Chapter 6: The Black Swordsman And WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?

[Varlancer's P.O.V.]

I woke up with a head ringing and aching and feeling like overall shit as I surveyed the room I was in. A few sleeping players here and there were drooling and mumbling incoherently; they all had slightly glowing, red marks on their faces. Wonder how that happened in a safe zone. My knuckles were blistered and burnt out as I felt the pain flexing my fingers. Bottles were strewn all over the place and the smell of stale alcohol and smoke lingered in the air. A random guy had his head on my stomach with his hand over – Oh you son of a bitch. Give me a second. *FALCON PUNCH, MOTHERFUCKER!* (Haha, GAY!) (Shut up, asshole.) Okay, fixed that image. Now, what the fuck happened?

I pulled myself up and shakily went to the bathroom. Washing my face on the sink as I thought about my own little timeline of what happened last night up until now.

Mumbling to myself, "Aye, let's see. Got a couple drinks at this place no doubt. Probably kicked a lot of ass judging how fucked up the people on the floor looked. And my knuckles burn and my palms are not sweaty, so it was an F-Zero bar fight," I peeked outside and spotted a new copy of the Daily Argo. Picking it up and locking myself in a stall, I heeded the call of nature and did my shit, literally, "Okay, starting to remember things a bit. Cocky dickhead challenged me. Can't a guy just sit in his stool without a single fight? Enjoying the finer things in life once in a while isn't a crime, and it doesn't mean people are complete pansies because of that," I flipped another page, "Ah, dammit."Another PK. Well, okay, then things got interesting. I believe it came to a drinking contest at the time, and I was actually drinking the same dickhead under the table. Man lost his senses and started saying all kinds of weird shit as he also brought out a pipe and tried to light it. Being the part-time law-abiding citizen I am, I took that pipe and dumped the burning tobacco into something wet, which was my booze. For some reason, I also drank that same booze a second later. Result? Karyu no Hoko! Say hello to Varlancer the fire-breathing dragon. Logically, this pissed the guy off ,and he tried to slug me. Next result? I punched back with my own fist, except backed by the power of Falcon. Punch + Falcon = Punch Falcon? Geezus, I'm still hungover. It's the other way around. Back on topic, I think I smashed him to the ground and I got brawls left and right. So, that's what's happened, people. If anyone watched the movie, it took me to pull off the exact same concept in 300 words."

Something doesn't feel right, like there's something that should've happened already. Aw shit, I remember. I keeled over and did the most obvious thing, "BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!" Puked my guts out, dumbasses.

(15 minutes later…)

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH! Gah! Son of a bitch, that was long."

Kicking down the bathroom door, I could only drag my body to the counter as I paid some Col to the bartender and grabbed another bottle. As the now sour liquid flowed down my hoarse throat, I felt numb. All that was left for now before I head out was just some final thoughts to think about. When did I just go from indecisive, bored teenager with lazy gamer tendencies to an always insane monster hunter with drinking problems? It's been only over a year in this world, and I have already turned to something that I never would have thought of break out of my shell of a body. Might be that whole personality change thing when you play video games, especially RPGs. If my family saw me now, what would they think?

"Heh, they might as well kick me out just being scared of me becoming a sociopath. Eh, I'll deal with it."

I got some water in my best effort to wash out the alcohol, and I soon got back to my feet.

"Sentai Avatar Change."

It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

[9:30 a.m. | February 16, 2024 | Floor 52 | Sword Art Online Let's Play Part 438]

"Oiii… Yesterday's dungeon was such a drag, right? Well, viewers, welcome again to another dragged-out episode of Let's Play Sword Art Online where anything that can slice, dice, smash, mash, cut, stab, and keeping your mouth shut while chopping away the flab is your best friend. Unless you're one of those people who actually have a life. Either way, like so many other parts in this series, I have no idea of what I want to do today! I mean grinding in RPGs is annoying enough and it isn't any better after doing it for the past one and a half years. I'm still waiting for my pot to grow. And there are no quests I haven't done already. I'm still recovering from my most recent hangoverrr – Wait, I meant hangout, like hanging out with some bros brofisting with other broskies and bromancin' and being absolute bros …"

I sat down on a bench and picked an apple from my pockets. The satisfying crunch and sweetness had me block out the rest of the world, and I just sat on the sidelines enjoying this very day. Like, who the hell would be crazy enough to just randomly yell out shit to fuck it up, right?

