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The Borgias S3E10
Ch 7 Where Sorrow Does Not Bind Us
The hour was still early; Lucrezia had excused herself and retired much earlier than she and Cesare were accustomed to; as such Micheletto was still sitting at the dining table, finishing the last of the wine from dinner and about to get up and go get another, when Cesare sailed into the room and slid into a seat nearest his friend with such a sense of urgency that he almost toppled off of it.
"What's this?" Micheletto grunted at him as Cesare's eyes bore wildly into his own.
Cesare gave a good glance about every corner of the rooms surrounding them, checking for anyone who might be lurking therein, before he leaned conspiratorially into his alarmed friend and spoke again.
"What happened in the canoe today, brother?" The words issued at Micheletto in a hushed, almost angry rush.
"What?"
"The canoe...today...with Lucrezia."
Micheletto's mind went to the absolute worst thoughts that he could imagine; had she felt shame? Guilt? Had she caught a delayed case of disgust at the very idea of him? Had her recrimination sent her brother angrily to him then, seeking retribution? Micheletto braced himself. "Is there a complaint?"
"A complaint? Ha!" came Cesare's ironic guffaw at him. "What happened?" he demanded again.
"You were otherwise engaged, she was frightened—I comforted her; we have had several conversations about the state of affairs between us all, of late—I dared to admit my truest feelings for her; I kissed her hand and left I it that. I thought that I had been a comfort to her, which appeared to be the case at the time. Apparently I was wrong."
An incredulous guffaw from Cesare then. "Come with me—" He rose up from his chair and took Micheletto roughly by an arm.
"She's reported me to you, I assume, and you are, neither one of you, pleased." Micheletto's statement was an grim accusation.
"I am confounded, brother."
"Watch it, there, Cesare—I thought you wanted this—" Micheletto hissed, bristling at Cesare's brusque hand which was suddenly upon him; somehow he managed to hold his temper.
She's upset; you are faced with the truest consequence of what it means to engineer a fantasy to reality—and it's too much, apparently for either of you to go through with. Why don't you just say so, Cesare?
Cesare kept hold of Micheletto and pulled him along the way to the second floor, still keeping a watchful eye out for any wayward witnesses to their little confrontation or their intended rendezvous.
"You have been summoned, brother," Cesare informed him quietly as they rushed along.
"What?"
"Whatever else happened, or didn't, Micheletto, has sent our Lady into a frenzy of desire, it seems."
"What?" Micheletto was truly dumbfounded.
At that point they were at the door of the bedroom Lucrezia had chosen for herself; Cesare pushed his friend roughly against it and pinned him there, in a manner as seductive as it was menacing.
"She desires to know, Micheletto, this night, right now, what it will be like—with the both of us."
Micheletto could not believe that he had heard Cesare's words correctly. "What? Now?"
Cesare rolled his eyes hard up into his head then as a definite and quite disconcerting little smile broke out upon his face. My words exactly... he assured his friend silently as he grabbed Micheletto by the collar of his shirt with one hand, opened the door with the other and pushed the bewildered man into Lucrezia's room.
"Gentlemen." Lucrezia greeted the two men quietly.
Upon her face was a smile of intrigue as she sat up on her side of the bed where Cesare had left her, naked under the cover. Looking luminous in the glowing candlelight she eyed her two charges, regarding them both very carefully. The curious mix of anger and excitement on her brother's face at her, for some reason, gave her sinful pleasure.
And so, he is a little jealous, I see it; he is amazed; eager—unbelieving that I could do such a thing and that such a thing is happening, yet wanting it with his whole selfish heart. Yes, he is jealous; and a little worried, too. Good. I think. But what do I know? Especially of such things as this? I have seen Alphonso at his worst against me, entertaining three whores at a time; a point he needed to make to me after Lucia left him. But it was just fucking; soulless; their abilities impressive enough to me, at that most-jaded and detached point in my life, to where I remember wishing that I had laurel wreaths to bestow upon them all when it was done. Yes, it was soulless; without any love or even true passion. And still there was competition between the whores over him.
Is it better that way, then? But I love them. Both. Differently. And maybe not so. Micheletto knows passion; feels it—he expressed it quite well to me. Look at him—I must not laugh now, but he is adorable standing there looking so thunderstruck—and eager, as well. My heart swells in a completely other way for him and I want to know him. He has a way about himself that makes me go all wet just thinking of it; of his sweet, slow seduction over these last hungry months; the idea that such a handsome, stealthy, quiet and devastating assassin has a place in his heart for me.
