**I OWN NONE OF THE CONTENT RELATED TO PS I LOVE YOU, WHETHER DIRECT QUOTE OR SIMPLY THE IDEA, AND ALL CREDIT FOR THAT BELONGS TO THE AUTHOR: CECELIA AHERN.**

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Chapt. 37

CLAIRE

I'd been avoiding Colby since we'd left France three days ago. Yes, I'd enjoyed every bit of my time with him. Very much in fact, but I didn't want to be just a sex thing and that was plainly what it was with him. He had text many times and was nice enough in those texts, but it was always about a hook up or something. I was too old for that game, so I avoided him and he kept sending the texts saying just how great our sexual chemistry was and updating me on his room number, ya know, just in case.

He was right about the sexual chemistry. Sex had never been better than it had been with him, but at this stage in life there was more than just a ridiculous sexual chemistry required. I needed someone to touch my mind and heart and soul just as beautifully as they touched my body. Besides, I wasn't sure that his style of sex was what I needed in my life. I needed a soft, tender side in a lover. Night like those with Colby should be an every so often kind of thing, not every night kind of thing.

There was a knock on my office door, pulling me from my thoughts, and I was a bit more than thankful. "Come in," I called, trying to refocus my attention back to the work in front of me.

"Hey kiddo," Nic said, coming in. He handed me a coffee and grinned. "Irish crème coffee for the sweet Irish lass." He even executed a grand bow to go with the most horrid Irish accent I'd ever heard.

Laughing, I gave him a proper Irish lilt. "Well, thank you, kind sir."

His eyes twinkled as he smiled down on me. "I thought we'd never get to Ireland, but I'm so damn glad we did. I'm looking forward to tomorrow."

I nodded as I took my jacket off. This office was horribly hot. "I still wish you'd tell me what you have planned, even a hint."

His eyes flashed to my collar bone and bare skin and I watched as they changed. They had turned angry. "What the hell happened to you? Who did it?" His voice came out cold through gritted teeth.

My hand went to the skin at my neck and I was confused a moment. "What are you talking about?"

"All of these fading bruises and scratches and… are those teeth marks!"

I smiled then and felt the now all too familiar heat spread through me. Three days later and the marks from our last night together still hadn't faded away. "Oh, I uh, it's nothing at all like you're thinking," I felt a blush rising in my cheeks.

He eyed me closely, as if looking to find a hidden lie in my eyes. "These… these are sex marks?"

"That makes it sound, well, I don't know, wrong somehow."

"So, they are? Claire. That isn't how you deserve to be loved."

"And just how do you suppose it was Nic?"

"Obviously rough and animalistic. Like a dog claiming territory." He stopped worry in his eyes. "Are you seeing someone?"

"What!" I looked at him shocked. "No! Nic why would you think that?" He looked the fading marks in response. I looked down, hating the look in his eyes. It was sad almost, yet it somehow made me feel like I'd done something wrong. "There is no one Nic."

He nodded and rubbed my arm. "So, how about dinner tonight when this show wraps?"

"I'd love that."

"Okay, I'll meet you here then." He hesitated a minute before he p ulled away and then, almost as an afterthought, he leaned down and brushed his lips over mine. Then, without a word, he left, leaving my lips tingling.

NIC

We had dinner in an old, smoky, Irish pub. She had laughed and sang and danced while I just loved her more. Two hours into the night she collapsed onto the chair next to me, plunking her fourth empty Guinness bottle on the battle scarred bar. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright from dancing, and just maybe the booze.

"I'm tired, let's go Nic." She spoke loudly enough to be heard over the music.

I tossed some bills onto the bar and the bartender nodded his acknowledgement as I led her out into the cold and blustery night air. "Come on kiddo, I'll get you to your room."

"Stay," she said. She looked so happy. So bright and worry free. And she wanted me to stay.

"Stay?" I questioned her.

Her curls were bouncing wildly around her face as she nodded. "Yes! Get your things and stay. We'll have a sleepover and watch movies until we fall asleep."

I laughed at her excitement. "By watch movies until we fall asleep, I assume what you really mean is that you plan to watch PS I Love You repeatedly until we fall asleep."

"Ya know, I don't need that kind of negativity in my life Mr. Nemeth."

The smile never left her face, and neither did my eyes. "You now I'm kidding Claire. If you wanted to watch it a million times straight, I'd watch it with you a million and one just to be sure you were satisfied."

Her eyes softened and she took my hand. "Let's go," she whispered into the wind. I let her lead me, as we walked back to our hotel.

We stopped off in my room to grab my things and then went to her room. We both changed into sweatpants and t-shirts and she started the movie. Halfway through it, she'd shifted so that her head was resting on my chest and I was able to hold her.

"I'd love to find my very own Jerry," she sighed as the credits rolled.