But, I just had to speak of the devil, "PLEASE! Please, will someone listen? An orange guild's on the loose and they must go to jail! Please, someone! I already have a crystal for the job! My guild's been robbed and killed by it, and someone help me. I beg of you," pleaded a grief-stricken player. (Damn, that came pretty quick.) His wretched form stood hunched and beaten like a beggar who would soon starve. The clinging hands latched onto what they hoped to be their hope, only to be shoved away like any other deranged wretch.

With some real curiosity about what happened (and the added fact that I had nothing to do, don't get me wrong), I walked up to the poor guy and tapped him on his back.

He turned to me with crazed eyes, "Will you help?" he asked insistently.

"First thing: yeah, I'm gonna help. Second thing: I can't guarantee that I'm gonna do what you asked for. Let me contact a friend who can help me out. And last thing: Don't look like a madman. It just pisses people away from you, and I'm the only one who can pull it off fine apparently. So, what do you know?" I responded.

"Okay, I'll start from the beginning. I was the guild leader of the Silver Flags. All we were was just a medium-sized guild out farming for Col. A month ago, some fiery redhead chick wants to join."

A small flash and some classy glasses and a notepad appeared, "Name?"

"Rosalia. And then, she was a hoo – I mean – looker, and the rest of the guys got along well with her. She fit in quite well, and we got used to it. We had quite the lucky run at the time until the monsters couldn't spawn back fast enough. By then we were running low on funds, and then the bitch started acting up. With us wrapped around her finger, we basically risked life and limb for any money. First, she got us going even deeper into dungeons with monsters over our levels. Then, our stuff was stolen from our base. Finally, they all came. We were surrounded and forced to give up all our items and Col. Stripped of armor and all, Rosalia and her lackeys left us to die in our restraints. As soon as my guild started running, monsters were somehow drawn to us at every turn. The only one to make it out was me, and with a hidden stash of emergency Col, I had started to farm up again. This time, I only got a simple armor and weapons set, and I saved up the rest for this teleportation crystal I have here," he showed me the crystal in his hand, "Now, here I am hoping to find someone to help me out here."

I thought about what was just said right now and came to a decision. Extending a hand out, "Okay, I'll do it. Let's get on with this."

The stricken player only placed the crystal on it, "This crystal will send them to the prison. Don't kill them; just use the crystal."

I raised my brow, "I thought that was only for an emergency. Was going for a handshake there. Why no revenge for your comrades?"

"Because, I can't bear to kill another person, even if I only asked someone to. Please, just send them to prison and leave them. That's all I ask."

"Hm. Not saying that I want to kill someone (Okay, I'm just a bit curious. I will relish their pain pouring from their vocal chords. The fear crying from their eyes. The strangle of death over their slit throats. Hahahahaha~…) (Okay, what the fuck? 0_0), but it's a possibility I might accidentally crit in their red. Would you be okay?"

"What's done is done, but just try not to. Well, is that it?"

"Well, there's one thing…"

"What?"

I showed my five outstretched fingers to his face, "Five."

"Five what? Five thousand? Five million? …"

"What the hell? I meant just five Col."

"I do have some left over," he opened a trade window for the exchange.

I accepted, and with an empty motion of flipping a coin and catching it, "Your wish has been heard and shall be granted."

He stared at me like some idiot, "…"

"Now all of that's out of the way, I or one of my peeps will report to you when it's done. Don't go nuts," I deadpanned.

