Title: We're Not Done
Author: roxminallo
Disclaimer: I claim no rights in regards to the characters that Disney and Square-Enix own.
Rating: NC-17 with strong language, and triggers including but not limited to depression and anxiety.
Pairings: AkuRoku, SoRiku
Category: Alternate Universe, romance, humor, drama, and yaoi.
Date Begun: May 25th, 2013
Date Posted: July 2nd, 2013
Date Edited: April 28th, 2016
Chapter Three: Who Am I?
*****Authors Note PLEASE READ*****
This is techincally not a new chapter, because I am splitting this up now. Please re-read from Chapter One, it won't take you long. I want to make sure you all know this, for the people who are following this story.
Perhaps creating angry faces into a bowl of mashed potatoes wasn't the most socially acceptable thing somebody could do, but Roxas decided three minutes ago that he ran out of fucks to give earlier in the day.
"Instead of mutilating poor innocent Yukon Gold's, how about we work on our English project? Hm?" Kairi placed a smooth hand across Roxas's own, urging him to drop the fork that was attempting murder to the discolored goop sitting in front of him.
"First, if you think for a second this school actually buys real potatoes, you're dumber than I thought you were. Second, I don't want to work on our project because it isn't due until Monday. We have the weekend, so stop trying to be a good student," Roxas stopped her cold in thought, feeling the eyes of the people that were sitting at their table.
"What the fuck set up camp in his ass?" Tidus spoke pointedly to the brunette next to him, not bothering to cover up his voice with a whisper. Roxas turned his head to glare at the couple heatedly, immediately causing them to place their attention back to the food in front of them.
"Today is Friday, and I highly doubt that you'll want to work on it over the weekend," she reasoned, earning an exasperated sigh from the blonde boy. "Unless you want to come over to my house, and work on it. That would be fine with me," Kairi smiled. "And Axel."
"That's what this is about?" Tidus spoke again, this time being quickly shut up by the obnoxious brunette next to him.
"Tidy, if you know what's good for you, I'd can it. And that says a lot coming from me," Selphie said lightly, earning a few laughs around the table. Roxas looked across his seat to Kairi, who still had a smile plastered onto her face. How is that she could always find a way to make Roxas want to punch her?
"How can someone be so nice, and so sadistic at the same time?" He shot, hearing the girl in subject laugh lightly. "We'll work on it over the weekend, but you're coming to my house," he spat, pushing his lunch tray away from him.
"Ah, ah, ah, Roxas. No can do," Kairi stated simply, closing her eyes and shaking her head lightly side to side.
Roxas swallowed tightly, his blood now boiling. He sighed, slowly opening his mouth to speak. "And why is that, Master?"
"I love when you call me that," Kairi smiled. "And because you and Axel need to settle this fight. It's tearing you two apart, and it's tearing you apart from yourself. This is day five now Rox, we're all put up with it all week, and we are here trying to help you. Stop pushing us away. Don't you see how it's affecting everybody?" Kairi stopped, looking around the rectangular lunch table. "Selphie hasn't said much in the past fifteen minutes, and we all know how much of a loudmouth she is. Tidus can't even glance in this direction without you shooting daggers into his soul. Demyx isn't even sitting with us, because last time him and Zexion touched each other, your head almost spun completely around like the exorcist, and I can't take the emotional beatings that you dish out," Kairi spoke quickly. "Not anymore at least," she finally stopped, hoping at least a few words of her rant would sink into his thick skull.
"I didn't ask any of you to be affected by this, and I definitely didn't ask any of you for help. Mind your own business, and get back to your own fucking lives. Plain and simple," Roxas spat.
You are so stupid.
"Roxy, we're just trying to help. There's no need to-"
"No," Kairi spoke quickly. "No, Selphie. He's right. He doesn't need us, and he doesn't need our help. After all, he didn't ask for it," she stared, emotion absent from her delicate features.
"We need to get back to our lives. And if he wants to sit in his pathetic and worthless state of being, then fine by me. I'll be here in the end to pick up the pieces, but I won't be here to watch him break down," she stood, swinging her backpack over her shoulders and walking straight out of the cafeteria.
"What the fuck, Rox?" Tidus hissed, staring straight into his eyes. "This isn't you, man," he stood up, not bothering to wait for Selphie to follow. He knew she would.
Roxas stared down at the mutilated face that he created in his food, before allowing the tears that had formed in his eyes to finally fall. He knew that everything that the two said was completely true. He was a monster, and a dramatic one at that. People get their heart broken every day, there's no need to act like everybody around you died.
"I'm not going to say that they're right," Selphie paused, suddenly at the other side of the table, crouching down so that they were both at eye level. "But you already lost the most important thing in your life… Don't lose the others," she stood, rubbing Roxas's arm gently before walking out of the cafeteria after the other two.
"I would never betray you. And I can't understand why you would even think I could betray you."
"I'm walking over to the coffee shop before I go home so I can pick up my schedule. Do you want to come with me, Rox?" Sora smiled, feeling the warmth of another body embrace him gently from the side. Lifting his head ever so slightly, he could feel the heat radiating off of Riku's porcelain face.
"You walk home alone too much Rox, come with us," Riku smiled, finally letting Sora go for long enough for him to slip his backpack over his shoulders.
"Your point is?" Roxas asked dryly. Who care is he walked home alone? It was his quiet and personal time to think and relax, and he didn't think anybody needed to impede on that.
