Chapter 1: Welcome to the SAO Let's Play!
[?'s P.O.V., 10/31/22 | 5:11 p.m.]
"HELL YEAH! I got a NerveGear, suckas!" I yelled after opening up the box on the counter, raising it for the entire world to see through my roof. If it had X-ray vision, that is.
This is the day I've been waiting for since I've found the pre-order ad a couple weeks ago while browsing through my fanfic – I mean – super important articles necessary for my high school project. Yeah, I totally didn't stay up until 6:30 a.m. finishing it up after completing the 51-chapter Unseperable Sparks story. But, the hype is really building up for the new VR game Sword Art Online. It's just like that time Uncle Vic made that Little Johnny game on Game Dev Tycoon. This is totally worth.
Well, now I got a couple hours before I have to go out candy-raiding with T, so before that I'll install my equipment into this thing. I'll need to add my recording stuff, my Wi-Fi hotspot, wireless upload device, an extra processor just in case, and my song playlists because I like playing with my music on, and the etceteras. Always need dem etceteras. Taking my stuff and tools out, I took out the casing of the VR helmet and was about to begin my work until …
"SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled again, this time in pain as rays of heat left my hands burning in extreme pain. I rushed to the kitchen sink putting on the coldest water to wash the ten sizzling fried sausages called my fingers.
"What the fuck is wrong with you little Japanese brain toaster helmet?" I muttered, before sighing in relief with the ice cubes in my hands after pulling some from my refrigerator. First thing, it's a gift of the game tech gods; next thing, it tries fried HUMAN fingers. It just lost the whole battery, like what the hell? It got its charger on. Should be full in a couple hours. Damn, painful glitches are a glitch – I mean – bitch. Heheh, punny.
"Anh Hai! Come on! We're about to go!" my little sister called out. T, I was just about to work goddammit.
Dashing up and down the stairs throwing the stuff inside my room (except for the NerveGear. I handled it with care in the protection of a towel. It's the preciousss), I finally caught up to my sister waiting at the front in her costume.
Slapping me on the shoulder, she gave a barely visible glare, "Anh Haiiiii, we have to hurry! You're like a koala sometimes!"
"Hey, I gotta clean up my stuff, okay? Gotta do those things before we go."
"Well, Mom and Dad were right about you taking your time in everything. You're going to be lazier than you already are if you keep getting addicted to those games."
"Well, I'm not the only one. Remember who spent the whole summer hogging over a certain Xbox if I remember correctly?"
"Well, at least I don't keep reading all that manga and anime."
"You like them, too! And it's watching anime. Remember? Manga's the graphic novel; anime's the TV series. OH SCREW IT! Let's just go already!" I opened the door and we went outside for the annual night of candy-hoarding, costume-dressing, and fucked-up horror movies.
Meanwhile …
The NerveGear was slightly smoking upon activation of its microwaves, and if anyone had a meter to check the room, the rads were coming a BIT up. Just a bit.
[9:13 p.m.]
Man, a good bowl of the beefy, noodley goodness right before I'm about to get back to work. Worth because it's so damn good! Time to check out the Microwave Helm of DOOM, aka the NerveGear.
Eh, it looks fine. Looks like it's not going to burn the skin off my limbs again BECAUSE IT BETTER FUCKING NOT. I swear. World War II's over, guys! Come on people, take some appreciation that we made up. Don't be like that, killing Americans with their own means of entertainment by melting our brains to our painful deaths. Bastards, man.
Oh well, gonna start the installation process. (Badass building tech music …)
(Reader sees the NerveGear and behind it the unknown character with a welding mask that suspiciously has three blue, glowing lines as a visor and a plasma cutter. Wait, what? Nonononono, take that back!)
(Reader sees the NerveGear and behind it the unknown character taking labored breaths with an iconic black helmet and a red energy sword. Bitch, hell no.)
(Reader sees the NerveGear and behind it the unknown character with blue goggles revving the chainsaw blade under the barrel of a large assault rifle. Goddammit, not that either!)
(Kay, kay, kay. I got you. Reader sees 15-second action scene with unknown character doing all kinds technical stuff with the NerveGear while blasting K-Pop through the speakers. You good, bro.)