Nodding in agreement, he gave me one last look before turning away and leaving.

"(Sigh), well, time to make a call," I opened up my contacts and messaged a certain guy, "'Meet up at my position by 12. I'll have lunch. Argo will be there too. –Varlancer'"

[February 28, 2024 | Floor 47 | Silica's P.O.V.]

Kirito-san's so awesome! Now if only I can get him to like me, and I mean actually like me. Like, I could join him to get to know him better even longer, but I'll have to take on stronger monsters. Maybe defeating them will actually impress him. Aaaahhh~ I wonder if I'll ever see what he's really like back in real life. Maybe he's completely the same. His face, his voice, his being, his possibly toned, rock-hard a – AAAH! What am I thinking?

My face heated up again uncontrollably.

"Silica, are you sure you're okay?" Kirito asked in a worried tone, "You've been like that a lot of times today."

"No, I'm fine! I'm fine! Perfectly FINE!"

"Well, hope you stay that way," he smiled slightly before turning back to its serious face.

Oh, he's so cool. I'll always be okay if he's around. What can go wrong if I'm with him?

Suddenly, Kirito stopped, held my shoulder firmly, and yelled, "Whoever's in those trees, come out and show yourselves!"

Wait, what? What did he mean? There's no one there. At least, I don't think there is anyone there…

"Rosalia-san?" I was surprised as my former guildmate appeared in front of us. Was she stalking us?

She began, "If you can see through my Hiding Skill, your detection Skill must be quite high, Swordsman." Then, she turned to look at me, "It appears you managed to get the Pneuma Flower. Congratulations." Her expression turned devious, "Now hand it over."

I was still confused, "Wh-what are you talking about?" She didn't have any tamed beasts, so there's no point for her to want to use it.

Kirito stepped in defensively, "That isn't gonna happen, Rosalia-san. Or should I say leader of the orange guild, Titan's Hand." She stopped at the last name said and narrowed her eye.

How can she be the leader of an orange guild, though? "But she's green!" I pointed out.

"A simple trick," he explained, "The green players lure out the victims and lead them to the orange players that are waiting." Addressing Rosalia, "It was one of your friends listening to us last night, right?"

So, if Rosalia's like one of the green players that lead the other players to the orange ones, "Then, the reason we were in the same party for two weeks…"

The deceiver finished the thought, "That's right. I was assessing its strength, while waiting for them to earn money from adventures." I cringed fearfully, and she only raised her hands uncaringly, "You were the prey I was most anticipating. It was unfortunate that you left, but then you said you were getting a rare item." She turned to Kirito once again, "However, you knew all that and went with her anyway. Are you an idiot? Or did she really seduce you?"

He wouldn't do this with me just because I look cute! Though if he did, I might not mind …

Kirito only shoved the accusation away, "No, neither of the above. I, in fact, have been looking for you, too, Rosalia-san."

With a questioning tone she wondered, "What are you talking about?"

He was about to respond until a very certain player in a mottled cloak in shades of greens, brown, and grays jumped in (Random Thought in my Head: How many shades are we talking about here? Me: Uh, let's see. I believe it's 42 shades of green, 13 shades of brown, and 50 shades of grey…. -_-* Yeah, laugh it up you pervs.), "Okay, has anyone seen my saxe knife, Rosalia? I have the feeling to shank somebody, but I don't have the pointy thing in my inventory. So, cough it up, whoever it is."

Who the hell is this?

With the compass-star-shaped visor over his face, the newcomer finally noticed the swordsman and waved, "Oh, hey Kirito."

"Hey, Var," he responded.

Who is this guy? How does Kirito-san know this 'Var' guy? Is he his friend or a former enemy? Why is he with the orange players? Why am I asking so many questions?

"And hi, Silica-san," Var cheekily smiled.

I was surprised, "How do you know my name?"

