Sorry if I confused anyone by changing the name of the story, but it just seemed to fit perfectly after I wrote this chapter!
Deacon pulls the truck to a stop in front of a little café in 5 Points. It's on a side street, away from the typical downtown hustle and bustle. Just a quiet place to get a cup of coffee in the morning, or a burger at noon. A place where even if they were recognized, they wouldn't be bothered. That was part of the reason they'd started coming here, especially with all the chaos of the paparazzi after the wedding. It had been hard to find any type of alone time with the girls in and out, and Rayna so busy with Highway 65.
It is impossible to miss the "We love you Rayna" poster in the window adorned with a picture of her from the last tour, a sparkling smile lighting up her face. Those posters are hanging up everywhere. Nashville loves its Queen of Country, and it isn't just him and the girls that are hurting. The whole town is. They've lost one of their own.
Sure, this town is full of country stars. But there'll never be another one who shined quite like Rayna Jaymes.
"You and Mom came here?" Daphne asks curiously as they sit in the truck while the rain and watch the early morning patrons hurry and out of the café with their Styrofoam cups of coffee and pastry bags.
"Yep. Every Wednesday. Your mom and I had this standing lunch date," Deacon says with a melancholy smile. "The last few months. We made it non-negotiable, no matter what else was going on. Kinda kept it to ourselves a little, I guess. Sometimes…" Deacon shakes his head. "Well, if I tell you, you gotta promise not to laugh. It was her idea."
"Tell us!"
"Well sometimes your mom would walk in and pretend we'd never met," he says, his grin widening. "It was like this little game we played…. She'd pretend she was new in town and looking for a guitar player. Or lost and looking for directions."
"Oh god, my parents are total nerds," Maddie shakes her head and covers her eyes in embarrassment. But she smiles anyway.
"I think I have to agree," Daphne says wryly. "Cute. But nerdy."
Funny, he'd had this conversation with Rayna just months ago in this very restaurant the last time they were here.
"I feel like I'm losing my touch with the girls, Ray. They used to think I was cool. Now I'm just this old guy who makes all the dad rules," he ran a hand through his hair. "Am I not cool?"
Rayna, sitting across the table from him, laughed so hard she almost had tears in her eyes.
"Babe, they're teenagers. They're not going to think you're cool again for at least 5 years. It's like, required."
He didn't look reassured.
She gave him a little half smile, and leaned across the table to press her lips against his. "Don't worry," she murmured. "I still think you're cool."
"Oh do ya?" he smiled against her mouth.
"Always, babe. Since the day we met."
"Sometimes in life you get so caught up in things…" Deacon says now, his voice catching. "Well we were trying real hard, you know? Trying to…keep us on track. Trying to make sure we didn't lose touch with each other."
Maddie looks guilty. "I'm sorry Dad, you know I am so sorry. I put you guys through so much last year, and you should have been celebrating being married. Us being a family," her bottom lip wavers. "If I could go back and change everything, I never would have met Cash."
"I know, sweetie, I know you're sorry. Mom knew it too. You have to believe that," he reached over and squeezed her shoulder.
But the upset look on Maddie's face says it will take a long time to stop blaming herself for all that happened with the emancipation last year.
"Let's keep going," Daphne says quickly, before the mood falls again. "I want to see more. Is there more?"
"Course there is. Off we go."
Deacon puts the truck back into gear, and they pull back out into traffic.
After a few minutes of silence, Maddie actually reaches out and flips on the radio low, and the sound of an old Randy Travis song fills their ears.
"This is one of mom's favorites," Daphne murmurs, laying her head on her sister's shoulder.
"I know," Maddie lets out a sigh. "Mine too."
Deacon almost holds his breathe as he watches them out of the corner of his eye, listening to the lyrics. They don't sing along, but that'll come in time. At least they're letting the music back in. And he knows how much they're like Rayna, how much they need it.
There is a darkness
That everyone must face
It wants to take what's good and fair
And lay it all to waste
And that darkness
Covers everything in sight
Until it meets a single point of light
All it takes is a point of light
A ray of hope in the darkest night….