"Why a Jerry? Why not a William? I mean here's a guy who sees this heartbroken, hurting woman, and he find this beauty in her, in the love she has that breaks her. Then, even though he's pushed away, he never gives up on her or his feelings. I'd think a William would be a damn good choice."

I stared at the screen but could feel her eyes on me. She was quiet, a sure sign that she was thinking. As the movie started for the second time, she sighed. I don't guess I've ever really looked at it that way before," her voice barely a whisper. A second later she was back focused on the movie.

I didn't know how long or at what point we fell asleep, but I figure it safe to assume I drifted off first. All I knew for certain was that when I woke up the next morning she was still in my arms. That was good enough for me.

CLAIRE

I woke to a gentle nudging and a soft voice. "Rise and shine doll face."

I cracked one eye open and saw Nic's face, finally registering the feel of his chest beneath my head. I closed my eyes back and mumbled into him, "I don't to."

"It's nine am. We have a big day ahead of us. In fact, we should be leaving out in the next half hour or so."

I groaned in protest. "Couldn't you have planned a day that started a little later? Or a lot later?"

Laughing he moved his body and I plopped down on the bed, face into the mass of pillows. Apparently this was hilarious to him because it made him laugh even harder. I moved to push him off the bed, missing wildly, swiping only air. Again, he laughed harder. "Get up princess. I can guarantee that, even though you hate me now, in a few hours that will all change."

I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes fully now, completely against my will. He was standing and pulling clothes from his bags. "Somehow I don't know that I believe that at this point."

He turned and looked down at me. His eyes were soft and smiling. "Trust me. Now get up. Dress warm and wear comfortable shoes that you can walk in and not get blisters or sore achy feet."

Groaning loudly, maybe a bit over dramatically for effect, I sat up. "I take it there's a lot of walking on our day out huh? Tell me again how I'm not going to hate you at the end of this?"

He laughed again, shaking his head as he walked to the bathroom. I really was excited and looking forward to the day ahead, but like hell I'd let him know that right now. I climbed out of the bed and began to rummage through my suitcase. I took out a pair of rust colored leggings and a khaki colored cami to put under the oversized, cowl necked sweater in shades of cream, gold, and a bronzed brown. I decided on my brown riding boots which were well broken in and would suffice for walking.

"All yours," Nic said as he walked out of the bathroom. He looked good in his jeans and long sleeved thermal shirt. His hair was up in a man bun and wore his slouchy beanie. It really was easy to see why so many women found him so very attractive.

I dressed quickly and opted for a mess, high ponytail to contain my curls. I did a quick and simple make up, wearing only browns and golds on my eyes and a sheer bronze gloss on my lips. It worked well for me and brought out the shades of gold in my red hair, highlighted my freckles which I liked today, and made my eyes pop. I grabbed a pair of gold and pearl drop earrings and once they were dangling from my ears I was ready to go.

"I'm ready, just need to grab my coat and purse," I said, walking into the room.

He turned and I watched as his eyes took me in. They traveled from my head all the way to my toes and back again, yet I didn't feel violated as I would if others had done the same thing. He gave me a whistle that said he approved and I simply felt beautiful.

"I get to take out the most stunning woman in Ireland. How is that even possible?"

"Well, when we find her, ask her." I grinned as I spoke.

He smiled and held his hand out for mine. Grabbing my coat and purse, I let his hand hold mine as we left the room. "So, I've been planning today since before I even knew that you'd be coming on this trip. Now that it's here I'm nervous as all hell that you won't like it."

"I will love it Nic, I'm sure of that, but, why plan it when you didn't even know if I would be here for it or not?"

"If I told you, you'd think I was ridiculous."

"I wouldn't."

He sighed heavily as we got into the cab and he passed a note with the destination to the driver. The driver read it over and gave a nod and a wink, an approving smile settling on his face as he pulled away from the curb. Nic looked at me and smiled, nervous energy obvious on his face.

"Me telling you would seriously ruin the day." He glanced down at his hands and then out of the window. "I didn't exactly plan it thinking that we would be in a cab one day making it happen. I planned it more or less hypothetically. I thought to myself if I could plan a day that would prove to you I was different than the other guys, a day that could show you exactly how I felt about you, well then, maybe you might be able to see me as more than just your good old buddy Nic. I went over in my mind what I could do, what would put that light in your eyes and this was it. Then I found out you'd be here and… Claire I had to take my chance."

I swallowed hard, not really knowing how to respond to that. I sat quietly thinking for a minute. Maybe he did deserve me to have an open mind about him, about possibilities that we could be great. I didn't know a lot but I did know that in that moment I felt more cared for, more special than I had in a long time. I reached out and took his hand in mine. He turned to face me and I smiled shyly at him. "Look, let's just enjoy today, whatever you have planned, and then take it as it comes, sort out whatever feelings need sorting or whatever."

"I can do that Claire."