The rest of his exposed skin paled a bit, but he scratched his head nervously and replied, "Oh, I was paid to stalk you by Rosalia here."

[Third Person P.O.V.]

The cloaked figure looked up at the pair of players that just entered through the teleport gate, a young girl and a slightly older boy. The two took a little time to look around the brightly-colored garden with the couples enjoying life and the love in the air. He smirked at the red slowly filling the girl's face realizing what kind of place this is and the boy in black's admirably feigned ignorance.

"Well, now that they are here, let's rock n' roll," he muttered to himself and messaged his employer, "Found targets … tracking … will be back … report … return trip … And there."

Then, he began his mission: stalking a shounen hero and a loli.

(Some time later …)

Straining through his eyes to keep tabs on his targets, he raised both eyebrows at the girl being lifted into the air by a vine. With the series of images, scenarios, and other stuff one can expect from a partial lolicon, he smiled widely in an effort to stifle his laugh coming from his lungs. He made a rectangle with his index fingers and thumbs and a screen materialized in the space between. After the makeshift camera clicked, the photo was attached to the message sent to his perverted friend.

"Almost flipped her skirt down . No luck. Real cute do' XD," it read.

The reply came pretty fast, "WHOOOAAA! KAWAAIII! Oh dammit, Kirito! DX"

"Maybe more coming. Will be getting good stuff, expected. Keep checking your inbox. ;)"

"Be careful. Sachi with me. Go for it anyways!"

A chuckle rumbled under the ragged gray hood, "Oh, then now this job also has perks. Man, I'm lovin' it."

'I wonder what would Kirito and that girl, or anyone in that matter, would say about this. Oh crap, what about Them?'

"If anyone wants to know, that this is all part of the plan. So for you judgers and authorities out there, I better not be thrown in the can when I get out," he said assumingly himself, but who knows? He muttered, however, "Actually, I could get arrested technically for some other things in the past. But, hey, if I die here, they'll never take me alive."

(Some more time spent doing totally legal acts of stalking and possible voyeurism …)

"HOLY SHIT, TENTACLE MONSTER!" the stalker exclaimed as the girl was now captured in the many tongue-like appendages on top of an anemone-like base.

Rapidly typing the message and attaching his best picture of the lewd scene, "SON OF A BITCH! Tentacles with loli inside. WTF is in Kayaba's sick mind!?" A thorny vine dropped by his side, and in a time of mere seconds he pulled it down and chopped it into seviche with his knife. "Kayaba, you pedo bastard …" he growled darkly. (But is he any better? You tell me.)

"Holy shit! I just (Lonely Island: JIZZED IN MY PANTS) died from AKDSVL$%(^%$!^%GJENFGG(()^ %JG! Sachi got me. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-QI%VC(#$%N BBBVWD&^#$)!"

"No, Gale! Live, brotha'! I'll always be with you!" the cloaked player pleaded angrily and sadly at the loss of his comrade in stalking (even if he wasn't there physically, or virtually in this game's case), "Damn it!"

He instantly perked up, however, "Oh look, they got the flower!" Now it's time for the stalker to report back his findings. Dashing back through the trees, the grey cloak billowed with the rush of the wind.

[Sword Art Online Let's Play Part 450]

I continued, "So, yeah, it's pretty much in my job description to know who you are. For your information, Kirito did look."

3…2…1…

"NOOOOO!" and the poor girl froze dumbstruck only blankly staring ahead in horror. Can't blame her.

I turned to Rosalia, "So did you see my saxe knife? I think I dropped it somewhere… Did one of your guys see it?"

"Oh, how about this? I pay you extra so that you can buy a new one after you kill those two over there with my friends," she snapped her fingers, and the rest of her guild came out of the trees.

She pointed to Kirito and Silica, but I only continued looking straight at her. I replied, "Well, we could talk business. Here, talk to the hand."

"Eh?"