And, so now, here they are; will there be a competition? Will I be surprised by the answer? Hurt? Will they? Can this all end any possible way other than badly?
"Lucrezia?" It was Cesare calling softly to her. "We don't...this isn't..."
Ever able to read Cesare's thoughts, and so much more easily in that instant, Micheletto grunted the completion of Cesare's concern at her next. "He is right, little sister, if you don't—"
"But I do," Lucrezia cut him off with a sweet smile at them both; she pulled the cover slowly down to reveal her exquisite alabaster body and moved to the middle of the bed, the silent invitation apparent to both men.
"Uh..." Cesare was unable to stammer another word as he looked nervously over at Micheletto, who duly ignored him, lost in his own endeavor to try and pull himself together.
Do we undress? Join her naked, together? She is waiting for us, now; why do I know not what to do? Why won't my feet move? That is my sister; my love; my Lucrezia; I should be taking command of this situation! Shouldn't I? Is it supposed to be this difficult?
Micheletto answered one question for himself and Cesare both at that moment as he walked slowly over to the bed and took his place upon it at Lucrezia's left side; she took one his hands into her own, then turned to Cesare and held her other out to him.
"Cesare?"
"Oh...uh..." he gave them both a sheepish smile and joined her at her other side upon the bed.
"That was awkward, I think," Lucrezia joked them both as she held their hands but looked down at her own lap with a skittish little smile upon her face.
Cesare chuckled lightly as Micheletto let out an amused grunt at her honest observation.
"That's better—you are at ease, brother," Lucrezia kissed the back of his hand, then turned to Micheletto and kissed the back of his. "And I have garnered that which is most-elusive, where you are concerned, dear Micheletto...your smile."
"Is that what passes for a smile these days?" Cesare joked them both, to which Lucrezia gave him a playful, but reprimanding tweak to his nose.
Micheletto endured Cesare's ribbing about the almost unchanged look on his face, which only hinted at a smile. "Contrary to popular belief, Lucrezia, that you have," Micheletto concurred; he raised himself up a bit to free enough of the sheet to cover her back up with; he looked over at Cesare, who clearly appreciated his thoughtful gesture, and then back into her eyes. "Point taken, little sister."
"What point is that, Micheletto? Do you think that I have changed my mind? I haven't." She turned and looked her confirmation at Cesare, as well. "It is time to clear some things up, brothers..."
Lucrezia slid down into the bed and turned her back to Cesare, then pulled him close to her as she guided his hand to fondle her bare breast under the sheet; Cesare settled her against himself properly and cradled her in the crook of his arm; she turned back to Micheletto and put an arm about his waist, forcing him to cuddle close to her, as well. Again, both men looked at each other, happy to be holding her, yet unsure of the next step to be taken.
"We've had a few discussions, Cesare, Micheletto and I," Lucrezia began as she looked over her shoulder at her brother, daring herself to concentrate on her words instead the warm, lovely tingliness between her thighs being induced by his pinch to her nipple.
"Have you?" Cesare smiled down at her. "And what did you discuss?"
"Kiss me first, brother."
Cesare gave an uncomfortable look at Micheletto but followed her command easily.
"You, of course," she said when their lips parted; she gave a quick, impish look back at Micheletto to find his smile, which was more of a knowing smirk, directed at them both.
"When have you thought of me, Micheletto? And what did you possibly feel for me?" Lucrezia guided his hand in hers to her other breast.
"Ah...so we go right into it, then?"
"Yes, Micheletto," Lucrezia smiled broadly at him, her tongue in her cheek, "as you always do with me. Do you like that?"
Micheletto glanced at Cesare before he answered her, and found that Cesare appeared as eager for his reply as Lucrezia was.
"I do."
"I do, as well. And so you felt for me?" Lucrezia prodded him through a swoon, going with her salacious little moment as she strongly contemplated suggesting that they all cease and desist from using any further words, at all.
"I felt grateful that I had secured your trust...and I loved you for it."
Micheletto's revelation was simple yet profound and it sobered Cesare and Lucrezia both; he stopped fondling her breast and instead, let it rest lightly upon it.
