Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
If you haven't seen Dirty Dancing, there are spoilers.
Thanks to Dragonsrule18, L. Thestrup and dean-winchester-is-our-king for your reviews :)
Things are different after Dean and Castiel's talk, to the point where even Sam can tell when he returns to the bunker with their food. On the surface, they act as they always have: Dean teases Castiel for his lack of pop culture knowledge; Castiel unashamedly invades his personal space (which Dean thinks isn't so accidental anymore – after all, it's been years of trying to drill it into his head, and the angel isn't stupid); Dean stops Castiel from sinking into a pit of 'cooped up inside depression' and Castiel metaphorically kicks Dean's ass whenever he has his crippling self-loathing thoughts.
But there's a different feel to them now. Dean can no longer pretend that it's innocent when his hand brushes across Castiel's back as he passes him, nor can he pretend that Castiel doesn't know what he's doing when the angel just sits there and stares, and then Dean gets caught up in his gaze and stares back and Sam cracks a loud joke about how he wishes they'd 'stop eye fucking already'. Though however annoying his little brother is, Dean can't help but feel very grateful that Sam sticks to annoying jokes and doesn't actually make an effort to talk to one of them and 'get them to open up about their feelings for one another'. Sam must know him better than he'd expected, if the bitch isn't trying to force Dean to have a chick flick moment about how he feels for Castiel.
"Something happened when I left," Sam says simply when Dean tentatively brings it up, trying not to sound too curious for fear of being forced to have the chick flick moment he dreads. "I can tell. But I know that you're deathly allergic to talking about this shit – even though I know you're just pretending not to like chick flick moments – so I'm staying outta it. Not my business."
"You sure those trials aren't banging you up too much?" Dean says. Sam opens his mouth – probably to bitch about how he's fine – but Dean gets in first. "'Cause if you think I love chick flick moments, they must really be fucking with your head."
Sam rolls his eyes to high heaven.
"Dean, you love chick flick moments. Don't deny it. I caught you sobbing your eyes out over Dirty Dancing just the other week, when Baby and Johnny did their romantic dance and could finally be together."
Dean's cheeks heat up. He stabs a finger at Sam threateningly.
"Don't you dare tell anyone, or you'll wake up to find your girly hair everywhere but on your head."
Sam holds his hands up in surrender, a small smile on his face. There's a short, awkward silence, in which Dean shifts from foot to foot uncomfortably.
"It's a compelling story, okay?" he blurts out. "He's just some shmuck and she's gorgeous and innocent and loves him, but she can't be with him because her family doesn't approve. But they stick it to everyone and win anyway."
Sam's sniggering into his hand. Dean wishes he could punch the sasquatch right in the face.
"See a bit of yourself and Cas in them, do you?" Sam smirks. Dean's first instinct is to tell him to fuck off but he knows that this is exactly what Sam wants, so he draws himself up.
"Hell yeah," he says proudly. "'Cause that means I'm Johnny, and Patrick Swayze is a freaking god among men."
He realises that he's just walked right into another trap when Sam's smirk widens.
"He is pretty good-looking, isn't he? About on the level of Doctor Sexy. Who you also totally don't like."
"Sam –"
"Also, you love the Impala more than almost anyone else. So if Cas is Baby…"
Scowling, Dean flips him off.
"Screw you, bitch." He storms off, Sam's cackles following him, and he nearly runs into Castiel in the hall.
"Is everything okay?" Castiel asks when he catches sight of Dean's face. Dean rolls his eyes.
"Just Sam bein' a bitch as usual."
"I heard your conversation, but I don't understand it. What is Dirty Dancing? Is it a type of dance in which you cover yourself in dirt and filth? And who are Johnny and Baby? I was not aware that Baby was a normal name for a human."
Dean gapes, then shakes his head.
"I know that you don't know shit about pop culture," he says in an almost hushed voice. "But Jesus, Cas, how can you not know Dirty Dancing? It's a classic!"
Castiel just stares at him.