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Deacon parks the truck in the stadium lot and together the three of them climb the high stairs to the pedestrian bridge over the Cumberland river. Daphne has hurried ahead, happy to lead the way. The rain had slowed now to just a few stray drops here and there, and the greyness is slowly but surely sliding away, leaving the promise of a beautiful blue cloudless sky behind. It's the first time since he can't remember when that the sun has shown itself, and it's breathtaking, the way the light is breaking through.
"We're all broken, Deacon," he remembers her saying to him at one of his lowest points. "That's how the light gets in. You just have to take those broken pieces and glue them back together into something else, something stronger."
It has never made as much sense as it does right now.
I know that's you, Ray, he thinks silently, unable to hold back a tear or two. He quickly swipes them away before the girls see. Showing us you're still here.
"I love it up here so much," Maddie says, leaning against the railing, the wind off the water blowing her hair back. "Mom used to bring us up here when we were little. Daphne you always wanted to run the whole bridge, and we'd get so tired chasing you."
"I remember," Daphne grins. "That's because the candy store was on the other side and down the street."
In his mind Deacon can see Rayna here so many times in this very spot. What would you change? Everything. Nothing at all.
"That makes two of us."
He'd change it all now, just to have her standing here next to him again, with the sun shining on her face, wearing that little smile she always saved just for him.
"This is where you asked Mom to marry you, right?" Daphne says wistfully.
"That's right," he says, "A couple times. She was kinda stubborn about it," he admits. "Maybe we both were."
"Well you know Mom," Maddie says wryly. "You had to make it her idea, or she wasn't giving in. On anything!"
He can see so much of Rayna in them when they laugh, that it leaves a bittersweet ache in his chest. She'll live on through her girls, no doubt. Every time he sees their smiles. Every time he hears them sing. They are the best legacy she could have ever left behind.
"We used to…come up here a lot to talk. And sometimes fight. And sometimes…well, sometimes we'd just stand here and she'd hold my hand and it just…made everything okay, you know?" He says quietly. She'd been the only one who ever knew completely how to tame his demons, how to calm the restlessness inside of him.
"She was good at that", Maddie says, fighting past the lump rising in her throat. "Making everything okay for us. Even after her and Teddy got divorced…she always put us first, no matter how much she was hurting."
"She did," Deacon says, voice coming out cracked. "She loved you girls more than anything in the entire world."
Maddie closes her eyes and tries to imagine it. For the first time she can see her mom as the same kind of young woman she is, with hopes and dreams for the future. Trying to look ahead, struggling to know what choices are the right ones.
Everybody makes mistakes, sweetheart. God knows I've made enough in my life. You just have to learn from them. And then dust yourself off and keep going.
I hope I can make you proud of me, Mom, she thinks silently.
Maddie reaches for her dad's hand and on the other side of her, Daphne does the same. Their eyes meet across the space in silent agreement, as if to say Mom can't hold his hand and make it okay any more, but we can.
"It feels like she's here with us," Daphne whispers. "All around us."
As they watch, the last giant black cloud floats away, and the sun finally breaks free. It is like a gentle hand is reaching right down from heaven and touching every surface with a light so bright it almost hurts their eyes.
"Look," Maddie points, tears in her eyes, as across the last stray raindrops in the sky help to create a faint rainbow across the river.
As Deacon watches, it steals the breath from his lungs for a second.
He feels her presence in that moment so strong it's almost overwhelming. You're broken, but not forever. Don't forget to let the light in, Deacon.
He doesn't know how to do that yet, but for these girls in front of him, he'll figure how to glue all these broken pieces back together, stronger than before.
"Come on," he says as they walk off the bridge all three of them hand in hand. "We have lots of places to see yet."
"I like this day," Daphne says contently, leaning her head against his arm as they walk. "Remembering her. It's much better than being sad."
"Me too, sweetheart. Me too."…..
The tour continues! Thanks so much for reading.