"When...when was this?" Lucrezia asked, suddenly unable to look at him; above her, Micheletto could see that he had Cesare's full attention, as well.
"The first time...when the Tigress organized the plot to kill you all at your mother's palazzo. Cesare and I put all of the assassins down and we found you; you handed Giovanni to me...as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It is an honor to be trusted by a child—even more so to be trusted with a child. I held him up, reveling in the wonder of him; the horror of what could have happened...your mother saw the darkness in me—for I was thinking, at the moment she took him away from me, with sure fear in her eyes directed at me...of the murderous spree I would have lost myself in, had even one hair on any of your heads been harmed." Micheletto took his hand away from her breast and put a finger to her chin, and turned it up for her eyes to meet his own to bear the full weight of his words; when he was satisfied that she understood him he looked into the eyes of his friend and lover.
"I do remember that..." Lucrezia smiled beneath them, amazed that such a horrible memory could be tempered by anything at all, even a happy a revelation.
"Joy where you dare to find it," Cesare murmured at Micheletto through the knowing smile forming on his own face.
"What?" asked Lucrezia.
"I'll explain later, my love," Cesare smiled down at his sister then.
"That moment, Micheletto? Has brought us to this..." Lucrezia's muse was a wistful one.
"And another. In Venice, when I brought Rodrigo to your bosom at Lady Caracciolo's palazzo...and the babe would not be comforted by you. I wanted to comfort you. And again, when I came to spirit him back to Bari. I wanted to do more than plant a bereft and brotherly kiss atop your head. I wanted to hold you; stay with you...at least, until your own tears abated; the ones that you so bravely held at bay for the few moments that I had to be with you."
That revelation left Lucrezia speechless.
"In that moment, Lucrezia, you loved me; you said so. And I loved you more than any woman I've ever dared to, that was not my mother; in a manner...that surprised me—and also, did not. I would have to say, in this moment, as well, together as we are, for once, where sorrow does not bind us."
But doesn't it? And has this really been my life? So much sorrow...that has now brought us to this foreign place.. Lucrezia began to lose herself in the memory and then the incredible fact that her brother had kept his promise and reunited her with Rodrigo; that it wasn't her particular sorrow any longer.
"Lucrezia—"
Still she was speechless, and was only able to nod her attention at Micheletto.
"Lucrezia..." It was Cesare, then, trying to bring her out of their sad past and back to himself and Micheletto in their present.
"But...I...you..." she stammered at Micheletto, shocked at the depth of desire radiating at her from his magnificent azure eyes. "Even as I lay here, basking in this sure love from you both and between the three of us...you and Cesare—" she looked at Cesare then, unable to form the words that expressed all of the conflicting emotions that she still felt about the three of them.
"Have been in torment these past months," Micheletto finished for her. "Do you think that we've been...able to enjoy each other under such a circumstance? The shock of you finding out about us—it's still there on your face; you are still trying to understand and that understanding actually evades you, even as we all lay here together. But understand this, Lucrezia: neither of us could do such a thing; would not endeavor to lock you out of our hearts; such a thing is not possible; nor would we behave in such a way as to be locked out of yours; it has been like the days of old between Cesare and me, Lucrezia. Even the idea of having our pleasure at the expense of your heartbreak—we have not done it—not in Santo Domingo. And we had not planned to do so here. All of this freedom to live as we choose to—"
"And still we did not, Sis; would never," Cesare finished for Micheletto.
"You haven't...in all of this time?" She asked of Cesare. "Since you came from Italy?" she asked of Micheletto.
"We have not. We've spent our time together, in our long, private moments when work was no more and sleep evaded us—pining. For you." Micheletto gave a kiss to her forehead.
"But..."
"Our kiss that you witnessed from the stairs that night—was our last."
"What?" from Cesare, for it was the first he'd heard of it.
"She saw us that night, Cesare, my first night in Santo Domingo," Micheletto told him.
"And so you thought—oh, Sis...I'm so sorry..."
"And so we have all been deprived...and I am right to want this—to want you both." She looked to both men who each nodded their confirmation at her in their turn.
"Yes, Lucrezia—I think that you can see, by now...we both want you...that we want to give you your pleasure; together; that we would like for you to do us the honor—of being ours..." said Micheletto as he nuzzled her neck and planted his first sensual kiss upon her there.
"And for you to allow us the honor of being yours," Cesare said then as he turned her face so that her lips could meet his.