"It may have escaped your notice, Dean, but I have been rather busy these last few years with the Apocalypse, Purgatory, being insane, and then being hunted by my brothers and sisters," the angel says dryly. "So forgive me for never having had the chance to acquaint myself with human popular culture."
Dean just shakes his head mutely.
"Not good enough, man. C'mon."
He goes to grab Castiel by the hand but then remembers how deep the shit he's in is, so he hastily grabs Castiel's sleeve instead. If Castiel notices Dean's hesitation as he's led to a room that they've repurposed into a living room, he says nothing.
"What's going on?" Castiel asks when Dean's fiddling with the DVD player. Dean snaps his fingers and points over his shoulder at Castiel.
"Educating you. You can't possibly continue through life without a healthy appreciation of the classics."
Castiel opens his mouth to say something else but Dean's got the DVD and TV up and running, so he falls silent when Dean shushes him. There's an old three-seater sofa that they picked up from a second-hand store when they'd repurposed the room and Dean falls back onto it with a content sigh, DVD remote in hand. Castiel sits down more stiffly, close enough to Dean that they're not on opposite ends of the sofa but not close enough that they're touching. Part of Dean wants to complain, to pull Castiel closer and hug him and run his fingers through that messy black hair…but another part of him recognises that this wouldn't be fair on Castiel after the angel's agreement to give him time, not to mention that Dean would never want to let him go and he doesn't want to feel rushed into anything he's not ready for.
They're barely five minutes into the movie before Castiel opens his mouth to ask a question. Dean prepares himself, but is surprised when Castiel just closes his mouth again.
"Dude, you can ask," Dean says. "I'm not gonna bite."
Castiel shakes his head.
"I have a feeling that I'll have many questions throughout the movie," he says. "I don't want to ruin the experience by constantly interrupting it."
Dean nods approvingly and settles back to watch. At about five minutes in is Swayze's entrance – cool sunglasses and leather jacket slung over his shoulder, and that's when Dean shifts to sit up straighter with a small grin.
"Is that man this 'Patrick Swayze' that Sam teased you about?" Castiel says, looking from Dean to the TV. Dean clears his throat and nods.
"Uh – yeah, that's Swayze." He hopes that he doesn't sound like he was just admiring the guy two seconds ago. Castiel returns to examining Swayze as his character is yelled at.
"I must admit, he is rather attractive," the angel says. "I can see why you would consider him on the level of deity in terms of human appearance."
Dean splutters.
"I – what – I don't –"
"Dean. You don't need to maintain a front with me. If you find him physically attractive, I will not judge you at all."
Oh, right. Castiel's an angel, so of course he wouldn't judge someone for finding someone else of the same gender attractive. And besides, he knows that Dean finds him hot, so judging Dean for liking Swayze would be pretty douchey.
"I…he's not bad," Dean says dismissively. Castiel just shakes his head in amusement and returns his focus to the movie.
Dean becomes more relaxed as the movie goes on…and so does Castiel. The angel begins to sag more and more and by the time Baby and Johnny are practicing in the water, Castiel is leaning against Dean's chest, taking up the rest of the sofa with his legs. If Dean was smart then he would awkwardly clear his throat and get Castiel to sit up…but he loves having Castiel against him like this. It's not inherently romantic, so it's not triggering a knee-jerk reaction, though it's taking all he has to not drape an arm over Castiel's stomach and make it cheesy.
"They're gonna get it on," Dean cackles quietly once Baby has finished her rant to Johnny and stands up to kiss him. Castiel looks up at him with a frown and then back at the screen.
"They…are dancing," he says. "Is 'getting it on' another name for that?"
Dean snorts.
"Just wait, Cas."
Sure enough, after Baby and Johnny's sensual dance, they kiss and then Johnny begins to remove Baby's clothes.
"Oh." Castiel shifts. "It's a metaphor for sex."
"Dude, don't tell me you're gonna be a prude about it! You saw the pizza man and the babysitter! And besides, this shit isn't even graphic. Made in the eighties, remember?"
