Late afternoon is approaching as the three of them settle side by side in the back of his truck, stretched out on a worn flannel blanket with their hands behind their heads. It is a quiet corner of Percy Warner park, off the main road aways, across an old stone bridge in a little cove surrounded by tall maple trees.
Deacon hasn't been here since last fall, when they'd been planning the wedding.
"We could do the ceremony here," Rayna had suggested. But ultimately they'd both vetoed the idea. He thought they should keep this place to themselves, and she'd agreed. It has always been one of her favorite spots in Nashville.
"Don't worry, darlin. We got time. We'll find the perfect place for the wedding."
He thinks a lot about time they'd let slip away, assuming tomorrow would always be there when the storm was over. How "we got time" had changed to "it's too late." How without her, every day seems to pass agonizingly slow, leaving a physical ache in his chest he doesn't think will ever go away. If it weren't for Maddie and Daphne, he'd have no reason for breathing right now. They are literally his lifeline, his reason for forcing his eyes open every morning.
"Deacon, what are you doing?" Rayna laughed when she saw him crossing the clearing to the treeline.
"Just putting our mark on the place," he said with a grin as he took a jackknife out of his pocket and scratched their initials into the bark of the maple tree. "I always wanted to do this."
She shook her head, but she smiled as she walked over to stand next to him, and trace her fingers over the letters in the wood. 28 years, she'd loved him. She knew without a doubt, she'd love him until she took her last breath.
"How long do you think forever is?" She said softly. "Do you ever think about that?"
He wrapped his arms around her from behind and pressed a kiss against her neck. "One second, isn't that how the saying goes?"
"Maybe," she murmured.
"Guess we'll have to stay together that long so we can find out."
He understands those words perfectly now, how one second can change everything, how it can give and take away what you thought your idea of forever was in the blink of an eye.
He knows if he walks across the wet grass to that third tree on the left, their initials will still be there, carved in the wood for all eternity, but he's not ready to face that yet.
"This is nice," Daphne sighs peacefully, her eyes closed to the sun. "No wonder Mom liked it here. It's so quiet."
"This is the first place I ever met you," Deacon says to Maddie, nudging her shoulder. "You were 8 months old. Crawling all over the place while your mama and I tried to write. I thought you were the prettiest thing I'd ever seen."
Maddie smiles, but there's a sadness around the edges, and a shadow in her eyes. "I'm glad you were there. Even if you…didn't know you were my dad then."
"She came here a lot over the years," Deacon says quietly. "Sometimes just needed to go off and be by herself for a little while. Everybody needs that once in awhile."
"I remember that one time," Maddie squints up at the sky. "When I was in second grade and I got so sick at school. And nobody could find my mom and Teddy was gone…"
"And they called me," he finishes with a nod. "I remember that. I got Rayna and we came and picked you up."
"You were the only one who knew how to find her."
"We wrote a lot of songs here, in that time in the middle…" Deacon hesitates. "Well let's just say Teddy didn't like us working together too much. So we'd come here. Sit here all afternoon and write songs and just…play music."
He can see it in his mind so clearly as if it was yesterday, a much younger Rayna sitting there on the blanket next to him with the sunlight making her hair look as if it were made of fire, a pen and a pad of paper in her hand scribbling intently.
She looks tired, but he sees the way her gaze looks up from writing and trails often to that precious baby girl sleeping a few feet away from them on the blanket. Rayna is a mama now, and she treasures that above everything else. Above albums and tour dates, above half finished songs…and above what they'd been or were now to each other. She'll always put her family first. And that's the way it should be.
Even if it hurts like hell.
He fingers the small copper piece in his pocket.
"One year, Ray," he says, unable to hide the pride in his voice. "Got my one year sober chip at last night's meeting."
"Oh Deacon, I'm so proud of you," she actually has tears in her eyes as she reaches across the blanket to hug him. It's a rarity. They stay on the other side of that line. But the hug lingers, maybe just a little longer than it should.
"Thanks for not losing faith in me, Ray."
And Rayna is full out crying when he pulls away from her.