A little more than an hour later …
Whew. Glad that was over with. Now they're going to launch SAO next week, and according to the betas there are a hundred floors on some weird floating castle. The only way kick ass was by hacking and whacking said ass with only the weapons. Sword Skills, Stats, and Equipment are basically everything. What's going to be my playstyle though? Oh yeah, imagine actually living your entire lives in a world like that, maybe make it the same in every aspect of life … and death. There was that guy 10 years ago with some light novel like that. Some Reki Kawahara guy. Hmm. Meh, think about it tomorrow.
[11/6/22 | 4:20 p.m., Sword Art Online Launch Day]
"Yume de takaku tonda karada wa /Donna fuan matotte mo furiharatte iku …" I sang softly to myself, shutting the door of my room and turning to my desk. I ate a hearty meal of homemade fettuccini alfredo with mushrooms and chopped up steak, and my homework's done. Tonight I play in Aincrad!
And there it was. The mind portal to another world. The envoy of the beginning of a new age of badassery to be a part of me. The big bro that I never had helping me work towards my dreams. Let's go to work. Turning on my laptop, I sorted out a few things before I had to go.
"Forever log-in of 'Tube account … update every day at 7:30 … commentary … audios … aaaaand YOSH! Sento kaishin!"
After giving the helmet a last once-over, I donned the new tech and turned it on, and I got through the biometric calibrations and stuff. Now taking a couple breaths, I softly said the two words, "Link Start."
Colors. Colors Everywhere. Not a pixel to prevent seizures to a guy's eye pair. Terrible quote, but seriously Akihiko, don't do this to people. Vivid colors are a lot to take in, kind of like your first time smokin' weed. And like that, you're suddenly in fucking heaven a couple seconds later.
I went through the character customization pretty quickly, already having a good idea of my looks. Just like a baby seeing the world at birth, I was reborn while being temporarily blind. Blinking my eyes, I took a breath and it took a bit longer to get it out, sounding like steam coming out of my nostrils and mouth. The landscape, the level design, the people, the whole goddamn world …
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMNNN! This all looks absolutely, freaking GORGEOUS!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, and a couple – fine, several – okay, okay a lot of heads turned at me with a bunch of raised eyebrows. Man, I like living in this place the moment I got here. Don't fuck with my adoration, haters.
I scrolled down my menu, and I inspected my character once again. A bit taller above average height, lightly muscled build, light brown hair with bangs covering my right eye, navy blue eyes, light tan skin, dark green long-sleeved shirt, brown vest, black pants, typical one-handed sword, and that's the works. 275 health at Level 1? That's above average if I remember correctly. The stats …
Strength: 10
Defense: 16
Agility: 9
Dexterity: 3
Luck: 2
"Oh ha ha, I got 765 big ones playing half an hour of gambling with my family. Don't shit on my luck, game," sarcastically muttered to myself, "Now to the abilities …"
One-Handed Sword: 1/1000
Slant: 1/1000
Vertical: 1/1000
Horizontal: 1/1000
Searching: 1/1000
Straining: 1/1000
Acrobatics: 1/1000
Sprint: 1/1000
Extended Weight Limit: 1/1000
I was going to scan through some other stuff, but SOME ASSHOLE forgot to put the English dub on them. What the hell, Kayaba? Now, I have to ask someone for …
"Oh crack on a biscuit!" I noticed the red flashing dot on the corner of the sort of HUD I had. I'm recording already.
"Oh my God! I am so sorry, viewers, for not noticing earlier, but I am VarlancerTheRanger. And, welcome to my Let's Play of Sword Art Online!" I said to no one in particular, "As you can see, I have already created my character and you've heard my less family-friendly comments a bit earlier. Sorry. But yes, let's get started on an adventure. No, wait, let's go Tolkien for a minute here. Ahem. My dear Bilbo, are you ready to go on an adventure?"
I slowly turned around taking in the sight of the houses, players logging in, surprised faces like mine earlier seeing the new world, "Well, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, to say again. Welcome to Sword Art Online …" I attuned in on the music, the sensations, all that good stuff; so I pretty much tried to rip off those Assassin's Creed synchronizations.
"Well, everyone, if you're wonderin' where we are, we are in the Town of Beginnings on the first floor of the floating castle of Aincrad. Aaaand, according to the beta videos I found on the Internet, we should be seeing some fields outside of here with some monsters, so let's get right to it."
I was jogging through the city for 10 minutes, passing by the crowds, marketplace, inns, and finally to the outside. Then, I drew my weapon at the sight of these probably low-level monsters before me, and I just had to unleash a little bit of my inner Crafter.