A red glow surrounded my outstretched hand as I prepared to do an unspeakable melee move, "GOLDENEYE PIMP SLAP #007!" The force of the unexpected move had every woman on the floor rubbing a cheek subconsciously. (Hell yeah! Beat that Takashi Komuro!)

I leaped back standing to the side of Kirito, "Yeah, I'm sorry, love, but I just remembered that I was hired by someone just before you did. The guy just lost the rest of his little guild to a certain, redheaded, teamkilling fucktard. I was being a good agent of Providence and decided to offer my services for his revenge. After only a couple days, I found my target and went undercover as a freelancing orange player working for her. While all that was going on, my partner Kirito here," I nudged the swordsman, "kept a crystal ready to imprison all of you back in the Town of Beginnings. So, with Kirito here, we are about to proceed to beaming your asses to jail. Savvy?"

Kirito drew his sword and began walking slowly down the bridge, "I believe they heard it quite well, Var."

One of the Titan's Hand members sounded out the name, "Kirito…"

Another studied the description of their advancing adversary, "Black clothes… A one-handed, no shield style…" he soon realized and faced his leader, "That can't be … the Kuro no Kenshi.Rosalia, this is the beater who solos the frontlines. He's in the lead group!"

"Lead group?" Silica questioned aloud.

"Full of frontlining badasses, dickheads, and some nutjobs, including yours truly," I answered proudly.

She looked at me weirdly (Just like every other player that meets my crazy OC. Can't a man just look at him with respect? MY IMAGINARY MIND AND BLOOD. Anyone? *Looks back in past chapters* Eh, Klein and Argo will do.) before asking, "Who are you anyways? Kirito called you Var but is it, uhhhh…"

"Yeah, it's short for Varlancer."

Again, one of the Titan's Hand members recognized the famous (well sorta, you'll see) name, "Varlancer…... Who the hell are you?"

"Oh good lord, did you hear that guys?" I asked with rage in my voice, "You don't know who I am, eh? Well, dear viewers, clean out your earwax and let me tell you!"

"SENTAI … AVATAR CHANGE! HAAA!"

The cliché transformation sequence comes once again. The chestpiece looked like a certain red face with green eyes and black shades. Black shoulder plates jutted out with a flaming skull emblem once again wearing shades. The rest of the armor was red mechsamurai-like armor and all. However, no helmet was worn and instead the only headwear was red shades. A long flaming red cape flew in the virtual wind. A long no-dachi blade was sheathed on my waist and the trademark roundshield materialized on my arm (Note: If anyone doesn't get the reference, the blade is like a hell of a long katana instead of the fat blade with Illfang.).

Flames burning brightly in the background as the heavens shone in the light of hotblooded, mindnumbing manliness.

"The indomitable man of fiery-cool manliness. Impossible possibility rejects common sense. Pierce the heavens with the spiral. Guren Aniki, Kamina! Seesan!" Cue badass volcano explosion. *KRACK-BOOM!*

Drawing my sword and pointing ahead, "Sentai Transform …" I pulled it up to rest on my shoulder while pointing a thumb at my shelf, "Varlaranger! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"

(Random reader: A ripoff, baka! Me: Who said that? *Pulls out a drill* *SKREE! SKREE!* Where are you? Say that again to my face as I royally fuck yours up!)

"Uuuuuuhhhhh, you still never said who you are."

"Ha! If you can't even tell by the transformation sequence, then you're not worthy to know! Hell, I don't even need my sword to whoop yo' asses," I sheathed the no-dachi by my waist, "Now … Bring. It. On. Motherfuckers."

The guild was at unease and could only look at each other with some unknown fear. However, Rosalia sends the attack order, "Looks like they're all just talk. Just kill them and take their loot!"