He sees her glance at her beautiful sweet baby girl, fast asleep with the thumb in her mouth. "Deacon, I just….want to tell you…."
He doesn't know what she's holding back, but it always lingers. That sense that there's something she's leaving out.
'What, Ray?" he reaches over and brushes the last tear from her cheek.
She swallows hard. "I'm just…really proud of you Deacon. "
"You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine," she says, swiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.
It isn't the first time he's heard her tell that lie. But today he lets it go and picks up his guitar again. He'd rather be in her band, rather be her friend than not have Rayna in his life. And some secret part of him never gives up hope that it won't be this way forever. They have lots of time.
Daphne sits up, swinging her legs on the end of the tailgate. "What about me?" She asks hesitantly. "Do you remember the first time you ever met me?"
He sees the need for reassurance in her eyes. They haven't really talked much about what happened after the funeral, the way Teddy and Tandy had tried to force her to "choose." It was a hell of a huge burden to put on a kid who had just lost her mother to now have to pick between two dads. He didn't know if he'd ever forgive them for that.
"Of course," Deacon says instantly. "I met you when you were a few months old. Your mama was damned bound and determined to bring you girls on tour, and everybody told her she was crazy, but she did it. Nobody got any sleep on that bus for six months."
"Dad, really." She looks embarrassed, but there is a little smile. "Mom always said I was a "spirited baby"," she emphasized.
"Yeah, you were," Maddie says wryly as she sits up on the other side of her sister and brushes her hair back from her face. "You screamed whenever anyone put you down. Dad, I remember falling asleep on the bus every night listening to you and mom play when I was little. I missed that so much when we stopped going on tour with her."
"I want both of you to know," he said quietly, looking them each in the eye. "I loved both of you from the moment I met you. Because you were your mama's. Don't ever, ever doubt that."
They hug, the three of them, and he thinks that even though this day hurts a little, it was a good idea, a little bit of glue to put their pieces back together.
"We love you too, Dad."
As their arms wrap around him, he has never been more grateful that of all the thing Rayna gave him in her life on this earth, there is absolutely nothing that could come close to how it feels to be given the chance to be their dad.
"I've been thinking about something else," Deacon says finally, cautiously. "And I want you girls to be honest how you feel about it. I've been thinking about selling the house."
He waits for their reaction. When it comes, it isn't exactly what he expected.
"Where would we live?" Daphne asks hesitantly.
"Well. There's my house with Scarlett. And there's the cabin too. Or we could…hell, we could buy a brand new one if that's what you girls want to do. Start over?"
Maddie's face shows her contemplation. "It's hard being there," she confesses. "Without Mom. Everywhere I look it's just…her everywhere."
"Your mom kept that house because you girls grew up there," he says soberly. "But…to be honest her and I talked awhile back about selling it even before everything happened. It's a bigger house than we really need."
"It doesn't feel like home without her there." Daphne says sadly. "She was the one who made it home."
He nods in agreement. "So I think its a decision we have to make together."
"I'd be okay with moving," Maddie admitted. "Actually, I'd be kind of relieved. I wouldn't mind living at your house with Scarlett."
"Me too," Daphne says after a minute. "I mean Mom will be with us wherever we go, right? It doesn't matter what house we live in as long as we're together."
"Right," Maddie hugs her sister close. "We'll always take our memories with us."
It is a small bit of comfort for Deacon to see the two of them close again. They've seemed so distant the last year. But Maddie is stepping up now, and growing up. They both are.
"Well it's something to think about," he says. "We don't have to decide anything right now."
They get real quiet for a minute, then finally Daphne slides down off the tailgate and goes to climb into the truck. "Next stop?" She says as she leans out the window.
"You got it."
"Hey," Deacon stops Maddie with a hand on his arm before she goes to do the same. "Listen, I just want to tell you something. I know you want to be strong for your sister, but you can cry. Get mad, even. You don't have to be strong all the time."
Maddie nods her head soberly, and leans over to kiss his cheek. "I know. That goes for you too, Dad. You know what mom told me once when I had a bad day? She said it's okay to break once in awhile, because we're all a little broken."
"That's how the light gets in."