"We're just saying that we want your company Roxas…" Riku approached gently. Since the breakup, Roxas has been slightly sour towards the couple. Both Sora and Riku knew not to take it too personally, but this week it hasn't been easy. Any time they would be in the same room as Roxas, it was as if they couldn't even go near each other. They decided to sit outside this week for lunch, with Demyx and Zexion till everything calmed down a little, the other couple also fearful that they were making Roxas even more upset than he already was.
"And I'm just saying to mind your own fucking business," Roxas began walking, as he swung his messenger bag over his shoulder. He finally reached the front door to the school, and swung it open as the final bell of the day went off over the loudspeakers. Kairi was right about one thing, it was getting colder. The crisp wind slapped against his face and arms like a whip, immediately making him shiver. He really needed to stop forgetting his jacket.
"Roxas."
Roxas stopped immediately, freezing in place. It was as if the crisp of the wind finally froze through his bones, completely immobilizing his movement. His breath caught in his throat, and he began taking shallow breaths.
"Roxas, I just want to talk to you."
He tried to move and get away from him, but his body still wasn't reacting. He couldn't even think straight. That's why he was so surprised when he was able to form a complete thought.
"There's nothing to talk about," he spoke, his breathing rugged.
"No, there's plenty to talk about," Axel pushed harder. "Where's your jacket? It's freezing out, Rox," Axel prodded, moving closer to him.
"Don't call me that," Roxas spat. Feeling returned to his feet, allowing him to walk quickly past Axel and his car. He knew Sora and Riku were probably behind him on the steps to the front doors of school, but he didn't want to risk passing Axel again to get to them. No, he was on his own this time.
"Roxas, let me drive you home," Axel pushed harder, walking alongside Roxas.
"Axel, leave me alone," Roxas spoke heatedly. "If ignoring your calls and messages wasn't a big enough hint, then let me spell it out for you. Do not speak to me. Don't come find me," Roxas finally turned to him, immediately being reminded why he didn't look up at him in the first place. Axel was perfect. His green eyes pierced straight into your soul, and they had a beautiful way of showing you how much he cares without him having to say he does. His smile was something to die for, but fortunately he wasn't smiling. That would have been the last straw for Roxas.
"Roxas, you won't even give me a chance!" Axel stepped forward, desperately wanting to hold the blonde boy, but planting his arms at his sides. He wanted to talk to Roxas, not scare him away. Roxas stepped back, seeing Sora and Riku approach the two out of the corner of his eye. He silently begged for them to step in and whisk him away, but he knew that the two wanted this conversation to happen.
"I gave you a chance when I told you I loved you," Roxas spat. "You ruined that chance. There are no more to give, I won't be one of those people that gets cheated on and keeps crawling back for more. That's not me, I'm not that pathetic," he fought, turning around once more before walking towards the sidewalk.
"I didn't fucking cheat on you!" Axel yelled, grabbing Roxas by the arm and spinning him around. He placed both hands on Roxas's forearms and refused to let go. "If you would just listen to me while I try to explain!"
"Get off of me," Roxas spoke easily, his eyes taking a darker shade to them. Axel's hands felt like fire on his arms, and he wanted nothing more than to remove them, and cuddle into them at the same time. He swallowed hard.
"Roxas, in the past I have fucked up and done stupid shit, but I would never screw up that bad. You're the best thing to ever happen to me."
"I said, get off of me."
"Why would I ruin something with the one person that remains constant in my life?" Axel pleaded, digging his hands into Roxas's forearms slightly tighter. The pressure made Roxas reel back, ripping his arms away from the redheads, and slap Axel clear across the face. His hand stung, and he immediately knew how hard he had hit him. Axel's eyes snapped open, staring at the boy in front of him with disbelief. Never in the five years they knew each other had either of them lay a violent hand on the other.
"R-Roxas…" Axel swallowed hard, backing away from the boy slowly.
"…. I-I told you to get off of me," Roxas tried to reason, his excuse falling flat. His hands began to shake, and his right hand began to throb lightly from the cold impact of the slap.
"Y-You hit me…" Axel stuttered out, feeling hot tears form in the corners of his eyes. "How… How could you do that?" He managed to say before tears began to roll down his face. Roxas stared at his hand, seeing the red welts already appearing against the palm of his hand.
I'm so sorry…
"I-I have to go…"
"Roxas…" Roxas turned around, only to be confronted with Sora and Riku walking up to him, a shocked Axel behind them. He couldn't bring himself to look Axel in the eyes, and he didn't want Axel to see the tears that began to form.
"What was-" Sora tried to speak lightly, before being cut off.
"A-Are we walking home or not?" Roxas yelled, watching as the other boys visibly winced. "Fucking walk already."
"Yeah, we're walking, let's go…" Sora finished, nodding to Riku gently, speaking their silent language. Riku placed a quick kiss on the side of Sora's head, and rubbed his arm lightly.
"Let me know how it goes," Riku spoke gently, immediately making his way back over to Axel, who quickly fell into the silver-haired boys embrace.
"Rox-"
"W-What happened to me?" Roxas questioned, finally braving the stare into his brother's eyes. He let the tears finally fall, feeling his brothers grip around his arm tighten, as he leaned his head against his shoulder.
"I…" Sora paused. "I don't know, Rox…" he sighed gently, looking back to Riku and Axel one last time. "But we'll figure it out, okay?"