The rest of the movie passes in an almost blur and before long, it's time for Baby and Johnny's dance in the final scene. Dean always denies until he's blue in the face that he cries at this scene but when he looks down and sees that Castiel's blue eyes are glossy, he gives a mental shrug and lets himself indulge. Castiel won't care. Castiel won't think him any less of a man for crying at something like this.
"It's beautiful," Castiel says in a thick voice. "Baby finally has the courage to stand up to her family, and Johnny begins to see his self-worth. Sam was right when he told you that they could be us."
The movie ends then, and Dean wants to jump up and smile widely and pretend that they'd just had a totally one hundred per cent friendship experience with no romantic subtext whatever, thank you very much. But he can't. He's so comfortable and warm and he never wants to get up –
"Having a good time?" Sam's voice says. Dean's never shot out of his seat faster in his life, and poor Castiel is left in a heap on the sofa with a bewildered look on his face.
"Yep! Movie just finished! Now Cas has an appreciation for the classic of Dirty Dancing!" Dean babbles. Sam smirks at him.
"Especially Swayze, am I right?"
"Swayze is rather attractive," Castiel says helpfully. Dean groans loudly.
"I ain't doing this shit."
Before Sam or Castiel can say anything, Dean escapes to his room as fast as he can. He doesn't know why he's so embarrassed, when both Sam and Castiel know that he's hot for the nerdy angel. Maybe it's because he hasn't allowed himself to have Castiel yet. If he allows himself to give in and accept Castiel's feelings, maybe other people's barbs won't get to him as much. Or maybe he'll become hypersensitive, too tuned in to what other people would think of him being with another guy. Either way, it doesn't matter now.
It's not even ten minutes later that there's a knock on Dean's door. It's either Sam come to tell him that he's an idiot, or Castiel come to have a 'talk'. Neither option is really appealing to him.
"'S open," he calls anyway, not even moving from where he's sprawled on his back with his hands folded under his head. The door quietly creaks open and Dean raises his head to see Castiel standing in the doorway, still as stiff as ever but with an apologetic air to him.
"Dean." Castiel closes the door behind him with a quiet click, then hesitantly approaches the bed. "I wanted to apologise."
Dean eyes him for a moment, then pushes himself into an upright position with an explosive sigh and gestures for Castiel to sit down. The angel perches on the edge of the bed, his whole body drawn and tight.
"Relax, I ain't gonna bite," Dean says with an eye roll. Castiel remains sitting awkwardly but his demeanour seems to slump in relief. "What d'you wanna apologise for?"
"I embarrassed you. Back in the living room with Sam. I could see that you were uncomfortable, yet I attempted to join Sam in his 'teasing'."
Dean thinks it's freaking adorable that Castiel uses literal air quotes. He also thinks that he'll never be vocalising that thought if he can help it.
"No big deal," Dean scoffs, waving a hand.
"Dean –"
"Really. It's no big deal. So drop it."
Finally seeming to pick up on the fact that Dean just doesn't want to talk about it, Castiel closes his mouth and nods. Silence falls on them.
"Have you…thought further about our mutual feelings?" the angel finally says. Dean internally cringes. He's been afraid of Castiel bringing this up.
"I…Cas, I – I'm trying," he says lamely. "I wanna. I really do like you. But…"
Castiel nods and looks down, his shoulders drooping.
"But you are too afraid of what that might mean for us," he says. "You are too afraid that our profound bond will be irrevocably changed, and that you will lose me as a friend. I know that you may feel awkwardness on your part if that was to happen but believe me, Dean, absolutely nothing would change for me. All I want is to have you in any way that I can. I desire you romantically because I feel deep love for you."
He stands up smoothly.
"Dean, I hope you decide soon. I don't want to have to wait for your decision forever. I would much rather you reject me outright than drag this out, because at least that way I could return to simply being your close friend. I don't like this barrier between us."
Dean tries to call out to Castiel as the angel leaves but the words stick in his throat. With a groan, he slaps a hand over his eyes; then he bangs his head against the wall behind him, very impolite curse words swimming around in his brain.