The car slowed and came to a stop. I watched as Nic paid the driver and then opened the door. He climbed out and held his hand out to me, helping me out of the car as he shut the door. I looked around us and there was not one place I let my eyes settle on that wasn't stunningly beautiful. There was so much color still in the rolling hills and fields, the grass truly an emerald green gem. The urge to pull out my camera and capture every last angle was suffocating.

"Go on, do it," he laughed. "Take as many pictures as you want." He had his hands in his pockets and was rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he watched me. Did he really know me so well?

I took out the camera and my first picture was of him, the way he looked like a boy and yet a man all in one shot. His smile and charm shined like the landscapes that surrounded us. I turned and began to photograph the fields, doing my best to really get the true color of it all, to showcase it for the masterpiece that it was. As I glanced over my shoulder I caught Nic sneaking pictures of me and I laughed. "Come here. We have to get a picture together here."

He walked over to where I stood and took his place behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back against him, and let his chin rest on my shoulder. When he stood straight after the photo had taken, I turned to him, smiling into the wind. "This is breathtaking Nic. It all looks so very familiar and yet I know that I have never been here before."

"It's definitely familiar. Come on, let's walk this way." There was a look of mischief in his eyes and it was cute how his eyes twinkled with it.

I nodded and fell into step beside of him. We walked in such an easy silence that the sounds around us were easy to distinguish. The beauty around us seemed to just engulf us, to suck us in, and I felt that I was in some romantic fairy tale.

"Even this road seems so familiar, as if I've walked it a thousand times. It's the strangest sense of de ja vu, it's like I know that I've been here even knowing good and well that I haven't."

He took my hand then, halting our steps, and turning me to face the hills and colors of the land around us. Wrapping his arms around my waist again, he pulled me into until his lips were there at my ear. "You know this road, these fields. You know them well, Claire."

I looked around again, taking it all in, trying to place where the memory of this place was coming from. Kids and families were playing with their pets along the sides of the road and it was a wonderful sight. I stood still a few minutes, wrapped up in him, and thought about it all, until a dog's bark broke into my thoughts. I blinked and looked around me again, suddenly realizing just how I knew this place.

My hands gripped his and I tried to blink away the tears that were stinging my eyes. I turned to him, amazed that he had put this thought into me while I had just seen my friend. "Oh, Nic," I sighed. "This is the road that Holly and Jerry met on!"

"Mhm, that it is doll."

"How did you know?"

He laughed lightly, the sound carried away by the wind. "I did plenty of research beautiful."

I wiped at the tears and shook my head. "No one has ever done something like this for me. It's just too much."

He looked down into my eyes and in his I finally saw what so many had tried to tell me was there. I saw love. "I knew you'd said that Claire. I promise you, it is not too much. Nothing that brings you happiness could ever be too much."

NIC

I knew that no truer words had ever left my mouth. No matter what it was, if it brought this woman one small ounce of happiness, then it truly would never be too much. Kissing her right then crossed my mind, but I waited. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I did, but instinctively I knew where that would happen. I knew that it would make her even happier than she was in this moment. With her face turned up to mine, I felt that she would be more than receptive when my lips found hers again. I was thankful we didn't have much further to go before I would be able to tes that feeling.

"Come on sweet Claire, we still have a full day ahead of us. We turned to walk on and I noticed that she didn't let go of my hand. I tried to not read into too much, but I couldn't help the spark of hope that had been ignited in me.

We walked another fifteen minutes at the most before I slowed our pace and pulled her into my side. She hadn't let go of my hand once since she realized exactly where we'd been. I wondered if she'd recognize this spot easier, nestled in the cottages and the hillsides. I stood quiet as she looked around, taking it all in. The contented sighs he released, her smile, and the way she leaned into me, all of it warmed my from the inside out.

After a few silent moments I pulled her to me so that she was facing me. She was looking up at me, a smile bright enough to light any room on her face. She had truly never looked more beautiful. "This couldl be the end you know," I whispered.

Recognition flashed in her eyes, followed by a look of surprise. Then her whole face softened and she smiled even bigger as she murmured low, "the end… of what?"

"Of life, as we know it," I whispered, slowly leaning into her, giving her time to pull away if she was going to. She didn't though, and my lips touched hers, softly. I held them there, still and unmoving at first, then allowing my lips to gently move against hers. She still didn't pull away, but rather she allowed her lips to do a slow waltz with mine. She sighed, parting her lips. I felt her tongue lightly run over my bottom lip and all I could think was that yes, this truly was the end of life as I knew it. I let my tongue meet with hers and knew there'd never be a sweeter kiss between two people ever again.

When we pulled apart she sighed and let her head fall contentedly onto my chest. I couldn't resist a kiss to the top of her head. I didn't know what this would all mean tomorrow, but I knew that this wasn't the time to ask. I just hed her, reveling in the close and tender intimacy, the smell of her, unwilling to break it just yet.