They soon charged with Sword Skills ablaze as they fiercely hacked away at their opponents. Of course, Kirito was being a badass and stood still, tanking the hits. I, on the other hand, decided to have a little more self-amusement. Instinctively drawing my shield, I blocked and caught every weapon on its surface. The scene was of me crouching down, already tying up all of the weapons in a deadlock, and a flick of the wrist batted them away. Unfazed, they still continued the assault, but my health bar never went down a bit. By the time it ended, they panted and heaved as they tried to recover.

"400."

400 what, they ask.

"That is the amount of damage you could deal within 10 seconds."

Oh, that's what it was.

I said, "So, about 40 dps, eh? Well, that explains the absence of scratches on me armor."

"What does that gotta do with anything?" one of the Titan's Hands asked.

"Our Battle Healing Skills are maxed out, which enable us to recover 600 points of damage in that exact same amount of time."

"I-impossible."

"Bitch, that guy's level 71, and I'm 69. You're way outta your league from the start," I retorted. "Besides," I grabbed a guy's arm and forced it to plunge his sword through my abdomen, "My Defense Stat soaks up over 2000 damage every single, fucking time." The green bar didn't even flicker.

"Accept your judgment. Accept your sentence. Accept your fate. You will be imprisoned right now, and you shall atone for your crimes," Kirito affirmed sternly.

After Pimpslapping the guy that just stabbed me, I pointed at Rosalia, "L1, then R3 to arrest. Just like Hardline. Except I wished that I actually had a badge."

She raised her spear defensively, "Hah, you'll never take me in."

"Well, hardball is hardly an issue that's ballin'. Let's just play this the hard way. Right, Blacky?"

Kirito nodded in agreement.

"You can't possibly hurt me. If you do, you'll be despised for going orange," the redhead kept on.

By then, Kirito already had a blade by her throat, "We're solo players. If I don't care about going a single day being orange, then Var wouldn't have given a damn about wounding your entire guild."

"Thug life, bitch. Listen to the thug life."

[February 29, 2024 | Sword Art Online Let's Play Part 451]

I was petting a little furry dragon in my arms. It's like having a dog except it can fly and can heal and you don't get accused for animal abuse like Pokemon. More like How to Train Your Dragon minus the awesome plasma burst-breath. Though considering this is virtual reality, the closest thing is Digimon.

"Man, makes me want to go out Taming. Still, Pokemon makes it a more active challenge, and why settle for one when you can have an entire PC database of them? What do you think guys? Want to see me try to get my first Tamed Beast?"

Pina purred contentedly. I brought her to look at my face and, therefore, the virtual camera. "Look at that face. She agrees with me."

I thought more on how to train my own dragon. Take it out. Rub it. Stroke it. Please it. Feed it. Pamper it. (Now, watch AoA's "Miniskirts" and watch her stroke that kitten. That BIG, FAT, JUICY CAT!) Those thoughts were soon interrupted by the footsteps of the little girl coming over.

"I'm so sorry, Var, but I need to go out grinding. Can you give me back Pina?" Silica asked politely.

I looked up a bit startled, "Oh, yeah. Sorry." The little dragon woke up slightly agitated, "C'mon, Pina. You gotta go." She nodded and flew onto her Tamer's shoulder.

"Wow. Pina really likes you. Normally, she avoids contact with others."

"Well, my sister loves animals, and they like me. So, we had a few pets from time to time," I shrugged, "Wanted to build a translator to communicate with them. She'd love to have a dragon like Pina with her. Probably a mouse, more like. Give it electric powers and call it Pikachu."

"That's great! I would hope to meet your sister someday. Along with Kirito's. Do I remind you of your sister?"

"Heh. A bit if the love for adorable animals plus being the same age as her indicates anything, I guess. A definitely cute face while wielding a dagger. Now that I think about it, you really do have some similarities with her."

"Thanks, I'll be off then," she walked off to the woods.

"Wait, can I ask a favor?"

(Some time later …)

"I wanna be the very best. Like no one ever was," I sang in a hushed voice.

Shattered pixels rained upon the ground behind me.

"Taming them is my real test. To fight with them is my cause."

