Chapt. 31

I walked into the kitchen and smiled as I watched Matt wash off his breakfast dishes and put them into the dishwasher. His luggage by the door, proof that I had been right the night before. He wasn't going to wake me before he left. I'd be upset if I thought that his heart wasn't in the right place.

"Were you really planning to leave out and not wake me mister?"

He spun with a sheepish look on his face. "Well, I um… I mean, you looked so peaceful."

I laughed. "I knew that you would say that, and that is why I set my alarm to get up. I know you mean well. I just like to say goodbye when you go."

"But, Claire, you don't get nearly enough sleep as it is, and today was your off day so you could catch up on that. I didn't want to disturb you is all."

I smiled at him and walked to where he stood. Wrapping my arms around his trim waist I smiled up at him, almost giggling. Lord how people would get the wrong idea about us if they only observed. "Matt, you don't disturb me at all. What if something happened and I never saw you again? I'd forever regret not having this moment."

"Oh now don't go putting that bad voodoo on me," he laughed. He lowered his head and kissed mine. I sighed and snuggled closer to him.

"Why, oh why can't you just be straight sir? Life would be so much easier, for both of us."

I felt him smile against my head, knowing that he had taken no offense to what I had said. It was, in fact, something that we kidded about regularly. Facts were, we had a moment when we had thought I could be what 'straightened him out' so to speak, but he is who he is and I love him just that way. I looked up at him, smiling and rose on my tip toes to kiss his nose.

He smiled. Such a beautiful smile. "Ahh, yes, if only I were straight then life would be grand eh? I'd know who to love and who would love me and we'd both have a happily ever after."

"Truth in those words, always," I smiled. "But I love you just as you are today and that is just enough for me to smile and be truly happy."

His smile softened and he leaned down, and for the first time in years he let his lips brush against mine. I felt my body go stiff and wondered what he was doing. I felt the pressure from his lips on mine, his arms tightening around me, pulling me closer to him. His tongue grazed past his lips, to brush mine and almost against my will I returned that to him. Suddenly a simple goodbye had turned into a kiss that shouldn't be.

He broke away from me, both of our breathing ragged and our eyes full of confusion. "I'm sorry," he said. "Sometimes I think I just need to feel that love that is just out of reach. I really should be going though. I can't miss my plane."

I nodded, fully understanding. "Be safe Matt. And please be in touch. I um, well I think I'll start looking for an apartment in Orlando this week too."

"You should doll, you should." One last kiss to my forehead and he was gone.

Two hours later I had woken up from my nap and decided to pull up my email and see if maybe I had heard back from Steve. I was ready to make life decisions, but really permanence at the Performance Center was what so many of those decisions hinged on. I had thought about the request I had sent him, about coming off of the road and taking a full time position solely at the center, and I had realized that it was exactly what I had wanted. I liked the travel and such, but I loved the whole atmosphere of the Performance Center.

Opening up my email, I saw his reply waiting and clicked on it. It had been sent only a few moments before. I clicked on it and began to read his reply.

"I apologize for the time it has taken for my response. I wanted to have as much accurate information as possible before I got back into touch with you. I have spoken with others here at the Center and looked for a way to make your request possible. We do have one position here that would be a permanent spot, and while it would not result in a pay cut, it wouldn't require as much in depth work on your part I don't think. It is technically listed as a personal data entry position and would entail you keeping detailed records of each person who is in training at the center. You'd have their admission files, personal information, health records, and so on. In addition to this you would be solely responsible for maintaining and updating these files weekly, or as often as needed given injuries and the like. It isn't an easy job by any means, but it isn't the hardest either. It would be a Monday through Friday, eight to five position. I don't know if this is in your interests at all but it is there for your consideration. As for the overseas trip, I am glad that you've decided to go for this. If you need anything in preparation for the trip, please do not hesitate to let me know. Think over the given position and let me know your stance on that as well. If you need anything, at all, please let me know."

Well, that was definitely a permanent position for sure, and wouldn't take away my pay. If I was honest though, this wasn't about pay at all. I really just wanted a bit of stability in life and a position like this one would give that to me. I'd still get to know the new recruits and such and it could really be a fun thing.

"Steve, how would this affect my present position? It definitely sounds like something that I would enjoy taking on, if it is something that will not leave you in a bind." I hit send and sat back to wait on his reply. I saw the humor in the fact that on my one off day, here I was, dealing with work issues. But they were issues that had to be dealt with, and no better time than now.

The computer dinged with his reply, one sent through instant messenger. "Claire, you do realize that this is your off day and we can discuss all of this tomorrow?"

"Yes, I do, but I have nothing else going on so why not get the details now and start thinking on my decision?"

"Do you ever take a day off entirely? Okay, So, this position that I had told you about will officially be opening up in three weeks. In that time, I will ask that you train someone to fill your shoes in your current role. I plan to have the replacement for you chosen before the overseas trip so that they can go with you and see what it is you do. Once you are home, you will spend time in your role now as well as a few hours a day training in the new position. I will not be your supervisor in the new role, you'd answer to Sean. He's a good guy though and I wouldn't put you with him if I thought he wasn't."

I took a deep breath and thought about working for someone who wasn't Steve. It had been so long since that had been the case, and I wondered if it would be odd. "Okay, I can handle that then. Thank you Steve. So much."

"Of course, and please Claire, if you need anything at all at any point, do not think that you can't come to me still."

"Thank you." I signed out of my email and started the search for an Orlando based apartment. It looked like I'd be in that town permanently now, so it was time. I looked up around my room and knew that I would miss this place. It was my first home of my own. My first escape and my first taste of independence. I loved this house and town and all that came with it. Yes, I would miss it, but I knew too that I would always have it to come back too whenever I needed too.

NIC—2 Weeks later….

THE WEEK OF THE OVERSEAS TRIP

So, Claire was going to be coming on the trip to the UK and Europe. I knew that I shouldn't care or look forward to it at all, but damn it I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to plan a day that would show her that yes, I did love her. A day that would show her that I could treat her right and make her happy, and I knew just the way to do that. We would be in Ireland the last few days of the trip and even had a day or two off there. I was working on a surprise for her there, something she wouldn't forget anytime soon. I could see the smile on her face already.

I needed to pack, I knew, but my mind hadn't been in it I guess. I'd been far too busy planning out a day to take her breath away. Now here I was, having to leave out for Raw in three days, then hopping a plane straight to France. If I didn't get started packing now, I'd never be ready in time.

Grudgingly I shut down the computer and headed to my room. I grabbed the suitcases out of my closet and then stood, hands on my hips, staring at the closet. Had I seriously not thought to check the weather over there? Yeah, my head was definitely not in the game this week. At all.

Four hours later, I was up to date on the weather and packed for the next three weeks' worth of traveling. Now I had to go through my fridge and clear out all of those things that would spoil before I made it back home. As I opened the door and began to go through things, I wondered if any of the other guys did this same thing. It was a lesson that I had learned the hard way. Nothing like coming home on a high from your first overseas trip, hungry, and opening up your fridge only to be hit foulest smell you can imagine. Spoiled milk and food had stank up my then small apartment for a good week. Now, when the new guys would come to me and ask for tips and pointers, this was one of the very first things I schooled them in.

The rest of the night, my mind kept drifting to Claire and Ireland. My nerves were already on fire, but I knew that this was my best chance to show her how I truly felt about her. Words were nothing without the actions to back them, and it was time for me to stop talking so damn much.