"Hello, PIGGIES! Die, bacon!" and I was getting it on with the slaughter and my commentary.
"No other thing'll matter to me. / No other thing but you … / This is the first time I've played a VRMMO! / It's just like 2001 playing Ha-alo / And right now I'm killing these piggies / So you must know! / (oh oh) / I'm in love with SAO! Okay, I promise, guys. This will be the last time I ever make a parody off a Brit boy band. Yeah."
My defense appeared to be very good for my level because I barely flinched at the impact of a full charge from those things. Just slashing at them repeatedly while holding them down became the norm for my grinding, and luckily there was a big concentration of piggies to kill where I was at. After some bad imitations of the announcers saying "Killing Spree!", "Quadra Kill!", "Killing Frenzy!", and so on; I checked my window on my abilities.
Congratulations! You have reached Level 2!
Stats:
Health: 290/290
Strength: 13 (+3)
Defense: 18 (+2)
Agility: 12 (+4)
Dexterity: 5 (+2)
Luck: 2(+0)
Abilities:
One-Handed Sword: 69/1000
Slant: 1/1000
Vertical: 1/1000
Horizontal: 1/1000
Searching: 32/1000
Straining: 29/1000
Acrobatics: 25/1000
Sprint: 88/1000
Extended Weight Limit: 46/1000
Stat Points Available: 5
Exp: 18/1000
"Oh forget you hating on my Luck. Go pick on someone else. Hmm, but I wonder how you level up those Sword Skills? Slant, Vertical, and Horizontal. Post those in the comments if you know how. I haven't even used them yet. It's supposed to be some pose to activate them, right? Also, I want to know where do you want me to put my Stat Point in or even what my playstyle should be. I want to go full tank, actually. Break the strength-agility meta that I'm certain will be coming up late-game. But yeah, post your thoughts in the comments below. Again, I'm back to grinding for the rest of the video, so skip ahead for anything interesting if you kiddies are bored."
I turn my view to two other players killing some hogs, too. One of them had dark blue hair and a lighter blue shirt, and the other one was an orange-haired individual with a red shirt and bandana. They both assumed a stance with their swords over their shoulders and their legs spread slightly apart, and their swords began glowing with power. A moment later, they dashed forward slashing through the monsters shattering them into code. Oh, is that how you do a sword skill?
"Well, everybody, that's one way to do a Sword Skill in SAO 101. Lesson finished."
I clapped at the duo, and they turned to face the applause. We walked towards each other and I nodded my head to both of them before sticking my hand out.
"Hello, great job on the multi-kills, guys."
They both tilted their heads at me before the red one confusedly asked me something in Japanese, I believe. God damn it.
"Darn it," I muttered.
The blue player curiously asked though, "You Amerlican?"
Well, take this T. Anime and manga are good for you, especially in video games. (Vision of T berating me about how bad video games are.) You know what? Forget it.
"Hai," I tried, okay, "Watashi wa Varlancer. Do you have subtitles?" stressing on the last sentence a little bit more clearly. Well, it looked like he got the message, and he opened his menu searching for something in the options, I think. I opened mine as well, and he came by my side pointing at different icons until he started talking to me with the English sub on and the text dubbed.
"Hello, I'm Varlancer, or just call me 'Var'. Arigatou."
"Kirito. Hello to you too."
And the red guy joined in, "And I'm Klein!"
I decided to ask a question, "Nice to meet you all. So … how you guys like it?"
Klein enthusiastically answered, "It's the best thing ever doing all this cool sword stuff. Ha!" thrusting his short sword with a Sword Skill.
Kirito looked at me for a couple seconds and asked something as well, "What level are you?"
"Uh, Level 2 just 5 minutes ago."
He seemed shocked for some reason, "What? So quickly?"
"Well, I just got surrounded by 12 of those pigs after killing what I think was their alpha or something. And I got a killing spree when I outlasted them with the Spin 2 Win."
"Wait, you had the Cyclone Sword Skill?"
"What do you mean? I haven't even tried any of them yet, but it's okay. I know exactly what to do after you dubbed everything. Thanks."
Kirito sweatdropped at the sheer absurdity of this n00b being Level 2 before him, and his face twitched in all kinds of places.
I waved a hand in front of him, "Eh? Kirito-san, daijobou?"
Then Klein looked at me weirdly, "You know Japanese?"
I shrugged and made an eh-eh motion with my hand, "Some bits and pieces I picked up from anime, video games, and manga."
