she thought better of it. She knew there'd be questions in a way or another and she was in no mood of answering any. So she just did her job.

When she finished her work, she changed and decided it was time to go home. As she waited for the elevator, she checked her clock and to her surprise, it was almost 11 PM.

When did time fly…?

At home all the lights were out, expect for a dim light coming the bedroom. Making her way to the room, she realized Amelia was reading. Or had been reading. Now her eyes were closed and the book on her stomach, unclosed. Usually when she was tired, she'd just go to sleep. She was obviously tired, but tried to stay awake. She fell asleep waiting for Arizona.

She tried to move silently, but the other woman still woke up. "Hey." Her sleepy voice made Arizona's head turn. "I haven't seen you all day."

"Yeah, I know, I… I couldn't sleep, so I went to work," she said as she took her clothes and prosthetic off. "And at work I operated all day. I didn't even realize how time passed."

"Oh…" Amelia looked away. "I was kind of worried this morning, since you were gone. But I figured you might be there."

Arizona was climbing in the bed when she asked the brunette how her day went.

"It was good, I did the same thing. Worked," Amelia replied and hesitantly asked, "Do you want to talk about… last night?"

She did. Arizona really did want to talk. She shook her head and answered, "Not now. I'm exhausted. But I will want to." Her response didn't take Amelia by surprise. As if she was expecting it, Amelia nodded and showed a weak smile. They lay down and again, they turned away from each other.

I really hate this, Arizona last thought before she fell asleep.

FIVE DAYS LATER

It was 9 PM. The two women were sitting at the dinner table, eating take-out. They were talking more now, so when they left from work they decided to grab some food and eat together at home. Yet, the atmosphere was still stiff. The troubling subject was yet not brought up.

They made small talk over work related stuff and even laughed a bit, but they still felt a bit reserved from each other. Truth was, both of them were afraid to bring up the subject. So they didn't.

After wishing each other good night, they lay down. This time though none of them turned their backs to each other. Not like in the previous nights. This time they both lay on their backs, a bit closer to each other. Truly, every night since the fight, even though they weren't facing the other one, they still lay closer and closer to each other, closing the gap between them gradually. Letting each other in again, slowly.

And this time their shoulders were almost touching. This time they could hear each other's short breaths and if they listened carefully, the other one's rapidly beating heart.

It came as a surprise to both of them when Amelia reached over to take Arizona's hand. Arizona's heartbeat went even crazier, but she didn't hesitate to take it. The connection between the two was growing. Slowly, and painfully, but it was growing.

When they woke up next morning their hands were still linked together.

Soon, Arizona thought and smiled.

THREE DAYS LATER

They were definitely making progress. They were talking freely to each other, laughing. They drove to work together and when they had a free evening they sat down to watch the TV. At night they fell asleep facing each other.

But every time Amelia extended her hand to take Arizona's, she did it hesitantly. And when Arizona smiled and took her hand confidently, courage and hope grew bigger and bigger in their hearts.

However, since that morning, they hadn't kissed. They held hands and shared a few kisses on the cheek, but not the real, passionate kind that makes you want more. The one that makes you long for the person you love.

One night they were watching a crappy movie and laughing about the smallest things when Arizona turned her head to look at Amelia, watching her radiant smile and her eyes shining happily. They were having fun, feeling happy after so long.

Noticing she was the only one laughing, Amelia looked at Arizona and her laugh died out, but her smile still remained. Arizona looked at her with her dreamy eyes, and said, "I really missed you."

"I missed you too," Amelia tiled her head and her smile faded too, her eyes moving from Arizona's eyes to her lips. In that moment they both realized how long it has been since they kissed. And the way they were sitting reminded Arizona the first time they were both here, the first time Amelia kissed her.

She smiled at the memory, and repeated Amelia's movements from months ago. She took her face in one hand and she drew closer to the other woman. Ignoring her heart beat like crazy again, she finally closed the gap between them completely. Amelia's lips were soft as always, warming and welcoming. Amelia kissed her back harder and enjoyed the moment to its fullest. When they parted from each other, smiles showed on the two woman's faces.

Amelia stood up and extended her hand without hesitation to the blonde and said, "Come on; it's been a long day." She was clearly thinking of that night too. Arizona laughed and followed her lead to the bedroom.

As they lay down in bed, Arizona cuddled in Amelia's arms, finally connecting, finally letting each other in fully.

At last, Arizona thought happily.

THE NEXT DAY

"So I had Edwards on my service today," Arizona said as she took off her coat and her bag. She kicked off her shoes and went to the kitchen. "She's pretty good."

"Well you obviously didn't get to spend enough time with her because she's more than 'pretty good'", Amelia said defensively, following the blonde. "She's got big talent."

"Yes, for neuro. She's clearly made for it," Arizona continued. "I was just saying don't worry, I'm not stealing her. She's in love with you and your field." She laughed and started preparing the dinner.

"Well, what can I say? I'm hard not to fall for," she joked.

"That's true," Arizona smiled and winked at her.

Amelia laughed but then got serious. It was inevitable. At one point, they had to discuss it. It couldn't stay in the dark forever. This wasn't something they'd just hide under the rag and forget about it. No, this was important.

"I want to do it," Amelia suddenly said. Arizona turned to her. At first she was confused, but then she got it. "I want to have a baby with you, a family. I want to see him or her grow. I want to be a mother." Amelia showed a frail smile. "But if it happens again, if by any chance the baby's not going to make it again… it'll be the end of me." Arizona frowned and approached her. "I will never be able to recover."

Arizona looked at her not with pity, but with compassion. "Look, Amelia, I can't promise you everything will go as planned. I can't promise you there won't be any surprises or bumps in the road. I can't promise anything. That's not up to me and you know it very well." Amelia nodded slowly and bit her lower lip. "But," Arizona's voice shifted to a happier one, remaining to its soft tone, "what I can tell you for sure is what will come after. If everything's good, if everything goes well… it'll be like something you've never experienced before. It'll be a whole new and different level of happiness and satisfaction."

Amelia smiled genuinely and her eyes were shining. There were tears, yes, but Arizona hoped to God they were happy tears. She continued. "And no matter how this goes down, I'll be here. I'll stay by your side. If we get there, we'll get through it together. I won't leave you."

Amelia stood up from the chair she was sitting on and kissed Arizona devotedly. She hugged her lovingly, like life would take her away from her. Arizona meant every word she said. Whatever happened, they had each other.

As they parted, Arizona asked her, "So are you sure?"

Amelia nodded, and said, "I'm sure. I want this."