I spotted a beast that looked absolutely awesome in my tastes, and I yelled, "I want this one!"

"Hmm? Tame that? You can't possibly tame a beast that of that size."

Being the stubborn ass I could be, "No way, I'm forgetting this big guy. I'll tame him, and he will be mine. Then, I'll name him Freckles! Or Torterra."

Said beast was a turtle-like creature that looked like the Pandaren Dragon Turtle with the Torterra stone spikes on the middle of its back; a full-grown, 5-foot tall tree right behind the spikes; and colors of mottled greens, browns, and greys.

Once I approached it, my hand offered a bunch of brown nubs. It simply looked the other way. Okay, let's try a berry. And okay, it didn't work either. Like sticks? Doesn't like sticks. How about you be an Aron and eat the sword? Fine, be a Torterra-Dragon-Turtle hybrid.

"So, how do I get you to be in a partnership with me?" I asked rhetorically.

Instead of a verbal response, it gave a challenging glint of its eyes.

"Oh, you wanna go to town like it's 2006?" I chuckled in barely-contained excitement, "Well then, I challenge you to a Pokemon Battle!"

(Cue Pokemon music. I have the G3 battle theme in my head, but listen to whatever you want during the battle if you like.)

{A wild Torterra-Dragon-Turtle Thingy appeared!}

It roared a very powerful bellow!

{Go! Varlancer!}

"Go! Me!"

{What will I do? Fight}

{Varlancer used Soul Edge!}

{T-D-T T used Stone Edge!}

{Varlancer used Hulk Smash!}

{T-D-T T used Rock Smash!}

{Varlancer used Niner's Defense!}

{Varlancer's Defense rose!}

{T-D-T T used Iron Defense!}

{T-D-T T's Defense rose!}

{Varlancer used Complication!}

{T-D-T T used Frustration!}

{Varlancer used Moving Screen!}

{T-D-T T used Light Screen!}

{Varlancer used Doomhammer!}

{T-D-T T used Wood Hammer!}

{Varlancer used Threesome!}

{T-D-T T used Double Team!}

{Varlancer used Pillow Talk!}

{T-D-T T used Sleep Talk!}

{Varlancer used Tomb Raider!}

{T-D-T T used Rock Tomb!}

{Varlancer used F-Bomb!}

{T-D-T T used Seed Bomb!}

{Varlancer used Lagann Impact!}

{T-D-T T used Giga Impact!}

{Varlancer used Overpowered!}

{T-D-T T used Superpower!}

{Varlancer used Headbutt!}

{It's super effective!}

{T-D-T T used Tackle!}

{It's super effective!}

{They both hurt like a bitch.}

I was massaging my temple while my challenger stood a bit dazed from the last blow. Yeah, if Hareta couldn't get away unscathed, then neither can I. Somehow though, that was probably the one knock on the skull was all that I needed. This guy loves a good battle, but he's also something else. Something that I like.

It looked at me expectantly as I sat down in front of it and waved, "Hello, my name is Varlancer. I love cucumbers and long walks at the forest under the shade. But moonlight works sometimes. I travel the floors of Aincrad in search of adventure, fun, Col, and some good ale. I would love company. Are you willing to join the party?"

With a moment's glance, its eyes glinted with amusement and good nature. It nodded its head and kneeled on all four of its legs. I leaned back on its shell without a damn in the world. Except I noticed the awkwardly fidgeting Dragon Tamer.

"You know, you're welcome to move on if you want to. I'll just be here for the rest of the day, and I do think we'll see each other again. But then again, you're also welcome to just take it easy and rest up with me and Daitoragon."

"Daitoragon?"

"Oh you know, this new big lug. You're fine with it, right?" An earth-moving rumble came in response. "So, you going?"

Silica and Pina looked at each other curiously before coming back to us, "No, it's okay, we'd best get going. Congratulations, Var! And see you later, Daitoragon!" And they ran back to the town.