Klein then nodded with a little 'oh', "Well, I need to log out and get my pizza until whauff – ?"
Our blue friend got back to his senses and checked his menu, "What do you mean? It's right – wait where is it?"
"Was this part of the beta, Kirito?"
"No, that can't be."
I tried the Game Masters, "Nothing with the GMs. This is really messed up."
I felt a weird sensation suddenly. If I was Alec Guinness (Yeah, I love some old stuff), I would've said one of his infamous quotes. 'I felt a great disturbance in the Game, as if hundreds of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.'
Then we got TP'd.
[5:30 p.m. | Town of Beginnings]
What the hell are we doing back here? What's with all the other people, too?
"Uh guys, I don't know what's going on here, but I think this is some weird-as-heck opening event or a cyberterrorist. Vote now," I commented, with sarcasm on the last bit.
Then a giant, red-robed and hooded figure descended from a red sky, and I just had to yell, "420 BLAZEIT!" which got me a lot of 'WTF's.
"Welcome to my world," he began, "I am Kayaba Akihiko. I am the only person who controls this world. So you may have noticed that the Log Out button is not present in your menus. This is not a bug, but another feature of Sword Art Online. I repeat, this is not a bug. In addition to that, there are no respawns, so when your health reaches zero, the NerveGear will release a pulse of microwaves to essentially destroy your brain. Any attempt to remove your NerveGear in the real world will also trigger this, but do not worry. The outside world has learned from its mistake after the deaths of 200 players."
"Kirito, is that even possible?"
Said person nodded grimly, "Yes, the capacitors in the NerveGear are more than capable of killing us, and simply unplugging it won't work either. It has an internal battery that will run for a very long time."
"Son of a bloody gun," I groaned.
The other players are getting riled up too, I see, "Impossible, 2-200 p-players?! / "Is it true?!" / It can't be!"
"Also, I decided to give a little gift in your inventory."
I pulled out a 'Mirror' then I and everyone else flashed in a bright light, revealing different avatars for all of us.
Mother of God. I had dark brown, mostly straight yet slightly messy hair, plain brown eyes, 5'7" tall height. I'm me. Everyone is themselves. In real life. Turning away from the uglier (I mean, ugliest) bastards, I told my viewers out there.
"For the love of blimin-ay, don't make yourself uglier than you already are. Look your best, people!"
Then I saw Klein, a little scruffy but not much changed about him, but Kirito. This is the kind of cute seinen guy going to get his own harem. Lucky bastards, and unlucky ones sometimes. The two were talking a little, but I ignored them to hear more from the 'Creator'.
"The only way for anyone to escape this game is by clearing all 100 floors of Aincrad. However, you will all be probably wondering about why Kayaba Akihiko, the very creator of Sword Art Online and the NerveGear, do this? Well, I did this to you 10,000 players because I have a world to control and that all of your lives will become new ones in my world. This is the tutorial for SAO. Players – I wish you luck."
I watched the mass hysteria spread throughout the stadium.
"To all of you out there waiting for us, like our jailer wish us luck and my condolences to the loved ones of those 200 players. I end this first episode of Sword Art Online. This is not just a Let's Play anymore, it's a life story now. This is VarlancerTheRanger, and I'm signing out. Ba-bye." End of video.
I saw Kirito dragging Klein away and I proceeded to follow unseen. Once they arrived in an alley, the black-haired teen faced his other companion.
"I'm headed for the next town. There will be quests and better monsters there. Will you come with me?"
"I'm sorry, but I have friends back there. I need to round them up and meet up like we agreed. You go on ahead without me." The two nodded at each other and wished good luck.
"Oi, Kirito!" said boy turned, "I like you better like this. You look very cute."
He gave his acquaintance one back, "Yeah, and you look better as a scruffy scoundrel. Just as I imagined." But Klein was gone.
Dashing away, Kirito headed for the next town killing monsters in his wake, and I followed getting some of my share of the action.
I asked the viewers if they're ready for an adventure. Gandalf-style, especially. Well, I am.
Hello, everyone to my first Sword Art Online fanfic! Welcome to my world …. JK, but hope you enjoy. Type up a comment and press that review button if you're interested in the series. Favorite and Follow if you want to which is nearly as good, but I am interested in what you have to say. Until the next episode of Sword Art Online Let's Play, this is GrimRangerLock3001. See ya.