"So, Daito. Say hello to the viewers."

He gave a barely audible groan.

"Yeah, guys, that is it for today. Hope you enjoyed this one episode of the Let's Play. Meet the newest member of Team Varlancer that is Daitoragon, the Torterra-Dragon-Turtle Hybrid. And now I get my little mount to ride in. Tune in next time for more Sword Art Online. This is a beautiful world from Varlancer the Ranger. Peace."

Oh, that particular line reminded me of something.

"Uchumisen!" the old yet still awesome guitar from the day I first got it materialized in my hands. "So, an honorary song for Daito."

Everyday we just keep going through the motions and we don't know why
Seems like we never stop to take the time to know this life as it goes by
But there's a whole world out there, it's a miracle to see -
Like the colors of the rainbow, it's a living symphony

So open your eyes
It's easy to do
Just take the time
And look around you
Never forget:
This is a beautiful world

Do we really celebrate the beauty that surrounds us every single day
Or ever realize the gifts that we've been given might just go away?
We can't let it happen, it's up to you and me
We've got to work together, it's our responsibility

So open your eyes
It's easy to do
Just take the time
And look around you
Never forget:
This is a beautiful world

There's a whole world out there
Be thankful everyday
And grateful for the magic
It touches us so many ways

So open your eyes
It's easy to do
Just take the time
And look around you
Never forget:
This is a beautiful world (Oh, yeah)

So open your eyes
It's easy to do
Just take the time
And look around you
Never forget:
This is a beautiful world

Just take the time
And open your eyes
Never forget:
This is a beautiful world

It's a beautiful world, oh
Oh, just open your eyes
This is a beautiful world
It's a beautiful world.

[This Is A Beautiful World – Aaron Brotherton]

[-]

Hello, again. Plot bunnies escape me every freaking time and it was just hard to make this chapter an entertaining one with Var and Silica's appearance episode/chapter.

Now, it's clear I have used a lot of references this chapter, and to make it easier for my lazy ass and for anyone else, I don't own any of that stuff if you know what I mean. Special disclamer goes to the song, however.

So, reviews from ages ago:

Skyar Triv: Well, I feel bad that I made you drop your iPad. Nothing bad, I'm sure. Otherwise, glad that you fell back laughing. Sadly, SACs are going to be a Running Gag for pretty much rest of the story, so prepare to lock up your laughing box. Thanks for the idea, too! Now I have something to potentially torture Var with. (Var: Aw hell naw!) Aw hell yeah. (Just wondering did your friend actually read the story and fangirl, or do you just already know she's that much of a fangirl?)

Crimson Homura: Hope you like this beginning! Yeah, cupcakes are definitely going to come back later, whether it's for Kayaba or some other people (you may never know). Last thing, if you're talking about the 'opening' for LPSAO from Ch.4, then it actually is a real song. The title and author, respectively, are in the brackets at the very beginning just before the lyrics start. Unless you're talking about the "This is Christmas" parody from last chapter, well that is a parody I just made up myself.

Okay, so one thing about this chapter had me still annoyed by the time this comes out. I couldn't come up with a nickname for Var. Now, I wanted it to sound cool not only in English but also in Japanese. And, raping Google Translate doesn't help a lot. Therefore, I have issued a challenge:

COME UP WITH A TWO WORD NICKNAME FOR VAR WITH THE JAPANESE WORDS HAVING THE FIRST LETTER OF EACH BEING ANY COMBINATION OF THE LETTERS D, F, K, OR Y. IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT THOSE LETTERS MATCH IN THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION OR CLOSE TO IT. PLEASE SEND SUGGESTIONS TO ME WITH BOTH ITERATIONS OF VAR'S POTENTIAL TITLE/NICKNAME.

Now that's over with, who likes Daitoragon?

Favorite (Like), Follow (Subscribe), and Review (Comment) to further support the series. GrimRangerLock to be continued.